Ghost Money – Episode 4: "iPhone of the Gods"
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Cold Open
Ghost lay on Salina's couch, scrolling through his cracked iPhone. The screen had spiderweb cracks so bad it looked like a stained-glass window from hell. Half the time, tapping the screen registered as Morse code.
HUD dinged.
Balance Update: +$700. Total: $5,545
Ghost groaned. "I got five grand and I'm still living like a broke SoundCloud rapper. Time to invest."
He snapped his fingers. Money materialized, thick wads stacked in his lap.
Salina peeked out of her room. "Are you seriously printing money on my furniture again?"
Ghost smirked. "Relax. It's all legal. …ish."
She eyed the cracked iPhone. "At least buy a new phone. That thing looks like it survived Hiroshima."
Ghost paused. "…She's right."
Cue title card: "iPhone of the Gods."
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Act 1 – Phone Upgrade
Ghost strutted into the Apple Store, hoodie up, money hovering around him like he was a magician. The store clerks stared, wide-eyed.
Ghost slammed a wad of cash on the counter. "Give me the hottest iPhone out right now. Max storage. Max clout. I don't want no peasant version."
Clerk blinked. "Uh… you mean the iPhone 32 Pro Ultra Galactic Edition?"
Ghost smirked. "That one. Make it black. With a case that says Rich Forever."
Transaction: –$1,500.
Balance: $4,045.
HUD dinged: +50 XP (Life Upgrade Bonus).
Ghost raised the new phone, camera lenses glistening like diamonds. "Now this is how you catch cheaters in 8K."
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Act 2 – Infinite Missions Begin
The HUD flickered like a broken slot machine.
Mission Alerts: Infinite Queue Activated.
• "Check if my boss is stealing tips."
• "Find out if my neighbor stole my cat."
• "Is my Twitch mod secretly scamming me?"
• "Did my grandpa fake his death for insurance money?"
Ghost blinked. "Bruh… this is literally infinite side quests."
He cracked his knuckles. "Alright. Let's speedrun."
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Mission 1 – The Tip Thief
Ghost snuck into a restaurant kitchen, hiding by the ice machine. Sure enough, the boss was pocketing tip money. Ghost filmed him and exposed him in front of the staff.
Mission Complete. +800 XP. Level Up.
Rate: $800 every 30 min.
Balance: $4,845.
Ghost smirked. "Justice tastes like passive income."
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Mission 2 – The Cat Snatcher
Ghost climbed into a neighbor's yard and found a fat old lady dressing her neighbor's cat in baby clothes.
"Lady," Ghost said flatly, filming. "You stole Mr. Whiskers."
She hissed at him. Ghost slapped her with the truth. HUD dinged.
Mission Complete. +800 XP.
Balance Update: $5,645.
The cat meowed. Ghost grinned. "Another case closed. And I didn't even have to fight."
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Mission 3 – Twitch Mod Scam
Ghost infiltrated a streamer's Discord. He listened as a mod bragged about rerouting donations to his own account. Ghost filmed, leaked, and the chat exploded with chaos.
Mission Complete. +800 XP. Level Up.
Rate: $900 every 30 min.
Balance Update: $6,545.
Ghost laughed. "This iPhone paid for itself in one day."
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Act 3 – Street Fight Side Quest
The HUD dinged again.
Mission: Find out if street fighter cheats in underground tournaments.
Ghost arrived at a warehouse where two shirtless fighters brawled in a pit. One was juiced up on glowing injections.
Ghost shouted, "Yo, this dude's juicing! That's not natural!"
The fighter turned, snarled, and rushed him.
The crowd cheered. "New challenger!"
Ghost sighed. "Fine. Hands only."
The fighter swung heavy. Ghost ducked, jabbed, countered with a right hook that cracked ribs. The crowd went insane.
HUD dinged: Street Fight Bonus: +500 XP.
The juiced fighter collapsed, wheezing. Ghost spat on the floor. "Money beats steroids every time."
Mission Complete. +800 XP. Level Up.
Rate: $1,000 every 30 min.
Balance Update: $7,545.
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Act 4 – Dimensional IRS Returns
Back at Salina's, Ghost flexed with his new iPhone. Salina scrolled through it, impressed.
"This camera makes your beard look less dusty," she teased.
Ghost: "Keep playing. I'll charge you rent."
HUD glitched.
WARNING: Dimensional IRS Inbound.
Ghost groaned. "Again? Don't these demons have jobs?"
They crashed through the window—three new auditors, fists raised.
"You've been taking infinite missions, Ghost. That income is taxable!"
Ghost cracked his knuckles. "And these fists are deductible."
They lunged. Ghost weaved, countered, and brawled. One demon ate an uppercut so hard his horns flew off. Another got slammed into the wall. The last tried a cheap shot; Ghost stomped him into the floor.
HUD exploded: Boss Fight Bonus: +1,000 XP. Level Up.
Rate: $1,200 every 30 min.
Balance: $8,745.
Ghost wiped his knuckles. "File that under paid in full."
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Act 5 – Infinite Potential
Later that night, Ghost sprawled across the couch, iPhone glowing in his hand. His HUD ticked again.
Balance Update: +$1,200. Total: $9,945
Salina stared, jaw dropped. "You're almost at ten grand in a week."
Ghost smirked. "Almost? Baby, I'll be a billionaire by the season finale."
The HUD flickered again with dozens of new missions:
• "Is my barber talking shit about me?"
• "Is my landlord hiding from the cops?"
• "Is my wife cheating with herself in another dimension?"
Ghost laughed until tears rolled. "This never ends. I'm the interdimensional Maury show."
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Ending Gag
Ghost opened the fridge. Still no food. Just piles of hundred-dollar bills stuffed in Tupperware.
He sighed, grabbed one, and microwaved it. The bill caught fire instantly.
Ghost stared at the flames. "…Guess I'm ordering UberEats."
HUD: Balance: $9,945.