I don't know if you'll ever read this,
maybe you've already erased the app,
maybe you've already erased me.
But tonight, the silence feels heavier than usual, and writing is the only way to stop my chest from shaking.
It feels like you disappeared,
quietly, gently, without a trace.
And yet, your absence is the loudest thing in my world.
I still find myself wondering if you're awake somewhere, if you're laughing with someone new, if you're okay.
God, I hope you are.
Do you still think of me the way i still think of you? Because you live in the smallest corners of my day,
in the morning light that hits my face,
in the music i can't listen to anymore,
in every quiet moment that feels like waiting.
It's strange, isn't it?
How someone can stay in your heart longer
than they ever stayed in your life.
We only had a short time,
but in those days, I felt something i hadn't felt in years.
You made me forget how guarded i was,
how much i hated the idea of love.
You became the soft exception
to the armor i built.
Every call, every laugh, every "good night",
you made it all feel safe again.
You taught me how warmth sounds in a voice, how comfort feels in silence.
You made me used to being seen,
and now i don't know how to unsee the version of me that existed only when i was with you.
I'm not angry.
Not even hurt in the way i thought i'd be.
Just quietly broken,
in a way that only missing can do.
Because you didn't just leave,
you took the part of me that finally believed
it was okay to try again.
I told myself i'd never care this much for anyone.
I told myself i'd never let anyone make me soft again.
But then you came and for a moment,
I forgot i was ever a man-hater.
You made me gentle.
You made me human again.
Maybe this is my punishment,
to miss someone who might never come back, to love without the assurance of being loved in return.
But still, I hope you find peace,
and i hope, somewhere in that peace,
you remember me.
If you ever read this,
know that i never wanted to fix you.
I just wanted to stay long enough
for you to see that you were already enough.
You were the calm after my storms,
and maybe, just maybe,
that's why losing you feels like losing the sun
after finally learning how to love the morning.