Never in my life did i think i'd cry because i missed someone.
Not me, not the girl who swore she'd never need anyone,
not the one who built walls high enough that no one could climb.
But today, while typing at my desk,
a single tear just slipped down my cheek.
I wasn't even thinking of you consciously,
and yet there you were,
quietly living in the spaces between my thoughts.
It happened so suddenly.
One moment, I was focused on work,
and the next, my chest felt heavy,
my throat tight,
like a memory was trying to remind me
that i once allowed someone in.
I paused, wiped my face, and whispered,
"What's happening to me?"
Because i don't cry over people.
I don't fall easily.
I don't miss like this.
But here i am,
missing you in ways i don't understand.
Not the way people miss convenience or routine, but something deeper, quieter,
like missing a part of myself that i didn't know i could lose.
It's confusing, really.
Because i've always loved myself more than anyone.
I've always chosen me.
I've always known when to walk away.
But you,
you made me forget the rules i wrote for my own survival.
You made me soft in a world that taught me to be stone.
And maybe that's why it hurts this much.
Because i wasn't supposed to feel like this.
I wasn't supposed to care this much.
You weren't supposed to mean this much.
I keep telling myself it's just a phase,
that i'm only missing the comfort, the voice,
the feeling of being seen.
But deep down, I know it's more than that.
It's the connection i never asked for
but found myself holding onto anyway.
Maybe i do know how to love after all.
Maybe i'm just scared to admit it
because loving you means accepting
that sometimes love doesn't stay.
So tonight, I'll let the tears fall quietly,
no shame, no anger, just truth.
Because even if this feeling breaks me for a while,
at least i know i'm capable of something real.
And that, somehow,
feels like both the tragedy and the miracle of you.