They kept laughing at my expense, for like twenty fucking minutes.
And when everyone is finally calming the fuck down, JJ has to put is big foot in is even bigger mouth "so you named me after your first boyfriend?"
Kid, are you trying to have me killed? "Oh kid, you know that's also your grandpa's name don't you?"
"No it's not, my grandpa is a Jim"
"No it's not, idiot" JC for the win, my new favorite nephew right there "Jim is short for James, you and dad are the only weirdos who are actually named Jim"
"Hey watch it" I'm not going to comment on how Jee looks on stern daddy mode. Not at all. "But you're both kind of right" he looks at JJ, "your called Jim after grampa, and James after Jay" WHAT??? "But I choose the name, not your mom"
What?! "What?" WHAT!!??!?
JJ takes it in more sullen than ever "so... You wanted me to be called Jay Jay, like some sort of Jay jr?" He looks at me with squinting eyes"are you really banging my dad?"
"Are you??" What???
"Fucking hells, Fel! When would I have the time! I've been with you since we got here!"
"Can you guys hold on your drama for like a minute" JJ huffes just like his mama "this is about me, my whole identity is unraveling" yep, just as dramatic as her.
"Fine..." we're feeling thoroughly admonished.
Jee finally stops cackling "it nothing so serious kid" and he looks at me like... Like what? Fuck, I don't get what's going on...
"You see, oh damn... Ever since I can remember Jay was my best friend, he lived next door, so we were more like brothers than anything else, so stop with the banging jokes cause that's weird my dude" fuck, that's kind of true, right until I ditched him. Fucking stupid younger me. "That's why we're Jee and Jay, you know? We couldn't pronounce well our names, and that stuck" I forgot about that. I really am a shitty shit.
"But you never even mentioned him until yesterday" ouch. Had it coming.
"Yep. As we grew up he turned into a gigantic turd." I can do nothing but nod "he started hanging out with some snobs jackasses and got himself MY girlfriend, so yeah, for a while there I wasn't his biggest fan, but brothers fight, they grow apart, that doesn't mean they stop loving each other" fuck. I'm not going to cry in front of two little kids. Fuck.
"Did he at least apologize?" Stop kicking me when I'm down, damn kid.
"He doesn't need to, specially since he is still a gigantic turd"
"Thanks for that"
"Just stating a fact" he shrugs. "A lot of things happened after that, most of which I know little to nothing, but after high school graduation he just disappeared, nobody new where he was, we tried calling, texting, emailing, nothing" oohh if looks could kill...
"I had everyone blocked" I admit to the table.
CC huffes. Damnit I was hoping to avoid all of this. The night was going too fucking good to last. "After two months of radio silence we went to see his mom" what?! "And she told us that he died"
"That bitch was so full of shit" go CC you tell them girl!! "I really thought that she killed him and buried him under her begonias, so we went to your grandpa to file a missing person report"
"You what??"
"What? You though you could just vanish and nobody was going to care?"
"Yeah" I kind of whisper and her eyes are telling me that she is this close to punch my stupid face "sorry"
"You should be! But you'll have time to grovel later. Keep going honeybums"
"Sure, if you guys can stop interrupting?" It only took her one look "sorry... As I was saying... Your grandpa went to talk to his mom, nothing came out of it, and since he went on official business he couldn't really tell us anything. So we where left wandering where he was for about four years. That's when your mom found him on Facebook"
"We didn't knew where he lived, but we knew he was studying at the Capitol" CC chimes in. I mean... They could have written through there, but I'm not going to point it out "so we took a plane and went to demand some answers."
I did not know that.
"So we went straight to his college, and the first thing we see it's his lordship holding Court"
"There we were, after spending four years worried sick, not knowing if he was dead or alive" oh fuck CC angry is the worst kind of scary "and he was surrounded by a bunch of fans hanging on his every word" it can't have been that bad, can it?
Jee sighs "but he was happy, the happiest that I ever seen him, at least since we were eight" fuck, I'd rather he were angry.
"So I was pissed, your dad was sad, we were both hurting, so we just left. I don't think you even saw us, did you?" I shake my head because there's something stuck in my throat and I can't for the life of me make a sound.
Jee clears his throat "so we spent the rest of the week touristing, by the time we came back home, you were already in the oven, so we decided to name you in his honor"
"After all of that you still named me after him!!"
"Ha! That's exactly what I said! But you have to hear your father's logic, because it's flawless. After I did, it was impossible to disagree"
And we're all waiting for Jee to elaborate "what?"
"OH COME ON!!" Way to go JJ!
And after all this talk Jee is finally looking at me, like a smug bastard "I thought he was going to come back, eventually" he points at me, like that proves something "so what's the best way to shove down his throat all that he has missed? Naming his nephew after him. I thought that will teach him a lesson. And I bet he's really sorry now... Aren't you?"
Fuck you, you fuckin evil genius. So I just nod, because what the fucking fuck. And Fel, that traidor is just drying tears. Since when does he cry so much?
"So... Is your identity still unraveling or are you ok now?"
"mhm nah fine. But why'd you guys never even mentioned him before"
Jeez JJ stop kicking me, kid.
"We didn't want you wondering why he wasn't around, I mean even now we have now idea why he wasn't around"
Fuck fucking fuckity fuckfuckfucjfucjdkdhfh yep I'm banging my head on the table, don't act so surprised. "you maquiavelic evil geniuses" bang "you couldn't just ask like a normal person couldn't you?" bang "You had to make the whole couples monologue and twist the knife didn't you!!!" bang
"So dramatic" really Fel? Really?? "Stop being such a wuss" and there's that fucking eyebrow.
"I'm gonna shave your eyebrows in your sleep" but he is right, I take a deep breath and tell them the cliff notes, cause I'm not in the mood for another monologue, it has nothing to do with the way that my voice is cracking. My voice is not cracking, my voice does NOT crack. I AM A MAN, DAMNIT.
"And it was easier to just hate everything, you know? To block everyone, to start from zero... I... I wasn't really thinking... If it wasn't for Fel I don't think I've could have made it past that first week"
Silence.
"THAT FUCKING ASSWIPE!!" I didn't mention names, but of course she knows it was Q. She gives me a hug "you're not going again for good, right?!"
"No, we'll be coming to visit as much as we can" thanks for that, love of my life, I really can't speak right now, especially not with her chocking me. So I just nod.
"Well that's that" Jee clears his throat "I could really use a drink"
"Yeah, me too. Like, bucket size"