Ghost Money – Episode 3: "Cheaters Never Prosper"
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Cold Open
Ghost lounged on Salina's couch, scrolling his cracked iPhone. His HUD hovered in the corner of his vision like a clingy girlfriend.
Balance Update: +$500. Total Balance: $2,445
He grinned. "Hell yeah. I'm passively richer than half the country just by exposing hoes."
Salina walked in with her hair wrapped up, sipping coffee. "How are you suddenly rich but still look like trash?"
Ghost smirked. "Because wealth is internal, baby."
The HUD interrupted: New Mission: Gym Rat Suspected Cheater
Reward: 800 XP.
Ghost groaned. "At the gym? Ugh. I don't even like sweating unless it's during sex."
Salina threw a pillow at him. "Go earn your magical rent money."
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Act 1 – The Gym Rat Mission
Ghost strutted into a 24-hour gym, hoodie up, sweatpants sagging. The place reeked of protein powder and insecurity.
The target: a buff meathead named Kyle, who spent more time flexing in the mirror than lifting. His girlfriend had hired Ghost to find out if he was "faithful."
Ghost whispered, "Spoiler alert: no man named Kyle is faithful."
He followed Kyle to the locker room where, sure enough, Kyle was tongue-wrestling with another man's girlfriend in the showers.
Ghost muttered, "Caught in 4K, bitch." He filmed a few seconds, HUD dinged.
Mission Complete. +800 XP. Level Up.
New Rate: $600 every 30 min.
Balance: $3,045.
As he turned to leave, Kyle caught him.
"Yo, what the fuck you recording me for?"
Ghost grinned. "Because your girl paid me to, dumbass."
Kyle's veins bulged like sausages. He swung.
Ghost ducked, popped him in the jaw with a clean hook. Kyle staggered. Ghost smirked.
HUD flashed: Bonus XP: +100 (Street Fight Win).
Ghost shrugged. "Even the HUD respects these hands."
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Act 2 – The Cheater Brawl
Word spread fast. A crowd gathered around the gym floor.
Another meathead stepped up. "Yo, you filming people, bitch? That's disrespectful!"
Ghost cracked his knuckles. "So is your haircut."
The guy swung. Ghost dodged, uppercutted him into the protein shake counter. Shakes exploded everywhere, turning the floor into a sticky swamp.
HUD dinged: Bonus XP: +200.
The crowd started chanting: "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Three dudes rushed him at once. Ghost ducked, weaved, and threw combos. His fists were quick, dirty, fueled by thirty years of broke rage. He knocked one into the treadmill (it activated and yeeted him into the wall). Another got slammed into a squat rack.
Salina texted mid-fight: Don't get blood on my hoodie.
Ghost replied with one hand while punching a dude with the other: Bitch I'm working!
HUD: Bonus XP: +300. Balance: $3,645.
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Act 3 – The Cheating Couple
As Ghost dusted himself off, a woman in yoga pants approached.
"You exposed my boyfriend," she said, glaring. "So what, you think you're a hero?"
Ghost raised an eyebrow. "Lady, I'm not Batman. I'm more like Cash-man. Pay me and I'll snitch."
She swung at him. Ghost caught her wrist and spun her down in one move. The crowd gasped.
HUD dinged: Unarmed Combat Bonus: +150 XP.
Ghost sneered. "Equal rights, equal lefts."
The girlfriend spat, "You ruined my relationship!"
Ghost smirked. "No, your boyfriend ruined your relationship. I just livestreamed it."
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Act 4 – HUD Level Grind
The HUD spammed with notifications:
Mission Alert: Barista suspects cheating fiancé
Mission Alert: Alien thinks her cyborg husband is sneaking off
Mission Alert: Angel suspects demon lover
Ghost laughed. "Whole multiverse is horny and unfaithful. I'll be a billionaire by next week."
He knocked out mission after mission montage-style:
• Filmed a barista's fiancé making out in a car.
• Caught a cyborg husband sneaking into a strip club.
• Recorded an angel's demon boyfriend sneaking into a confessional booth.
HUD rained XP:
+800 XP. +800 XP. +800 XP. LEVEL UP!
New Rate: $700 every 30 min.
Balance Update: $4,345.
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Act 5 – No Weapons, Just Hands
Back home, Ghost chilled with pizza. HUD pinged again.
Dimensional IRS Returning. Stronger. Prepared.
Ghost groaned. "Not these clowns again."
The demons stormed his apartment. But this time, they weren't carrying calculators. They rolled up sleeves, fists clenched.
"Ghost," one growled. "You can't punch your way out of taxes."
Ghost smirked. "Bet."
They lunged. Ghost ducked, jabbed, and swung. It turned into a full WWE brawl in Salina's living room. He slammed one demon through the coffee table, put another in a chokehold, and kneed the last in the ribs until it coughed fire.
HUD dinged: Boss Fight Bonus: +1,000 XP.
Balance: $5,045.
The demons vanished, groaning about "filing extensions."
Salina emerged from her room, arms crossed. "You broke my table."
Ghost conjured $200, handed it over. "Furniture fund."
HUD: Transaction: –$200. Balance: $4,845.
Salina rolled her eyes but pocketed the cash. "At least you're useful now."
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Ending Gag
Later, Ghost opened the freezer. No food—just wads of cash frozen into ice cubes. He popped one into his soda and sipped.
"Rich people ice."
HUD flashed: Balance: $4,845. Next payout in 30 minutes.
Ghost grinned. "Level up, bitch."