""Ah... now this is a ridiculously dumb idea."
That's what I thought when I woke up in a body I could only describe as incredibly ordinary: short (158cm—far too short), with plain blonde hair and blue eyes, and dressed in nothing but a worn-out red hoodie. I instantly knew I'd been reincarnated, and the final clue was the room itself. There was no bed—I was on the freaking floor with just my pillow, which felt like a fittingly ridiculous end after watching some trashy movie.
I always thought I'd be reincarnated into a fantasy world and become a chosen one, or maybe just a rich guy in another life. But no. Instead, I transmigrated into my own self-insert character, inside my own messy and inconsistent story.
"There's no way I'm reincarnated as my own self-insert character in my own work," I muttered, feeling incredibly weird at my own fate. "I must have overdosed on caffeine, or maybe I accidentally ate rat poison somehow."
I reached out flip phone on table right beside my bed, flip it out and see it was 6.45 AM.
"That quite early" I said while stare at it, while scratch my back, "or late in this owner's life before goes afterlife" I decide to place it back and standing up to see what life outside of my house.
The house was tidy and clean, there no many picture around and probably no flower around as well. I take a look on kitchen at first floor and see it was kinda mess, then look on toilet to discover it was most cleanest out of all room I ever see in this house with exception of that one room. That room was under staircase.
"Weird," I thought to myself, "I wonder what the heck I was thinking when I came up with a secret room."
I saw so much yellow text screaming "DANGER!" on the door. I didn't recall ever writing about a secret room in my "Random Lore" notebook. Still, I decided to pull on the handle.
"...I'm an idiot," I said to myself, instantly forgetting that this kind of room would obviously have a lot of security.
Now what could I possibly do to get inside?
"I'll just kick it."
That was my exact thought. There was no keyhole, no other way in—brute force was the only thing that would work. And it worked wonderfully, at the cost of my precious door, which probably cost a fortune. Still, it felt like a good trade. At least now I could see what kind of nonsense was hidden behind it.
"I think I'm starting to hate my own imagination sometimes," I said with a pained expression, the kind you get from destroying something valuable. I had hoped to find a treasure in my new house or, at the very least, something valuable to sell.
All of that effort was for a laptop sitting on a table. It lit up when I pressed the button for a moment, but the start screen took an agonizingly long time to load.
"I am so screwed, literally and mentally."
I stared at the main screen and decided to open it. I saw a ton of files that the previous owner had saved, but I ignored them all. My main goal was to check the social media of my own fictional world and see what the people in it were up to. But first, I decided to check the forums and see what topics were trending.
NexusForum.com was originally created as a private message board for the students of the Prestigious Nexus Academy. It was the brainchild of the headmistress, a forward-thinking individual who, unlike most traditionalist magic users, embraced the new mix of technology and magic that was slowly transforming their world.
That was before the forum was leaked to the public, attracting global attention from people in countless different countries. The traffic caused by the leak was so immense that it broke the entire server, which took several days to fix. After that, the forum was repurposed from an academy-only board to a public one, but not before everything that could leak student information was deleted. That's the history of this forum to this very day.
"Okay, make a new account and password, pick a really stupid name, and then just see what the content is inside." I muttered the plan to myself.
My fingers carefully tapped the keyboard, and moments later, a confirmation screen appeared, signaling that I had successfully created an account.
The forum's main page was a chaotic list of threads. I scrolled through the titles: "Guys, how do you fix this magic spell?", "I hate the La Lucille noble family because...", "Nexus Academy's test is nonsense, let's...", and "Damn, the Goldwyn noble family is stacked with talent!"
That last one made me pause. The account's owner was clearly a total simp.
But thanks to all those noble family threads I'd been reading, a brilliant idea hit me, and for a moment, I felt genuinely good. My hands were trembling with excitement as I started typing, ready to let it go wild.
"You know what? One of the Goldwyn family members is..."
I didn't care what I was typing about one of my favorite characters. If I could just get a little insult in on the world I created, I'd find comfort in that fact alone. I'd sit back and enjoy the chaos that was about to unfold in that thread before I got banned by a moderator for hate speech.
I typed the final sentence: "—and that's why she was always knocking people over for no reason, because she couldn't stop herself from acting like a tsundere."
"And that was pretty good," I said, cracking my neck after finishing the 600-word essay. I took a moment to double-check that I had posted in the correct section of the forum—I didn't want it deleted for being an unrelated topic. "Let's see if I can get a few hours of reading in before I get banned and have to find another way to familiarize myself with this new world."
I stood up from my chair, deciding to get some fresh air. I had just finished writing a post that was so obviously ragebait, anyone with half a brain could recognize it if they took a moment to analyze my phrasing. At least I could have a bit of fun on the forum before I inevitably got banned and had to figure out a new way to live in this world.
Hopefully, that noblewoman can handle it. Then again, why should I care?