The Witch of Frost
"Subaru."
"Mm…"
"Wake up, Subaru."
"Oh, Emilia-tan, that feels so good…"
"Subaru Natsuki, wake up this instant!"
"Gah!" Subaru shot out of bed, glaring at the angry cat spirit floating in front of him. "Geez, Puck. I'm normally a morning person, but I haven't slept in…" He made a show of counting off on his fingers. "…too many nights."
Puck crossed his arms, unrepentant. "I have no problems with that if it keeps you from having lewd dreams about Lia."
"Look, man. I just absorbed the Witch Factors of Lust, and I'll need a few days to settle down. Don't blame me for fantasizing about your gorgeous daughter."
"Why, you little—" Puck blinked, then blinked again. "Wait a minute, Witch Factors?"
"Huh? Didn't Emilia tell you what happened?"
Puck rubbed the back of his neck. "That's the thing. She's…not doing so well."
Subaru jumped out of bed and headed for the door.
"Wait, where are you going?" asked Puck, thrown off by the abrupt action.
"If Emilia's not well, then I'll fix it," her knight said. "Simple as that."
Puck grimaced. "I shudder to think about what that means after your little display."
Subaru glared at Puck. "I'd never take advantage of Emilia like that. I can't promise that I won't make comments here or there, but I swear that I'd never hurt her."
Puck searched Subaru's eyes. "You're not lying."
"Great," Subaru drawled. "Glad you approve. Let's go." Subaru threw open the door and entered Emilia's room.
"…Huh. Betty did refer to you as her contractor when she told me where to find you, but I didn't think you'd be able to use Door Crossing. I'm not sure how to think about your easy access to Lia's room." Puck raised an eyebrow, asking, "Are you sure you're not going to try anything risqué?"
"I wish," Subaru mumbled. Noticing Emilia lying on the bed, Subaru asked Puck, "You sure something's wrong with her? You should know better than anyone that she's terrible at waking up."
"This is different," he said, shaking his head. "She's awake, but in shock. It's like she's having a bad dream, but no dream has ever affected her this badly."
Subaru looked at Puck strangely. "Uh, Puck? I'd love more than anything to be the knight in shining armor that saves her from her woes, but why me? She has you to help her through anything."
"Clearly, I'm not enough," Puck responded morosely, "You're my only other option, and…I think she likes you. In, uh, that way."
Subaru turned back towards Emilia. "Yeah," he breathed. "She does."
Honestly, that was the craziest thing that's happened to him so far.
Subaru sat on the edge of the bed. Emilia's eyes were wide open, but it was obvious to anyone looking at her that she wasn't here.
"Hey, Emilia-tan," he whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. Damn, she was gorgeous.
'Bad Subaru,' he berated. 'Focus.'
He took a deep breath. "Want to tell me what's going on?" No response. He had half a mind to pull some stupid pose and make light of the situation, but he'd learned long ago that there was a time and a place for everything.
"You can sit here and mope," he said softly, "but it won't drive me away. I'm not going anywhere, Emilia. After all, we promised to get stronger. So, whatever's bothering you, let's face it together."
A mumble. He leaned in closer until his ear was right by her lips.
"Die."
He jumped a bit but instantly resumed his position. He needed to make sure he heard right.
"Die. Die. Die. Die."
He cursed. Puck flew over, worried. "What is it?" asked the spirit. "Did she say something?"
Subaru didn't respond. He was too busy thinking about what Emilia had once told him of her First Trial.
About Father Juice and Mother Fortuna. About Regulus and his assault. About the Witch of Frost and the freezing of Elior Forest. Those were all supposed to be locked away in her memories.
However, right now, Emilia was remembering Pandora. Subaru's blood boiled at the mere thought of that monster, but he squashed it down. What mattered right now was Emilia.
"You were right to get me, Puck," he said at length. "This is something only I can do."
"I'm not sure whether to feel relieved or hurt," Puck grumbled.
"Neither. She's remembering her past and has gone into shock as a result."
Puck eyed the knight-to-be warily. "How can you tell?"
Subaru briefly explained the events of the previous night and how he used True Face, the Authority of Lust, to try and transform her back. "But there was this wall of sorts. I had to break some of it to fix her. Looking back, I think it may have been a memory block. I can use True Face to remove the rest and help her through it, but—"
"Put it back," Puck growled.
Subaru whipped around to face Puck. "Put it back—What the hell are you talking about?"
"What do you think?" Puck asked angrily. "I'm telling you to put the memory block back."
"Are you insane?" Subaru asked incredulously. "These are uncharted waters. Who knows what that could do to her psyche?"
"Whatever it is, it's better than this," Puck shot back. "This isn't my daughter. This is a vegetable."
"Don't say that," Subaru snarled. "Don't you ever talk about Emilia like that. You have no idea what this poor girl's been through."
"And you do?" Puck challenged.
"Yes, I do! I know all of it! I know every damn thing that she's seeing right now!"
Puck's aura flared, and Subaru realized that he was treading dangerous waters. "How do you know that, Subaru?" Puck asked lowly. "Answer carefully."
Subaru took a deep breath; being heated would only get him killed. Keeping his tone even, he said, "Use your empathy, Puck. You'll see that I'm not lying."
"I know you're not," Puck said ruefully. "That's why I'm asking you how you know. Since the beginning, you've known things you shouldn't. Lia may be willing to overlook it, but I'm not."
"Puck, wait—"
"So, I will ask you one more time." With his aura increasing ten-fold, Puck asked, "How do you know what Lia's seeing?"
Subaru hesitated. If he told Puck, the Witch would kill him. If he lied, Puck would kill him. So, there was only one answer.
The one he always gave. The one he hated to give.
"I can't tell you."
A razor-sharp icicle formed at Subaru's throat. "Then answer me this," Puck demanded, his voice echoing around the room in a manner that was all too familiar. "Who are you, really?"
He was Subaru Natsuki, who had died dozens of times to save the ones he loved.
He was Flugel the Sage, a despicable monster.
Right now, neither of those mattered.
"I'm Emilia's one and only knight," he proclaimed. "I want what's best for her, just like you do."
The icicle didn't move.
Well aware of how close to death he was but desperate to help Emilia, Subaru pleaded, "Listen, Puck. This won't go away. Even if the memory block was successfully put back, it will just come to haunt her later, and this…" He gestured to Emilia's prone form. "…will be even worse."
The intense pressure in the room decreased slightly, but the icicle held firm. "You don't know Lia," Puck insisted. "She's innocent and delicate. She's not ready for this."
"She is ready," Subaru shot back. "What she needs right now is for someone to help her through her trauma."
"You have no idea what my daughter needs!" yelled Puck. "She's too young! She needs someone to shield her from—"
"Emilia killed someone last night."
Puck wavered. "Wh-what?"
"What, you thought I killed Elsa?" Subaru chuckled disparagingly. "Please, I can't do shit by myself. Emilia lopped off Elsa's head and gave a badass one-liner."
Puck reeled back; the mere idea that his daughter was capable of such a thing shook him to the core. "B-but she—"
"The same thing happened against Capella," Subaru continued. "If not for her ability to regenerate, that would have been it."
"S-shut up," Puck said desperately as if hoping that would undo Emilia's actions.
"Emilia's not a child, anymore. It's time to stop coddling her. Let her be the strong, incredible woman she's meant to be."
"I said shut up!" Puck's cry reverberated throughout the room, but the crystal at Subaru's throat had disappeared.
Subaru's eyes softened as he realized that the danger had passed. "I know this is hard, Puck," he soothed.
"You know nothing about being a father," Puck said scathingly.
Pain flashed across Subaru's face. "That's not true," he said quietly. "I certainly don't know how to be a good father…but I loved that kid like my own."
Puck faltered. "Wh-what are you going on about?"
Subaru shook his head to clear it and put his mask back on. "I'm just saying that it's not hard to figure out how you're feeling right now. I know that you feel powerless and you want Emilia to be the same little girl that you vowed to protect. I know that what's even worse is that you're no longer her primary source of comfort and that you're handing that role off to a boy she has a crush on."
Puck backed away from Subaru with his head bowed. "Maybe…you do know something about all this."
Subaru chuckled. "Hey, remember this moment fondly," he said lightly. "One day, I'll be coming to you complaining about some boy taking away my daughter."
"Don't even say that!" yelled a wide-eyed Puck. "Too soon, too soon!"
Subaru chuckled. "All right, grandpa. I won't talk about a little quarter-elf with silver hair and dark-brown eyes."
Puck groaned in pain. "You're the worst, Subaru."
"In other words, we're good?"
At length, Puck said, "Yeah. We're good. I won't stop you from removing the memory block." He glared as he gave a final warning. "But none of…of…that stuff until marriage."
Subaru gasped dramatically, barely attempting to conceal his grin. "Wait, I have your blessing to marry Emilia-tan? Sweet!"
"That's not—Ugh! I'm going to go visit Betty." He flew away, but not before giving one last warning. "If you do…whatever it is you're going to do, and Lia's in an even worse state—"
"Then you can kill me."
Puck paused at the look in Subaru's eyes. "You actually mean that. That's…kind of worrisome. You know I wasn't joking, right? This isn't an 'oh, I'll go kill that boy who's getting close to my daughter' kind of thing. If she gets hurt by this, you will die."
Subaru nodded. "If I fuck this up, or if I ever hurt her, then I'll be waiting with open arms. However, that moment won't come. I'm going to save her." He shot a thumbs-up at Puck, saying, "You can count on it!"
"…Okay. I'm trusting you."
In the back of Subaru's mind, he realized that Puck was no longer talking exclusively about the memory block. With a confident grin, he turned to the catatonic Emilia and activated True Face.
A sense of peace overcame him, and the world around him fell away. All that was left was the gentle tendrils of his Authority and the beautiful, amazing woman in front of him. He reached out and found the wall that was blocking her memory. Brick-by-brick, he gently convinced each piece to fade away. Within the last brick was a snow globe. He had seen one before, sure, but none were quite as captivating as this.
Taking a deep breath, he plunged. He found himself in a world of white, ravaged by a never-ending blizzard.
A world destroyed by the Witch of Frost.
Gentle sobbing reached his ears, and he walked forward at a steady pace. There was no rush, no hurry. Only peace remained.
In front of him was the one who brought this place to ruin. The one who, in her rage, doomed the forest's inhabitants to a state that was not quite death, but far from living. He kneeled before her and stroked her cheek with one hand as the other wiped away her tears.
"Say, let's talk, Emilia-tan."
Die.
What was happening? Why did Mother Fortuna look like that? Why was Father Juice acting so scary?
Die.
There's so much blood. It wouldn't come off. Why was it snowing? Why was Mother's skin so cold?
Die.
Juice wasn't himself. Something happened because of that white-haired man. What was that black sludge?
Die.
She didn't understand. Where was she? Mother…why wasn't Mother breathing?
Die.
This wasn't right. Something was missing. This wasn't real, right? It's just a bad dream. This wasn't her fault.
Die.
A voice pierced through her tumultuous thoughts, distracting her from the cold.
"Say, let's talk, Emilia-tan."
It was a familiar male voice, but she didn't know it, did she? It was not Father Juice, Archi, or any of the other elves. Who was it?
"It's okay now," he soothed. "Your knight is here. We'll get through this together."
Her knight? A worthless being like her had a knight?
Why did she feel so warm when she was covered in snow?
"I've never used the Authority of Greed like this," he admitted sheepishly, "but I might be able to take on some of your emotional burden. It won't remove the pain, but it will help you process it better."
Authority? What—
Her senses returned to her, sending her reeling. She collapsed face-first into the snow, only to be gathered up in familiar arms.
"I got you," he whispered into her ear.
"Subaru?" she asked shakily, desperately hoping that it was him. "Is that you?"
With a fond smile, he said, "Yeah, it's me."
"What's going on? Where are we? Why is it snowing? Where's Mother Fortuna?"
"Just take a deep breath," he instructed gently. "What's the last thing you remember?"
She thought as hard as she could. "I was in the Princess Room," she said slowly. She blinked as she realized, "I don't…I don't know what that is. Maybe…I was having lunch with Mother Fortuna? Wait, I don't—I've never met my mother!"
Thoroughly shaken, she turned to him and whispered, "I'm scared…I don't understand what's happening."
She was on the verge of hyperventilating, but he remained calm. "You're in shock right now," he explained. "Why don't I jog your memory?"
It took some time, but eventually, he managed to catch her up to speed, including what he discovered about her memory block.
"I see," she mumbled. "Yes, I do remember a bit of that, I think. I'm sorry…I'm all jumbled up right now."
"No one says 'jumbled' anymore, Emilia-tan."
"They should," she shot back. "It's a useful word."
He smiled at her. "That's my Emilia-tan. You're so silly."
Your Emilia-tan, she mouthed. She shot a glare at him. "You dummy, you forgot what happened afterward!"
He chuckled. "Look who's talking. And hey, I would never forget that. I just didn't want to overwhelm you even more than I already was."
"And you didn't think that it might make me feel better?" she asked incredulously. "Don't you realize how happy you made me?"
He looked shocked, and a moment later, he disappeared.
Cold. Cold. Cold. What's happening?
Die.
The key. She had the key. All she had to do was open the door. But Mother…Mother was hurt…
Die.
She gasped as her senses returned to her once again.
"I'm sorry, Emilia," Subaru said quietly, appearing in front of her once again. "This place…It's not exactly real, so I'm not really here, if that makes sense."
"Y-You left," she cried, still disoriented. "Wh-Where…why?"
"I didn't mean to," he responded. "From what I can tell, True Face puts me in a sort of trance. I feel nothing but peace and love. I'm basically a hippie."
"A-A what?"
"Don't worry about it," he waved off. "The point is, you surprised me, so I was knocked out of my trance."
"I don't understand. You were surprised that I wanted to remember you like me?" He nodded and she huffed. "Well, it made me reeaally happy, and don't you forget it. We're going to work on that self-esteem of yours, mister."
With a cheeky grin, he told her, "Hey, Pot? This is Kettle. I just wanted to tell you that you're black."
"I don't know what that means, but it disappoints me to know that it's probably stupid." She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "It's sooo cold…Can we, um, get out of here?"
He shook his head. "I've experienced something like this before," he confessed. "To leave, you have to overcome your past or fail."
She looked away as she bitterly muttered, "In other words, you're going to sit here and watch me fail."
He put his finger under her chin, gently guiding her to look into his eyes. "None of that defeatist attitude," he said softly. "You're stronger than you believe. You just need to unlock that strength."
Warmth flooded her, but she shoved it down. "You don't know that! All I've ever done is fail! I'm always relying on others, so I've never done anything for myself! You're…you're putting your faith in the wrong person!"
She wanted him to yell at her and tell her that she was horrible, but he simply looked at her with the same serene smile. At length, he said, "You know, one of my favorite things to do is prove people wrong when they have no faith."
"Y-yeah," she muttered before perking up. She was glad he understood. "Yeah, exactly! So—"
"So, I'm going to stand right here and prove you wrong. You're going to take this trial, and you're going to come out on top."
For a moment, she stared at him blankly. Immediately after, she broke down laughing. As her giggles died down, she said, "You're…you're so—"
"Amazing?" he interrupted. "Hilarious? Charming?"
"Subaru!" she exclaimed.
"What?"
"No, I mean, you're so Subaru."
"My name is an adjective?" he asked, amused. "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"
With a blinding smile, she said, "A reeaally good thing." She held out her hand, so he took it. "Come on, my Subaru. I'm going to kick this trial in the tooshie."
"Okay, seriously, nobody says that anymore."
She was filled with his warmth, and the snow melted.
Subaru took in the scenery for a moment before his eyes landed on a small figure. "Is that…"
"It's me," Emilia confirmed. "I was…maybe six years old?"
He gave a massive grin. "Don't tell Beako I said this, but you are officially the cutest loli to have ever existed."
"I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means."
Then, a newcomer entered the room, and Emilia became much more serious. "So, that's my mother," she whispered. "I remember her. She's beautiful."
"I thought she was your aunt," he said. "I mean, you just called her 'Aunt Fortuna.'"
She nodded before thinking better of it and shaking her head. "A mother is someone who holds you when you're scared, kisses you when you're sad, and loves you no matter what. Mother Fortuna is not my aunt."
He squeezed her hand, and that strange warmth flooded through her again.
"The way we're seeing this is so odd," he mused as Young Emilia was locked in the Princess Room yet again. "It's literally through your eyes, but we're right behind those eyes. It's like watching someone else's recording of a VR simulation."
"I don't know what that is, but I don't see the problem with how we're viewing my memory," she pointed out. "It's disorienting, yes, but what did you expect?"
He rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. "I expected a third-person perspective where we could walk around and view events happening, even if you weren't there."
"Dummy."
They watched as the spirits led Young Emilia out of the Princess Room. When Mother Fortuna referred to the hooded man by name, Subaru vanished.
Cold. Blood everywhere. The key.
Die.
She needed to open the door. She—
…No.
She was stronger than this. She was better than this.
Her senses returned to her, but Subaru was not there.
As Young Emilia scrambled back into the Princess Room, Subaru appeared next to her. "You're okay," he noted, utterly calm.
"Mhm. I am," she said, surprised at her own honesty. "A bit shaky, but I'm okay." She cast him a sideways glance. "What, um, 'knocked you out of your trance' this time?"
"Surprise again," he admitted. "I had my suspicions about Geuse, but to actually see him startled me."
"Suspicions about Juice?" she asked surprised. "You knew him?"
He laughed at her and she scowled. "What is it? Don't tease me! You know something, don't you?" she accused.
"Sort of," he evaded. "I promise to tell you everything I know when this is over."
She sighed and grabbed his hand once again, knowing she'd get nowhere by prying.
"It's just…'Juice'?" he asked with suppressed laughter. "Seriously?"
"Huh?"
"Seems like EMT needs to see the ENT for that hearing loss. His name is 'Geuse,'" he corrected.
"O-oh," she muttered with a blush. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," he said, waving her off. "Hey, check it out! 'Juice' is flirting with your mom!"
"What?! No, he's not!" Her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her. "Oh, no…He is flirting with my mom! Hey, creepy old guy! That's my mom! I won't have you cavorting about with her!"
"No one says that in this day and age."
"Yes, they do!"
"Nope. And for the record, you were mumbling about 'Father Juice' when I found you."
Emilia's eyes widened as Young Emilia glared at Geuse with childlike hatred. Could things get any worse?
They got worse. Much worse.
Emilia let go of her short-lived distaste for Geuse a bit earlier than Young Emilia did. He was an odd fellow, but he was charming in a way, too. Slowly but surely, she found herself cheering him on whenever he made Mother Fortuna blush and felt frustrated when he maintained his obliviousness.
Subaru called it 'shipping.' Emilia didn't understand.
She assumed that it meant getting attached to people because not long after, she felt her heart split in two.
She was scared. Confused. Angry.
Devastated.
When the white-haired man and silver-haired woman—Regulus and Pandora, she vaguely recalled—appeared, Subaru vanished. He'd pop in and out, but the rapid usage of his Authority was taking a toll on both their psyches.
When Geuse said the words, "I'm sorry, Master Flugel," and absorbed the writhing black stuff, Subaru left.
He didn't come back.
Emilia didn't blame him. She couldn't feel peace and love when watching her father figure go insane. She couldn't feel happy watching her mother bleed to death. The sights in front of her assaulted her mind, tormenting her and demanding she give up.
'It's because of you,' they said. 'They're dead because of you.'
Maybe that was true. A week ago, she would have caved and left it at that.
But this wasn't a week ago. This was now, and she had made a promise to become stronger. So, she looked beyond.
She saw the looks on her parents' faces. She saw their love and determination to protect those they cared about. She heard Father Geuse cry out her name. She felt Mother Fortuna wrap her arms around Young Emilia and apologize.
Regulus and Pandora were here because of Young Emilia. She didn't know why, but they were. There was so much she didn't understand about what was happening.
What she knew for sure was that her mother and father died on their terms.
It saddened her, but she could accept it.
"Die."
It was no longer a whisper, tormenting her when the memory world began to suffocate her. Now, it came from her lips in tandem with her younger self.
"Die."
For the first time, Emilia knew hatred.
'Die, Pandora.'
The Witch of Frost. How fitting.
"I swear, I will kill you."
Emilia closed her eyes, and the world of her memories fell away.
She opened her eyes in the real world, a mess of emotions.
She had a family. Her family was gone.
And right beside her was her beloved knight, bawling into the sheets.
She didn't know what was wrong, but she knew what to do. She had read in an old journal that a source of comfort for a romantic interest was a lap pillow. Surely, that was the least she could do after everything Subaru had done for her.
His hair tickled her thighs, but his cries had eased somewhat. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm here now."
"I'm sorry," he responded brokenly.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," she soothed.
"I-I left you in there," he protested.
She stroked his hair. "I was fine because you helped me."
"Bullshit," he growled. "I was no help at all. I put you there."
"You gave me the strength to keep fighting." She smiled fondly at him. "I'm here now because of you."
"S-stop—"
"I care about you, Subaru. You make me a better person. I just wish I could help you like you help me."
"Cut the crap," he shouted, shooting up into a sitting position. "I left you there for four hundred years! I'm such a—"
"Shh…" She gently pulled him down back into her lap, stroking his hair as she did so. "Just relax, okay? You're confused after using your power so much."
He blinked a few times, his tears slowing down to a crawl. "Y-yeah," he mumbled. "Silly me. Can I, uh, stay like this for a little longer?"
"Of course. Stay as long as you need. I'm here for you, Subaru."
He smiled at her, and she swore her heart skipped a beat. Did this man have any idea of the effect he had on her? "You really are amazing," he said softly, "you know that?"
"That's sweet of you, but I think you're much more amazing."
"Heh, you're just obligated to say that." He yawned, the emotional exhaustion getting to him. Honestly, wasn't she the one who just faced her past? Her knight could be such a dummy sometimes. "I'm…gonna nap for a bit…"
"That's okay. I'll be right here."
He leaned into her touch as he mumbled, "Thanks for everything, Ella."
Emilia's breath hitched. That name…
"Are you sure your name isn't Ella?" Reinhard had asked her after viewing Subaru's memories, and now Subaru confused her with "Ella." Did they…look similar?
She hoped her thoughts were going in the wrong direction.
Emilia was said to be the spitting image of the Witch of Envy. Subaru briefly thought she was "Ella."
He was intimately familiar with the inner workings of the Witch's Cult. He hated the Cult.
He had the power of the Witches of old.
"Subaru." She brushed her thumb across his cheek, coaxing his eyes open. "I need to ask you something."
"Huh? Wassup?"
She could never hate him. She had only known him for a couple of weeks, yet she already knew that to be a fact. She adored her knight, and that wouldn't ever change.
He was important to her. He made her feel warm. She didn't fully understand it, but she knew for sure that he was special to her in a way that no one else was.
…But she was starting to question if she really knew the man in front of her.
"Subaru…who is Ella?"