Chapter 21 — Milk (Matches, Mistakes & Missed Signs)
Ted Mosby believed true love came from algorithms.
Barney Stinson believed true love came from cleavage and cocktails.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed true love came from choices — and Ted was terrible at making them.
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The Matchmaking Bombshell
At MacLaren's, Ted burst into the booth, grinning like a madman.
"They found her!" he exclaimed.
"Who?" Robin asked.
"My soulmate. The matchmaking service called. She's perfect — ninety-eight percent compatibility."
Marshall raised his beer. "Dude, that's amazing!"
Ivar raised a brow. "A stranger with numbers attached is not amazing. It's math with lipstick."
Ted waved him off. "You don't get it. This is destiny!"
Barney scoffed. "Correction: this is desperate. And I love it."
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The Lily Secret
While Ted obsessed, Lily pulled Robin aside, whispering. "Don't tell Marshall, but… I got accepted to an art fellowship in San Francisco."
Robin's eyes widened. "Are you going to take it?"
"I don't know," Lily admitted. "It's everything I've wanted. But Marshall…"
Nearby, Ivar caught the edge of their voices, though he didn't say anything. His green eyes flicked toward Lily, calculating.
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The "Perfect Date" Derailed
Ted strutted into the apartment later that night, psyching himself up for his big date.
"This is it, guys. She's The One."
Robin smirked. "You said that about the cupcake girl. And the dermatologist. And the girl with the boat."
Yvonne, perched on the couch with Ivar, added dryly: "And didn't one of them steal your umbrella?"
Ted groaned. "Why does everyone remember my failures?"
"Because you keep repeating them," Ivar said flatly.
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Ted's Choice
At the last second, Ted bailed on meeting his "perfect match," running instead to Robin's apartment.
Of course, Robin wasn't available — she was on a date of her own.
When Ted stumbled back later, dejected, the gang let him have it.
"Dude," Marshall said, "you had destiny on the line!"
Barney shouted, "And you blew it!"
Robin shrugged. "Classic Ted."
Ivar just leaned forward, voice calm but sharp. "You didn't want a match. You wanted validation. There's a difference."
Ted winced. "You make me sound pathetic."
"No," Ivar said. "I make you sound honest. Pathetic is pretending you're fine when you're not."
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The Lily Interlude
After the chaos, Ivar found Lily alone, doodling in her sketchbook.
"You're thinking about leaving," he said.
She froze. "How did you—?"
"I listen," he replied simply. "If you want to go, go. But don't lie to Marshall about it. He deserves the truth."
Lily's eyes filled with tears. "You don't get it. If I tell him, I'll break his heart."
Ivar shook his head. "No. If you hide it, you'll break his trust. That's worse."
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Closing Beat
By the end of the night, Ted was still hopeless, Marshall was still clueless, Lily was still torn, Robin was still bemused, and Barney was still insufferable.
And Ivar? He poured himself a quiet drink at the bar, Yvonne beside him.
"You really enjoy ripping the band-aid off people, don't you?" she asked.
"It hurts less than pretending it's not bleeding," Ivar said.
Yvonne studied him, then smirked. "Remind me never to lie to you."
"Smart choice," Ivar said.