Jaokhun left the office at 5:00 PM with a plan.
The plan was simple. Learn to do ten pull-ups, run two kilometers in twelve minutes, and survive an obstacle course. He had six months.
The plan was also stupid, because he could not do one pull-up, and the last time he ran anywhere was to catch the BTS before the doors closed.
He took the train home, walked past three different ghosts having a loud argument about territorial rights on the platform, and arrived at his apartment at 5:47 PM.
Nont was on the couch, eating khao man gai from a street cart.
"You're home early," Nont said.
"Government jobs have good hours." Jaokhun dropped his bag. "Hey, random question. You still go to that gym near campus?"
Nont looked up, suspicious. "Why?"
"Just asking."
"You've never asked about my gym before. You said gyms are for people who hate themselves."
"I'm expanding my worldview."
"You're scheming something." Nont pointed his spoon at him. "What do you want?"
Jaokhun sat down. "Okay, fine. I need to get fit."
Nont laughed. "You? Fit?"
"Yes, me. Fit."
"Why?"
"For the ladies. Looking good. Health. All the normal reasons people get fit."
"You've never cared about health. Last week you ate instant noodles for four days straight." Nont was still laughing. "What's the real reason?"
"That IS the real reason. I want to look better. Get stronger. Impress people." Jaokhun leaned forward. "Come on. You're athletic. You go to the gym all the time. Help me out."
"I go twice a week. That's not all the time."
"That's twice a week more than me. Please. I'm a poor guy who needs guidance."
Nont studied him. "This is about the government job, isn't it?"
"No."
"They have fitness requirements."
"Maybe."
"Why didn't you just say that?"
"Because it sounds boring. 'Help me meet government fitness standards' is not inspiring. 'Help me get fit for the ladies' is a better story."
Nont shook his head. "You're unbelievable. Fine. But I'm not paying for your gym membership."
"I'm not asking you to pay. I have a plan."
"Oh no."
"It's a good plan."
"Your plans are never good. Remember the investment club?"
"That was a great plan. It just had minor execution issues." Jaokhun stood up. "Come on. There's a fancy gym in Thonglor. Very nice. Very expensive. We're going to get in free."
"How?"
"We're going to pretend we're interested in memberships. They always give free trial sessions to potential customers."
"That's lying."
"That's strategic marketing research." Jaokhun grabbed his keys. "Let's go. I need to start tonight."
"Why tonight?"
"Because I have six months to get fit, and I'm starting from zero. Possibly negative zero."
Nont sighed and stood up. "This is going to be a disaster."
"Probably. But you'll be there to watch, so that's entertaining for you."
The gym was called "PEAK Performance & Wellness." It had floor-to-ceiling windows, chrome equipment, and a reception desk that looked more expensive than Jaokhun's entire bedroom.
A woman in a black polo shirt with the gym logo smiled at them. "Hello! Welcome to PEAK! Are you members?"
"Not yet," Jaokhun said, turning on his most charming smile. "We're very interested in joining. We heard amazing things about this place. Best gym in Bangkok, right?"
"We do pride ourselves on premium facilities and personalized training programs!" The receptionist handed them a glossy brochure. "Membership starts at 3,500 baht per month, or 35,000 baht annually with a discount."
Jaokhun did not react to the price. 3,500 baht per month. That was more than his current monthly stipend.
"Sounds reasonable for this level of quality," Jaokhun said smoothly. "Before we commit, is it possible to try out the facilities? Just to make sure it's the right fit?"
"Of course! We offer complimentary trial sessions for potential members!" She pulled out two day passes. "These are valid for today only. Full access to all equipment, locker rooms, and group fitness classes!"
"Perfect." Jaokhun took the passes. "Thank you so much. This is exactly what we needed."
They walked past the reception desk into the main gym floor.
"That was too easy," Nont said.
"It's not a scheme if it's their standard policy. I just used their system." Jaokhun looked around.
The gym was massive. Rows of treadmills, weight machines, free weights, a separate room for group classes. Everything was clean and shiny. There were maybe twenty people working out, all of them looking fit and serious.
There were also ghosts.
A translucent elderly man was walking on a treadmill, keeping pace with a living human next to him. A female spirit was doing yoga in the corner, floating slightly above her mat. Another ghost was just standing near the water fountain, watching people with mild interest.
"Why are there ghosts at the gym?" Jaokhun muttered.
"What?" Nont said.
"Nothing. Talking to myself." Jaokhun pulled out his phone and opened the photo he'd taken of the assessment requirements.
2km run: 12 minutes. 10 pull-ups. 30 push-ups. Obstacle course: 3 minutes 30 seconds.
"Okay," Jaokhun said. "Let's start with running. How hard can running be?"
"You're going to die," Nont said cheerfully.
They went to the treadmill section. Jaokhun chose one near the window, away from the ghosts. Nont took the one next to him.
"Start slow," Nont said. "Like 8 kilometers per hour. Get warmed up."
Jaokhun set the speed to 8. The treadmill started moving.
This was fine. This was just walking fast. He could do this.
After one minute, he increased the speed to 10.
This was jogging. Still fine.
After two minutes, his legs started feeling heavy.
"You good?" Nont asked. He was jogging easily, not even breathing hard.
"Great," Jaokhun lied.
At three minutes, he was breathing hard. His chest hurt. Why did his chest hurt? He was young. He should not be dying after three minutes.
The elderly ghost on the treadmill next to him was keeping a steady pace, looking completely unbothered. A dead person was in better shape than him.
"How long do you usually run?" Jaokhun asked between breaths.
"Thirty minutes. Sometimes forty-five."
"That's insane."
"That's normal."
At five minutes, Jaokhun's legs were burning. He slowed the treadmill back down to 8. Then to 6.
"You're barely moving now," Nont observed.
"I'm cooling down."
"You ran for five minutes."
"Strategic cooldown. Very important." Jaokhun stopped the treadmill. "Okay. Running is good. Let's try something else."
"You need to run for at least twenty minutes to build endurance."
"I'll work up to that. Let's do push-ups."
They found an empty area with mats. Nont dropped down and did ten push-ups easily. Perfect form. Not even struggling.
"See? Easy," Nont said.
Jaokhun got down on the mat. He positioned his hands. He lowered himself.
His arms shook.
He pushed up. One push-up. Barely.
He lowered himself again. His arms were screaming. He pushed up. Two push-ups.
On the third one, his arms gave out. He collapsed face-first onto the mat.
"You okay?" Nont asked.
"Fine. Just resting."
"You did two push-ups."
"I'm warming up."
He tried again. This time he managed three before collapsing.
The yoga ghost in the corner was watching him now. She looked concerned. Even the spirits thought he was pathetic.
"How many push-ups can you do?" Jaokhun asked Nont.
"Maybe fifty. Sixty if I'm trying."
"That's not normal."
"You're just very unfit."
"Thank you for the support."
"You asked."
Jaokhun sat up. His arms felt like overcooked noodles. "Okay. Last thing. Pull-ups."
"Oh no," Nont said.
"What?"
"You can't do two push-ups. You're not doing a pull-up."
"I can do a pull-up."
"You really can't."
"Watch me."
They went to the pull-up bar area. It was in the corner, near the free weights. Three people were using the bars, all of them doing smooth, controlled pull-ups like it was nothing.
Jaokhun grabbed the bar. He hung there. His arms were already tired from the push-ups.
"Just pull yourself up," Nont said. "Use your back muscles, not just your arms."
"I am using my back muscles."
"You're not."
Jaokhun pulled. His body did not move. He pulled harder. Still nothing.
He started swinging his legs, trying to use momentum. His grip slipped. He fell.
He landed hard on the mat, flat on his back.
"Ow."
"Told you."
Two people nearby looked over. Jaokhun smiled at them. "I'm fine! Just testing the mat quality! Very good mats!"
They looked away.
The elderly ghost on the treadmill had finished his run and was now watching Jaokhun with pity. Actual pity. From a dead person.
Jaokhun stood up, his ego bruised worse than his back. "One more try."
"Please don't."
He grabbed the bar again. This time he really pulled. He made a weird grunting sound. His arms shook. His body lifted maybe two centimeters off the ground.
Then his grip failed. He fell again.
This time he made a loud "oof" sound when he hit the mat.
More people looked over.
"I'm okay!" Jaokhun called out. "Still testing mats! Different falling angles!"
Nont was trying not to laugh. "Are you done?"
"Maybe."
"Good. Let's go."
They returned to the locker room. Jaokhun sat on the bench, his whole body aching. Nont was barely sweating.
"So," Nont said. "What's the actual fitness requirement?"
"What?"
"You had your phone out. You were checking something specific. What is it?"
Jaokhun pulled out his phone. The photo of the assessment requirements was still on the screen.
Nont looked at it. "Two kilometer run in twelve minutes. Ten pull-ups. Thirty push-ups. What is this?"
"Government fitness standards."
"For data management?"
"It's a comprehensive wellness program. Very modern. They want healthy employees."
"This is not a wellness program. This is an agent test." Nont looked at him. "What kind of government job did you actually get?"
"The normal kind."
"Normal government jobs don't require you to do ten pull-ups."
"This one does."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Policy. Regulations. Someone in HR is very into fitness." Jaokhun stood up. "Can we go? I'm tired."
"You're hiding something."
"I'm not hiding anything. I just have fitness requirements for my job, and I need to meet them in six months, and I can't tell you any more than that because of confidentiality clauses." Jaokhun grabbed his bag. "Are you coming or not?"
Nont followed him out. "You're being weird."
"I'm always weird."
"Weirder than normal."
They returned the day passes at the front desk. The receptionist smiled. "How was your trial? Would you like to discuss membership options?"
"It was great," Jaokhun said. "We need to think about it. Check our budget. We'll be in touch."
"Of course! Take a brochure! We also offer personal training packages if you're interested!"
"Definitely. Thank you."
They left the gym. It was dark outside now. Jaokhun's legs hurt. His arms hurt. His back hurt. Even his ego hurt.
"So," Nont said. "Are you actually going back?"
"Probably not."
"You need to pass the fitness test."
"I'll figure something out. Maybe they'll lower the standards. Or I'll fail and just work in the office. That's fine too."
"The office job pays less, doesn't it?"
Jaokhun didn't answer.
"That's why you're doing this. Money."
"Everything is about money when you have 47 baht."
They walked to the BTS station in silence. A group of spirits was hanging around the entrance, chatting about something. Jaokhun ignored them.
His phone buzzed. A text from Pim.
"You're being super weird about this job. What are you not telling me?"
He typed back: "Nothing. Just adjusting to professional life. Very boring."
"You hate boring. You're definitely hiding something."
"I'm not."
"Whatever. But when you're ready to tell me, I'm here."
He put his phone away.
They got on the BTS. The train was crowded. Living people on their way home from work. Dead people just existing, floating, watching.
Nont leaned against the pole. "You know you're going to have to actually train, right? You can't fake pull-ups."
"I know."
"So what's your plan?"
"I don't have one yet."
"You always have a plan."
"My plan was to get fit in six months. I lasted twenty minutes at the gym before my body gave up. So my plan is bad." Jaokhun looked out the window. "I'll figure something out. I always do."
"Or you'll fail and end up filing papers forever."
"That's also possible."
They got off at their stop. Walked home. Climbed the stairs.
Jaokhun collapsed on his bed fully clothed. His whole body hurt. His arms. His legs. His pride.
He pulled out his phone and looked at the photo again.
10 pull-ups. 30 push-ups. 2km in 12 minutes.
The difference between this list and him actually doing it was 20,000 baht per month.
He closed his eyes.
"This is not going to be easy at all," he said to the ceiling.
The ghost in the corner of his room appeared, floating near the wall. It seemed to nod in agreement.
"Thanks for the support," Jaokhun muttered.
The ghost drifted away.
Jaokhun lay there, too tired to move, too sore to sleep, already dreading tomorrow.
Day two of training. Day one of realizing he might actually be completely screwed.