Chapter 27: Overdoing the Return
In a vast, desolate Gobi Desert, a raptor was speeding down the road. It was Sherlock, who had originally planned a self-driving cross-country adventure, but at this moment, Sherlock's expression was not the initial excitement he had shown.
As for the reason, it was simple: what was originally planned as a solo spiritual journey had been forcibly turned into a trip for two.
A trip is a trip, but look at the legendary Iron Man, Tony Shi Da Ke, in the passenger seat. This guy actually wore his armor for the trip!
Two full days had passed since Tony stopped him at his shop's entrance, and dear Uncle Tony had been sitting in his passenger seat in his armor for two full days.
Sherlock looked at Tony, who was using the projection inside his armor to handle corporate affairs, with a look of utter incomprehension. Finally, Sherlock couldn't help but complain.
"I say, dear Uncle Tony, if you can't let go of work, why don't you go back? Lying at home watching U.S. Dad Search shows, drinking some iced cola, isn't that much better than sitting in my passenger seat in your armor right now?"
Tony was momentarily stunned by Sherlock's complaint. He then opened the faceplate of his armor with a huff, gave Sherlock a big eye-roll, and said,
"My dear nephew, you're the one who insisted on this self-driving cross-country experience. I don't object to you traveling. I even suggested taking a plane, but you refused.
Then I settled for a motorhome, so we could even watch U.S. Dad Search shows together at night, but you refused that too. Now, here I am, a billionaire, sitting in the passenger seat of your beat-up pickup, and what else are you dissatisfied with?"
Listening to Tony, Sherlock truly had a mouthful of old complaints that he couldn't hold back. Enduring it only made him angrier, and stepping back only caused him more frustration. Sherlock could no longer tolerate Tony.
"Tony Shi Da Ke! Do you even know what self-driving cross-country means?! Look at that motorhome you suggested! Can that even be called a motorhome? Have you ever seen a motorhome with eighteen wheels that's also bomb-proof?
And also, we're out traveling, why do you have to wear your armor? Damn it, I don't even dare to take you into town!
Damn it, I just wanted to experience the local customs in town, but I was personally welcomed by the mayor! Damn it, for a moment there, I didn't even know if I was here to travel or accompanying you on an investment tour.
And most importantly, it's been two whole days! I haven't seen you take off your armor, damn it. Don't you need to go to the bathroom? In this hot weather, aren't you hot?
What kind of normal person goes on a self-driving trip wearing armor?!"
Sherlock ranted intensely like a machine gun. Sherlock has a 'damn it' that he absolutely must say, and not only must he say it, but he must say it to his face!
However, Tony clearly didn't care about Sherlock's complaints. Instead, he stroked his chin, thought for a while, and then said,
"Hmm, you make a very good point. I really should develop a more portable suit. The current armor feels a bit inconvenient. Jarvis, record this idea. I'll start researching it when I get back.
As for your question about going to the bathroom, as a genius, I already thought of this when I designed the armor!"
With that, Tony pointed to the crotch area of his Iron Man armor and continued,
"From the very beginning of the design, I considered long-term combat. This part can be folded up for my convenience, and because extreme environments need to be considered, my armor also has a purification device inside. If I really can't hold it, I can directly resolve it within the armor.
The armor can automatically filter it into pure water for drinking. And thanks to your miraculous magic potion, my methods for solving problems can also become diverse."
With that, Tony no longer hesitated. He placed his hands on both sides of his pelvis and gently pulled, making a 'pop' sound, just like a Lego brick being pulled apart. Tony directly took his hip bone off his body.
The most amazing thing was that the hip bone Tony held in his hand was still wearing the Iron Man armor, and even after the hip bone was removed, Tony did not lose support and slump in the chair.
Instead, he remained as usual, as if after taking off his hip bone, there was still an invisible object supporting Tony's body, and even all the functions of the armor remained intact.
Sherlock's eyebrows twitched. He finally understood what the phrase constantly displayed above Tony's head meant.
'Attribute: Puppet Life'
'Attribute Effect: The user will transform into an extremely realistic puppet.'
'Time: 00:10:08'
So, 'Puppet Life' meant turning into something like a Lego figure, right?
But the next second, Sherlock felt his blood pressure shoot up.
Tony, without a care, opened the car window, held his hip bone with both hands, and extended it out the window. The next second, Tony's face showed an expression of comfort.
Sherlock watched this scene and felt his blood pressure rising. He slammed on the brakes, slowing down, and roared at Tony,
"Tony Shi Da Ke! If you dare to pee in my car, I'm not done with you!!!"
Tony seemed not to hear Sherlock's threat. Outside the window was the uninhabited Gobi Desert, and Tony was not afraid of his actions being seen.
After a while, Tony brought his hip bone back in from outside the window, gently pressed it back into its original place, and with a crisp 'pop' sound,
Tony's hip bone returned to its position. There wasn't even a single seam visible on the armor, as if Tony taking off his hip bone just now was an illusion.
Sherlock wished it was an illusion. Tony's actions over the past two days had thoroughly shattered all of Sherlock's preconceptions about Iron Man from before his transmigration.
At this moment, Sherlock felt like he was about to suffer from high blood pressure. If possible, the one thing Sherlock wanted to do most right now was undoubtedly to give his dear uncle a good beating.
Give me back the Iron Man I saw in the movies, hey!!!
Unlike Sherlock, whose illusions were shattered and who felt utterly listless, Tony himself didn't feel there was anything inappropriate about his behavior. He nonchalantly watched the attribute countdown nearing its end.
As the countdown ended, a tube extended from Tony's armor. Tony bit onto the tube without hesitation and took a sip.
Watching Tony drink the magic potion, Sherlock's frown deepened. After much thought, he said to Tony,
"Tony, magic potions aren't omnipotent! Antidotes can't always help you. You know, magic potions are still medicine, and medicine will have drug resistance. If you keep drinking like this, the antidote's effect on you will become weaker and weaker.
Honestly, you have time to waste with me here, you might as well go home and research new armor or new elements."
Tony merely gave a perfunctory 'hmm' to Sherlock's suggestion and didn't say much more. But the next second, Tony's expression changed drastically, and he said to Sherlock with a serious face,
"Stop the car!!"
Hearing Tony's words, Sherlock quickly slammed on the brakes. After the car stopped, Tony got out without hesitation and closed his armor. Just as Sherlock was still wondering what had happened,
Tony left a message, saying he had something to do and needed to find Pepper, telling Sherlock to go on ahead and he would catch up.
Before Tony left, Sherlock finally saw that the attribute above Tony's head had changed.
'Attribute: Rubber Man Life'
'Attribute Effect: Every thirty minutes, a certain part of the body will enlarge. It changes once every thirty minutes, and the part is random.'
'Attribute Time: 23:59:01'
As if understanding something, Sherlock furiously slammed the steering wheel, then guiltily picked up his phone and called his future aunt, Pepper.