This dark empty space I call my own mind. Where I'm tortured endlessly by my own grief. I just can't help to think what if… what if I had done just one thing differently. What if I had been paying more attention to the jealousy Ruby had. What if I had hugged her for just one second longer. Then maybe I could have saved her. Maybe she would be right here with me laughing at my jokes and puns I know aren't funny. Scolding me for working too hard. Dragging me to our
favorite spot by the old willow tree. I know I need to leave this place to stop coming here,but something makes me stay. And the hole in my heart from her passing is starting to swallow me whole. so I distract myself, repeat the words my therapist told me to say when this happened. I am Akiro and it is not my fault Shaylene died. I did not know ruby would do this. And how could I.
How could I possibly fathom the horrifying feeling of holding shaylene in my arms as ruby twists a knife in shaylenes' stomach. Her blood trickled down my hands as I desperately tried to stop the bleeding of four deep stab wounds. As I desperately try to hold on to something that's already gone.
Ring…ring it was my phone.
Someone was calling me, ripping me away from this place shrouded in darkness. I looked
around my room and it was dim, since I hadn't turned on the lights since she had gone. Everything was in place untouched for weeks. Although there was a thin layer of dust settled over a few things. Her picture was still on my bedside table, the picture of us posing at the beach near my house. That was the last picture we were able to take because two days later she was dead. Finally I worked up the strength I needed and answered my phone. It was Niko,
my best friend.
"Hello," I answered.
"Hey how are you doing?" he replied and I could tell he was trying to speak as softly as
possible.
"I'm doing fine I guess" I lie. I know he could hear my lie in my voice." Do you need a distraction"
he asked cautiously. He knew me so well that he always called at the perfect times.
"yeah" I mumble.
"Good, because I have a good idea for that "he said" we should go clubbing,meet me at solar drift at 7:00pm sharp. And wear something nice."
"But-" I started but niko had hung up.
I guess I have to go now or Niko will be angry tomorrow. I checked the time on my baby blue bedside clock, it read 6:30. I needed to get moving,but I didn't want to leave the comfort of my cozy bed.
I eventually dragged myself out of bed and took a look into my closet. The only
decent thing for clubbing was a crop top with a black and white design on it paired with a
matching skirt and fishnet leggings that my nonidentical twin sister left on her last visit. I knew it would fit but it wasn't my style and I wasn't a cross dresser. I checked the time again, this time it read 6:40. There wasn't enough time to worry about that so I'd just have to deal with it for tonight. Though I know I'll never hear the end of it from Niko but tonight I was too tired to care.
I quickly slipped the outfit on and it fit perfectly. I checked myself in the mirror and honestly I didn't look half bad. So I hurried out the door to my car. When I arrived I instantly saw Niko in his flashy gold jacket and black shirt and pants that paired nicely with it. When I walked over to him he just stared and I could feel the heat rush to my face in embarrassment.
"what are you wearing and where did you get it" he asked
"oh,I just borrowed it from Liz" I told him
"you look great" he told me softly and that calmed my tense nerves. Niko is rarely serious, but when he is he means it. So I take his word for it.
" Well come on, what are you waiting for, let's get a drink!"
After an hour and a half I could feel I was drunk. And that's when I saw him. He had long white hair, and somehow familiar emerald green eyes. That's when it hit me that those eyes were almost identical to her eyes. And even in my drunken state it hurt.
"hello-hic" I said
Finding myself walking over to him.
"hello" he relplied to me carefully.
"You're pretty~" I said seeing my girlfriend
"am I" he who I had in my drunken state mistaken as my girlfriend asked amused.
"yeah pretty hot~" I said as he pulled me closer.
"Really~" he asked. He pulled me even closer so close I could feel his warm breath on my lips. He was leaning closer and closer until our lips were touching. He gave me another drink.
"Let's go somewhere more private,shall we?" he asked, leading me away from the crowd and out the main door to his car.