Chapter 9: Advisor? More Like Target Practice
Being the Boss's advisor was… complicated. On the one hand, Tony (Stikk) had access to the inner workings of the WAAAGH!, a front-row seat to the decision-making (or lack thereof) of the Ork leadership. He had more resources at his disposal than he could have ever dreamed of, and the ear of the most powerful Ork in the fortress.
On the other hand, he was a Grot surrounded by bloodthirsty Orks who were constantly vying for the Boss's attention and affection. He was a target, a convenient scapegoat for any failures, and a potential snack if the squig rations ran low.
His first few days as an advisor were a crash course in Ork politics. He quickly learned that the WAAAGH! was less a unified fighting force and more a collection of loosely affiliated gangs, each led by a powerful Nob or Warboss. These gangs were constantly fighting each other for territory, resources, and bragging rights. The Boss kept them in line through a combination of brute force and cunning, but the situation was always volatile.
Tony also learned that the Orks' strategic thinking was… limited. Their plans usually consisted of "find enemy, smash enemy," with little regard for tactics, logistics, or long-term goals. This reckless approach often led to unnecessary casualties and missed opportunities.
This is a disaster waiting to happen, Tony thought, as he listened to the Boss and his advisors debate the merits of attacking a heavily fortified Imperial outpost head-on. They're going to get slaughtered.
He tried to offer a more nuanced approach, suggesting a flanking maneuver or a diversionary attack. But the Orks just laughed at him.
"What do you know about fightin', Stikk?" one of the Nobz sneered. "You're just a runt. You should stick to fixin' things."
The Boss, however, seemed intrigued. "What do you got in mind, Stikk?" he asked, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.
Tony explained his plan, using simple terms and analogies that the Orks could understand. He emphasized the importance of minimizing casualties and maximizing loot.
The Orks listened, their expressions shifting from skepticism to grudging respect. Even Krusha seemed impressed.
"Dat actually sounds… kinda smart," he admitted.
The Boss considered the plan for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, Stikk," he said. "We'll try it your way. But if it doesn't work, you're gonna be da first one in da squig pit."
Tony gulped, but he stood his ground. "It'll work, Boss," he said confidently. "Just trust me."
He spent the next few days coordinating the attack, assigning roles, planning routes, and making sure that everyone knew what they were supposed to do. It was a logistical nightmare, but Tony managed to pull it off.
When the day of the attack arrived, Tony watched anxiously from the sidelines as the Orks launched their assault. The initial diversionary attack went off without a hitch, drawing the Imperial forces away from the main gate. Then, the main force, led by the Boss and Krusha, launched a surprise flanking maneuver, catching the Imperials completely off guard.
The battle was fierce, but the Orks fought with a newfound sense of purpose and coordination. They overwhelmed the Imperial defenses, capturing the outpost with minimal casualties.
The Boss was ecstatic. "You did it, Stikk!" he roared, clapping Tony on the back. "You actually made us smarter! You're da best advisor a Boss could ask for!"
The Orks celebrated their victory, looting the outpost and feasting on captured supplies. Even Krusha gave Tony a grudging nod of approval.
"Maybe you ain't so bad after all, Stikk," he said. "Maybe you're actually a bit of an Ork at heart."
Tony smiled, but he knew that this was just the beginning. He had proven his worth to the Boss, but he still had a long way to go before he could truly transform the WAAAGH!. He needed to find a way to instill a sense of discipline, strategy, and long-term planning. And he needed to do it without alienating the Orks or undermining their inherent Orkiness. It was a daunting task, but Tony Stark, even in a Grot's body, never backed down from a challenge.