Chapter 12: 'Umies at the Gate! (And a Few Other Problems)
Just as Tony was starting to feel like he had a handle on things, the WAAAGH! was hit with a double whammy: a surprise attack from a nearby Imperial Guard regiment, and a devastating squig flu outbreak that decimated their food supply.
The Imperial Guard, armed with lasguns, tanks, and a surprising amount of courage, had been steadily encroaching on the WAAAGH!'s territory. They had launched a series of hit-and-run attacks, disrupting supply lines and harassing outlying settlements.
The Boss, predictably, was furious. "Dese 'umies are gettin' too close!" he roared. "We need to teach 'em a lesson! We're gonna march on dere fortress and krump 'em all!"
But the squig flu outbreak complicated things. The disease, which spread rapidly through the squig pens, killed thousands of squigs, leaving the WAAAGH! on the brink of starvation.
Tony knew that they couldn't afford to launch a full-scale assault on the Imperial fortress without first addressing the food shortage. A hungry WAAAGH! was a weak WAAAGH!, and a weak WAAAGH! was easy prey for the Imperials.
He approached the Boss with a plan. "Boss," he said, "we can't attack da 'umies right now. We need to take care of da squig problem first."
The Boss was skeptical. "But da 'umies are gettin' stronger, Stikk," he said. "If we wait too long, dey'll be too strong to beat!"
"I know, Boss," Tony replied. "But I have a plan. We're gonna use our technology to solve both problems at once."
He proposed a two-pronged approach: first, they would use their existing resources to develop a cure for the squig flu. Second, they would use their ingenuity to create new and more efficient ways of acquiring food.
He gathered his Tinkerz and set to work, using their combined knowledge and skills to tackle the squig flu outbreak. They experimented with different types of fungus, herbs, and even discarded medical supplies, searching for a cure that would be both effective and palatable to the squigs.
Meanwhile, Tony tasked the rest of the Grots with finding new sources of food. He encouraged them to experiment with different types of plants, insects, and even discarded garbage, searching for anything that could be safely consumed by the Orks.
The results were… mixed. The Tinkerz eventually developed a crude but effective cure for the squig flu, but it was incredibly difficult to administer, and it tasted so bad that the squigs actively resisted it. The Grots, meanwhile, discovered a variety of new food sources, but most of them were either poisonous, inedible, or so disgusting that only the most desperate Orks would eat them.
Despite the challenges, Tony and his Grots persevered. They refined their techniques, improved their recipes, and gradually managed to overcome the food shortage.
With the squig flu under control and the food supply stabilized, Tony turned his attention back to the Imperial Guard. He knew that they couldn't afford to launch a conventional assault on the Imperial fortress. They needed to find a way to outsmart the Imperials, to exploit their weaknesses, and to strike a decisive blow that would cripple their forces.
He spent days studying maps of the area, analyzing the Imperials' tactics, and searching for a way to gain an advantage. Finally, he came up with a plan. A daring, audacious, and utterly insane plan that could either save the WAAAGH! or destroy it completely.