A second ago, i was standing in a whole different space to the one that i was currently in, i was now back to my room, i was standing in my room not setting on my bed as before, my feet felt a bit unsteady, but i soon was able to stand firm, the space i was in before collapsed the moment that my big brother Ryuu disappeared .
A storm of emotions was swirling in my chest, the first gift that my brother gave me was freedom, i was somewhat released from all of my shackles, yet due to the favor he asked i was shackled with being a good son, something that was to me more a blessing than an actual shackle, the shackling effect came from not knowing how will our mother react, will she accept me as her son or will she detest me for being a reminder of the scar my big brother Ryuu left on her .
Was she even alive, will she drive me away, i don't even know a thing about her, how she looked like, do i have even the slightest resemblance to her, what was her name, what was her favorite food, did she have a favorite hobby, was she a warm person or a cold one, does she smile often or maybe frowning all the time, will she allow me to stay by her side, or will she not even want to see me, where she is, how can i rech her, do those guys outside know, will they tell me if i asked, if given the address and the chance to reach her, will the current me want to take that chance and meet her, will she be surprised to see a 1 year old kid standing at her doorstep .
I was longing and wondering about the answers of those questions, my heart was pounding faster today than it ever did, i felt warm all over my body, feelings were really something great, i was now hopeful and expectant to what the future hold for me .
Yeah, that was the second gift my big brother gave me, feelings, i now understood from where the satisfaction i felt before came to be, it was all the work of my big brother superpower magic Fabrication, he even used all the little bit of energy he had left to make its effects permanent on me, fixing my lack of feelings and my inability to express emotions, i was now feeling a rush of emotions and feelings coming at me all at once, overwhelming me completely, but one feeling was more stronger than the others, it was the feeling of loss .
I suddenly felt something watering my cheeks coming from my eyes, those were tears, i was currently silently crying, it was my very first time being in tears, i was sad at the loss of my older brother, one that i have only known for no more than a few minutes, but those few minutes were equaling the wealth of the entire world in worth or even more than that to me .
I was beginning to frown involuntarily, but remembering the huge smile on my brother face as he bid me farewell, i strengthened my heart and decided that even if i still can't smile, i will at least try not to frown, i didn't want to cry, but it was very painful, so i had no control of that matter, i was in tears and unable to stop, something that caught the attention to all the researchers observing me from another room through the surveillance cameras, seeing their expressions and the way they looked at the camera footage for some reason anguished me even more, some emotions that i was never able to convey before came to me all of a sudden .
I wasn't even able to notice when i raised my hand and aimed at each and every camera on the walls and shot them down with Psion Bullets, completely damaging the camera functions without the need to destroy them, by doing so i cut off the only ways for them to keep surveiling me or seeing me crying .
The room was suddenly engulfed in a red light and all the sirens in my room went off and in all of this section of the facility, guards who were guarding day and night in front of my room rushed into the room aiming all their guns which were filled with quite the strong tranquilizers at me nervously .
The man in command of this team of guards after seeing me standing still in my position without an intention to do anything, ordered all of his team members to not open fire and stand down, but as if his yelling didn't reach their ears and it might also be related to the rumors they heard about me from the other teams of guards, but the moment his voice fell on their ears, it triggered some sort of chain reactions, so they all opened fire .
Rows upon rows of tranquilizer bullets were then shot at me without any reservation, i tried to invoke a little bit of magic but found that they activated the Antinte jamming sequence beforehand and were using it to negate my ability to use magic, but that only worked because i was using a tiny amount of Psions, i increased the amount of psions i wanted to invoke magic with and the moment i increased the amount of Psions, the effect of the jamming sequence released from the Antinte on me became null .
A second later i stopped all the tranquilizer shots in tracks using a huge Psion wave imbued with Aggravation form of magic, the shots then lost their velocity and then the more than hundred tranquilizer shots fell to the ground, but i didn't want things to end just like that, no i was angry and need to vent some of my frustration and anger on someone, i raised my hand up slightly and used Emission form of magic to allow the tranquilizer shots to rise as if in sync with my hand movements, i then imbued the Eidos of the tranquillizers with Acceleration form of magic then the tranquilizer flew in the direction of the guards, pinning them all to the wall, but not one shots pierced their bodies, they were hanged at the wall like a stickers, their bodies were shaking in fright, but i paid them no mind .
I was finally beginning to get the hang of how to use systematic modern day magic which was quite fun to use, but i was troubled by it being forced on me by the circumstances, if i had used my other magic it could have ended very badly for all those guys, i wanted to vent, but i still didn't want to cause a huge and irreversible damage to them, if i had used my magic i would have killed all of them right from the start and without much effort, but the consequences of doing that were quite unimaginable .
I went to my small office and took a paper from the drawer while still trying my best to hold back my tears, but it wasn't working .
I took the crayons that was put on the desk and began writing something on the piece of paper with crayons, it was my first time writing or using pens, but my hands were quite steady and my my handwriting was quite good, i then finished writing and got up from the small chair under me and began to walk in the direction of the still stunned Team leader and handed him the paper, then motioned for him to go out and deliver it .
He was first flinching at me advancing towards him, but he gritted his teeth and calmed down, but his body seemed to not be listening to him, every time i took a step forward, he took one backward, this continued for more than dozen steps until he finally wasn't able to take any more steps backward, since he reached the wall .
He stood there and his legs finally gave out and he sat on the floor of the room with eyes full of despair, i handed him the paper and motioned for him to go out with my hands pointing at him and the door, he looked at me in bewilderment for a few seconds as if he didn't understand what was i doing, then after realizing that he could now get out of here, he blinked a few times, bowed in my direction and hurriedly scrammed to leave .
I looked at the guys still hanged from their suits on the wall and so they all tried to avoid any eye contact with me, i then chose a corner and put my head on my knees and continued my crying, i wasn't able to stop my tears from overflowing, so i just decided to wait for my crying to stop on its own .
The guys hanged in the wall flinched every time they heard me crying, due to me using a lot of Psions to negate the Antinte from affecting me, i ended up using a lot of magic power in reforming the Eidos, forcing the effects of my spell forms to keep acting on the shots for quite an elongated period of time, i can dispel it with ease, but i wasn't interested in doing so in the moment, meaning that until either the magic power deplete or i dispel the spells acting on the Eidos of the shots, they will stay hanging on the wall of my room for quite some time .
I was still engrossed in trying to calm my unsettled heart and trying to understand the new different sets of feelings and emotions that i recently discovered that i have thanks to my older brother .
The information pre installed in my brain, finally came to work, i was able to organize my raging feelings and emotions down after a few minutes, thankfully .
I suddenly raised my head up and looked at the desk, no it was more accurate to say that i was looking at a portrait on the said desk, one that have a picture of me and Morinaga-san, she was smiling sweetly and i was expressionless as always .
I found that in addition to the feeling of sadness due to the loss of my older brother, i was also began to have another feeling that was less in intensity than the other feeling, but it was there, that feeling was me missing Morinaga-san, she would have comforted me and helped me out, but sadly she wasn't here, all i have of her was memories and that picture .
My crying become more intense, but my stern face made me appeared to make me quite weird, it took a lot of time, one hour exactly before i finally calmed down, there was no sign of anyone coming through the still opened door, i looked around with my superpower and saw that the doctor was heading this way followed by the team leader from before heading in my way .
Seconds later, the doctor appeared on the room and he was surprised at the scene of the guards hanged on the wall, but soon turned his gaze towards me, he pointed at the paper in his hand and i nodded my head as in declaring that it was indeed written by me .
He then took a deep breath, before saying :
Number 40, what had happened to you ? .
I once again pointed at the paper in his hand, he grimaced a bit and said with a grave tone :
I already read it quite a few times, but i still want to hear why you wanted this .
My eyes seemed to sunk a little as if to indicate that his inquiry angered me a little, he was surprised at first at the sight in front of him, then he shuddered a bit and nodded and said :
I don't say that i refuse the terms you set, but i was just worried that something bad might have happened to you or something, but since you're fine, i think that i was the one overthinking, okay, i will agree to the terms you set, but you need to be obedient from now on, stunts like the one you just pulled, can't happen again okay ? .
I nodded my hand weakly and stood up and used Diffusion to dispel the spells acting on the shots, the guards collapsed instantly to the ground, i went back to my bed, without giving the doctor or the other guy a second glance, i curled up on the bed and i want to know how i sleep and what kind of feelings will i woke up with .
The doctor looked at piercingly and then he too left and the door of my room closed automatically soon after .
Something that i was able to notice, was that even though i felt like have spent minutes or even hours in the subconscious conversing with my big brother, the time i came back from there to the reality, 1 second was actually all the time that had passed .
I closed my eyes thinking that was indeed something awesome, even though i was asleep a second ago, i found that i was able to fell asleep almost instantly without any kind of discomfort .
The terms that i mentioned in the paper were the terms i proposed for them to have my cooperation, an hour before i sleep and as long as i was asleep and an hour after waking up, in these periods of time the surveillance cameras would be turned off, i also wanted the Antinte installed in walls of the room to be removed, i wanted to be the one deciding my three course meals from now on, the last term was me just wanting to taste different kinds of food, now that i have the ability to discern what i liked and what i didn't, those were all the terms that i put in that piece of paper and luckily he approved .
I fell asleep and thought about everything that i came to learn through the last year and what happened a second ago with my older brother, then i began to wonder what will my life from now on be like, then directly shut off my relentless mind and slept soundly .
A few hours later, i woke up and so that a new surveillance cameras were already installed while i was asleep and they were now still turned off, meaning that the doctor intended to honor his words .
I woke up crying, i had a nightmare for the first time, one that made me to clenching my heart, a woman with purple eyes like mine but a little bit dimmer and more normal shaped was walking next to me holding my hand, then suddenly she let go of my hand and continued to go forward on his own, me no matter how hard i tried to call for her to wait for me, she didn't even turned her back and continued to widen the distance between us more and more, until she completely disappeared in the fog, leaving my outstretching my hand and catching nothing but the air, then i woke up and found that i was crying while feeling sad and a bit annoyed .
Feelings weren't sweet as i imagined, most of the feelings i had to this day was more inclined to bitterness .
I hope that will change soon too .