"Glai... What is the order of Panlee's name? I need to fill in the information."
"What's Panlee's real name, P'Dom?"
"Oh, I totally forgot that you don't know Panlee's real name."
"..."
"Panlee's real name is Sasin Pisut."
The conversation from last week returned to his mind as Glai picked up P'Dom's MacBook and held it close. P'Dom was one of the people organizing the exhibition, and his task was to sort the students from the Digital Media department who were participating in the exhibition according to their student ID numbers by year. Even though P'Dom had his girlfriend helping him, the list was so long with students from all four years that he had to call Glai for help.
Last week, when Glai was at home, he let P'Dom bring the work over to do at his house. This resulted in P'Dom leaving his MacBook there. Last night, P'Dom called him asking when he would be back home because he needed to use the MacBook for work. Usually, Glai only goes home once a week, but this time, he had to go backearlier than usual to return the MacBook to P'Dom.
Glai came out of his bedroom with the MacBook, then walked downstairs to the living room. He saw P'Dom and P'Babe talking. Glai sat down across from the couple, handed the MacBook back to its owner. He called them a "couple stuck together" because ever since they started dating, Glai had never seen one without the other.
If you saw P'Dom, you saw P'Babe.
If you saw P'Babe, you saw P'Dom.
That's how the phrase "a couple stuck together" came about.
"Thank you," Glai said.
"Thank you isn't enough, you have to take your little brother out for a meal too. Last week, you had him helped you with work, and today, he's back to bring the MacBook again."
P'Dom nodded at P'Babe and then looked at Glai. "I'll take you out for dinner, Glai."
"It's okay, P'Dom... I was planning to go home this week anyway to visit my mom before my birthday."
"Say hi to Auntie for me, Glai... tell her I miss her."
"Sure, P'Dom."
"Glai... your birthday is the day after tomorrow, right?" P'Babe asked.
"Yes, P'Babe."
"Are you having a party at home like last year?"
"This year, I'm planning to go to a restaurant around Siam for dinner. Since my family is holding my dad's engagement with Khun Lin at home... I thought it'd be better to invite everyone somewhere else."
P'Dom and P'Babe were quiet for a moment. Glai knew they were concerned about his feelings, so he smiled to reassure them that he was okay. Not only P'Dom and P'Babe, but also P'Jeab, who had been his guardian after his mother passed away, and many others who were close to him, were worried about him feeling upset about his father's engagement with his secretary.
When Glai was younger, he was scared that his dad would replace his mother with another woman. But as he grew older, he realized how much his dad loved his mother, and the fear and sadness disappeared. Now, all Glai felt was understanding. He understood that his dad needed someone to be by his side, someone to take care of him.
And of course... even a man in his late forties like his dad still needed love.
"Glai, are you okay? If you need anything, just let us know." P'Dom said.
"Yes, we'll always listen to you, Glai."
"I'm really fine, P'Dom... But if it were when I was a kid, you and P'Babe would've had to comfort me all day long," Glai said with a laugh. "Now I'm grown up enough to understand a lot of things. The fact that my dad decided to get engaged to Khun Lin doesn't make me sad like everyone thought. It actually makes me feel relieved because now my dad will have someone to take care of him."
"Glai... I think Auntie would be really proud of you."
"I hope I can make Mom proud even more," Glai replied.
P'Dom and P'Babe's smiles made Glai feel that they were genuinely proud of him. He remembered how his mom used to always tell him to listen to P'Dom because he was like an older brother to him, and his aunt, who was his mom's younger sister, would always tell P'Dom to take care of Glai well. That's why they were so close, even though they were only cousins.
"For your birthday this year... is there anything you want? I'll buy it for you."
"You!" P'Babe said, playfully slapping P'Dom's arm. "How could you ask him like that? No surprise at all!"
"I'm afraid I'll get him something he won't like, so it's better to just ask him directly," P'Dom said.
"You need to put more effort into it! Look at what he likes on Instagram or Twitter, then buy something he's into right now. That way, it will be a surprise!" P'Babe advised.
"Well, the thing is, Glai doesn't use social media much... He only posts pictures on Instagram occasionally, and on Twitter, he just retweets bookstores that recommend new books," P'Dom said.
"...That's true," P'Dom thought for a moment. "Glai likes books."
Glai laughed quietly. He thought P'Dom and P'Babe made such a cute couple. They were quite different from each other, but they got along so well. That's what they mean by opposites attract.
"P'Babe... Could you invite Teerak to my birthday?" Glai asked.
Teerak was P'Babe's younger brother, whom Glai had met several times. He studied in the Digital Media department, graphic design, and was in the same year as Glai. Teerak was a cute guy with rosy cheeks, and whenever Glai saw him at university, he would make an effort to greet him. Glai was fond of Teerak because he always spoke so sweetly and had a bright, cheerful smile.
But Glai also realized that, aside from the world being kind and cruel at times, the world also had a way of playing tricks on him. Since Glai met Teerak, he had never seen him with Panlee, but after the incident that allowed him to meet Panlee, he began seeing Teerak with him often.
Glai eventually realized that the two were close friends... It seemed like almost everyone around him knew Panlee.
"Sure, I'll invite him," P'Babe said.
"Thanks, P'Babe."
P'Babe smiled at Glai and then turned to P'Dom. "Let's go. We've already taken up too much of Glai's time. He might need to do something else."
"Don't worry about it. Glai's too polite to send us off, even if he has something to do,"
P'Dom joked with a laugh before adding, "We two have to go by ourselves."
"It's really no trouble, P'Dom. Honestly, after I visit my mom, I don't have anything else to do."
"If you're lonely, you can come visit my house anytime, Glai..."
"I'll come visit you soon, P'Babe... please send my regards to the Niran family in advance."
"You're always welcome," P'Babe said.
"Okay, let's go."
P'Babe nodded, and P'Dom stood up, and then P'Babe followed. Glai walked them out to the front of the house, waiting for the car to arrive. As he stood there, P'Dom suddenly seemed to remember something and raised his eyebrows.
"Glai, have you seen my photos yet? I'm going to submit the exhibition pictures next week."
Glai smiled faintly and replied, "I saw them already. Your photos are beautiful, P'Dom."
"Oh... if you want me to praise you, just say so. Don't make up excuses like the pictures being collected next week."
"It's because you never praise me, that's why I had to get Glai to do it."
Glai laughed when he saw P'Dom making a pouty face at his own girlfriend. "So, P'Babe, aren't you participating in the photography exhibition? I didn't see your name on the list."
"I'm joining next year. This year, let P'Dom have a solo debut."
"So Teerak isn't joining either, right?"
"Yes, he'll join next year with me."
"Oh..."
"Okay, let's go," P'Babe said.
"Take care, Glai," P'Dom said as he waved.
Glai waved back as the BMW car moved away from the driveway. He stood there for a while, reflecting on P'Dom's words. Actually, Phi Dom didn't bother Glai at all. Because P'Dom had made him know that... Panlee's real name was Sasin Phisut. And P'Dom had given him the chance to say thank you to Panlee. Even if it was just through a picture...
For Glai... that was enough.
...
Glai inserted a familiar white CD into the player before walking back to sit on the bed. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. On the screen was a woman who looked a lot like him, sitting in the backyard garden. She was wearing a long, clean dress and had a beautiful smile, almost angelic. Glai had never seen an angel in real life.
But he knew that the woman in the video smiled beautifully like an angel....Because his dad always said that. And Glai thought... Mom really did have a beautiful smile. He smiled softly as he watched his younger self toddling over to his mom. She smiled widely and opened her arms to welcome him. Glai turned the volume up a little because he knew that from now on, he would hear his mom's voice again.
"Khun Glai... come to Mom quickly, darling."
"..."
"Glai, go to Mom, dear."
And Glai could hear his father, who was the cameraman, recording the video...
"Just a little more, dear..."
"..."
"Khun Glai, Mom's baby is so smart."
Glai smiled and raised his hand, wiping away the tears that had unknowingly fallen. He liked watching this video before his birthday. Glai did this every year, but no matter how many times, he could never hold back the tears. Tears that fell... must have been because of longing. Glai wasn't as sad as he was before, Mom. The precious memories of his childhood continued, leading up to his birthday. At that time, Glai was turning twelve. He still remembered the birthday celebration that year very well, even though so much time had passed.
Because it was the last year that Mom celebrated his birthday with him...
"Happy birthday to... my Khun Glai."
"Mom and Glai, please smile for the camera... Dad's recording."
"Dad is recording again? ... I don't like it."
At that time, Glai didn't like it when Dad recorded videos because he was afraid he would make funny faces, and Dad would tease him about it later.
"Let Dad record a good video for you, dear... you'll be able to watch it when you grow up."
"Okay, Mom."
"Khun Glai... Mom wishes you to always be a good child. May you meet good people and have good things in your life. May you grow up well, both in mind and spirit. want you to study and be as good as Dad... Mom will always be your supporter."
"Thank you, Mom."
"Don't forget to thank Dad too, because besides Mom, Dad is the one who loves you and wishes the best for you."
"Thank you, Dad... I love you and Mom the most."
"Dad and Mom love you too."
When the video ended, the screen turned completely black. Glai closed his eyes and thought about that night when Dad drove him to the hospital in the middle of the night. At twelve years old, Glai stood listening to the conversation between his father and relatives outside the emergency room. He saw Dad's red, swollen eyes, and when he looked down, he saw Dad's hand trembling. At that moment, Glai knew something bad had happened to Mom, but Dad and everyone else wouldn't tell him the truth.
But when the doctor came out of the emergency room to talk to Dad and the relatives, the truth everyone had tried to hide was revealed with his grandmother's sobbing. Dad quickly ran over and hugged Glai, who was sitting on a white chair. Glai remembered that Dad let his tears fall freely without holding them back, then spoke in a trembling voice.
"Glai..."
"Yes, Dad."
"Actually, Mom was supposed to stay at Grandma's house tonight. You knew that, didn't you?"
"Yes, Mom called me earlier. She said I should go to bed early, and when I wake up, I'll find her in the kitchen."
Dad smiled through his tears, then said, "Mom must have missed you so much... so she decided to drive back at night. She probably wanted to surprise you."
"..."
"But Mom's car was hit by a pickup truck..."
"..."
"Glai... no matter what happens from now on, I want you to know that... our hearts will always be close to each other."
At that time, Glai didn't fully understand the words, "Our hearts will always be close," but the memories that Dad carefully edited and put on a CD as a birthday gift for his thirteenth birthday helped Glai understand his father's words deeply.
Crack!
The loud noise from the door made Glai quickly wipe away his tears. He thought it was P'Jeab, but when he saw who it was, Glai's face lit up with a wide smile, full of joy.
"Dad..."
"Jeab called to tell me that you're back home, so I rushed over to see you."
"..."
Glai got up from the bed and ran to hug his father. He knew that his father had been very busy lately, so Glai didn't want to disturb his work. But in truth, he missed his father so much.
"Why didn't you call to tell me you were coming home?"
"I know you're busy, Dad. If I called to say I'm coming home, you'd rush to finish your work and wouldn't get a break, just to see me like you always do. So I thoughtmI'd let you have some free time first, and I'll come back to see you again later."
"Last week when you came home, I was hardly here... I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Dad. I understand."
Dad hugged him tightly before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Since I became an MP, the responsibilities have increased."
"..."
"But I'll try to find more time to be with you... please wait for me a little longer, okay?"
Glai nodded while hugging his father. "Okay, Dad."
"Today, I didn't get to see my angel's smile because you were watching the video by yourself."
"You can watch it again, Dad... because I still miss Mom."
"Sure."
Glai pulled away from the hug and took his father's hand to sit on the bed. He pressed the remote to replay the video. Glai secretly watched his father, who smiled warmly when he saw the beloved angel.
"When you were learning to walk... Mom bought so many shoes for you," Dad said while watching the video. Glai looked at Dad, who was wearing a white shirt with the hem untucked from his black pants. His tie was loosened a little. Normally, Dad was always well-dressed, but today he must have been very tired.
"Dad..."
"Yes?"
"Dad, you should rest... I'm worried about you."
Dad smiled and pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't worry about me, Glai. I'm still strong."
"Even if you're strong, you still need someone to take care of you."
Dad pulled back slightly and met Glai's gaze. He sighed and gently patted his head. Glai could see the concern in Dad's eyes.
"Dad..."
"I'm fine, Glai... but you've grown up so well, I can see it."
"Dad... I understand."
Glai hugged his father again. He closed his eyes, silently thanking Dad for always keeping Mom in his heart as a cherished memory. Even though Mom was no longer alive, Dad still loved and honoured her.
After Mom passed away, Dad never dated anyone again until he met Khun Lin. Dad had been with Khun Lin for two years now. That made Glai realize that it wasn't easy for Dad to love someone again, and the fact that Dad found someone who made his heart beat again was something special.
Glai thought...
Dad should spend the rest of his life with that person.
Knock, knock.
Glai pulled away from the hug when he heard a knock at the door. Since the door was already open, he saw Khun Lin, who was dressed neatly and standing there. Khun Lin was about thirty, looking good and having a proper demeanor. Glai didn't know Khun Lin very well, but they had talked a few times.
"Sorry to disturb you, Khun Glai."
"It's okay."
"What's up?"
"The tailor brought the suit that needed adjustments for you to try on... Lin wants you to try it on. If it's still loose, I'll have them fix it again."
"Do I need to try it now?"
"Yes... if you try it now, the tailor can check it right away."
"..."
"I'm sorry to interrupt your time with your son, but since it's the suit for the engagement ceremony, Lin wants you to try it on so we can make sure it fits perfectly."
Glai looked at his father, who let out a small sigh. Dad must have felt guilty for leaving him alone to watch the video again.
"Dad, go try the suit on. You don't want to look bad on the day of the ceremony."
"..."
"I'll go pay respects to Mom in the prayer room. When you're done, we can go eat something delicious together."
Dad leaned down and kissed Glai's forehead. "I'm sorry, Glai... I'll take you out for dinner after I'm done trying on the suit."
"Yes~"
Glai smiled at his father. He watched as his father walked out of the room with Khun Lin. Glai then turned off the DVD player and carefully put the CD back in its case. He was about to leave the room to pay respects to his mother's ashes in the prayer room, but when he opened the door, he saw Khun Lin standing there. He raised his eyebrows in surprise before asking her.
"Is there something you need, Khun Lin?"
"Glai, I'm sorry..."
"..."
"I know that you haven't had much time with your father lately, and yet I still ended up disturbing your time with him again."
"You don't need to apologize, Khun Lin. I understand."
"And there's something else I need to apologize for..." Khun Lin met his gaze, pressed her lips together, then continued,
"I'm really sorry for having the engagement ceremony on your birthday."
"..."
"My parents believe in auspicious dates. They went to see an astrologer and found that this was the best day. At first, Khun Phon and I felt really bad about it because it falls on your birthday..."
"Khun Lin, it's really okay. You and my father don't need to worry about it."
Khun Lin fell silent, still looking at him.
"Please take good care of my father, Khun Lin."
"Yes, Khun Glai."
Glai smiled at Khun Lin. She had been his father's secretary for three years. Throughout their time together, she had always been respectful and formal with him. Even though he had told her multiple times to be more casual, she always replied:
"I give you respect as the boss's child. If I change to a more casual relationship, I wouldn't be comfortable."
"As long as you don't feel tense when talking to me, I'll be happy."
"I'll try my best."
Even now, Khun Lin still seemed a little nervous around him. Glai wasn't sure how to make her feel more comfortable. He noticed her uneasy expression and thought for a moment before reaching into his pocket to pull out his favourite lemon-flavored candy. He held it out to her. Khun Lin furrowed her brows slightly, looking at the candy.
"When I feel worried, I like to eat lemon candies. It makes me feel a lot better."
Glai wasn't sure if this gesture would help strengthen his relationship with his stepmother, but he was trying his best.
"Thank you, Khun Glai."
Khun Lin's smile made Glai feel that his efforts weren't in vain.
"You're welcome."
"..."
"I'm going to go pay respects to my mother now, Khun Lin."
"Please take your time, Khun Glai."
Glai nodded at her and then walked toward the prayer room. He smiled when he saw P'Jeab holding a garland, waiting in front of the prayer room. His father had originally hired P'Jeab just to be his nanny, but after she had been with them for a while, his father had given her the responsibility of being the housekeeper too. P'Jeab had been with their family for a long time.The other housekeepers and drivers called her...
"The head housekeeper."
"I miss the head housekeeper," Glai said before hugging the middle-aged woman who had been like a second mother to him. Technically, he shouldn't call her "P'Jeab" since she was about the same age as his mother, but when he was little, P'Jeab had told him to call her that because she didn't want to feel old. He had continued calling her that ever since.
"Why do you miss me, Glai? Leaving me with those noisy kids?"
Glai laughed. He had heard from the driver that his father had hired three new housekeepers, but none of them were very good at their jobs. So, P'Jeab had to teach them everything from scratch.
The "noisy kids" P'Jeab was referring to must have been the new housekeepers.
"I've been busy with school, P'Jeab."
"..."
"It's good that my father hired new housekeepers. That way, you won't be lonely."
"I'd rather be lonely than have to deal with them," P'Jeab replied. Glai laughed and accepted two garlands from her.
"Thank you, P'Jeab, for always preparing these garlands for me whenever I come home."
"If I don't take care of you, Glai, who else will? I won't take care of anyone else."
"If my father hears you say that, he might get upset."
"It's just the two of us here, so I can say it."
P'Jeab always managed to make him laugh. "P'Jeab, would you like to come and pay respects to Mom with me?"
"No, thank you. What if today, you want to be with your mother alone?"
"I'll be quick, and then I'll come back to talk to you, okay?"
"Alright, Glai..."
Glai was about to open the door to the prayer room when he stopped because he heard P'Jeab's voice calling after him.
"Yes, P'Jeab?"
"I know I shouldn't ask this right now, but I just can't help it. My heart is burning with worry."
"..."
"Since the beginning of your second year, you haven't told me about any new friends, Glai."
Glai felt like he wanted to sigh deeply, but since he didn't want P'Jeab to worry, he gave her a smile instead. She had always been concerned about his friendships because she knew he often got hurt by them.
"..."
"Even though Khun Gun is in the same university, you're in different faculties. I can't help but worry. You told me your close friend from the first year transferred to another faculty and is no longer with you. That makes me even more worried."
It had been a long time since he last updated P'Jeab on his friends.
"I have two new friends now. They're both really nice. You don't need to worry, P'Jeab."
He decided only to tell P'Jeab the good things. As for the bad things he had experienced...
"Don't worry about those, P'Jeab."
"Don't lie to me, Glai."
"I'm not lying, I just might not be telling everything." Glai said with a laugh before quickly entering the prayer room. Once inside, Glai adopted a respectful posture, just as his mother had taught him. He sat in the traditional way, bowed down to pay respects to the Buddha statue, then crawled over to offer a garland to the large Buddha statue. He then turned toward the back of the room to place another garland on his mother's urn. He looked at his mother's picture before speaking.
"Mom... the day after tomorrow is my birthday. This year, I'm turning twenty..."
"Please bless me, Mom."
"..."
"...And on that day, I hope you will congratulate Dad as well."
"..."
"I believe you'll be at peace knowing that Dad has someone to take care of him."
"..."
"I believe that too."
"..."
"Dad and I will always love and miss you."
"..."
"No matter where you are, I believe that our hearts will always be close."
The name "Glai Jai" was given to him by his mother. His mother said that "Glai Jai" meant...
"Our hearts will always be close."
But Glai thought...
For our hearts to be close to someone...
There must be something guiding it...
And that something is love.
Love makes our hearts close to each other.