Chapter 2 — The Scorpion and the Toad (Rebounds, Realities & Respawns)
Ted Mosby believed rebounds were healing.
Barney Stinson believed rebounds were currency.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed rebounds were self-inflicted wounds disguised as band-aids.
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Marshall's Rebound Attempt
MacLaren's, late evening.
Marshall dragged his feet into the booth, Barney close behind with a wolfish grin.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Barney declared, "I present to you: single Marshall. Ready to conquer the jungle!"
Ted frowned. "Are you sure you're ready?"
"I have to be," Marshall said miserably. "Lily's gone. What else am I supposed to do?"
Barney clapped him on the back. "Exactly! Forget feelings. It's all about the hunt."
Ivar swirled his whiskey. "No. You're not ready. A man who still smells like heartbreak is just bait for someone else's damage."
Barney rolled his eyes. "Ignore him, Marshall. He thinks everything is a war zone."
"Because it is," Ivar said flatly.
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Megan Steps In
As Marshall stumbled through awkward small talk with a girl at the bar, Megan leaned toward Robin.
"Why do you let Barney near him when he's like this?"
Robin smirked. "Because we can't stop Barney."
Megan shook her head, watching Marshall crash and burn. "Pathetic. He's a sweetheart — but this is cruel."
Robin glanced at her brother. "See? She's already more reasonable than you."
"Correction," Ivar said smoothly. "She's agreeing with me. Which makes her smart."
Megan rolled her eyes but smiled.
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Lily in San Francisco (Cutaway)
Meanwhile, Lily wandered through a San Francisco art studio, brush in hand, but her eyes far away. Every sketch turned into Marshall's face.
She whispered to herself: "What have I done?"
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Ivar & Yvonne — The Gaming Spark
Back in New York, Ivar slipped out of the bar and into a late-night meeting at Northern Star HQ. Yvonne was waiting, laptop open, slides glowing on the screen.
"Gaming sector pitch," she said. "You wanted prototypes."
Ivar leaned over her shoulder, scanning.
"Affordable, high-performance rigs. Open architecture for mods. Cloud integration."
She glanced at him. "So? Do we greenlight it?"
Ivar's green eyes gleamed. "Yes. NS Gaming launches this quarter. You're in charge."
Yvonne smirked. "I knew I liked working with you."
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Marshall Crashes
Back at MacLaren's, Marshall stumbled back to the booth after being shot down — again.
Barney patted his shoulder. "See? Practice makes perfect!"
Ted grimaced. "He looks like he got hit by a bus."
Megan shook her head. "No. He looks like he got hit by Barney."
Ivar returned, slipping into the booth. "Told you. Rebounds are traps. You want to heal, Marshall? Don't borrow fire from people who are already burning."
Marshall sighed. "Then what do I do?"
"Wait," Ivar said simply.
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Closing Beat
By the end of the night:
Marshall was still heartbroken.
Barney was still delusional.
Ted was still pining for balance.
Robin was still smirking.
Megan had officially cemented herself as the group's voice of reason.
And Yvonne? She'd just become the architect of Northern Star's newest empire.
Ivar lit a cigar on his balcony that night, watching the skyline. "Scorpions sting, toads drown. Better to build something lasting."
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End of Chapter 2.
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👉 Next is Chapter 3 ("Brunch") — the infamous parental brunch disaster. Would you like me to weave Megan into the brunch chaos (meeting Robin & Ivar's father for the first time), or keep her in the background for now and spotlight Yvonne again?