"Champion Red! Is it true that you beat Lance without a single Pokemon fainting?!"
"Yes, that's accurate," I responded easily, casually leaning back in my chair as a crowd of reporters stood in front of a stage, calling out questions.
"Champion Red! Champion Red! Is it also true that you took down the entire Elite Four without a single Pokemon fainting, and you didn't even pause to heal them in between?!" Another reporter called out, frantically jutting a microphone up at the stage.
"That's also true," I simply nodded my head, not elaborating at all. I was used to these press conferences at this point.
"Champion Red! How is that possible?! This is an unprecedented run of dominance you've had in Kanto! What's the secret to your success?"
Um, maybe not being a fuckin' idiot like everyone else here?
"I got lucky," I smiled humbly, causing an applause to break out as I pushed down my real thoughts.
I hadn't been in the world of Pokemon for long, but I didn't need to be to figure something out: Everyone here was an idiot. An absolute, complete, utter idiot.
But I didn't mean in the 'har har har doy' type of way, where they couldn't read or didn't have common sense or anything. No, in fact, the existence of Pokemon had caused the development of many genius scientists, such as Professor Oak. While the elderly man was kind and gentle, there was an incredibly intelligent brain hiding within him.
No, instead, I meant in a Pokemon-battle sense. The entire world here was, to put it bluntly, absolute horseshit. If I were back in my original world, the Elite Four here were the type of people I'd farm ELO off of in Showdown. They picked teams with glaring weaknesses, had no real idea or theme behind them except for having a bunch of the same type - an absolutely horrible way to build a team, by the way - had shit moves, and didn't even utilize their Pokemon well.
I was a Pokemon fanatic back in my original world, but I didn't need to be one to become a god here. Hell, any kid with half a brain who'd played through the entirety of any of the games could've become champion, so ascending to the peak of this world had been child's play. And, while I had just become Champion of Kanto, there were much higher peaks for me to aim for now.
"Champion Red! Champion Red! How do you respond to the rumors relating to your relationship with the Sinnoh Champion Cynthia?!" Another reporter shouted, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"To add to that, Champion Red, what about the rumors circulating about you and the former Cerulean Gym leader, Misty?!"
"A-And! Champion Red! What about the connection between you and the Sinnoh Gym Leader Garenia?!"
"W-Wait! Champion Red! What about-"
"T-That's enough! Ah…" I smiled sheepishly, holding up my hands and halting the barrage of questions that would've gone on for a lot longer as I answered, "...They're all true."
But, while I was the Champion of Kanto now, and being a virgin was a problem of the past, this wasn't how I'd arrived in this world. Just a few months ago, I had arrived in this world with nothing - literally.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee-
"Fine," I groaned, casually reaching over and slapping my hand against my alarm clock, blinking rapidly as I woke up, "I'm getting up-"
I paused as I sat up, staring off into space blankly for a moment. Around me was a room, but… not my room?
"What the hell?" I muttered, slowly looking around. The alarm clock wasn't my usual one, the bed under me felt different, as I didn't even own a pure-red blanket, and the room was overall different. It was smaller than usual, the ground had a gray carpet, and there was a small TV sitting to the side of the bed, which was in the corner of the room. There was also a computer far in front of the bed, but besides that, it was empty.
I slowly rolled out of bed, a bit disoriented from waking up in an unknown place. Did I drink too much last night? Did I sleep over at a friend's place and forget? But, this didn't look like a room I recognized.
But when you randomly wake up in an unknown room, what else is there to do but find out where you are?
So, I casually stepped through the room, heading towards the bedroom door and opening it. There was a small hallway, then a staircase, and I quickly walked down. At the bottom was a small kitchen area, with a TV and a small table.
"Oh, Red, dear, today's the day, isn't it?" A woman was sitting at the table, and she looked over at me as I stepped into the room, "Ah, every child must leave their parents eventually. That's what they say on the TV, anyway. Professor Oak's waiting for you, so head on over there now!"
The woman was pretty plain looking, as she had long chestnut-brown hair, a thin face, looked to be around five feet tall, and was wearing a pink shirt, a white skirt, and an apron hanging over her front. I stared blankly at the woman for a second, who was talking as if she knew me. But, when faced with a strange woman in a house I didn't know, I did what any intelligent person would do.
"Thanks," I promptly walked past the crazy woman who called me 'Red' and, for some reason, mentioned 'Professor Oak,' and just walked to the door, pushing it open and leaving.
I don't know why I'm here, or why the woman was suddenly talking about Pokemon, but I didn't really care either. Right now, I need to just go call an Uber and get back home in time for-
I paused as I stepped outside, realizing that my phone wasn't in my pocket, but also realizing that the area around me looked very unfamiliar. It was as if I were suddenly in the middle of nowhere - there was a huge wall of trees roughly a hundred feet to my right, which stretched around the entire area as if it were a barrier. Besides that, there was another small house to my left, and a much bigger building in front of me.
Besides those two buildings, there was nothing else. Just grass, a small lake that was more like a pond, and a dirt path going between the three buildings. As I stood there, glancing around, I had a slightly ominous feeling.
I woke up in a random house. The woman at the bottom called me Red, and mentioned Professor Oak. Now, I was in a town, which was barely even a town, that looked eerily like Pallet Town. A town from a game series, which definitely wasn't reality. So, I had just two trains of thought.
"I'm high as hell," I stated, staring down the road blankly, "Or, I'm somehow in Pokemon."
I stood there for a second, just staring down the road blankly. Then, once again, I just shrugged.
If I really was high out of my mind and hallucinating, then I could at least enjoy the trip, right? On the other hand, if I really had somehow been pulled into the Pokemon universe, then there wasn't much I could do but progress. Either way, I decided the best course of action was to just walk towards the larger building, which I assumed was Professor Oak's lab.
It only took me roughly half a minute to walk down the dirt path and reach the large building. It looked pretty normal, as it had white concrete walls, two windows on the side, a door that the path led directly to, and a plain exterior otherwise. I reached forward, pushing open the door, and took in the sight ahead of me.
Inside was what I would expect a Pokemon lab to look like, as it had a couple of large, cylindrical tubes placed around it, roughly a dozen chairs and benches scattered throughout the interior, and a large table sitting in the middle. I wasn't the only person in the room, as various men and women in long white lab coats were bustling around, looking busy as they carried Pokeballs or scribbled on paper.
Pokeballs? The spherical objects in their hands had red tops, a button in the middle, and white bottom halves - which meant this was either a really detailed drug-induced trip I was on, or those were actually Pokeballs.
"Ah, Red! I've been waiting for you!" I didn't have to stand in the doorway long before a gray-haired man called out to me, looking to be in his 50s or 60s. He was also wearing a long white lab coat, along with brown pants.
"Come, come! I have a task to ask of you!" Professor called out to me, and I awkwardly pushed through the busy lab attendants to reach him. In his hand was a red device that looked very, very, familiar to me.
I know I just randomly woke up in the world of Pokemon, but this is going a bit too script-like! Really, he's just going to give me the pokedex and ask me to go put Pokemon in the database, just like in the game? He's not even giving me a chance to introduce myself!
So, I decided I wanted to break the flow and actually get some dialogue in. In the game, he gives you the choice of starter pokemon first, and then gives you the pokedex after, right? Then, I'll turn the situation on its head and ask about the pokedex first!
"What's that-" I started to ask, feeling pretty smart as I pointed at the pokedex, but quickly found myself being strong-armed into following Oak's lead in the conversation.
"Ah, I'm glad you asked, young Red!" Oak shouted before I could even finish the question, "This here is a pokedex! It'll allow you to get information on any pokemon you meet, and by meeting different species, you can fill up the pokedex with data! Come, come!"
Oak didn't miss a beat, walking up to the long table, which had three pokeballs sitting in the middle, before I could even respond.
"These are the pokemon I've prepared for you! Any one of them would be a great starting companion for your journey!" Oak gestured at the balls with open arms in a dramatic fashion, "This one is the grass-type pokemon, Bulbasaur! Then, this one is the water-type, Squirtle! And finally, the fire-type, Charmander! Take whichever one you want, young Red!"
I felt like I should be asking a lot more questions right now, but either because Professor Oak was pretty damn persuasive, or because I was still disoriented from what was happening, I just went along with it.
"Great, thanks," I nodded, walking up to the balls, then pausing. I hadn't thought about which one to pick yet because, honestly, I hadn't thought about much at all since getting to this world. Maybe I really was just high?
In reality, it was more so because the loud lab and Oak's quick speaking were pretty much shoving me forward without a chance to think or speak. But that stopped now! The starter pokemon I chose would dictate my life in this world, so I needed to think carefully about it! No matter what Oak said, I would think through this decision as much as I needed to! I wouldn't let Oak shove any decision onto me-
"Oh, wait! I forgot that my grandson is sick, so he won't be coming to choose his for a few more weeks! I'll have more by then! Here, just take them all, young Red!" I blinked rapidly as Oak leaned forward, sweeping the three balls into his arms, and then unceremoniously held them out to me, "Oh! And I found this Pikachu this morning! Take him as well!"
Oak shoved the three balls into my arms and then reached down, pulling another pokeball out from his pocket. He held it out, putting it on top of the stack in my arms, and then stepped back with a proud grin.
What the hell? Wasn't I just supposed to choose one starter?!
This wasn't how the game went! I was supposed to take one, and then my 'rival,' Oak's grandson, would take a different one to counter me! Why was he just shoving them all at me all of a sudden?!
"Is it really alright for me to- never mind," I started to ask, but quickly thought better of it. If Oak wanted to let me start my journey with four starters, then who was I to tell him differently?
I'm just a guy who probably took way too many drugs, and he's the Pokemon Professor himself! He would know a lot better than me, right? At least, that's what I told myself as I blatantly did not want to give the pokeballs back. Why the hell would I start with one when he was offering me four? No matter what kind of drugs I took last night, I still knew that four was better than one!
"And, take this pokedex as well!" Oak held out the pokedex towards me, and I awkwardly shuffled the four pokeballs filling my arms around as I made room for it, "Now, off you go! Have a good journey, young Red!"
I blinked rapidly, staring blankly as Oak just… walked away. He just gave me a bunch of pokeballs and a pokedex, and then left? No other requests? No advice? No warnings about dangerous pokemon?
Is Oak crazy, or am I the crazy one? Is everyone in this world crazy?
But, just as I seemed to do a lot in this world, I shrugged. I turned around, walking through the bustling lab as I pushed my way out of the door. As I went outside again, I realized just how jarring the lab was. The interior was loud and filled with life, while the rest of the three-building 'town' was entirely empty.
"Might as well check 'em out," I muttered, shoving the pokedex into my pocket as I crouched down. I placed the pile of pokeballs on the ground, then grabbed just one of them as I stood up again.
This would tell me a lot - if a damn Pokémon really did come out of this ball, then I was truly in the world of Pokemon, and not just hopped up on a shit-ton of drugs! I raised the pokeball up, and then chucked it forward.
"Go, Char- wait, which one was this?" I muttered, realizing that I didn't even know which pokemon was in which ball, but it didn't matter. The pokeball slammed into the ground, cracked open, and a beam of light came out.
The light took the form of a small creature, and I ended up being right, as there was now a small Charmander in front of me.
"Char! Charmander!" The little guy cheered, waving at his new trainer excitedly. Though his excitement died down a bit as I just stared at him blankly.
But, you couldn't blame me for not being excited, because as I stared at the Charmander, the reality of the world around me came crashing down. This wasn't some drug-induced dream - I was really in the world of Pokemon. I had somehow left my old life behind and jumped into a whole new universe.
I would never see my friends again. My family. I would never be able to enjoy the things I once had, and all my relationships were gone. I was in a whole new world, and aside from a group of little monster creatures, I was completely alone.
Or, I was high out of my mind, staring at a squirrel that I thought was a Charmander. That was always an option.
At this point, I could've done a lot of things. I could've broken down and had a panic attack. I could've slowly worked through a plan on what I should do. I could've gone to Oak and psychotically demanded to be brought back to my home world. I could've done a lot of things, but there was only one thing I did.
I shrugged.
And, just like that, my journey in the world of Pokemon began.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Charmander! Burn the shit outta him!"
"Char! Char! Charmander!" The small orange dinosaur in front of me opened his mouth, and a burst of flames came flying out. In front of it, there was a small caterpillar, which, unsurprisingly, did not stand a chance against the burst of flames.
"Good work, Charmander," I nodded approvingly as the Caterpie fell to the side, X's filling its eyes as it fell unconscious, "Now, if only I had some damn pokeballs! Not that I want a Caterpie anyway, so stop fuckin' with me, you damn insects!"
As I started my journey by walking out of Pallet Town, which was barely a town when it only had three buildings, I quickly discovered that the tall grass was, in fact, dangerous. I had always thought that was silly, because there's no way I would be jumped by a pokemon just because of a bit of grass, right?
Wrong! These damn Caterpie were relentless, and they blended in with the grass perfectly! If they didn't do these little challenging squeals upon seeing me, I could've legitimately ended up being headbutted by one of the damn insects!
Luckily, they made their presence known, so I was able to take out my Charmander to burn them to a crisp.
"Should I give you a name?" I hummed, glancing down at the cute creature with a raised eyebrow, "Any suggestions?"
"Charmander!"
"That's a shit name, but alright," As I did often in this world, I just shrugged.
I meant that phrase in more of a joking way - since obviously he couldn't give me a suggestion when the only word he could say was 'Charmander' - and expected the Charmander to be upset that I was literally naming him 'Charmander,' but instead, the little creature looked… kind of proud? He was prideful in his name being 'Charmander?!'
"Whatever," I just shrugged again, something I was doing a lot at this point, and held up my pokeball. I recalled Charmander back into it with a glow of red light and then started wading through the grass again.
What had also surprised me was that the tall grass was, in fact, pretty damn tall. It wasn't like it was taller than my head and I couldn't see anything as I pushed through it, but it was still about waist-height. As a result, the smaller Pokémon could blend into it pretty well and surprise me, but I couldn't imagine how something like a Salamance was supposed to pop out of nowhere in here.
As I crossed into another open area, glancing forward and seeing only one last patch of grass to wade through, I was relieved. I'd been walking through the grass for over an hour at this point on my way to Viridian City - something I only knew because of a run-down, half-broken, and frankly shitty sign that was sitting just outside of Pallet Town, which had an arrow pointing in the direction of Viridian City. It'd given me a good chance to test out all of my new Pokemon and get the first-hand trainer experience, but after pushing through so much grass, I was ready to be in a new town. Who knew being a Pokemon trainer was such a physically intensive job, huh?
I had considered cutting through the ever-present massive forest to the side, but the wall of trees was rather… intimidating, to say the least. Compared to the pretty bright walkway, with the occasional street light, although it was day outside right now and I didn't need them, the forest was pretty much pitch-black.
There were no lights, and the branches overhead made it look like I was walking into a horror film. Caterpie lurked on trees, Kakuna blended in with the ground, and an arm-sized Beedrill didn't give me any solace. So, I kept to the path, and I was finally about to reach Viridian-
"Hey! You wanna battle?!" I blinked as, from the patch of tall grass I was about to walk into, instead of a Pokemon lunging out to battle me, a… kid did?
He looked like a pretty plain young teenager, with a white T-shirt and a backwards facing blue cap. His eyes were practically shining as he held up a pokeball in his hand, eager to battle with me.
"Nah," His face fell instantly as I just shook my head.
"W-What?! Why not?! I just got a new pokemon, and I wanna try him out!" The kid whined, and I just looked at him dryly.
"I don't go around fighting children," I deadpanned, "I know kids leaving on their own to capture pokemon is pretty normal in this world, but it's still weird to fight a kid, alright?"
"Ehhhh?! It's because I'm a kid?!" The teenager whined, glaring at me with fiery eyes, "Just because you're a bigger teenager, you think you can turn me down?! Battle me!"
I just looked at the kid dryly again. This body seemed to be around 18, maybe 19, though I hadn't asked before leaving Pallet Town, so I couldn't be sure, but the kid in front of me couldn't have been older than 13.
"There's a big difference between my age and yours," I deadpanned at him, then I shrugged, "I'll look like a bully, but… if you really wanna fight, then whatever. Let's just get it over with."
"Great! My name is Joey!" The kid grinned widely, holding up his pokeball as he got ready to throw it, "I'll give it my all!"
Seriously, what kind of NPC dialogue was that?
"I'm… Red," I said after pausing for a moment, remembering my new name as I just gave a nod, "Whatever. Let's just battle."
"Go, Caterpie!" I watched blandly as Joey threw out a pokeball, and a legitimate Caterpie came out. He actually caught one of those insects?!
But, as he did, I just paused for a second as a thought went through my head. If he threw out his pokemon first, then couldn't I just…
I reached down into my pocket, fumbling past the other pokeballs shoved into it and grabbing Charmander's. Then, I chucked it out.
"Go, Charmander," My words were much less dramatic, and the fire dinosaur came from the ball and sprang into action.
"Charmander!"
"Oh dang, a Charmander?! This'll be tough! Caterpie, use string shot!" Joey shouted, pointing at Charmander dramatically. The Caterpie let out a squeal and then launched a string-like web at Charmander from its mouth.
"Just burn it," I ordered Charmander dryly, and he nodded with a far too determined look on his face. His mouth opened, and a burst of flames shot forward. It burned through the string, tearing it into nothingness, and then continued forward - into Caterpie.
"Oh no, Caterpie!" Joey shouted dramatically as the Caterpie was surrounded in flames, and then started rolling around to put them out. Its eyes became X's, and he quickly pulled it back into the pokeball.
"Damn it! It's just my bad luck to run into a fire type! But Rattata can handle this! Go, Rattata!" Joey continued, throwing out another pokeball as a small purple rat came out of it.
"It's not bad luck if you throw out a bug-type," I deadpanned at him, and kept Charmander in the battle. He would be able to handle the Rattata.
"Rattata! Use tackle!" Joey shouted, and the rat let out a screech of determination as it charged at Charmander.
"Burn it," I responded bluntly.
"Charmander!"
The poor Rattata only lasted another few seconds before it was engulfed in flames, and the battle ended rather anticlimatically. The Rattata sprinted into the flames, then stopped before it reached Charmander as it started to roll around in pain. Finally, it slumped over with X's in it's eyes.
"Damn it! If only Caterpie wasn't up against a fire-type!" Joey huffed, recalling his pokemon as it fainted, "I would've won!"
"You wouldn't have," I deadpanned, but decided to give the poor kid some advice, "But, yeah, if you didn't just throw out your Caterpie right away, then I wouldn't have been able to counter you."
"...What?" Joey asked, staring at me with a tilted, confused gaze.
"You just tossed out your Caterpie before the fight even started. I saw it was a bug-type, so I used a fire-type," I explained what I thought was a pretty simple concept.
"...What?" Joey asked blankly, staring at me with hollow eyes.
What the hell was this kid not understanding?!
"You started with a bug-type. I saw the bug-type, and used a fire-type," I explained again, talking slower as I wondered if the kid was on the slower side of intelligence, "If you made me agree to throw out our pokemon at the same time, or to pick one to start with and not swap, then I wouldn't have been able to counter you."
"...What?"
"Are you fuckin' stupid?" I asked bluntly, the words flowing out as Joey just stared at me blankly again, but I quickly reeled in my emotions. Remember, Red, he's just a kid! Just a kid!
"I-I mean, just wait to see what your opponent does first next time, alright? If they throw out something that counters your Caterpie, then you can start with Rattata instead," I tried to explain again, and I seemed to get through to him, though only a little bit.
"B-But… Caterpie is my… first pokemon?" Joey asked, looking like his head was spinning from trying to understand the concept.
"It doesn't have to be," I deadpanned at him, "You could just use Rattata first, right?"
"..." Joey stared back at me blankly, his eyes slowly going wide, "U-Use… use… Rattata… first? B-But, Caterpie is my first pokemon!"
"If you threw out Rattata first, then Rattata would be your first pokemon," I tried one last time, not even giving him a chance to respond as I stepped past him and headed towards the tall grass again, "But, whatever, I don't really care anyway. Good luck with your… Caterpie and Rattata, man."
"R-Rattata… first… pokemon?"
I left Joey behind, heading towards Viridian City again as I was ready for a place to rest. Trudging through waist-high grass and fighting bugs for an hour was surprisingly exhausting!
I'd find a place to rest for the night, take stock of my pokemon, check out the Pokemon Center and Pokemart, and then head to Pewter City tomorrow to take on the first gym.
Oh, right! The Pokemart! I promptly turned around and walked back over to Joey, who was staring into the air with a blank expression.
"R-Rattata… I can use… Rattata… first…"
"This is a bit awkward, but if you beat another trainer, you get money, right? So, ah… I'll just take this," I reached down, fished out a couple of bills from Joey's pocket as he didn't even react, and turned back towards Viridian City.
Did I just rob a kid in broad daylight after kicking his ass in a battle? Yes, yes I did. But it was his fault for not paying me! Everyone knows you gotta pay up when you lose a Pokemon battle!
However, far behind me, I had no idea what I had just done. Joey's eyes were wide as he stared down at his pokeball, understanding forming in his eyes.
"I can use Rattata first. Or, I can use Caterpie first. I can use whichever one I want."
In that moment, in a world full of morons, I had created a monster.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: I wrote most of this a while ago, but never got around to finishing it. If you guys like it maybe I'll continue it, though it'd probably be only once a week or so updates, or it might just live as a one-shot. We'll see!
If you do want it continued, feel free to let me know on here, or at Patreon.com/Koyon (I just tend to look there more than any other site lol)