Chapter 3 — Brunch (Parents, Partners & Pancake Pressure)
Ted Mosby believed brunch was about family.
Barney Stinson believed brunch was about mimosas and phone numbers.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed brunch was war disguised with hollandaise.
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The Invitation Disaster
At MacLaren's, Ted waved two envelopes.
"Big idea. Brunch with Robin, her dad, and… my parents. What could go wrong?"
Ivar snorted into his whiskey. "Everything."
Robin groaned. "Ted, my dad barely acknowledges me when it's just us. Add your family, and it's carnage."
Barney grinned. "Carnage? I'm in."
Megan leaned forward. "Wait. You're telling me you're going to put divorced parents, a cold Canadian general, and you in the same room?"
"Yes!" Ted said proudly.
"Disaster tourism," Yvonne muttered. "I like it."
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The Brunch Begins
The table looked like a United Nations summit on the verge of collapse:
Alfred (Ted's dad), hitting on anything that moved.
Alfred's ex-wife (Ted's mom), firing snide comments like missiles.
Robin's dad, all military bark and zero affection.
Ted, sweating bullets trying to hold it together.
And then there was Ivar, Megan at his side, Yvonne across from him. Calm, unreadable, sipping coffee like he was above the battlefield.
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Megan in the Crossfire
Robin's dad turned to Megan. "And you are?"
"Megan Fox," she said with her trademark smile.
He blinked. "Like the actress."
"Exactly like the actress," she quipped.
Ivar smirked. "That's because she is the actress."
The table went silent. Robin's dad scowled. "And this is who you date, Ivar? Hollywood fluff?"
Megan leaned forward, voice cool. "Hollywood, yes. Fluff, no. You'll figure that out if you pay attention."
Robin choked on her mimosa, hiding a grin.
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Yvonne vs. Alfred
Meanwhile, Ted's dad slid next to Yvonne. "So… what do you do, gorgeous?"
Yvonne deadpanned. "Run multi-million-dollar gaming projects. And dodge lines like that."
Alfred laughed awkwardly, retreating. Robin whispered to Ted, "I like her."
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Ivar's Intervention
As tensions boiled, insults flying between parents, Ted flailing with apologies, Robin visibly shrinking under her father's glare — Ivar finally set down his glass with a sharp clink.
"Enough," he said quietly, but the word cut the noise.
"All of you," Ivar continued, voice calm but edged with steel, "care more about winning arguments than respecting the people sitting in front of you. That's pathetic. You want to eat? Eat. You want to fight? Leave."
The silence was deafening. Even Robin's father leaned back, frowning but shutting up.
Megan touched Ivar's arm, whispering: "You know, for a guy who says he hates drama, you're good at running it."
"Correction," Yvonne added dryly. "He's good at ending it."
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Closing Beat
Brunch ended in shambles, but with one undeniable truth:
Ted's family was insane.
Robin's dad was impossible.
Megan had steel beneath the celebrity shine.
Yvonne could parry creeps like a pro.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He could tame a battlefield with a single word.
As they left, Barney sighed dreamily. "That… was the sexiest brunch I've ever seen."
Robin rolled her eyes. "You need therapy."
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End of Chapter 3.
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👉 Next is Chapter 4 ("Ted Mosby: Architect") — Ted tries to use his job title to impress women. Do you want me to flip that into Ivar pulling strings at Ted's firm (forcing them to give Ted his first big solo project), while Megan and Yvonne roast him for bragging?