He wasn't stronger than anyone else, but why did he have so many tears? Maybe it was because the tears that flowed uncontrollably were the result of the pain he had been carrying inside his heart. That's why they flowed endlessly...
Both of Glai's hands pressed against his eyes, which were wet and warm. He thought he had cried enough, so he tried to stop by pressing his palms against his eyelids. He pushed harder until it hurt a little. He didn't mean to hurt himself, but only wanted the tears to stop. But they wouldn't stop.They kept flowing like this throughout the night... until he fell asleep.
Three days after the exams were over, Glai's mental state started to improve. He messaged P'Chin to return the summary sheet, and P'Chin said he would come to pick it up at noon in the cafeteria. Glai then sat down to have lunch with Gun. Since confessing his feelings, P'Chin hadn't eaten with them or responded to his messages. He didn't answer his calls either, but Glai didn't blame him. The truth was... he had no right to be angry with P'Chin.
He had no right to demand anything.
"Glai..."
Glai looked up when he heard his name. "P'Max?"
"Yeah, it's me... P'Chin asked me to pick up his notes."
"Where's P'Chin?" Gun, who was sitting across from him, asked.
"He's sitting at the table in front of the noodle shop. I asked him why he wasn't sitting with us, but he didn't answer..." P'Max sighed. "Did you two fight?"
Glai thought the best answer was... "Not exactly."
"Then what happened?"
"I think P'Max should hurry up and return the sheet to P'Chin. P'Chin will be waiting for a long time."
Gun grabbed the summary sheet from Glai's hand and shoved it into P'Max's, who frowned slightly.
"Okay... I'll go."
Glai sighed after P'Max left. He didn't know what to say. He didn't dare speak more because P'Chin hadn't told his friends about what happened. Glai knew he shouldn't speak either.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Your mouth says you're okay, but your heart isn't."
"..."
"Yesterday, P'Chin went to see his friend at my faculty. When he saw me, he quickly turned and walked away."
"..."
"It's clear he's been avoiding me."
"I'm sorry, Gun... It's because of me that P'Chin isn't talking to you."
"You don't have to apologize to me... P'Chin is old enough to handle things. He should know better."
"..."
"If he's not ready to see you, I can understand that. But avoiding me too... I don't really get that."
"Do you think P'Chin is avoiding me because he doesn't want to answer any questions?"
Gun shook his head in frustration. "Right now, I might seem selfish for taking my friend's side, but I'll admit I'm being selfish. If I get to meet P'Chin, I'll say... P'Chin is being a real jerk."
"..."
"If he doesn't want to see us the same way again, fine. But don't act like we've never known each other."
"..."
"It would be nice if he could smile at us sometimes."
"Everything changed because of me."
"..."
"No one is being cruel, Gun... Everyone has their own reasons."
"..."
"Don't worry about me, Gun. You know how strong I am," Glai said with a smile. Gun sighed and shook his head, clearly not believing it. "I'm really okay."
"Go lie to someone else... Don't lie to your best friend."
"..."
"If it hurts, say it hurts... Got it, Glai?"
The bitter smile on Glai's face slowly faded, replaced by red eyes that burned with pain. "Yeah... I understand."
"..."
"I hurt a lot, Gun."
"Glai, my heart..." Gun reached out and gently ruffled his hair to comfort him. "Get back to being your strong self soon."
"Yeah... Wait a little longer. It won't be long. Soon, my strong heart will come back." The definition of "soon" is different for everyone. For some, it's just a few months, but for others, it can be a year. Glai thought the reason this word stretched out longer than expected was because of things that couldn't be controlled. Like the thoughts and words of people.
For instance, right now, the story of Glai confessing his love to P'Chin had become the talk of his department. He had spent weeks trying to heal his heart, and he was slowly bringing back his "strong" self. The phrase "not long now" seemed like it would only take less than a year. But everything Glai tried to do fell apart in an instant, simply because he overheard a conversation from some classmates.
"Is this the guy?... The one who confessed to P'Chin?"
"Yeah, that's him."
"I've seen him go dancing with P'Chin at the freshman welcome party."
"I heard he's a junior at the same school... probably had a crush on P'Chin for a long time."
"But P'Chin doesn't like him."
"Honestly, he shouldn't have confessed. It ruined things between them."
"Maybe Glai thought P'Chin liked him?"
"He was just fooling himself."
"Yeah."
Glai had heard this conversation many times, but he still couldn't get used to it. His heart still hurt. The images and words kept replaying in his head. He chose to sit atthe front to avoid hearing these conversations, but it never worked. The voices from his classmates always reached his ears.
"Glai..."
Glai turned to look at his close friend, who gently rubbed his arm. "I'm okay, Cake."
Because of the confession that had turned into a hot topic in the department last week, Glai had decided to share this with his two best friends, Cake and Som. He hadnever told them before that he secretly liked P'Chin. When they found out, they comforted him a lot.
"Okay, that's crazy," Som, who was sitting next to Cake, spoke up before turning to
look at the classmates behind them. "Can you guys talk a little quieter?"
"The professor isn't even here yet... what's the problem with talking loud?"
"It's called manners... Try to have some."
"Som..." Glai called out, seeing Som arguing with a group of girls. "Don't cause trouble because of me."
Som looked annoyed at being stopped but then turned back to look at Glai. "Those girls have no manners, Glai."
"What they said is the truth... there's nothing I can do except accept it."
"..."
"I believe it won't take long. Soon, something else will come up and replace our story."
"..."
"They're just looking for something to talk about. After class, they'll go hang out, watch movies, and eat together happily. They won't care if they accidentally make anyone feel bad... so we should leave their hurtful words in this room and not take them home."
"..."
"Because if we go home and suffer alone... no one will take responsibility for our feelings."
"Glai... you're such a good person, like..." Som sighed before continuing, "I promise that the first thing I'll ask when I go to make merit is... I'll ask for you to meet someone good. I hope the person you love is so good that everyone in the world will be jealous."
Glai laughed softly and nodded at his friend. "Thank you, Som... When I said that earlier, I wasn't just reminding myself. It's for you and Cake too. If we face something like this again, don't argue if it's not necessary."
"..."
"But if someone says too much, we can speak up then."
"..."
"...Because eventually, it will pass."
Yes... Eventually, it will pass, Glai.
"Glai, do you still not know who was the first person to talk about this in the department?" Cake asked.
Glai, with his usual small frown, thought for a moment before replying, "Only me, P'Chin, and Gun knew about it... and that day in the library, no one was sitting close to our table."
"Gun, your friend from a different faculty, wouldn't say anything, right? You told me he was a close friend you went to high school with. I don't think your close friend would speak about it."
"I know Gun wouldn't say anything."
"..."
"As for P'Chin... I think he definitely wouldn't say anything either. He hasn't even told P'Max, his close friend." Glai bit his lip to hold back his feelings before continuing, "The person who wants to forget that day the most... would never talk about it to anyone. P'Chin probably wants to hide it somewhere and run as far as he can."
"Right... Because if P'Chin talks, he knows the story will be passed around and discussed for a long time. Then it will never end. People will keep talking about it for fun."
Som nodded as if agreeing with Cake. "...And P'Chin would keep hearing this story over and over, which he probably doesn't want."
"Well, then we should just cut P'Chin out," Cake said.
"If we cut P'Chin out, that means we have no other suspects left... no one else to blame."
"Actually, we can trace it back to the first person. We could just ask around and see who heard it first, and eventually, we'll know who it was." Glai fell silent before continuing, "At first, I really wanted to do that... but when I thought about it more, Irealized it's better not to know who started it."
"..."
"I don't know why I should waste time doing that when everything everyone said is the truth."
"..."
"But there's a moment when I think... if that person hadn't spoken about it to the department, I probably would have healed faster because I wouldn't have to keep hearing this story over and over."
"Honestly... No matter who that person is, they shouldn't have told everyone about this, not because it's embarrassing to be rejected... but because it deeply affects someone's feelings."
"..."
"Someone who's been rejected... it's not just about love. Whether it's anything else, they'll be sad about the rejection for sure. How much they hurt depends on their expectations and emotional resilience. But what everyone should know is that the person who's disappointed might be trying very hard to move on or is already getting stronger."
"..."
"But... everything can be ruined by just a few words that strike at the heart."
"..."
Cake sighed before speaking again after Som finished, "Talking about feelings... it's really hard."
"It's not just hard to talk about, Cake, it's also hard to heal," Glai replied with a faint smile.
Som's words had deeply penetrated Glai's heart. Perhaps, deep inside, Glai thought the same way. What his friend said touched him so much that he couldn't speak. Glai knew that everyone had the right to speak, and he didn't think the person who talked about his story was wrong because they were speaking the truth. He just wished that people would have a little more compassion.
Not just for him. But for everyone who was facing tough times. Don't let our words become someone's nightmare. Because no matter how much we try to forget... if the nightmare repeats every day... How can we forget?
"Is it possible, Glai... that someone from the department saw you in the library when you confessed to P'Chin?" Cake asked.
"Could it really be that coincidental, Cake? The person who overheard just happens to be in our department?" Glai frowned even more.
He thought back to that day and replied, "That day in the library, it was only me, Gun, P'Chin, and the librarian."
The more certain he was that no one else was around that day, the less he wanted to know who started spreading this story. The only thing Glai could do to protect his heart from going back to feeling terrible like it did weeks ago was to trust. Glai trusted Gun... and he trusted P'Chin.
Just that... and he didn't want to know anything else.
Just that... and he no longer had to fear getting hurt again.
Glai had once heard the phrase, "If seeking the truth will make you sad, let it stay hidden." And so, he chose to let the truth hide without attempting to find it again. He didn't need any truth to help him move forward. He would move on from everything on his own.
"I really want to know who was the gossiping idiot who talked about this, causing the gossipers to have a fun conversation."
"Don't even bother finding out, Som... I've thought about it, and maybe it's better to blame the librarian in the library," Cake said, before turning and smiling at Glai. "...Thinking this way makes me feel better, right, Glai?"
Glai laughed softly and nodded. Cake probably thought the same thing he did. Glai knew that Cake wasn't suggesting he run from the truth. His friend just wanted him to get stronger, faster.
"You don't have to blame the librarian, Cake. I feel sorry for them." Glai said with a grin, before continuing, "I like to think that eventually, it'll pass... just thinking that makes me feel a little better." Even though he knew it wouldn't pass easily.
"Good luck, Glai. I'm rooting for you."
"I'm rooting for you too."
But Glai would get through it... After class, Glai and his two best friends packed up and got ready to go home. Heseemed in more of a hurry than usual, and Som asked with curiosity.
"Why are you in such a rush today, Glai?"
"I was going home today... the driver has been waiting for a while. He just called and said he's been waiting in the parking lot, so I don't want to keep him waiting too long. I'll hurry and meet him." Glai replied as he zipped up his bag.
"Look, Cake... he's even considerate of his family's driver."
"I believe good people are protected by the gods."
The small person being talked about chuckled softly before looking up at his two friends. "So, what about you two? What are you doing after this?"
"I'm going up to meet my boyfriend on the twelfth floor."
"I'm going to deliver some work to Professor Num on the fourteenth."
"Ah... no one else is going down to the lower floors like me, huh?"
"Yeah~"
"You can take the elevator alone, right, Glai?"
Glai almost laughed but then nodded slowly, "I'm 19 now. I can definitely take theelevator alone without any problem."
"Okay... then let's wait for the elevator together."
The small person, who wasn't much taller than the two female friends, stepped out to stand by the elevator. It wasn't long before Glai had to wave goodbye to Cake and Som as they entered the elevator together. Now, he stood alone, waiting. His slanted eyes were fixed on the down-arrow indicator, which showed that the elevator on the right, coming down from the 12th floor, was on its way to pick him up. But the elevator on the left changed from the up-arrow to a down-arrow as well. Glai smiled slightly when he realized he had two options.
"Whichever side has fewer people, I'll take that one..."
While Glai waited for the elevator, he shifted his gaze from the red arrow to look at a second-year senior who stood next to him waiting for the elevator. If he wasn't mistaken, he had seen these seniors at the freshman welcome booth.
"I got scolded so badly..."
"You deserved it. You did a sloppy job and submitted it to the professor."
"Besides getting scolded, my ears are still numb."
Glai wasn't intentionally eavesdropping on their conversation, but because they were standing fairly close, he could clearly hear what they were saying. From what he heard, he thought the seniors must have just finished submitting their work at the
faculty.
"Ding!"
The sound made Glai snap his attention away from the seniors and turn to look at the elevator door, which had just opened. As he stepped inside the elevator on the right,he noticed that the seniors were getting on the elevator on the left. He was now alone In this elevator.
With a slender finger, he pressed the button to close the doors. Glai watched as the metal doors, which looked like mirrors, slowly started to close. However, the familiar voice of someone, coming through a small gap, made him quickly press the open- door button again.
"Wait for me!"
Glai didn't open the door because the person asked him to, but because he knew who the voice belonged to.And when the doors opened wide enough, he saw...
"P'Chin..."
It made Glai realize that everything he had been trying to do over the past few weeks...
'...'
Wasn't enough to face the indifferent gaze of the other person. Glai fell silent, staring at P'Chin. He still kept the door open, hoping that P'Chin would come into the elevator with him. But instead, P'Chin quickly avoided his gaze and stepped into the elevator on the left. The alarm sound from the other elevator, indicating an overload, made Glai feel a sharp pain in his heart.
Perhaps because his elevator was too quiet or because the seniors were speaking loudly, Glai heard their conversation clearly from the elevator on the left.
"Hey, Chin... get out, damn it."
"Yeah, it's over capacity."
"Can't I come with you guys?"
"No, no. You go wait for the next one."
"I saw that the other elevator had a small guy get on alone. Why do you have to squash yourself with us?"
These conversations...
'I would rather be with you guys'
Made Glai move his finger from the open door button to the close button. He pressed it to close... close the heart that still hoped. Close the heart completely... and truly let go.
Glai watched as the doors slowly closed again. Once they were completely shut, he saw his own reflection in the metal. At that moment, he felt a sharp sting in his nose. The reflection blurred as tears began to well up, and Glai bit his lip, knowing that the dam holding back the tears was about to break.
Although the image was unclear, Glai knew from experience exactly which button to press to make the elevator move faster. He pulled his cold hands back to his sides after pressing the button for his floor. He tried to push all the thoughts out of his mind.
At this moment... emptying his mind seemed like the best thing to do. But suddenly, a song that he had repeatedly listened to the week before began playing in his mind. The melody was so clear it felt like it was playing out loud, even though he was standing alone in the elevator.MAnd a line from the song echoed in his head:
"Force yourself a little, even though you still love, but he doesn't love you back. We should let him go... better to let him go." It made the fragile barrier of tears in his eyes...
"And it will pass... and your heart will change. One day, he will be gone. Even though today you still feel it, even though you still miss him... with every breath."
And with the heart that was so fragile... it shattered at that moment. And so did his body, which collapsed to the floor. Glai felt his legs go weak, and he had to sit down. He wrapped his arms around his knees, letting the tears fall. One hand moved to cover his mouth to stifle the sobs.
Glai thought that maybe someone would see him crying through the CCTV cameras in the elevator, but the pain he felt made him not care anymore. He wished that the tears would wash away the indifferent gaze of that person and the conversation that made him feel invisible.
The elevator slowly moved down to the lower floor, giving Glai time to collect himself after allowing the tears to pour out. The small person raised his head to look at the numbers above the door. The numbers were decreasing, like a countdown, signalling that he would soon escape the emptiness of this space. His hand, which had been pressed against his lips, moved to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Glai allowed the song to loop in his mind, without trying to suppress it with other thoughts.
Because Glai knew... this was his way of comforting himself.
"And it will pass... and your heart will change. One day, he will be gone. Even though today you still feel it, even though you still miss him... with every breath."
He would be able to stand up again, even with traces of tears on his face. It was probably because Glai had chosen the song "Let Go" to comfort himself, not to torment himself further.
Glai now knew that the most important encouragement...
Was the encouragement that came from within.
Ding!
The notification sound rang just before the elevator doors opened. Glai took a deep breath and stepped out, leaving the remnants of his sadness behind. He quickly walked to the parking lot because the driver had been waiting for a long time. As soon as he reached the van, he saw Uncle Mai, who had been picking him up since kindergarten, smiling at him.
It was a warm smile that never changed. Glai remembered that when he was younger, he used to cry because his dad was late picking him up, and Mom had sent Uncle Mai instead. After that, Glai never cried over it again. He would always smile widely whenever he saw Uncle Mai holding a lemon-flavored candy waiting by the car.
"Hello, Uncle." Glai said, raising his hand to greet him.
"Hello, young master."
"Sorry for keeping you waiting, Uncle."
"No problem, young master... Are you tired today?" Uncle Mai asked while pulling something from his pocket. Glai bit his lip when he saw the lemon-flavored candy. It looked like Uncle Mai had switched brands, probably because the old one was no longer available, but the wrapper still looked the same as before. "I know this won't help you feel less tired, but this candy might make you feel a little better."
The small person nodded and accepted the candy. Glai wanted to thank Uncle Mai, but something choked up in his throat, making it impossible for him to say anything. Instead, he just smiled while unwrapping the plastic.
"...?"
"Do you want me to open it for you, young master?"
Glai smiled faintly and shook his head. He realized that holding back tears in front of someone you love was never easy. He tried to smile as wide as possible to cover up the tears that were welling up in his eyes. "I guess I studied too much today... I'm just exhausted. I can hardly even open this candy wrapper."
"When you're too exhausted to do anything..." Uncle Mai stepped closer to him, gently taking the candy from his trembling hands. He quickly unwrapped it and handed it back to Glai, saying, "I'll be here... I'll always help you, young master."
Glai smiled faintly and nodded, then spoke in a shaky voice, "Thank you, Uncle."
"Let's go home, young master."
"Yes."
Uncle Mai must have known that Glai was upset because he had been looking at him through the rearview mirror the whole way. Every time their eyes met through the reflection, Glai would smile back at him. To try to make Uncle Mai feel a little more at ease...
The small person leaned his head against the glass in exhaustion, looking up at the blue sky. The white clouds floating above showed that the weather was clear. Today the sky seemed brighter and more open than usual. Although the view confirmed that there was no sign of rain, Glai felt as though it might rain at any moment. But it wasn't the rain from the sky.
It was the rain falling in his heart...
When Uncle Mai drove him home, Glai quickly got out of the car and headed straight for the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked butter cookies filled the house. He quickened his pace to find the person who had made the delicious cookies. He stopped in front of the kitchen door when he saw P'Jeab taking a tray of cookies out of the oven. Glai had seen P'Jeab baking cookies since he was a kid. It had alway been a familiar sight that never really made him feel much before. But today, one feeling crept into his heart.
Glai felt grateful...
'...'
Grateful that P'Jeab was not sick.
"Oh, when did you get here?" P'Jeab asked, noticing him.
"I've been standing here watching you for a while now."
"You sweet talker... come here, give me a hug."
Top of Form
Thank you for not being cruel to those who are loved in this world. P'Jeab took off the pink gloves she wore to handle the hot cookie tray, then lightly tapped her yellow apron with both hands. She opened her arms wide and smiled at him. She was almost ready to walk over and give him a hug, as she had missed him. He hadn't been home in weeks. He thought that, despite the bad luck, there was still some good luck left. This week, the professor hadn't assigned too much work, so he was able to come home and rest.
"I still wonder, Glai, why didn't you choose to study at a university close to home?"
P'Jeab asked, pulling away from the hug. She brushed a strand of hair from her face. Her eyes always radiated love and good intentions.
"Because the universities around here don't offer this program, so I had to make the difficult choice and study far from home."
"Look at you... you've gotten even thinner since the last time I saw you."
"Well, that's because the condo doesn't have food as delicious as yours."
"Are you saying I should just move in with you, then?"
Glai chuckled softly before reaching for a cookie from the tray, but it was so hot that he dropped it.
"I forgot you just took these cookies out of the oven..." He looked at the butter cookies, which had broken into pieces on the floor, then bent down to pick them up.
"I'm sorry for not being more careful, P'Jeab."
He looked up to find P'Jeab quietly laughing. She crouched down to help him gather the cookie crumbs and said, "It's nothing. You don't have to apologize, Glai."
"..."
"I know... some things you didn't want to happen."
"..."
"Don't blame yourself anymore."
Glai didn't know how they had ended up on such a serious conversation, but P'Jeab's words seemed to be comforting him about something deeper. Maybe because she had raised him since he was a child, even if she didn't know what had happened, she must have sensed it somehow. That was why she was speaking this way. P'Jeab knew that he often spoke in vague terms instead of directly.
"But Glai, you were the one who dropped it... and it broke because of your hands."
"But deep down, Glai didn't mean for it to happen like this..." P'Jeab gathered the broken cookie pieces into her hands and smiled, comforting his heart. "Look at these crumbs, Glai... no matter how much you try, they can never go back to being the way they were."
"..."
"Even though you know it broke because of your hands, the only thing you can do is to let it go."
"..."
"Then pick up a new cookie instead."
"..."
"Don't let yourself feel guilty about something so much that your feelings and heart break apart just like this cookie."
"..."
"We have to blame ourselves less and forgive ourselves more."
"..."
"Do you know why I'm telling you this, Glai?"
Glai had been with P'Jeab for so long, he should have understood by now. "Because blaming yourself is easier than forgiving yourself. Glai thinks that we might blameourselves a hundred times, but we forgive ourselves less than ten."
"That's right."
"..."
"I'm not teaching you to not take responsibility, but I just want to tell you that when we know we've made a mistake, we should forgive ourselves, so we have the chance to improve and fix what we did wrong."
"..."
"Let everything that happens be a lesson that makes us stronger and better. Don't let mistakes become a burden that holds us back, making us too afraid to try again."
Glai was starting to wonder if P'Jeab had some magical ability to read his mind, because her words hit exactly what he had been feeling. He felt guilty for letting himself cross the line, getting too close and crossing the boundary of their mentor-student relationship, and it had led to the fallout with P'Chin.
If he let himself carry that burden, as P'Jeab said, the one thing he'd never be able to do again was fall in love with someone. But deep down, he still wanted to fall in love once more.
"I promise... from now on, I'll try to forgive myself for everything, no matter how big the mistake was."
Even though he had told himself not to fall in love again.
"Good job, Glai... no matter what happens, I'll always be your support."
"Thank you, P'Jeab."
It was probably because of that cookie and P'Jeab's words of wisdom that Glai began to feel better about himself. It gave him the strength to cook something for dinner, waiting for his father to come home. He made his father's favorite dish, stewed eggs in soy sauce, while the other dishes were left to P'Jeab, the expert cook.
Glai placed the pot of stewed eggs on the table, and soon the housekeeper arrived to help set the table. Once everything was in place, the head of the house appeared.
"Glai..."
His father's eyes widened as he called out. Glai laughed and walked over to give him a tight hug. He hadn't told his father he was coming home, and the only people who knew were Uncle Mai and P'Jeab. His return had certainly surprised his father.
"I missed you so much, Dad."
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home? I would have rushed back to see you." His father said, pressing his nose against Glai's head before continuing, "I miss you so much, but I understand you've been busy with your studies and didn't have time to come home."
"I had exams last week, and the professor assigned a lot of work... so I thought I'dwait until this busy time was over before coming home to relax."
"So how long are you staying this week?"
"Three days. I'll leave on Monday morning."
"Huh? You're leaving Monday morning?" His father lifted his head and looked at him, confused. "If I'm not mistaken, you have class at ten on Monday, right?"
"Yes... but I think if I leave the house at six in the morning, I can make it to class on time."
"..."
"I just want to stay home longer... because I really miss everyone." His father laughed, then said, "My little one... By the way, you didn't drive here, right? I don't see your car."
"Yes, I left my car at the condo. Uncle Mai picked me up from the university."
"Well, on Monday, I'll drive you back to the university."
"That's okay, Dad. You have to go to work."
"I can manage my time, Glai..." His father said, gently ruffling his hair. "Let me do my part as a father. If your mom were here, I'd probably get scolded for not fulfilling my fatherly duties."
"You're not neglecting your fatherly duties, Dad... I understand how busy you are."
His father smiled and hugged him tightly. "I love you so much, Glai."
"Oh... now that Dad's here, you forgot about me, huh?"
Glai laughed and pulled away from the hug when he heard someone's voice from behind. "You've hugged P'Jeab so much already, so let me have a turn."
"I'll gladly share him with you, seeing how hard you've worked all week."
"If I didn't work all week, would you keep Glai to yourself?"
Glai took his father's hand and led him to the table. P'Jeab stood beside him, holding a pot of rice, then served him a plate of steaming hot rice before turning to speak to his father.
"Yes, that's right."
"P'Jeab... you're quite the jealous one."
Normally, his father didn't speak like this, and with the tone of playful pouting, it made Glai and P'Jeab both burst out laughing.
"If you keep saying that about me, I'll just keep Glai all to myself."
"I have no say in this, do I, P'Jeab?"
Glai smiled as he listened to the conversation between his father and P'Jeab. He scooped some stewed eggs onto his father's plate, then served some for himself. Just as he was about to take a bite of rice, he looked up at his father. He noticed his father staring at the stewed eggs on his plate. A few moments later, his father smiled at him. Both of them knew very well that stewed eggs were a favourite of the person who had passed away.
"Last week, Dad took some of the stewed eggs you made to offer at the temple."
"Tomorrow, I'll wake up early and make stewed eggs for the offering again."
"That's great... because for Mom, no one can make stewed eggs as delicious as you."
Glai nodded enthusiastically before continuing to eat. His father served him some large, salted shrimp that had been peeled. Aside from the stewed eggs, shrimp was another of Glai's favourites.
"Eat up, son."
"Thanks, Dad."
The atmosphere at the dinner table was filled with smiles and laughter. Even though their family was small, the love and care between them made everyone feel full in both body and heart.
"The last stewed egg, I'm giving it to you, Glai."
"Thanks, Dad."
"Eat up, son."
"Okay." Glai replied, lowering his head to continue eating, but he had the feeling his father still wasn't looking away from him. When he looked up, he saw his father's eyes still fixed on him.
"Is something bothering you, Glai?"
His father knew him as well as P'Jeab did. Both of them could sense when something was hidden in his heart. Every time Glai fell into sadness or regret, his father and P'Jeab would always know.
"..."
"If something is troubling you... come home to us, okay?"
"Everyone is always waiting for you, Glai."
And it was still those two people who pulled him out of the dark spiral.
"Yes... everyone is ready to stand by you, no matter what happens."
Glai nodded in agreement before saying, "Thank you, Dad, P'Jeab."
His father smiled and turned his gaze away from him, but now it was Glai who refused to look away from his father. Glai watched the important source of his strength eating dinner. Coming home this time didn't heal the wounds inside his heart instantly, nor did it erase the traces of sadness. But coming home this time made Glai realize that... besides time, family was another thing that helped heal the wounds in his heart.
"I will come home more often, Dad."
And he truly tried to do so. After that visit, Glai came home more frequently. Even on weeks when there was a lot of work, he still chose to return home. He would bring work to do at the house because, at least, it allowed him to recharge before going back to face everything again.
His father and everyone else seemed so happy to see him every week. His father would pick him up every Friday evening and drive him back to university on Monday mornings, just like before. Glai's routine continued like this until the final exam period came around.
Today was the last exam day before the first year's semester ended. Glai always felt grateful to himself for being patient and strong enough to get through the difficult times, but the people he should thank the most were his family and friends, like Gun, Som, and Cake.
However, his two close friends would no longer be studying in the same faculty as him because Cake and Som had decided to transfer to a different faculty, unable to continue in their current program.
"Glai... I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, for leaving you to study alone."
"You don't need to apologize... Cake and Som didn't do anything wrong," Glai, who was walking, raised his hand to mess up his two friends' hair. "You did the right thing."
"..."
"If it's too hard, don't force yourself... but make sure to choose a new program carefully."
"This time, I'm sure this faculty will work out."
"Good."
"If you don't have any new friends when the semester starts... just call us, and we'll go eat with you."
Glai laughed and said, "Don't worry about me. I'm already grown up. You're treating me like a kid."
"Whether you're a kid or not, I don't care... but if anyone dares to bully you again, just call me."
The small person chuckled lightly and nodded in agreement. Glai wasn't the type to complain since he was a child, but he responded this time for his friends' peace of mind. "I'll call you, no worries."
"Second-year aviation studies will be harder, so you have to keep fighting, okay?"
"Yeah, you too, Cake and Som."
Both of them nodded before hugging him. Cake pulled away first, looking a little downcast, while Som sighed deeply. Glai smiled at his close friends, both of whom were waving goodbye to him.
He raised his slender hand and waved back. "See you when the semester starts."
"Okay..."
"Take care on your way home, Glai."
"You too, take care on your way home."
After parting ways with his friends, Glai walked to meet his father at the front of the faculty building, across from the parking lot. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out to check the notification. He answered immediately when he saw the caller's name.
...Dad...
"Glai is waiting at the usual place, dad"
[Yes, I'm almost at the university now.]
"Okay, Dad."
Glai ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. As he looked up at the parking lot across from him, he spotted someone he hadn't seen for a while. His gaze followed the tall figure getting into a black car. A smile appeared on his face as his heart didn't feel any pain upon seeing the other person. The experience of love had taught him many lessons and made him grow both mentally and emotionally. Even though Glai had done what was asked of him, he didn't think it was necessary to go and tell P'Chin. Whether he had managed to move on or not didn't really matter because P'Chin had already removed him from his life a long time ago.
Though the memory of that day remained vivid in his mind, the pain from the past had been diluted by time and the support from those he loved, leaving no remnants of sadness behind. Glai took his eyes off the black car and turned to look at the smoky-colored sports car that had parked in front of him. He grinned widely before running to open the door. The first thing he saw was a warm smile and kind eyes.
"Sorry I kept you waiting, Glai. There was a bit of traffic in front of the university."
"It's okay, Dad."
"Come on, let's get in. I'll hurry and take you home to have some cookies."
"Okay."
Glai nodded and quickly got into the car as his father drove out of the university. As they left, Glai glanced at P'Chin's car following behind them through the rearview mirror. He quickly turned his attention back to his father, forcing himself to smile at him instead. He still knew how to handle every result that life threw at him. Now, it was time for Glai to smile more, to balance out the tears he had shed in the past. And now, Glai had his own orbit. An orbit filled with people who loved him. He no longer had to try to fit into anyone else's orbit...
...
Glai, sitting in the cafeteria, smiled as he finished watching an old movie in his head. His life had many movies to show, each one bringing tears. Sometimes when he thought back to the past, he almost couldn't believe he had gotten through it. But now, Glai knew that he could handle any hardship and sadness with the lessons learned from his experiences.
Glai glanced at P'Chin, who was walking out of the cafeteria with a bottle of water, before turning his gaze back to the person in front of him—Gun, who was frowning as if deep in thought. Glai didn't know how long Gun had been watching him, because after seeing P'Chin, his mind had wandered back to the past.
"Are you thinking about that?"
"It just popped into my mind... so I thought back a little."
"Forget the bad stuff, Glai, like what happened with P'Chin."
Glai laughed when he heard that because normally, Gun never referred to P'Chin like that. It was strange, considering how much time had passed, but Gant still seemed more upset than before.
"No one can forget their own past, Gun. Actually, the past teaches us a lot."
Like this experience that taught him that...
People who say they are strong...
People who say they can handle love...
People who say they know love well enough...
All of them have lost their balance because of love.
But after losing balance, breaking down, the heart shaped by pain will make us
stronger than before. Glai thought that his experiences had taught him how to handle
love, but he couldn't truly understand love fully...
Not until... he meets someone who is the other half of him.
The part that was missing.
The part that completes him, making him whole like a full moon.