The morning fog clung to the abandoned suburban streets like a damp blanket. Shattered windows, overturned cars, and the faint groans of clickers reminded Adam that this world wasn't exactly a spa retreat.
Joel crouched low behind a crumbling fence, rifle aimed down the street. "Quiet," he hissed. "We need to sneak past these raiders."
Adam took a sip of coffee. Environment… tense. Rules… restrictive. Fun… mandatory.
Ellie crouched beside Joel, wide-eyed. "Do you think he… knows what stealth is?"
Joel groaned. "No. And I'm afraid to find out."
Adam winked. "Optional."
---
The first raider patrolled lazily, feet crunching over broken glass. Joel whispered, "Step lightly. Don't make a sound."
Adam nodded solemnly. Then, as if testing the physics of stealth, he tapped a rusted can. It rolled loudly across the street, bouncing off a car, clanging like a bell. The raider froze, looked around, then shrugged and continued.
Ellie suppressed a giggle. Joel's knuckles whitened on his rifle.
First lesson: chaos ≠ failure.
---
Adam spotted a puddle ahead. He crouched dramatically, then dove forward, sliding across it like a curling stone, splashing raider boots. One slipped, fell backward into a dumpster, and yelled curses that echoed down the street.
Joel muttered, "You can't… you're drawing attention!"
Adam hopped up, coat swirling, coffee still intact. "Correct. Attention: inevitable. Entertainment: mandatory."
Ellie grinned. "I like this mission already."
---
They reached a narrow alley, where two raiders had set up a barricade. Joel signaled to wait. Adam, however, crouched, peeked around the corner, and suddenly—
He rolled like a bowling ball down the alley, knocking the first raider into the second, who tumbled into an abandoned vending machine. Snacks and cans rained down like confetti.
Joel groaned, muffling a curse. "He's… he's doing it again."
Ellie was laughing so hard she had to grab Joel's sleeve. "He's amazing!"
Adam hopped up, sipped his coffee, and adjusted his coat. Performance… satisfactory.
---
Next, a clicker lunged from a shadowed doorway. Joel readied his gun, Ellie her knife, but Adam simply stared.
Target… squishy. Potential… hilarious.
He sidestepped gracefully, tripped over a loose pipe, grabbed the clicker mid-fall, and swung it into a wall. The creature collapsed like a poorly stacked set of dominos.
Ellie gasped, then doubled over laughing. "Did… did he just wrestle a clicker like a wrestling match?"
Adam nodded. "Correct."
Joel buried his face in his hands. "I… I don't even…"
---
They finally approached the raider hideout, a two-story building with broken windows and makeshift barricades. Joel whispered a plan. "Ellie, you go left. I go right. Stay silent. We take them down quietly."
Adam listened carefully, nodded… and immediately launched himself through the front window.
The glass shattered, sprinkling snow and dust inside. Two raiders turned toward the noise. Adam executed a perfect spinning heel kick, sending one into a table and the other through a curtain.
Ellie gasped. "You—how—?"
Joel muttered, "You're dead if they see you."
Adam caught a falling chair, swung it like a pendulum, and knocked three more raiders flat. His coffee steamed calmly in the background.
Effectiveness… undeniable. Chaos… maximal.
---
Upstairs, a sniper-raider tried to take aim. Adam leapt, did a somersault midair, and landed directly on the raider's back. With a casual twist, he sent the man crashing into a stack of crates.
Ellie burst out laughing. "He just… jumped on him! Are you even real?!"
Joel scowled, rifle ready. "I've seen a lot… but this—this is ridiculous."
Adam sipped his coffee. "Correct."
---
As they cleared the building, more raiders poured in from the street. Joel fired with precision, Ellie slashed with skill—but Adam? Adam used every object around him: a trash can lid as a frisbee, a plank as a lever, a discarded crowbar to launch raiders into each other like ragdolls.
By the time the last raider fell, they were sprawled across the street in a chaotic sculpture of limbs, debris, and snow. Even the clickers, confused by the noise, had fled.
Ellie clutched her stomach, laughing until tears froze on her cheeks. "I can't—he's like… the apocalypse's circus!"
Joel stared at Adam. "You… somehow just cleared all of them without a scratch. How—?"
Adam twirled, coat flaring, coffee still intact. "Optional."
---
That night, they set up a camp in the ruins of an old church. Ellie was still giggling, recounting the day's antics over and over. Joel quietly nursed a flask, glancing at Adam with suspicion and begrudging respect.
Ellie finally asked, "Adam… why do you do all that stuff? You could just fight like a normal person. Why… all the acrobatics?"
Adam stirred his coffee thoughtfully. Philosophy… optional. Delivery… mandatory.
"Life… is a performance," he said calmly. "Optional: fear. Correct: spectacle."
Ellie blinked, then smiled. "Huh… that actually makes sense."
Joel muttered, "Kid, don't let him convince you to die laughing."
Adam sipped again. Advice… optional.
---
Before they slept, distant groans echoed in the ruins outside. Joel grunted. "We'll need to move before sunrise."
Adam rose, stretching, coat flaring dramatically in the cold wind. Next stage… inevitable. Entertainment… required.
Ellie grinned. "Come on, circus man. Let's see what chaos looks like in the morning."
Joel shook his head. "I swear… I'll survive this apocalypse, but I'm not sure my sanity will."
Adam winked. "Correct."
And as the trio settled for the night, the snow falling softly around them, it was clear: in a world of clickers, raiders, and despair, Adam Thompson had somehow found a way to make survival absurdly entertaining.
---
✅ Chapter 26 Highlights
Adam joins Joel and Ellie on a stealth mission.
Turns raiders, clickers, and snipers into physical comedy props.
Ellie finds him hilarious, Joel is baffled and frustrated.
Adam's philosophy ("Optional. Correct.") gives Ellie unexpected comfort.
Ends with the trio camping in ruins, Adam already planning the next stage of chaos.