Ghost Money – Episode 5: "Ten Thousand Problems"
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Cold Open
Ghost lay across the couch, scrolling his new iPhone like it was a newborn baby. The HUD pulsed in the corner of his vision.
Balance Update: +$1,200. Total Balance: $11,145
He sat up, grinning. "Oh, we rich-rich now."
Salina walked in, hair in a messy bun, sipping iced coffee. She squinted at his screen. "You're still living on my couch with ten grand. That makes you a rich bum."
Ghost smirked. "Nah, I'm a luxury bum. There's levels to this."
HUD beeped: New Mission: Find out if landlord is lying about repairs
Ghost groaned. "Really? Rat hunting in apartments now?"
Salina: "Good. Maybe you'll fix the heat while you're at it."
Cue title card: "Ten Thousand Problems."
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Act 1 – Landlord Lies
Ghost stormed into a rundown apartment complex where a tenant claimed the landlord was scamming everyone.
Sure enough, the landlord sat in his office, feet up, eating Chinese takeout while a broken heater rattled in the corner. Ghost barged in.
"You lying sack of shit," Ghost said, filming. "You been collecting money for repairs and pocketing it?"
The landlord choked on his lo mein. "What the hell are you—"
Ghost slammed a stack of bills on his desk. "Caught you in 4K, buddy. Want me to send this to your tenants?"
HUD dinged: Mission Complete. +800 XP. Level Up.
Rate: $1,400 every 30 minutes.
Balance: $12,545.
Ghost grinned. "Justice is profitable as hell."
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Act 2 – Lifestyle Upgrade
Back home, Ghost scrolled Zillow on his iPhone. "Yo, I'm done with couch bum life. Time for an upgrade."
Salina perked up. "You're finally moving out?"
Ghost smirked. "No, I'm moving up. Watch this."
He toured a luxury high-rise the next day. Penthouse view, marble counters, jacuzzi tub.
The realtor smiled nervously. "Sir, this unit is… $7,000 a month."
Ghost snapped his fingers. $10K materialized in neat bands on the table. "Put me on the lease."
Transaction: –$7,000 (First Month + Deposit).
Balance: $5,545.
HUD flashed: +500 XP (Life Flex Bonus).
Ghost stood at the floor-to-ceiling windows, arms spread. "From broke to penthouse in a week. My haters can't breathe right now."
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Act 3 – Infinite Missions Flood
The HUD spammed with alerts as if it had a seizure:
• "Check if gamer friend is screen-peeking."
• "See if boss is stealing company snacks."
• "Find out if alien queen cheats at poker."
• "Is my priest sneaking OnlyFans subs?"
Ghost muttered, "Bruh, I'm about to start charging consultation fees."
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Mission Montage:
• He caught a gamer screen-peeking and exposed him mid-stream. (+800 XP → Balance: $6,345)
• Filmed a boss shoving office snacks into a duffel bag. (+800 XP → Balance: $7,145)
• Busted an alien queen hiding extra aces in her tail during poker night. (+800 XP → Balance: $7,945)
• Outed a priest for subbing to three different OnlyFans models. (+800 XP, Level Up → $1,600/30min. Balance: $9,545)
Ghost laughed so hard he almost choked. "I'm basically a one-man TMZ."
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Act 4 – Fist Fight in the Penthouse
Just as Ghost was relaxing in his jacuzzi, HUD warned him.
Dimensional IRS Elite Unit Incoming.
Ghost groaned. "Again? These demons obsessed with my bag."
They burst through his penthouse windows—bigger, buffer, pissed.
"You're living tax-free luxury while other dimensions starve!" one roared.
Ghost climbed out of the tub, dripping. "Yeah, and? That's a you problem."
They rushed. Ghost cracked his knuckles. "Hands only, IRS."
The brawl shook the penthouse. Ghost dodged, countered, slammed one demon through the kitchen island. Another he uppercutted so hard it hit the chandelier. The last tried to choke him; Ghost headbutted him until horns cracked.
HUD erupted: Boss Fight Bonus: +2,000 XP. Level Up.
Rate: $1,800 every 30 minutes.
Balance Update: $11,345.
Ghost wiped blood from his lip, grinning. "Another day, another tax deduction."
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Act 5 – The Ten-K Milestone
That night, Ghost lounged on his penthouse balcony, city lights glowing below. Salina FaceTimed him from her crappy apartment.
"You really moved out," she said, sipping wine. "And left me stuck with your mess."
Ghost held up a fat stack. "Don't worry, I'll send child support."
She flipped him off.
HUD pinged.
Balance Update: +$1,800. Total: $13,145
Ghost leaned back in his chair. "From couch bum to luxury king. And it's only episode five."
The HUD flickered, teasing dozens of new missions across universes: gods, aliens, exes, robots, even animals.
Ghost smirked. "Limitless side quests. Infinite bag."
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Ending Gag
Ghost opened his penthouse fridge. No food. Just champagne bottles filled with dollar bills. He sighed. "I'm rich but still starving."
He pulled out a bottle, popped it open, and poured money into a cereal bowl.
"Breakfast of billionaires."
HUD flashed: Balance: $13,145.