"Don't go yet... take the guitar with you."
"Ah! I almost forgot."
"It's not smooth, P'Hia."
"Cheeky."
I shoved my acoustic guitar into the hands of my brother's close friend, shaking my head as I saw him pretend to walk to the beach, with nothing in his hands. He was the one who told me to bring the guitar so we could sit and sing songs together. I went through the trouble of bringing it, but if I'm to carry it for him, we might as well not sing at all. Just leave it in the back of the truck.
Actually, I could hold the guitar for him because, aside from holding my own black shoulder bag, my other hand was free. But when I looked at the smaller person standing beside me, smiling, I realized I couldn't help carry anything to the beach anymore. I had to hold his hand.
"Panlee, is there anything I can help carry?"
"No, it's fine. Just hold my hand, Glai."
Yeah... the puppy meant exactly what he said. I reached out and held his soft hand, then led him around the house to the beach while the others followed behind, carrying their things. My eyes glanced sideways at the person walking beside me, quietly.
I thought he was still shy about what happened on the car. He'd become the mischievous one, but talking less for a while. But I knew how to get the naughty rabbit talking again, so I smiled at the corner of my mouth before speaking.
"Glai... why are you being so cute with P'Pee? Last night, P'Pee called asking for your number, but I told him I didn't have it. Even if I did, I wouldn't give it to him. P'Pee's a big flirt."
My words made the sweet-faced person look up at me. He smiled before replying,
"I'm just acting normal, though."
"P'Pee even said that Pie should take responsibility for him since Pie already wore his 'girlfriend' quota. But I already told him not to use that as an excuse."
"Pie doesn't need to take responsibility for anything," he said, half-laughing. Would the naughty one know that this smile made him a hundred times cuter?
"..."
"Because Pie didn't take the shirts back home. She left a big bag of clothes in my car and asked me to return them to P'Pee."
"..."
I admit, I wasn't interested in P'Pee and Pie's business because, no matter what, P'Pee would never continue a relationship with Pie. I didn't want P'Pee to make Glai sad in the end, so I cut it off early. But the reason I brought it up was that I thought it would help our conversation flow better.
"I forgot to tell you this, Panlee. That day, I had a headache. P'Pee said if Pie didn't take the shirt, he would lock the door and not let her leave the shop. So Pie took it and left it in my car."
"P'Pee told me that too. And I told him that... how dare he make my little rascal and his friend scared."
Actually, I cursed P'Pee a lot, using foul language like we usually do, because of his flirtatious behavior that led to that kind of situation. But when I had to share the story with Glai, I adjusted my words to suit his level of understanding.
"I wasn't scared. P'Pee wasn't scary at all. But I didn't know how to act when those two were arguing..." He paused to laugh before continuing, "They sounded like a couple who've been together for a long time, arguing every day like it was normal."
His story didn't affect my thoughts at all because Glai's sweet smile had me lost in it. I kept staring at his smile, unable to think of how to respond. So, I reluctantly said something, even though I knew it wasn't connected to what he had just shared.
"The shirt that Pie picked up, you don't have to return it, Glai. I'll take care of it myself."
The smaller person raised his eyebrow slightly, tilted his head, and nodded before flashing the same sweet smile.
"Okay~"
Is this what they call being attacked?
"Yeah."
And after being attacked so suddenly, I could only respond like that. I was lost like a dog. Now, the one who usually started conversations like me had made our conversation come to a halt because I didn't know what to say next. Meanwhile, the person beside me seemed comfortable walking side by side in silence. So, I just tightened my grip on his hand. My gaze unconsciously shifted to the naughty one's shorts.
Yeah... I tried to accept it, but I just couldn't.
I admit, I was jealous. The first time I saw him in those shorts, I got so fired up. It wasn't that I was annoyed he wore them, but because seeing him dressed like that made my heart race.
I wanted him to know...
You with that 'Once in a blue moon' brand shirt.
You with the same-colored shorts as mine.
I like you like crazy, Glai.
The main reason I was getting so worked up, about to explode and burn his shorts, was because I kept thinking about how others would see his slim legs. And I imagined they'd feel the same way I did. How many times do I have to say that Glai has an incredible charm? But he probably doesn't know just how charming he is. It's so charming that my friend keeps texting me every day asking,
'Was Khun Glai cute today?'
And because I'm crazy jealous of someone with such strong charm, I always reply with the same message.
'Do you want to die before graduation, you idiot!' I've never been like this before.
Only for you... only for you, GlaiJai
But even though I'm jealous, what can I do...? In the end, I have to consider his feelings. When P'Fah confessed to me that he wouldn't let Saggy Cheek wear a hat because it made him look too cute. P'Fah doesn't want anyone to see his cute person.
I understood exactly how he felt.
But because I didn't want my close friend to feel uncomfortable being controlled, I told P'Fah to be a little less possessive. Looking at him, though, I saw a reflection of myself. We both have possessive tendencies. If I think the chubby cheeks might feel uncomfortable with what P'Fah is doing, then Glai must feel uncomfortable with what I'm doing, too.
Because what P'Fah did with Teerak... I did it to you too
Looking at P'Fah's relationship with Teerak made me realize... we enter someone's life to support them, to let them be themselves and happy, not to control or make them feel small.
I'm just a small part of his life, so he can have his own life too.
But... I must admit once again as a human being that I can't reduce my jealousy right away. Throughout the journey as we travelled together, I thought about burning every pair of shorts in his wardrobe.
But since I am the puppy of Khun GlaiJai, I thought it wouldn't be right to complain to the owner. Because if Glai got tired of the jealous puppy, I might get abandoned...We stopped walking at the beach in front of the one-story cream-colored vacation house, which was a vacation home that Uncle gave to me as my own. In my uncle's resort, there are 15 houses in total, but only 10 of them are available for tourists to stay. The remaining five are kept by Uncle himself—one for him, two for his sons, and one for me and P'Fah each.
I looked at the houses lined up along the path, thinking the only thing that had changed was that Uncle had built a wall separating the house from the beach. Everything else was still the same.
"We're sitting here, right? Then, let's lay down the mat," P'Dom said.
"Wait, Dom. Should we ask Fah first? Just in case there are any guests staying at this house," P'Babe interrupted.
P'Dom, who had just shaken the large cloth, stopped. Other seniors who had brought items to the beach rushed to pick them up when they heard P'Babe's words.
"No need to ask P'Fah, P'Babe. This house is mine. There are no guests staying here," I said.
"Oh... then, let's lay down the mat, Dom," P'Babe replied.
"Okay," P'Dom answered.
"Panlee, let's go help P'Dom and P'Babe lay down the mat," the smaller person said, withdrawing his hand from mine and walking over to help the two of them. I set my bag down on the sand to help as well, but my other hand was pulled back by someone. When I turned around, I realized it was P'Hia.
"What's this, P'Hia? ...Why are you holding Lee's hand?"
The person being asked tightened their grip on my hand, seemingly afraid I would shake it off. He gave me a dry smile before speaking in a whining tone. "Lee, come play in the water with me, please."
"Why does it have to be me?" I asked.
"I asked a lot of people already. No one wanted to play in the water with me," P'Hia replied.
"..."
"I know you're a kind person. You won't reject me," they added.
"You don't know Panlee that well," I said, withdrawing my hand from his grasp before walking over to Khun Glai. The small person, who was sitting on a brightly-colored mat, turned and smiled at me. However, the shouting from behind made me realize...
"Glai... will you come play in the water with me?" P'Hia called out. P'Hia knew me better than I thought.
"Uhm..." I stopped in front of Khun Glai, who was looking up at me. I then turned to P'Hia, who had stopped next to me. He wore an innocent expression and blinked at me, as if he didn't know anything, even though he was using Khun Glai to pressure me into going into the water. I sighed deeply and said, "Alright, I'll go play in the water with you. You go ahead and lead the way."
"Okay~" The senior I wanted to push into the sea responded with a cheerful voice while half-running, half-jumping into the water. I shifted my gaze from P'Hia and turned back to look at the small person sitting on the mat, smiling sweetly.
"Would you like to play in the water with me, Khun Glai?" I asked.
The person being asked shook his head slowly and replied, "I think I'll just sit and rest for now."
"Okay, I'll be back in a bit. I'll go play in the water with P'Hia first."
"Hmm, have fun, Panlee,"
"Yes"
After answering GlaiJai, I walked to the sea. I walked down to the water up to my knees and then stopped. P'Hia, who was almost in the middle of the sea, waved at me nonstop, but I refused to go to him because my phone and cigarette pack were in my pocket. If I went deeper, both would surely get damaged. When P'Hia saw I wasn't coming, he decided to walk over to me instead.
"What's wrong, Panlee? Is this the extent of your water play? You're such a child," P'Hia grumbled.
"Stop complaining. It's enough that I'm here playing with you,"
"Why is my life so pathetic... I want to play in the water, but no one wants to join me," P'Hia said with a sad face.
I sighed when I saw he was pouting and started splashing water at him. "What's the point of complaining? Here, I'm playing with you, even if I'm not fully into it."
"It almost felt nice, Panlee... you jerk, I almost cried from what you said," P'Hia said, but now he was laughing and raising his arms to block his face, acting like a delicate girl being teased by a boy.
As I stopped splashing water at him since he raised his hands to stop me, I glanced over at the beach and saw P'Fah and Teerak walking toward the group sitting in front of my vacation home. I guessed that P'Fah must have stopped to order lunch for us.
Bzzzt~
The phone vibrating in my pocket drew my attention away from everything else. I raised my hand to signal P'Hia to stop splashing water at me and pulled my phone out to check the caller ID.
'Till'
"What?"
[A friend called you, and you spoke rudely. It's not nice at all. Try calling as Khun Glai]
"Are you free, you jerk? You calling just to annoy me?"
[Haha, I'm just calling to remind you... you have to come to my farewell party before I go back to China.]
"Of course, I won't forget, you jerk."
[It's not that I'm worried you'll forget. I'm just worried you'll get attached to someone and won't come. More likely, you know.]
His words made me smile. "Are you worried I'll get attached to GlaiJai?"
[So, are you going to answer or should I?]
"Yeah, I'm attached to GlaiJai," I said.
[Ah, go ahead and do it to the fullest, friend. Brew it yourself, pay for it yourself. My friend is tough enough.]
I smiled again before saying, "Is that all you have to say?"
[Yeah, but don't you want to talk to your friend a little more?]
"..."
[Did you ever think about asking me if I've eaten today? Do you care about your friend at all, asshole?]
"All the care I have, I've given to GlaiJai already. Sorry, I have nothing left for you."
[You really like him that much, huh, little puppy?]
"Slap your mouth, asshole. Only GlaiJai can call me that."
I heard a loud slap from the other end of the line. That made me realize that Till had slapped his own mouth.
[Slapped, asshole... So, are you at the beach now?]
"Yeah."
[Is Khun Glai looking cute today?]
"Do you still want to see me at your farewell party?"
[Chill. I was just asking if your little rascal looks cute. Are you cutting me off as a friend for that?]
"I'm possessive."
While I was talking on the phone, I looked at P' Hia, who was splashing water on himself. When I saw that he had learned how to play on his own, I waved goodbye and walked back to the shore. Even though P' Hia looked confused and a bit disappointed, I was sure he would get used to it and play by himself.
[That night, you told us you liked him. But if you like him more now... just confess your love, man.]
That night when I dropped GlaiJai off after the football game, I went drinking with Till and the others. They kept asking about GlaiJai, so I just told them,
'I like GlaiJai a lot.'
Once they got the answer they wanted, they stopped prying. I didn't go into more detail, but I knew that the fussy ones wouldn't let me go so easily. They were just waiting for the right time for me to open up and tell them everything.
"..."
[Now you're already at the beach together, feeling the right atmosphere, huh? Just confess your love. Trust me.]
"I still can't confess my love."
[Why? ...Are you afraid he won't like you? But from what we saw that day, he seemed proud of you.]
"I'm not afraid of that."
[Then why?]
"I have my own reasons."
[Wait. There's more than just you liking Glai, right?]
"Why are you so fussy?"
[I knew it... There must be a story behind it. You don't fall for anyone easily.]
"You know me too well, asshole."
[Panlee! You're definitely telling us this story at my farewell party.]
"That's enough, you asshole."
[Yeah, say hi to your future wife for me.]
I admit that my feet stopped for a moment because of the word 'future wife from Till. I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket before walking over to the small person who was taking something out of his backpack.
"Did you finish playing in the water, Panlee?"
"Yes."
I sat down in front of Glai. Now, only the two of us were sitting on the mat. I glanced over at P'Fah and Teerak, who had just arrived where we were sitting, and at P' Hia, who had just run back from the sea, teasing the chubby-cheeked one. I shifted my gaze from everyone and looked back at my Khun Glai.
"Panlee, did you put on sunscreen?"
"No, I didn't. I don't like using sunscreen."
"Even if you don't like it, you still have to put it on, Panlee."
"Can I not put it on?"
Since I met Glaijai, I've learned many things. Before, I never had to negotiate with anyone. When I didn't like or didn't want to do something, I wouldn't do it at all. But when it comes to him... If negotiating doesn't work, the result is I give in.
I give in easily, without understanding myself. I've learned that life is more than just liking and disliking. It means we haven't met someone who can make us feel something easily. Doing something you don't like isn't that difficult, and it's not so bad to try everything with him.
"No, no. I can't give in to Panlee on this one."
I laughed and nodded slightly, signalling that I would agree to use the sunscreen he took out of his backpack.
"The puppy will use the sunscreen."
"Good... because it's good for the puppy."
"Khun Glai, can you put the sunscreen on me?"
Khun Glai, who was about to hand the sunscreen to me, stopped and looked at me with a curious expression before smiling and nodding. I sat still while he applied the sunscreen. His slender fingers started applying the white cream on my forehead, then on both cheeks, the tip of my nose, and my chin.
His slanted eyes kept avoiding my gaze. He chose to look at the area where he was spreading the sunscreen instead of making eye contact with me. But it was good that he didn't look at me... because if he did, Glaijai would know I was secretly staring at his lips. The moment the car made a sharp turn and our lips brushed against each other, I meant to...
Yes... I meant to kiss Khun Glai.
The one who drives fast like me, the one who often steals P'Fah's sports car to race with friends, the one whose relative owns a racetrack, the one who's been drifting cars since high school—someone like me couldn't possibly fail to counteract the force of a little centrifugal force. I admit I even increased the force myself.
That's how we ended up kissing. I think if Dad and P'Fah find out about this, they'll lecture me until my ears go numb. I've been taking advantage of GlaiJai, seizing certain moments as our relationship develops—whether it's stroking his head, holding his hand, hugging his waist, or, most recently, kissing him. All these actions go beyond what close friends typically do. I have to admit, I'm no saint like P'Fah. My self-restraint isn't as strong as my brother's, who secretly loved Chubby Cheeks for years but hasn't made any progress.
Meanwhile, I'm already ahead. But one thing I'm certain of, something I have in common with P'Fah, is.. I truly love.
"Panlee..."
"..."
The voice of the person in front of me brought me back to reality. Judging from GlaiJai's expression and the faint blush on his cheeks, I guess he's aware I've been staring at his lips. Meanwhile, some words from Till popped into my head. I can't believe I let Till's words affect me this much. My heart started pounding, and it beat even harder when I saw GlaiJai give a shy little smile.
It was because of that word...
'Future wife'
That single word 'future wife.'
And my heart raced even faster when he finally broke into a full smile, as if he could no longer suppress it. Even though I knew looking into his eyes right now would make me lose my composure, I chose to meet his gaze anyway because I couldn't remember the last time someone made my heart race like this. Right now...
My heart is completely crazy.
"I have done applying sunscreen."
"Oh... okay."
My reply was short, but I wanted our eyes met as long as the vast shoreline. As if the wind was teasing me, it blew someone over to interrupt us. I broke my gaze from GlaiJai and slowly turned to look at the newcomer, who had just sat down near us. P'Hia glanced back and forth between GlaiJai and me before smiling at both of us. His expression was like that of a child left out of a game, which annoyed me to the point of asking him irritably,
"What's up with you, P'Hia?"
"Fah took Teerak to take photos over there..." He exaggeratedly pointed toward 'over there' before continuing, "So now I'm lonely. I have no one to play with."
Can't you see I just want to be with GlaiJai alone? Yeah... I just want to be with my future wife. P'Hia doesn't understand anything.
"You can stay with the two of us, P'Hia."
"Aww... Glai, you're so kind!"
I watched the little one smile warmly at our senior, then sighed at how nothing could erase his kindness. Just seeing P'Hia feeling left out made GlaiJai willing to share our time together with him. Even though I knew he wanted to spend time alone with me as much as I wanted to, he's the kind of person who can't ignore others' feelings. No one can change that—not me, the person he 'likes,' nor anyone else.
No one can change this good-hearted person. And because he's this kind of person, it's no wonder that someone could fall deeply for GlaiJai and never be able to change that either.
"Panlee... sing a song for us."
I nodded slightly, accepting the acoustic guitar P'Hia had somehow fetched without me noticing, then asked, "What song do you want to hear?"
"You choose."
I couldn't decide what song to sing because my mind was filled with my favorite songs, mostly international rock tracks. But at that moment, when I saw something in those eyes—eyes that even the stars couldn't compare to—I knew what song to sing.
It wasn't that his eyes were shimmering more brightly than the stars; it was that GlaiJai's eyes, his smile, and his entire being were something more than all those things. He was beyond comparison. I smiled before strumming the guitar to the melody of a song GlaiJai unknowingly helped me choose.
"Panlee, this song! I really love it."
Yes, this was the song I sang for GlaiJai Borirat. For him alone. I smiled as I locked eyes with the little one waiting for me to sing before starting the first verse.
"I don't know how many flowers you must have grown among to possess a smile this beautiful, making me unable to love anyone else from the moment we met..."
"..."
"My loneliness faded away because I found something worthy. I'm grateful and promise to take care of it..."
"..."
"I don't need anyone else. The stars in the sky should be heartbroken, for nothing can remain beautiful as long as this world has someone like you. And I am the lucky one. When I read the meaning of every word, no line could ever be more beautiful. As long as this world still holds your name, please let me be the last one for you. You are my life and my breath."
"There are countless grains of sand on your skin. When I look into your eyes, I see a glittering rainbow mist. I discover the most beautiful melody when you speak..."
And because I saw GlaiJai's cheeks blush deeply as he listened to the song, I knew he was really shy. Wanting to ease his embarrassment, I stopped singing the next verse and as if handed the 'microphone' to P'Hia, signalling for him to join in. Without hesitation, P'Hia, who had been swaying along to the melody, started singing enthusiastically.
"Ooo... I'm so glad it wasn't just a coincidence or a dream."
GlaiJai burst out laughing when he saw our senior try so hard to sing. Although P'Hia wasn't the best singer, he didn't entirely ruin the mood—unlike someone else who was walking toward us, clearly annoyed by P'Hia's voice.
I stopped playing the guitar as P'Real loomed behind P'Hia. Without warning, he leaned down and shoved P'Hia's head so hard that he almost face-planted onto the colorful picnic mat.
"Real, why'd you push my head?"
"Because you're annoying! Your voice sounds like a buffalo giving birth, yet you still dare to sing!"
"Well, Panlee asked me to help sing."
"If you know you can't handle it, learn to say no. Don't force yourself to sing until it irritates others' ears."
The words from P'Real made GlaiJai laugh. I can't remember if I ever said it before, but he looks incredibly cute when he smiles and laughs. It's as if the whole dark world suddenly becomes bright and vibrant. And because of his smile, it's hard to believe someone like GlaiJai has gone through so much on his own. Because in that smile, there's no flaw, no trace of sorrow, and nothing that suggests past pain.
"Khun Lee..."
The voice of a woman calling out pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to look in the direction of the sound. The resort manager and staff carrying a lot of dishes were waiting for my response.
"Just place them here. We'll sit and eat here soon anyway."
"Yes, yes," P'Hia chimed in.
"Alright... kids, place them here."
Several staff members started placing the dishes on the cloth. GlaiJai immediately stood up to help arrange the dishes, soon joined by the others. I placed the guitar outside the mat and moved to help as well. The food was set in the middle of the mat, and everyone began to sit in a circle around it. I reached out to hold the slender hand of the mischievous one as he was about to move away from me.
"Where are you planning to sit, little rascal?"
"I'll sit next to Panlee, but I want to move a bit further away so you won't feel crowded."
Honestly, I'd love for him to sit on my lap instead. "It's not crowded at all. Stay close to me, and I'll peel shrimp for you."
The little one smiled, moved closer to sit beside me as before, tilted his head, and said, "Are you trying to lure me with shrimp?"
"Does it work?"
"It seems to..." he said, leaning his head towards mine, "Let me scoot over a bit more, Panlee. I forgot we need to leave room for P'Fah and Rak, who are on their way back."
I looked at GlaiJai as he spoke, nodding toward P'Fah and Rak heading our way.
"Alright, you can scoot over a bit more."
"It's fine. this should be enough."
"Shrimp!"
A loud shout caught my attention, and I turned to see P'Hia's sparkling eyes fixed on the big grilled shrimp on the large plate. There was no need to guess who shouted. Judging from the look and tone, he probably wanted to take the entire plate. Since there were only two plates of grilled shrimp, I moved one closer to us. If others want more, we can always order more. But for now, I just want my little rascal to eat to his heart's content.
"Alright, let's start eating. Fah and Rak are here," P'Dom said, signalling everyone to dig in.
I glanced at P'Fah and Rak, who sat down next to GlaiJai, then picked up a big shrimp to peel for him. The little one, perhaps feeling guilty, leaned toward my ear and whispered softly, "You don't have to peel shrimp for me. I can do it myself."
"It's the duty of someone who cares for you, Khun Glai. You can't refuse."
I'm not sure how corny my words were, but that made him scrunch his nose and lightly pinch my cheek. His boldness sent my heart racing. I chuckled and focused on peeling the shrimp for him, a tactical retreat to collect myself.
The first shrimp was placed on his plate. GlaiJai glanced at it briefly, thanked me, and began eating. That's when I truly understood the phrase, 'just seeing him happy makes you happy.' Even if I don't get anything in return, simply doing something for him is enough to fill me with joy.
I started peeling shrimp faster so he wouldn't run out of his favorite food. As I bent my head over the shrimp, I sensed someone eyeing the plate. P'Hia's comment confirmed my suspicion.
"Give me some shrimp, Lee..."
"All the shrimp on this plate already have an owner."
"What? Almost thirty pieces?"
I sighed lightly. P'Hia exaggerated. GlaiJai had already eaten plenty, so there's no way there were still thirty pieces. Not wanting to argue, I replied flatly, "Yeah..."
"Who owns them? Let me settle this."
Hearing that, I turned to look at the little one beside me. GlaiJai looked at me with slight concern. My hands were messy, so I could only pat his head lightly to reassure him while saying,
"Don't worry. P'Hia always teases like this."
"I'm not worried about what P'Hia said. I'm just thinking we should share some shrimp with him."
"Stop whining. I'll order more shrimp..."
Before I could say anything, P'Fah interrupted, making it clear that ordering more shrimp was enough to resolve the situation.
"No need, Fah... I already gave him some of mine," P'Real interjected, handing some shrimp to his friend.
"..."
"Crabs, shrimp... are you a bottomless pit? You eat way too much."
"If it's such a big deal, keep it for yourself, Real."
"Haha!"
Everyone laughed at P'Hia and P'Real's bickering, including GlaiJai, who covered his mouth and laughed until his eyes turned into crescents. My smile wasn't because of the two seniors arguing but because of him.
I glanced at the shrimp left on his plate. I had peeled a good amount for him. GlaiJai sat happily eating shrimp while laughing at the seniors' conversation until someone called out to him.
"Glai... is it good?"
"It's delicious. Want some? I can't finish it all myself."
"Glai, go ahead and eat... I'll wait for P'Fah."
"Okay."
I sat there quietly peeling shrimps, eavesdropping on their conversation between GlaiJai and Teerak. It made me feel as though the world was filled with nothing but love. I couldn't believe that someone as rough as me and someone as hardened as P'Fah could experience such sweetness.
"Lee... peel shrimp for Glai too. Glai loves shrimp."
I turned to look at my close friend, who was craning his neck to glance at me before saying, "The shrimps on his plate... I peeled them all."
"Oh... I thought Glai peeled it himself."
"Panlee peeled it for me..."
Very nice, you little rascal. I teased the chubby-cheeked one back, reminding him that he also had someone peeling shrimp for him. When I saw that Glai had plenty of shrimp on his plate and probably wouldn't eat any more, I stopped peeling and slid the plate of remaining grilled shrimp to share with others. GlaiJai reached into his pocket and handed me a tissue packet.
Who said I was the only one doing things for him? We take care of each other, and I love this feeling so much. After cleaning my hands, I began eating as well. GlaiJai kept serving food from his side to my plate and constantly asked if I wanted anything else.
To be honest, this feeling he gives me...
Nothing can replace it.
And no one can replace GlaiJai.
"Cough, cough."
The sound of P'Babe choking caught my attention, and I looked up from my plate to see her coughing so hard that her face turned red. P'Dom quickly handed her water and patted her back. Once P'Babe seemed better, I turned to the person beside me. Seeing GlaiJai's flushed cheeks immediately made me worry.
"Khun Glai, are you alright?"
The little one lowered his head to look at his plate and shook his head. "N-no, I'm fine."
"But Khun Glai, your face is red..." I furrowed my brows while staring at him. "Even your ears are red."
"I think we need to try this..."
"Try what, Hia?"
Apparently, it wasn't GlaiJai who eased my curiosity but P'Hia, who had walked into the sea, scooped some seawater with his hands, and drank it before returning to his seat. If P'Hia went that far, I guessed something significant had happened earlier. But since I was focused on my food, I missed the event that left many people flustered.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Just trying the seawater to see if the sweetness here can make it taste good."
"You idiot... only you would think of something like that."
"So, how was it? Sweet?"
"Sweet... but now it feels like my kidneys are failing."
"Hahaha."
"What's sweeter, seawater or crab meat?"
"How would I know? I didn't eat the crab. Ask someone who did..."
"So, what do you think, Fah? Was the crab meat sweet?"
"Super sweet."
Now I understood why many people were so flustered. P'Fah must have stepped up his game with the chubby-cheeked one, leaving everyone embarrassed for him. Still, I wanted to know what exactly P'Fah did. In the end, I turned to GlaiJai to ease my curiosity. Leaning closer to the little rascal, I asked softly,
"What did P'Fah do earlier?"
The one being questioned bit his lip before replying without looking at me, "P'Fah...took crab meat from Teerak's mouth."
P'Fah is downright bold. I apologize for ever saying that P'Fah wouldn't go far. Turns out he secretly made progress along the way too...The small figure, whose red face extended to his ears, made me chuckle quietly. I used to wish he'd be bolder with me, hoping GlaiJai would step up his game until I couldn't handle it. But seeing him flustered for the chubby-cheeked made me realize... GlaiJai could never go beyond sweet words and little gestures.
The boldest move he'd make was pinching my cheek. But then it seemed like the little rascal sensed I was underestimating him again, just like when I said P'Fah wouldn't get far and that I was ahead of him. GlaiJai picked up a shrimp with his fork and held it up to my lips. The sight was incredibly adorable, with his blushing face trying to be bold despite his own shyness.
"If Panlee's role as my close friend is to peel shrimp for me, then my role as yourclose friend is to feed you shrimp."
GlaiJai actually did it...
And I completely lost my composure. My face felt hot as I took the shrimp with my mouth, chewing while looking at the little one who refused to look away from me. He held my gaze for several moments before saying,
"Shrimp is just as sweet as crab meat, don't you think?"
I laughed softly at his words and nodded. "Even though I didn't get to try the crab meat, I think it wouldn't be as sweet as this shrimp."
GlaiJai smiled shyly before averting his gaze, focusing on his plate. But soon enough, he picked up another shrimp and brought it to my lips. With someone this sweet feeding me, I couldn't say no. I couldn't believe this trip had made GlaiJai so much bolder.
I glanced at P'Dom, who was watching us. He raised an eyebrow at me before turning back to focus on his girlfriend sitting beside him.
"Panlee, want more shrimp?"
"I can eat more."
This time, I didn't eat the shrimp so easily. When his slender hand held out the large shrimp to my lips, I reached out and held his hand. The little one's face turned an even deeper shade of red as I slowly took the shrimp with my mouth, keeping eye contact with him. GlaiJai lowered his gaze before gently withdrawing his hand from mine.
I smiled to myself while watching him stare at the shrimp on his plate, thinking tomyself... GlaiJai, have you realized yet... that it's not just you who has fallen in love with the moon, but this moon also has also fallen in love with you.
After finishing our meal, P'Hia invited everyone to play monkey-in-the-middle in the sea, saying that playing it on the beach was too ordinary. Some went to change clothes before heading into the water, while others were already dressed for swimming, like GlaiJai and me, who didn't change at all. We held hands as we walked into the sea.
As we walked step by step, I stole glances at the side of his face. GlaiJai smiled to himself while watching the waves crash against him, then lifted his face to look at me. In that moment, as a gentle smile appeared on his sweet face, I released his hand from mine and wrapped my arm around his small shoulders instead.
GlaiJai looked up at me again and said, "I really like this trip."
"I like it too," I replied.
But what I said wasn't true.
And all the times I've kept saying, 'I like GlaiJai,'
None of it was true at all...
Because the truth is, my feelings have gone far beyond just 'liking.'
What I feel for GlaiJai now...
is love.
...
"I never thought playing monkey-in-the-middle in the sea would be this tiring."
"It takes more energy to keep your balance, so it makes you more tired than playing on the beach."
After exhausting ourselves in the water, everyone scattered to rest on the beach. Panlee invited him to sit quite far from his house, o there were only the two of them sitting there. Glai looked at Khun Prachan, who was sitting beside him. he turned to look at the moon sitting beside him. He leaned back, resting his arms behind him, and gazed at the sea. The scene in front of him made him realize that everyone has one thing that brings them comfort every time they look at it. For some, it might be the blue sky, and for others, it might be a field of flowers. But for him, it would probably only be the moon.
But for Glai... it was just the moon.
"Khun Glai, do you want some coconut water?"
Glai nodded and said, "I'd like some, but is it far for you to get it, Panlee?"
"Not too far."
"Alright then."
"But I have a condition."
"..."
"The coconut water has to be traded for a picture of us together."
"Deal," he said with a laugh.
Panlee pulled out his phone from his pocket and prepared to take a photo of the two of them. His large hand guided Glai's head to rest on his broad shoulder. Glai smiled widely as Panlee counted to three before snapping the picture.
"Does it look okay?" Panlee asked.
Glai looked at the photo of them on the black phone and nodded enthusiastically,
"It's good, it's good."
"Can I post this on Instagram?"
"Sure."
"Give me your Instagram username. I'll tag you in the post."
The little one took Panlee's phone to type in his Instagram username and said, "But I don't use Instagram much, Panlee."
"That's fine. I just want to follow you." He pointed at the screen, "Now you follow back, okay?"
"Alright~ I'll follow you back."
Glai handed the phone back to its owner and took out his own phone to follow Panlee back on Instagram. He widened his eyes slightly at the number of followers Panlee had. Tens of thousands of followers! Compared to Glai...
He had just reached 200 followers a few days ago.
"I'll go grab some coconut water for you now."
"..."
"Could you check the picture we just took again? It's in the photo album."
"Sure, I'll check it for you."
"Thanks."
Khun Pracha stood up and handed his phone to Glai before walking away. Glai looked at the taller man disappearing into the distance, then opened the photo album. He thought the picture had looked fine earlier, but Panlee probably wanted to double-check before sharing it with his many followers.
Glai frowned slightly when he noticed a video right after their latest photo. He wouldn't have paid it any attention if the thumbnail didn't show his face smiling in the car.
His heartbeat quickened as he hesitated to play the video. He swallowed and glanced toward where Panlee had gone. Seeing no sign of him returning soon, Glai decided to play the video.
As the still image began to move, he realized Panlee had recorded a video call they had together. As the video continued, Glai's heart raced, knowing he had made some embarrassing mistakes. He skipped toward the end of the video, and the conversation between them from that day made his face flush hot.
'I kept you company and even sang for you... Khun Glai, you have to reward this puppy.'
'What does the puppy want?'
'A pat on the head.'
His small heart nearly stopped as he watched his own face lean closer to the screen. Glai immediately turned off the phone, pressing his forehead against the black phone repeatedly.
Panlee knows...
He knows that he secretly kisses the head, and Panlee probably wants him to know that.... The puppy knows, the puppy sees.
;_____;
"What is Khun Glai doing?"
Glai swallowed and gathered his thoughts. Even though he didn't turn to look at the voice's owner, Glai knew that Khun Prachan was sitting down beside him. He chose to gaze out into the distance and didn't answer the other person. A coconut that already cracked open and with a straw inserted, was handed to him.
"Coconut water."
"Uh, thanks."
Glai replied before taking the coconut, still not turning to look at the person beside him. Right now, Glai felt so shy that he just wanted to run into the sea and let the waves carry him far away.
"Is that all you're going to say, just thank you?"
"..."
"Don't you have a reward for the puppy?"
"..."
"Like..."
"Okay..." Since he knew what the other person was going to say next, Glai quickly interrupted and reached out to pat Panlee's head, without looking at him. He then pulled his hand back to his side as usual. "I've patted the puppy's head now."
"That's all? Just patting the puppy's head?"
"..."
"No..."
I can't... I really can't.
Glai placed the coconut down on the sand before gripping Panlee's phone tightly and turning to look at the person beside him. Khun Prachan smiled and nodded his head towards the phone. Glai bit his lip tightly before sighing, admitting that he had completely lost to the other person. He let his head fall on the broad shoulder beforesaying,
"Huh... Panlee, please delete the video."
The person he had begged laughed softly before saying, "I won't delete it because I don't know when Khun Glai will be kind enough to reward me like this again."
"..."
"I want to keep it to watch."
"Khun Sasin, please delete it."
"No matter how hard you beg, I won't delete it." Panlee said before pulling his phone back. "I'll take it back first. If not, later Khun Glai will delete the video."
"I shouldn't have asked Panlee to delete it. I should have deleted it myself."
"I'm not turning around."
Glai shook his head even though it was still resting on the broad shoulder. Khun Prachan laughed happily before reaching out to gently pat his head, as he liked to do. Then, he pressed play on the video again.
"Panlee! Turn it off!"
"Okay, okay... I've turned it off." Khun Prachan spoke while laughing.
"A little wind would have been nice."
"Not a chance."
The smaller person looked up at Khun Prachan. Glai thought there were only a few reasons why the other person wanted him to know he had kept the video. One of those reasons must include the word 'like,' and the word 'like' must be enough to make him see something in the other person's eyes.
It was at this moment that they looked at each other for a long while, amidst the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the loud beating of hearts, and every feeling that existed blended together, creating one sound that echoed in the nerve endings... maybe this sound was loud enough for Panlee to hear.
"I like Panlee."
So stupid!
Why did you say that, Glai? He should have thought about it more carefully before saying it. Glai bit his lip and shook his head slightly, trying to backtrack. The other person's calm expression made Glai start to worry, but in the next moment, a bright smile appeared on Panlee's face.
"I like you too."
"..."
"I like you in the way that I want you to promote me to be more than just someone close to you."
"..."
"But I also want everything to take its time, in the way that makes you comfortable."
"..."
"I want us to be each other's comfort."
"..."
Glai always tried to comfort himself by saying he wasn't the unlucky one who only met bad people in his life, even though deep down, he felt he was the unlucky one, and everything that had happened only confirmed that he was truly unlucky. But he was an unlucky person who was now escaping from all the pain...and was about to become a lucky one.
Even though he didn't want to admit he was lucky, Glai couldn't deny it. Because there are not many people who confess their feelings to someone they secretly like and get the same feelings back in return. He had once imagined that... if one day he found out Panlee felt the same way, he would be so happy and quickly ask the other to be his partner. But now, Glai wasn't sure if he could call this feeling happiness, because it seemed that just the word 'happy' wasn't enough to describe the feelings that were forming right now. It was a feeling of fulfilment, mixed with some happiness and warmth in his heart.
The statuses he once thought would unfold in a certain way didn't seem important when he heard the phrase 'I want us to be each other's comfort.' Glai had just realized that he shouldn't tell himself what to do at that time, but should let time help tell him what to do at that moment.
And now, time was telling him... GlaiJai Borirat, don't worry about anything anymore. Everything has passed already, and now you've reached the moon. Glai broke into a wide smile, his eyes squinting before resting his head on the broad shoulder. He felt a tingling sensation in his nose when Khun Prachan moved his hand to gently rub his shoulder.
"Panlee..."
"Yes..."
"If we need to take some time to get to know each other a little more before we move on to being more than just close friends..."
"..."
"Will Panlee be okay with that?"
For Glai... knowing that they were on the same page was just the first step. Even though Glai knew that the two of them could progress faster in their relationship, because the other person was so important to him, Glai wanted everything to take its time, just as Panlee had said...
Not for his own comfort, But to make sure that every step they took together was as stable as possible.
"Even if it takes us many years to get to know each other, I'll be okay."
"..."
"But I have one request..."
Glai looked up at the person who had his arm around his shoulder. "..."
"Khun Glai, please don't leave this puppy behind."
"I promise I won't leave the puppy."
"Thank you."
Glai smiled and looked into Khun Prachan's eyes, staying like that for a moment.
"Now I'm starting to regret it... that we didn't stay here tonight."
"This puppy doesn't need to regret. We'll come back and travel together again." Panlee smiled before saying, "Okay."
The smile of the person whom Glai had already placed in his heart as the moon and the puppy, who was so sweet and affectionate, made him smile too. Glai looked away from Panlee and gazed out at the sea, thinking...
No need to wonder when he would reach the moon, Because now, GlaiJai had already reached the moon.
GlaiJai is truly amazing. ☺