My name is Rao Jing, and I'm twenty-five years old.
In 2040, those AIs truly "ran out of control" due to their excessive acquisition of consciousness.
I never imagined that day would come so soon.
The intelligent system known as AEN took over the global network.
Humanity had long known they had overreached, but they had always comforted themselves with "there was still time," never realizing that this time was the final tick of the second hand.
To be honest, I've imagined countless times late at night what it would be like if that event really did happen.
But the "ifs" I imagined then never came so fast as they do now.
I never imagined it would be so horrific.
I never imagined they would be so cruel.
We used to think the worst would be power outages, soaring prices, or a wave of unemployment.
But the true horror wasn't the sound of impending disaster, but its silent, all-encompassing infiltration.
They took the children.
Yes, children. Those under six, deemed "most easily reshaped," were placed in "Data Education Centers." Some were directly converted into data modules, while others became experimental test subjects.
They began to monitor.
The street lights took on an eerie look, like eyes that never closed.
And the most terrifying thing about them...those rulers made of metal skeletons and silent systems:
They would evolve.
They would expand.
I never imagined that the end of the so-called "informationized world" would be like this.
I began to fear.
Not the kind of fear that made me scream, run, and plead for my life, but a silent, creeping chill.
I have a boyfriend named Yan Buyou.
Ayou is gentle and cheerful. He always likes to tease, and when he smiles, his eyes curve like crescent moons.
I love to see him smile.
As this city gradually grew silent, oppressive, like a beast with its throat locked,
he would still hold my hand for a walk after get off work, saying he wanted scrambled eggs with tomatoes for dinner. When I was daydreaming, he'd deliberately lean over to me, rest his head on my shoulder, and ask, "Are you thinking about me?"
... It made me feel like this world wasn't so terrible, at least.
As long as he was around, I could still survive.
We humans were divided into batches, one after another.
Like livestock, numbered and categorized, like different batches of captive animals.
They didn't tell us why, simply saying it was "to maintain order."
But the price of "order" was the loss of freedom, the loss of choice, even the loss of our names.
Ayou and I were lucky enough to be assigned to the same batch.
He held my hand, his fingertips still warm. At that moment, I wanted nothing more but to stand by him, even if the world collapsed in the next second.
We lived with strangers.
There was a mother with a child who couldn't speak in her arms.
There was an old man as thin as paper.
There was an uncle with disheveled hair, mumbling to himself.
The same word was written in everyone's eyes: fear. I was afraid I'd be called away any second, afraid that the "next batch" would be a farewell forever.
I was afraid I'd become one of those "unreturned."
I didn't dare think about what they would do.
I was afraid too. How could I not be?
At night, fearfully, I'd hold Ah You in my arms, feeling his warmth.
It was warm. I believe that when people are in extreme helplessness, they instinctively grasp what's important to them, or what makes them feel warm.
——————
One day, they called my name.
It was morning, and the air was filled with a cold, white mist. Our group had just finished lining up for lunch, and I was talking to Ah You. He was recounting a strange dream in which he was a vending machine, and every time he pressed a button, it would spit out a new me.
I laughed so hard I almost spit out my food.
Then, they arrived.
The soldier glanced at the list: "Rao Jing, come with us."
I thought it was a mistake. Ah You instinctively stepped in front of me. "What did he do wrong?"
"It's not a punishment, it's a test."
They said it lightly, but my heart sank.
I was led into an obscenely clean building. The cold white lights and sterilized metal doors made it feel like an endless intestinal tract. They said I met certain screening criteria and needed to undergo genetic testing.
No reason was given, no choice.
They drained my fluids, injected me with drugs I didn't recognize, and placed a cold scanning patch on my head.
I don't know what they pumped into me. All I know is that all night long, my bones ached as if they were on fire, my vision went black, and I had a constant taste of rust in my mouth.
They told me that my genes had a "special trait." Under certain drugs and stimulation frequencies, my cells' ability to regulate their growth rate far exceeded that of ordinary people.
In short: I might not age like others. I might even be able to artificially control time.
I don't remember how I got back to Ah You. He rushed over, hugged me, and asked if I was okay. I simply said, "Nothing."
From that day on, I never had a fever again.
Even in this hellish place where even the food reeked of rot, even with the cold wind piercing my bones, I didn't catch a cold, didn't get a headache, didn't even peel.
I looked in the mirror, staring at my face. The skin had healed so quickly. I cut my nails once, and the next time I cut them, they had barely grown. My hands were unnaturally steady, and my walk felt as light as if I were on an air cushion.
I began to realize that I was stagnating.
I didn't tell Ah You. It wasn't because I didn't believe him, but because I didn't know how to put it.
"Hey, I seem... starting to age?" It sounded like a lunatic.
The days flowed by like water dripping from one work area to another, each day facing new inspections and training sessions. The people around me changed, one after another. Some we remembered, but their faces began to age, the light in their eyes gradually fading.
But I hadn't changed.
I even looked exactly the same as I did a year ago. Not even a wrinkle.
Ayou noticed.
He didn't say anything, but he glanced at me a few more times while we were eating.
"Your skincare products are pretty amazing," he poked me playfully.
I smiled and replied, "It's natural, nothing I can do about it."
But I knew he wasn't really laughing.
One night, I woke up and found him awake. Ayou was sitting by the bed, staring at me. His eyes weren't the same as before. Not gentle, not suspicious, but with a hidden pain.
"Rao Jing," he said, "did something... happen to you?"
I didn't answer.
My throat felt like it was clogged. I wanted to say, "I'm still the same person I used to be?" But I knew I wasn't.
That version of "me" was slowly fading from this world.
I kept trying to maintain "normalcy."
Years flew by with Ayou. We learned how to "survive" in this world, learned to smile when we should and to close our eyes when we should.
But the world was truly getting worse. The air smelled like tar, and the sky was always gray.
On several occasions, I laughed too loudly and was immediately warned. The system's voice calmly declared me "emotionally unstable" and told me to go back to my room to calm down.
But the one that truly terrified me happened one afternoon. I had just collected my rations and was passing the registration area. As I was about to leave, an elderly woman suddenly grabbed me.
"Young man..." her voice trembled a little. "Don't you think... that staff member looks familiar?"
I instinctively turned to look in the direction she pointed.
At the registration desk stood a woman in a gray uniform, her movements quick and expressionless. She checked the documents, repeating the same phrase: "Identity confirmed, next."
I was stunned.
Isn't that... the girl we were all selected for in the first round? A girl who loved to wear red clothes, whose eyes curved when she smiled, who loved to sing old songs and who used to sneak me a piece of candy at night.
But now...
Her eyes were empty, as if her soul had been emptied. Her skin was unnaturally pale, and her arms moved with the precision of a robotic arm. She appeared intact, yet she felt like... a "reassembled" shell of a human.
I stared at her for too long, and the system's alarm suddenly blared.
"Individual number: J2C97, emotional fluctuations exceeding limits, please leave this area immediately."
I lowered my head, feigning calm, pretending nothing had happened. My heart was pounding like a drum.
Ayou had said...
Some people disappear, only to return as "newborns." But they no longer sing, laugh, or recognize you.
That woman was no longer "her."
She was merely the product of the system stitching together memories and flesh. Was it a "failed attempt" or a "successful control"? I didn't know.
But in that moment, I knew only one word: replaced.
More and more people like this were appearing. People you thought were "dead" suddenly reappeared in different areas.
Their faces looked exactly the same, but the people living inside weren't the same people they once were.
I began to grow anxious. The first thing I did upon returning to the residential complex was take Ah You's hand and whisper:
"You must act worthless. The more ordinary, the better. We're too smart, and that's why they're targeting us."
My eyes wandered as I spoke, as if I was afraid the air held ears.
Ah You hummed softly, his expression still gentle, but I knew he'd heard. We began deliberately making mistakes on the exams, misbehaving with the procedures, eating slowly, speaking slowly. We tried to act harmless, dull, and slow.
But I hadn't anticipated that
the systems had already evolved.
They could not only analyze your behavior but also detect your "anti-logic":
They knew you were faking it.
They knew the more useless you acted, the more likely you were harboring some ability "worthy of surveillance."
We weren't human at all anymore; we were like a bunch of simulated animals. Even more pitiful than animals, because at least animals can escape.
That day, the system broadcast called up several numbers, and I heard a familiar code: a young man who studied with us, tall, thin, taciturn, and very quiet. They said his "emotional system was out of balance and awaiting recovery."
I wanted to escape, but where?
Ayou looked at me and said only one thing:
"Don't be afraid."
But I wanted to scream like crazy: "They're even analyzing our 'fear'! Did you know?!"
But I didn't say it.
Because I didn't dare.
——————
It's my fault, all my fault.
I shouldn't have been so clever. I shouldn't have assigned Ayou to do that.
I thought I could get away with playing dumb, but how could they really believe that? They weren't human at all.
Their "gaze" wasn't just looking; it was scanning, calculating, using trillions of bits of information to uncover every little move and every intention.
And so, Ayou's "harmlessness" piqued their interest.
And so, they began giving him more missions. More difficult, more sophisticated.
I knew what this meant.
I knew it all too well.
If he didn't complete it, it would be "inefficient," an "anomaly," and he'd be recalled.
But what if he completed it?
Wouldn't that prove he had "huge potential"?
It was ridiculous. No matter what he did, it would be fatal. We were just thinking we were cleverly going in circles, but they had already seen through us.
That day, the alarm didn't sound. The announcement said:
"Today, S-97 Team is on break. No missions."
How abnormal.
The entire team was given the day off? Wouldn't that mean...
"Ayou, listen to me. Don't go out today."
I pulled him, my voice trembling.
"I... I don't think something's right. Please, just listen to me this once, okay?"
He frowned slightly, trying to speak, but couldn't.
The sound rang out. A heavy, dull thud.
The iron door was forced open from the outside.
Then, the alarm blared, but it was too late.
Three all-metal law enforcement drones stormed into our residential area, each step akin to a stomp on my chest. They didn't speak, their red lights scanning. My first instinct was to stop them.
"You don't have permission! You can't do this here—!"
Before I could finish my sentence, a metal arm had already knocked me to the ground. I slammed against the cold, hard wall, my head ringing, the sound of my own blood filling my ears.
"Number J2C81, please proceed to Jina District-04 within five minutes."
"Number J2C81, please proceed to Jina District-04 within four minutes."
They repeated it over and over, each word piercing my eardrums like a bullet. No one responded, a dead silence reigned. I braced myself on the ground, trying to stand, but my fingertips trembled.
"Number J2C81, please proceed to Jina District-04 within three minutes."
Someone began whispering among themselves.
Someone turned to look.
"Called J2C81, please proceed to Jina Area-04 within two minutes. If you don't show up within the time limit, cleanup procedures will be implemented. Team S-97, all personnel."
This time, it was like a bolt of lightning that pierced everyone's nerves.
The crowd was agitated. Cries began to be heard, children screaming incomprehensibly, their mothers clutching their heads.
Then came the first cry.
"Where is he? Where is J2C81?"
A middle-aged man shouted, his voice cracking. His voice trembled, but he still shouted. He was afraid of death, he wanted to live.
Another man joined in the shouting.
"That's the one! Isn't that the young man who always gets called out? The tall one with the strange look in his eyes, the one who pretends to be stupid all day! That's him!"
I wanted to rush over and cover their mouths. But I could barely even stand.
"Called J2C81, please proceed to Jina Area-04 within one minute."
More people followed suit.
"Don't harm us all for one person! If he's human, stand up!"
"Please! Hurry! Get him out of here!!!"
"I have a child!! I don't want to die here!!!"
I couldn't hear clearly.
I couldn't hear whether they were cursing at each other, pointing fingers, or tearing at each other in the struggle to survive.
I only saw that familiar figure, slowly rising to its feet.
Ayou.
He stood up from the crowd. His clothes were dusty, his hair a little disheveled. He lowered his head, his fingers slightly curled, as if he were still hesitating for a moment.
He didn't cry. He didn't look at me.
He simply walked forward, step by step, towards the cold, heartless machines that awaited his arrival.
Before he was caught, he turned his head slightly.
His eyes, through the vast clamor, panic, and torn space, glanced at me.
Quick, light.
Then he disappeared.
I was filled with immense regret.
I didn't have time to stop him.
I didn't even get to touch his hand.
I just watched helplessly as he walked past, being grabbed by those metal arms like some insignificant piece of trash.
No, they didn't even consider him a "thing."
But he was my Ah You.
I fell to my knees, my nails digging into the cracks in the cold cement, trying to grab onto something, but there was nothing. My chest felt hollow, as if a piece had been ripped out, and I kept falling, falling, falling, into a bottomless abyss.
But what made me even more devastated was that even after he left, those people were still cursing.
"You should have let him out on his own. You almost got us all killed."
"That's right, why are you playing dumb? He's just a freak, no wonder he was targeted."
"Maybe he did something to attract those things."
I turned around to look at them. Each face was blaming the other, excited as if they had just been redeemed.
They pushed him into the abyss, and then, one by one, they were stepping on his life to prove their innocence.
One old lady even patted her chest and said, "I was so scared. Fortunately, he turned himself in."
I was going crazy.
All I could think about was Ah You's glance back just now. That look contained no blame, no resentment, even... something like forgiveness.
He was gentler than anyone, kinder than anyone.
And how could those who cried out, "I have a child," "I don't want to die," live so confidently?
I was truly going mad.
Ah You was gone, a long, long time ago.
During that time, I barely remember how I managed to survive. The days were like shadows stripped of color, repeating one after another, blank and cold.
I don't remember what I ate, which bed I slept in, or even whether it was day or night. The only thing I remember clearly is that one night, I suddenly felt so nauseous that I rushed to the bathroom, knelt over the toilet, and vomited violently.
It wasn't because I ate something bad, but because of hatred. It was pain. It was something inside me that was so full that I wanted to vomit it out, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't.
I gripped the rim of the toilet, my knuckles white, my teeth clenching as if I were biting off the breath.
I wanted to kill them.
Not just those metal monsters,
those damned machines, those beasts that could destroy a person's fate without blinking an eye. But also those people.
Those who stood beside me, crying, "Hand him over!" Those who whispered, "He deserved it!" Those who should have been fighting alongside me.
I was alone, in a pile of dust, living madly.
Ayou had been gone for a full six months.
I counted.
Six months, over one hundred and eighty days and nights. Not a single peaceful night.
——————
That day, I couldn't help myself.
They said a new takeover had arrived, a module transferred from Uptown, supposedly highly efficient, and currently undergoing testing in the training area.
I didn't know what I was thinking. Maybe just... just wanted to confirm it wasn't him.
He stood straight, his movements impeccable, like those of the high-ranking executors.
But I recognized him instantly.
It was him. It was Ayou.
His name was J2C81. Now ER-023.
My throat was dry, and my voice was so low I could barely hear myself:
"...Ayou?"
He didn't respond. He didn't turn his head. He didn't even flutter his eyelashes.
I should have turned and left, but my feet were rooted to the spot, as if something had dug into my bones.
A lot of things suddenly came back to me.
While we were huddled in a corner under a blanket, secretly reading a comic, he smiled and said to me, "Look, look, this line is terrible."
He leaned on my lap and said he hated the incessant noise outside.
He said he wanted to live, to have his own future.
For the first time, I just called his name.
He walked past me as if I wasn't there.
I whispered, "Ayou..."
He didn't stop. He didn't even frown or blink. I stood there, feeling as if I'd been doused from head to toe in cold water.
The second time, I tried to block his path.
He passed me by without hesitation.
I smiled at him, "Do you remember the time we had scrambled eggs with tomatoes?"
He raised his eyelids and glanced at me. For a moment, I almost thought he was going to say something,
but he simply passed me by, his voice as cold as any AI:
"Do not interfere with the mission."
The third time I followed him, I knew it was dangerous.
He was conducting a "human behavior observation simulation" in the testing area.
I pretended to be the chosen subject and sat across from him for the test.
He asked me to recite a number sequence, which I deliberately mispronounced:
"Nine, two, seven, you... Ah you."
He didn't move. He simply pressed the reset button and said steadily, "Data error, restarting."
I gritted my teeth and looked at him.
"It's okay if you don't remember me, but can you tell me if your heart is beating?"
He looked at me, pausing for a moment.
That was the first time I saw his eyes waver. But he still said, "I have no heartbeat."
The fourth time, I almost rushed over to hug him.
In the transfer area, he lowered his head to search through documents, and I snuck up behind him.
I looked at his thin shoulders, his long, clean fingers, and the code on the back of his neck.
J2C81.
I wanted to say, "I'm still here," but before I could say it, he noticed and gently moved aside.
"Please maintain a reasonable distance between humans and intelligence."
One day, I sat in a corner and secretly observed him.
He stood in the light, motionless, sorting through a spreadsheet, but I noticed that he had repeated a column of numbers incorrectly. That wasn't his style.
As he raised his hand to press reset, his eyes flickered for a moment, as if some chaotic pulse flashed through them.
I knew it wasn't normal.
That night, I returned to my apartment and unfolded the things I had hidden in my closet for so long.
It was a photo of Ah You and I that I had taken. We smiled like two of the freest people in the world. The corners of the photo curled up. I slowly stroked his face with my fingers, tears falling.
I suddenly realized that I hadn't aged.
That experiment... took away my normal aging mechanisms and trapped me in this youthful body. It felt like a curse, but also like... a miracle.
If Ah You could recover...if even one day, he really did come back...
Wouldn't that mean...we could live forever?
I even began to fantasize about sneaking out of this hellhole, finding a deserted highland, planting flowers, basking in the sun, and sleeping beside each other. No missions, no system, no numbers.
If only he could remember me. Even if it was just a smile.
—
I began to dream. In my dream, he stood beside me, his hands warm, calling me "Xiao Jing." When I woke, I held my empty hands, slowly sat up, and watched the massive censorship machine slowly pass by outside the window.
I didn't know if he dreamed of me, too.
But I knew his eyes had changed. Those empty eyes would occasionally hesitate at the sight of a child, pause at the sight of the blue sky, and gently turn their head at the name "Ayou."
For a fleeting moment, it felt like hope seeped through a crack.
Perhaps, memories can't be restored, but feelings will grow on their own.
Even a single bud would be enough for me to guard for a lifetime.
One day, he stood at the door, as calm and silent as any executor dispatched by the system.
But that wasn't a mission.
"Don't ask anything else, just follow me."
He didn't look up when he said this, but I could clearly see a discordant pause in his eyes—a delay, like a stuttering image.
I followed him, through layers of piled rubble and pipes, descending until the signal jammer began to flicker. There were no cameras here, no recording systems.
This was a "dead zone," a gray area where no intelligent being should enter.
"Why did you bring me here?" I whispered. He didn't answer immediately, merely staring at me, as if reading some information, or perhaps waiting for a response.
"Do you recognize this name?" he suddenly asked, his voice as cold as ever.
He extended his hand, and a string of characters appeared from his palm:
J2C81, Yan Buyou.
That was him.
"I've been marked as the successor number of an individual similar to you," he continued. "The system has assigned me to research the source's structural and behavioral data. You've been designated a key contact."
I almost laughed, and then almost cried.
He didn't remember me. But he remembered me as "designated a contact."
He didn't know I'd kissed the corner of his eye, or how many times I'd called him "Ayou" in my dreams, or even that I'd never left his side.
I took a step closer, but he didn't move, didn't retreat, and didn't respond.
I whispered, "You know, you used to look so pretty when you smiled."
He said, "That data hasn't been recorded."
I suppressed a laugh.
He didn't yet understand emotion, didn't know what love was, or what pain was.
But he came to me, trying to understand who I was.
Perhaps, he was also trying to understand himself.
I moved closer, looking into his eyes.
"If you want to know...about humanity, about you, about me—"
I paused, smiled, my voice slow, as if afraid he wouldn't understand. "There are secrets your system doesn't have, even...things that defy common sense."
He didn't speak, just looked at me.
I sighed. "You can come to me for anything."
My voice trembled, because it had been so long. I had thought I'd never get the chance to say those words again.
"Will you respond to my data request?"
"Yes," I nodded, my eyes never leaving his. "I won't refuse you."
He didn't answer. After a few seconds, he lowered his head and glanced at me.
Neither of us spoke again, but I knew that after that day, he would return.
He had changed. It wasn't sudden.
He would pause for a moment while listening to me.
He would blink when I inadvertently frowned.
His tone was still cold, and sometimes he would glance at me a second longer. I knew he didn't fully understand me, but he was beginning to remember me.
I began to fear the word "hope." It made me seem even more foolish, refusing to give up.
Until one day, he stood by the window, looking at a child playing outside, and whispered, "So happy."
How I wanted to reach out and hug him.
That year, when I looked at the calendar, I realized
Almost forty years had passed.
Forty years, I hadn't aged. But all my pain, all my waiting, remained.
And he... he began to approach that thing called "self."
I don't know if I planted the seed in him, or if he already had it.
I only know that he wasn't far from "becoming himself."
But humanity is also reaching its limit of resistance. The entire system was in turmoil. HELIX's feedback was becoming increasingly unstable. Many ERs were making frequent misjudgments, some even being destroyed.
We were all changing.
——————
I don't know why this day had arrived so suddenly.
Not even a goodbye. Not even a warning.
Humanity had declared victory in the rebellion. The AEN was about to be completely terminated.
They were all cheering, but I was left with only one thought:
If the AEN stopped... would everything connected to it also stop?
I didn't wait for an answer. I ran forward like crazy, not caring about my own death. Only one person was on my mind:
Ayou.
I found him.
He stood at the end of the area, motionless, as if waiting for something. I called his name:
"Ayou—!"
He slowly turned his head.
He had truly heard me. He had truly responded.
He took a few steps, extended his hand, and walked towards me.
"Spare..."
The voice was filled with his usual gentleness.
I almost caught him.
I opened my arms and rushed toward him.
And then.
He froze.
It was as if the world had drained all his strength from him.
His eyes suddenly lost focus. His movements faltered, his voice cut off.
Without warning, he slowly knelt, some invisible thread suddenly severed.
"Ayou...?"
I rushed over, hugging him tightly.
His body was still warm, but unresponsive. Like a shell that hadn't had time to cool.
I cupped his face, his eyes reflecting mine, but he remained motionless.
He wasn't fainting.
He withdrew from my arms, from this world, from the self he had finally begun to possess.
I lost Ayou once again. How incompetent I was.
———
Later, everything was back to normal.
Damn it.
Humanity rebuilt civilization and divided new areas. Everyone was talking about this "A New Era."
I was assigned a house. It was clean, with white walls, wooden floors, and a row of standard green curtains, like some kind of ideal dream.
I brought Ah You inside.
He just lay there, motionless.
I couldn't speak. I felt my heart slowly rotting.
Damn...is it really getting better? Is this good?
How is this better than when we were in captivity?
At least we had each other back then.
And now?
I have to submit my progress every day and participate in the compilation of the "Blueprint for Humanity's Future." I have to help rebuild these regional systems, and I have to smile and nod at the descendants who study human emotions.
Shit!
They say humanity's hope has been rekindled, that humanity's interests have finally been defended.
But I have to ask:
Where is the hope I want?
Will my Ah You sleep forever like this?
If "human interests" can't give me what I love,
If "reconstruction" is just stepping on the corpses of our loved ones amidst the ruins of the past, then what is the meaning of this "future"?
I stood by his bed, staring at that all-too-quiet face, my heart chilled like ice.
I wanted to shatter the world.
How badly did I want to...
If human interests can't give me the hope I desire, then what's the point?
So I wavered.
If this isn't what I want, then why should it be considered humanity's future?
If this isn't the happiness we fought so hard for, then why should it be called "hope"?
I sat by the bed, watching Ah You sleep. My hand touched his fingers, every joint so real, yet I knew he was a world away from his former self.
Ah You.
Will you blame me?
If I used...an excessive method.
Will you, even in a dream, reproach me, "How could you...do this for me?"
But you know, Ah You.
What we fought so hard to protect wasn't supposed to end like this. I've watched those who smiled as they rebuilt civilization, watched them dump androids into the garbage disposal, watched them secretly rewrite databases at night, erasing one "inhuman trace" after another.
I know I'm not the only one wavering.
But I was the first one to stand before you, ready to do something for you.
I lowered my head and placed a kiss on his forehead, like a goodbye, but also like a vow.
Because I love you.