---
Rurik and Dane stepped out of the treeline like they owned the whole forest. Bronze plates gleamed in the moonlight, their swords catching silver edges that made my bent Goblin Shiv look like a kitchen knife. They had the cocky swagger of adventurers who'd never once been caught half-naked in slime goo while clutching a frying pan.
Lucky them.
Rurik's smirk widened. He was tall, broad-shouldered, with a jagged scar across his jaw that he liked to show off as proof of his "glorious battles." "Well, well. If it isn't Kai the Slime Boy. What's this? Glitter in your hair? New perfume?"
Dane barked a laugh, his round belly jiggling under his armor. He always laughed too hard at his own jokes, spittle flying. "Gods, he really is talking to himself. You've finally snapped, rookie."
My face burned. The pan in my grip suddenly felt less like a weapon and more like an incriminating prop.
Chat (Viewers: 61,203):
"NPC bullies unlocked."
"Streamer humiliation arc begins!"
[SkeptiCam]: Paid actors. They even cast the jock stereotype."
"Streamer vs. Chad Party incoming!"
I raised my free hand like I was swatting gnats. "Shut up, shut up—!"
Of course, to Rurik and Dane, I looked like I was arguing with the trees.
---
Dane leaned close to Rurik, loud enough that I could hear. "Think he finally cracked after failing slime duty? All those slime farts went straight to his brain."
Rurik snorted. "Would explain the glitter. Maybe he's auditioning for a circus instead of adventuring."
System Alert: New Donation Received.
[ConfettiKing donated $2: Party Popper]
POP!
A spray of rainbow confetti burst above my head.
Rurik blinked. Dane howled with laughter.
"Oh no," I whispered, dread pooling in my stomach.
Chat (Viewers: 65,000):
"Streamer's reveal party!"
"Streamer unlocked Glitter Goblin subclass."
[GlitterFairy]: Yessss my people ✨✨✨ circus aesthetic achieved ✨✨✨
"I can't breathe, confetti killshot."
---
"Alright, listen," I stammered, clutching the pan tighter. "I can explain—"
System Alert: New Donation Received.
[ClownWorld donated $3: Clown Nose]
BONK.
A big red nose appeared, slapped itself to my face with a squeak.
Dane collapsed against a tree, wheezing with laughter. Rurik doubled over, tears running down his scarred face.
"This is—" he gasped. "This is the best thing I've ever seen. You're a walking joke, Kai."
To me, though, the nose wasn't funny—it was a nightmare. A sticker branded to my dignity, sealing me as the guild's permanent jester if anyone saw.
Chat:
"Streamer finally got his streamer nose."
"Circus arc."
[Mod_Gary]: Please stop with clown spam or you'll catch a 24h mute."
"NPCs bullying streamer while chat bullies harder = peak content."
---
Earth POV
In a cramped dorm room, two college kids sat hunched over a laptop. The moment the clown nose bonked onto Kai's face, they howled so hard one fell off his chair.
"Bro, this isn't CGI," one wheezed. "No way anyone fakes humiliation like that."
His roommate wiped tears from his eyes. "Nah, it's staged. But gods, it's hilarious."
A third voice chimed in from the Discord call: "No, seriously. That nose stuck on his face like it was real. I'm telling you, this isn't fake."
Another user typed furiously in chat: [HistoryNerd42]: First recorded clown in another world. Mark the date.
On Twitter, the tag #ClownStreamer was already climbing the trending list.
Elsewhere, a mid-tier YouTuber cut together Kai's "Clown Arc" into a highlight reel with dramatic music, while blogs reposted screenshots in rapid fire.
Their server exploded with screenshots: "Clown arc best arc."
---
I clawed the nose off, glaring at the glowing chat feed only I could see. "You're not helping!"
"Helping what?" Rurik demanded. "The voices in your head?"
My stomach twisted. If word spread that I was talking to thin air, my guild rep would nosedive from "rookie failure" to "lunatic liability."
I waved my hands frantically. "No! I was just—uh—motivating myself. It's a… technique."
Dane pointed at my "weapons." "Motivation with a frying pan and a bent shiv? Gods, Kai, you're pathetic. You'll be back on latrine duty by sunrise."
There was a flash of cruelty behind his laughter that chilled me. He didn't just want to mock me—he wanted me broken.
---
System Alert: New Donation Received.
[TorchBearer donated $5: Rusty Torch]
A small torch appeared, lit with a flickering flame. I nearly dropped it in surprise.
Dane raised a brow. "Where'd you get that?"
Think fast, Kai. "Uh… loot?"
Rurik squinted at me, suspicious. "Since when does a slime drop a torch?"
I swallowed. "Limited edition slime. Very rare."
Chat (Viewers: 70,000):
"LOOOOL slime drop torch."
"Streamer's improv is killing me."
[SkeptiCam]: Bad prop placement. Fire particle effect is low quality."
[CuriousViewer]: I dunno man… that flame looked real."
---
Then Dane noticed the goblin corpse at my feet. His laughter cut off.
"…Wait. Did you… kill this?"
Rurik blinked, eyes darting between me and the glitter-coated body. "No way. You? Alone?"
Heat rushed up my neck. "Well—yeah."
They stared.
Then Rurik barked a laugh. "Impossible. You probably found it dead or paid some hunter to leave it here."
"I did it!" I snapped, defensive. "With this pan!"
I raised the frying pan like a trophy. Glitter still sparkled on its dented surface.
Chat (Viewers: 72,000):
"PAN PROOF."
"Streamer killed goblin IRL KEKW."
[DivineQueen88]: Don't mock him! He fought hard! 💖"
[xXx420Blaze]: Bro got carried by chat donations. 100%."
[SkeptiCam]: Hired actor. That goblin's just stunt work."
---
Rurik snorted. "If you really killed this thing, then prove it at the guild."
Dane's grin turned cruel. "Yeah. Tomorrow, trial by combat. Show us in front of everyone, or we tell the whole guild you've gone mad—playing dress-up with glitter and talking to invisible spirits."
My blood froze. Trial by combat? In front of the entire guild?
I knew guild trials weren't jokes. They were brutal, designed to weed out the weak. Last year, rookie Jalen had been carried out on a stretcher, and no one ever saw him again.
I shivered. "Some rookies never come back," I whispered to myself.
And worse—everyone would be there to watch. Every sneer, every laugh, every whisper. It'd be a public execution of my dignity.
Chat (Viewers: 75,000):
"TRIAL ARC TRIAL ARC TRIAL ARC!"
"Streamer about to get exposed IRL."
[GlitterFairy]: Ooooh, public humiliation incoming ✨."
[Mod_Gary]: Reminder: don't harass NPCs. Be respectful."
---
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. If I said no, my reputation was dead. If I said yes, my body probably would be.
Rurik clapped me on the shoulder hard enough to rattle my bones. "See you at the guild, Slime Boy."
Dane smirked, wheezing laughter. "Bring your clown nose. You'll need it."
They left laughing, their bronze armor gleaming as they disappeared into the trees.
---
The chat went wild.
Chat (Viewers: 80,000):
"Guild quest accepted!"
"Streamer humiliation speedrun begins now."
"Streamer vs. NPCs hype."
[DivineQueen88]: Don't let them break you, Kai! We believe in you! 💖
[QuietWatcher]: Stand tall. They're not stronger than you think."
[SkeptiCam]: Scripted. Next episode they'll add fake audience extras."
"This is better than any Netflix show!"
I slumped against the nearest tree, pressing my forehead to the bark. My frying pan slid down to rest against my knee, still sticky with goblin gore and glitter.
Great. Just great.
I'd rather fight ten more disco goblins than face the entire guild tomorrow.
And tomorrow, the guild would decide whether I was an adventurer… or just a joke.
---