Interlude—Home
The healing process was long and arduous, but it just so happened that his nurse had the best bedside manner ever. "And the best hair, eyes, face, and personality," he listed off, making a show of counting using his fingers.
"Stop teasing me," said Satella with a huff. "I'm doing what anyone would do."
He flexed his arm, admiring how smooth the movement was. "Yeah, no. Most people can't build a body from using magic, giving me fucking superpowers in the process."
She flushed and mumbled, "W-well, if they could, then I'm sure that others would—"
"Stay by my side for the entire healing process and become my closest friend?" he finished for her, rolling his eyes at her modesty. "Give me a break. Why can't you just accept that you're an excellent person?"
She refused to look at him. "You're sweet, honestly, but you're wrong. You'll see that someday."
"And someday, I'll prove that you're incredible." He didn't understand how she could possibly think she was anything but perfect.
Her eyes drooped, so he cursed himself for putting such a look on her angelic face. "'Tis a waste of effort. Mother always said—" She stopped abruptly and shut her mouth, her teeth making an audible clicking noise.
"What about your mom?" he asked. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch what you were saying."
She shook her head and plastered a smile on her face. "I said she's back from her meeting with the Vollachian emperor."
He didn't believe her, but he could recognize when someone was changing the topic. "A little rendezvous with a king, huh? She sounds important."
"Mhm. Countless world leaders look to Mother for her wisdom."
"Well, I gotta say, I'm looking forward to meeting her," he said with a grin. "Heh, if she looks anything like her daughter, she'll be an absolute knockout."
"I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means."
He rolled his eyes. "It means, 'You're beautiful, Ella.'"
She blinked. "Ella?"
"My compliment went ignored! Oh, the agony!" He placed the back of his hand on his forehead and pretended to faint, much to her confusion. "At any rate, I figured it was about time to give you a nickname to represent our budding closeness."
"O-oh," she mumbled, blushing slightly. Could this girl get any cuter?
"I mean, if it's an issue—"
She shook her head rapidly, her cascading silver hair following the motion. "'Tis…nice. I like it. Ella," she echoed as if tasting the name. "A-anyway, about Mother: she doesn't look like me at all."
He hummed and put his hand on his chin. "I see, I see. So, you take after your father?"
"I wouldn't know," she confessed. "I've never met him or my birth mother."
He sobered. "Ah. You're an orphan."
"Abandoned," she corrected, though he failed to see the difference. "My only memory of my birth parents is of their backs as they left me in an alleyway."
Not a single tear fell from her amethyst eyes, though the pain in them was immense. His heart broke for her. Had she been holding onto this pain for all this time? "Oh, Ella…"
"I was on the streets for most of my life," she explained flatly. "No one was willing to help a halfling, so I had to…Well, 'twas hard to find food in a lawful manner. I had uncontrollable magic, too, so that didn't help my situation. Wise and powerful magicians were hated, so what chance did a child have?"
Her eyes lost their focus as she looked somewhere behind him. "Mother—the one you'll meet—took me in when I was eleven. I was starved and on death's door, and my magic was destroying everything around me. Mother came and saved me from that, granting me food, clothes, and a home. If that wasn't enough, she taught me how to control my powers."
She looked at him earnestly, emphasizing every word. "I owe her so much."
He reached out and grasped her hand. "I understand," he told her, his voice thick with emotion.
Her head shot up. "You do?" she asked hesitantly as if no one had ever said such words to her.
"Not the magic part," he quickly clarified. "My world didn't have anything like that, but I know what it's like to be homeless and alone. Slept in alleyways, ate out of dumpsters, all that shit. I'd love to say that someone came and saved me, but no one did. I mean, the librarian was nice enough. She taught me how to read, and I spent most of my time learning everything I could, but it's not like she could take me in. It's expensive, you know? Even when I got older, I couldn't get a job because nobody wanted to hire a homeless person. Tried for years, but it never worked out. Eventually, I just…wished for it to be over, and found myself here."
"Th-that's not fair," she exclaimed as she scrunched up her long, black dress, tears forming in her eyes. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that!"
"Look who's talking, Ella. But hey, it's over now." He smiled at her fondly. "I have you now, and you have me."
She sniffed, but her eyes softened, nonetheless. "I suppose that's true," she whispered. She squeezed his hand. "Although I wish the circumstances weren't so…gruesome, I'm glad you came into my life. And…"
"And what?"
"And I now understand why you gave me a false name," she admitted. "You wanted a fresh start, don't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," he stubbornly insisted.
"Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes. "You were silent for a long time, then slowly said 'Flugel.' It sounded like you were choosing your name instead of telling me it."
Flugel sighed. "Well, I'm not sure what to tell you," he admitted. "I was reading a light novel and there was a race of angels called flugels. When I first saw you, I literally thought you were an angel."
At her confused look, he grinned at her, cheekily saying, "What can I say? You're just that beautiful."
She frowned. "I'm not sure what a 'light novel' is, but I'm not beautiful," she said forcefully as if such thoughts would only hurt him.
"Yes, you are," he insisted but dropped it for the time being. "Tell you what: I'll give you my name on two conditions. One, you're the only person that gets to know it; it'd be our little secret, and I've always wanted a codename. Two, you go on a date with me."
She blushed again and it looked like she was about to respond positively when a new voice broke through their touching moment. "So, this is the man I've heard so much about. How interesting."
Satella jumped in her seat. "Mother!" she cried. "'T-tis not what it looks like!"
"You make it sound so scandalous," Flugel grumbled good-naturedly. The woman—Satella's adoptive mother, apparently—could be described with two words: white and black. She had porcelain skin, snow-white hair, and a flowing black dress that covered her entire body.
"Greetings," she said, her black eyes never leaving his prone form. "I am Echidna, the Witch of Greed. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Is this necessary, I wonder?" asked Beatrice with her face flushed.
"Of course, it is," replied Subaru. "It's a sacred bonding technique from my homeland."
"Being carried on your shoulders is sacred, I suppose?" she deadpanned.
He shifted her into a more comfortable position. "Yup. Fathers do it with their daughters all the time."
"D-daughter?" she sputtered. "B-but I'm older than you, in fact!"
He thought for a moment before saying, "Eh, you're about two-thirds right."
"Huh?"
"Don't worry about it," he said dismissively as he glanced around the mansion's hallway. "Hey, so, I can teleport if I'm maintaining physical contact with you, right?"
"It's limited and uses a lot of mana, but yes, I suppose. It's easiest if we're close to the Forbidden Library. If we're far away from it, you could only travel a short distance, I suppose."
"And what about Door Crossing?" he asked hopefully. "Can I use that?"
"Only within the mansion, in fact," she answered. "You can connect any two doors, I suppose."
A grin threatened to split his face in two. "Sweet."
"Stop your perverted thoughts, in fact," she scolded. "I'll tell Emilia, I suppose."
"Have a little faith in me. I was thinking about how easy it'll be to grab a midnight snack."
She paused, as if unable to believe his gall. "You would use Betty's sacred power…for a midnight snack."
"Yeah. Is there a problem?"
"The problem is you're stupid, Subaru. Hmph!"
He laughed and turned towards the nearest door. "Today, I'm going to do what every lazy nerd can only dream of." He grabbed onto the handle and opened it dramatically. Despite being on the other side of the mansion, he entered the Knight's Quarters. "Awesome! I just fast traveled!"
She wrinkled her nose as she grouched, "It smells like dead bodies and rats, I suppose." Her eyes widened as she took in the scene. "Oh."
"'Oh' is right." He set her down as he slowly made his way past Elsa's headless body and to the cowering trio of rats.
"Don't worry, it's just me," he soothed, kneeling. "I came back as soon as I can."
Two of them stopped their shaking, but one tried to dart away. He snatched it up and held it at eye level as it squirmed.
'I bet a million yen that this is Ram.'
Reaching deep within himself, he searched for the ugly, writhing power that existed inside him. It was the same sensation as when he used Invisible Providence, so he knew exactly where to look.
…He didn't find it.
Instead, he found…something else. Something pure. If anything, it felt more like Cor Leonis—it was selfless and helpful, giving and not taking. It was the Authority of Lust, but it was not Capella's Variation and Change, nor Carmilla's Faceless Bride.
He latched onto that power, marveling at the soft threads. He felt calm, content. Everything would be all right. He closed his eyes and wrapped his power around Ram, unraveling her twisted Od. Slowly, lovingly, he allowed her to show her True Face.
A gasp came from in front of him, and he opened his eyes. Ram, in human form, clutched her heart as she heaved.
"Wh-what happened?" she asked in a panic. "I can't—"
He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Shh…It's okay. Just breathe. Everything is okay now."
A single pink eye glared at him from under her fringe as she snarled, "R-Rem. She's—"
"She's all right," he told her.
"No, she's not!" she barked. "My sister is a rat right now, Barusu!"
"You were, too," he pointed out. "I saved you, didn't I?"
"But—"
He wrapped her in a hug, cutting off her protest. She yelped and pushed him away. "Get your hands off me, you filthy pervert!"
He didn't get mad or bicker. He simply sent a smile her way. "I'm glad you're okay," he said softly.
She blinked, thrown off guard by the unexpected affection. "Oh," she muttered. "Yes, I am okay." She looked like she was about to insult him again, but instead picked up one of the other rats and handed it to him wordlessly. He cradled what was undoubtedly Rem in his arms, feeling completely at peace.
The Authority of Lust was once a devastating ability. Faceless Bride enthralled someone so deeply, they forgot to breathe. Variation and Change forcibly transformed a person into something they were never meant to be.
With Subaru, it was different. Under the right circumstances, he could transform a twisted being to its natural state. Such was the power of the Authority of Lust, True Face.
He held Rem tight as she collapsed into him, shaking. He whispered into her ear, telling her how glad he was that she was safe. She was important to him. He cared about her.
"I-I care about you, too," she declared. Her eyes widened and she began to panic. "Capella! She's—where did she go? She was just here! Wh-what happened, Subaru?"
With a light chuckle, he said, "Capella won't be bothering us anymore."
She gaped at him. "You defeated a Sin Archbishop?" she asked in awe.
"Hah, I wish." He stuck a thumb towards Beatrice. "It was our favorite magical nuke that took her down."
Beatrice huffed and turned away. "My contractor is too humble, I suppose," she grumbled. "It is because of him that Lust is gone, in fact."
"Nuh-uh. All I—"
A soft hand on his arm stayed his words. You were really brave, weren't you?" whispered Rem with a blinding smile on her face. "You saved us all. You're a hero, Subaru."
Her words from another life reverberated through his mind. "Show me how awesome you can be, Subaru!"
He choked up, for that wasn't him, and this wasn't her, and it's not, he wasn't—
Ram cleared her throat. "We should rest, Rem." Rem nodded, and the two walked out of the room, leaning on each other in exhaustion. As they reached the door, Ram gave Subaru a nod of respect, as Rem gave another brilliant smile.
'I won't let anything happen to you this time, Rem,' he vowed.
Subaru turned to the final rat, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Beatrice, sensing that he wanted to handle this one alone, went back to her library.
Lust had many aspects, and so did its Authority. Faceless Bride represented obsession with the object of one's attraction. Variation and Change represented the infinite possibilities of one's preference.
True Face represented love, and the desire to see the person underneath the mask.
He had never felt so calm, so sure of himself. Using True Face, he began to heal Emilia but soon came upon a wall. He pushed against it, but it would not budge. He tapped around like the wall was made of Jenga blocks, and eventually found a loose one. He dove through and reached Emilia's Od. With love, he gently unraveled Capella's magic.
A weeping silver bell brought him back to reality as he gathered Emilia in his arms. "You're okay, Emilia-tan," he soothed. "I'm here now."
"N-no! Watch out! She'll—" She pushed him off in a panic, then looked around the room in confusion. "Wh-what—"
"Capella's gone now," he whispered. "You're safe now."
"B-but…how?" she asked in disbelief. "She can't—"
"Can't die?" he finished for her. "Well, that's normally true…"
And so, he told her everything (excluding the parts about Satella, of course): how Capella almost killed him, how he contracted with Beatrice, how Capella turned into a dragon, and finally, about the black hole.
"You did all that?" she whispered in awe. "You really are amazing."
A shadow covered her eyes as she resumed sobbing in earnest. "A-and that whole time, I was so useless…I'm s-so sorry, Subaru," she whispered brokenly. "If I was more careful—"
He smiled as he cupped her cheek. "None of that. It's pointless to consider."
"But I failed," she insisted. "I couldn't protect you. I'm…I'm pathetic."
He brushed the tears out of her eyes, asking her, "So, what are you going to do about it?"
Her eyes widened. "Wh-what?"
"If I were Puck, I would simply tell you that you're strong. And you know what? I completely agree. Just now, you defeated one of the most feared criminals in Lugunica, and you stood toe-to-toe with a Sin Archbishop. However, there's always more to the story. For all your strength, you're weak. For every success, there's a failure. As you are now, there will be situations that you can't surpass." He smiled softly and looked into her eyes, trying to convey his absolute faith in her. "So, I will ask you again. What are you going to do about it?"
For a moment, She looked like she was about to cry again, but her eyes steeled with determination. "I'll become stronger," she promised. "I will gain the power to protect those I care about."
"That's the spirit!" he exclaimed. He stood up and held out his hand. "We'll get stronger together, Emilia-tan. You'll be the best queen Lugunica's ever had, and I'll become a knight worthy of standing by your side."
A smile danced across her lips, and his breath hitched. Even as a sobbing mess, she was an angel. Like a silver bell, she whispered, "You're already worthy, you dummy." She took his offered hand and paused, looking at it strangely.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Um, yeah, it's just…" She brushed her thumb over his palm. "…you have nice hands. I'd like to hold them again."
He blushed furiously as he stammered, "Emilia-tan, you can't just say that to me, especially not with that cute face of yours!"
She tilted her head in confusion. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand. All I said is that I want to hold your hand."
"Gah! EMT, you're so damn innocent and adorable!" He took a deep breath. "You know what? I'm feeling great, and there's no time like the present, so I'm just gonna say it."
Posing in the same manner as when he first asked her name, he solemnly declared, "I like you, Emilia."
"I knew that," she said bluntly. "We're friends."
He slapped a hand to his chest and gasped as loud as he could. "Unknowingly friendzoned by Emilia-tan? Totally expected, but hurts, nonetheless." He didn't expect anything, of course, but it felt nice to get it off his chest. "I'm saying I like you as more than a friend."
She blinked. "Huh?"
He huffed in mock-annoyance. "I almost forgot how clueless you could be," he grumbled good-naturedly. "I'm saying that I like you romantically."
"B-but—"
"You're kind, selfless, strong, drop-dead gorgeous, hard-working, and fun to be around. I like you a lot, and I feel like I've known you forever. Yes, I know you're a silver-haired half-elf, and I know what that means. I'm aware of your shortcomings and I still don't care, so don't even bother using those as an excuse. I want to stand by your side, Emilia. I care about you, and I want to see you succeed. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting anything now—"
"I like you, too."
"—but I'll be patient and…Wait, what?"
She covered her face in embarrassment. Blushing like a tomato, she mumbled, "D-do I have to spell it out for you? You're such a dunderhead, Subaru."
"Y-yeah, uh, w-well, people don't, uh, that word, uh—"
"I don't know what love is," she admitted, "or what it means to like someone romantically, but you've been sooo good to me. I really, really like you, Subaru."
'This isn't real,' he told himself. 'There's no way this is real.'
But it was real. Emilia stood before him, saying things he didn't deserve to hear.
"I have fun talking to you," she said softly, like she was the lucky one. "I miss you when you're not around. You've saved my life, and we work reeaally well together. I feel warm when I'm around you, Subaru, and I want to hold you close. I don't really know what it all means…" She peeked out at him from between her fingers. "…s-so, will you help me understand it?"
A lump formed in his throat, but he managed to force out some sounds that somewhat resembled human speech. "Uh, y-yeah, that sounds, uh, I mean, that's great! Really great! I'm gonna go, and, uh, get some sleep! Yeah, that. Very tired. You should sleep, too. Toodles!"
'Wait, what the fuck?'
"I mean, uh, goodbye!" He ran off, leaving a bewildered Emilia behind.
He bolted through the nearest door and entered the Forbidden Library. He spread his arms wide and adopted a shit-eating grin. "I'm the king of the fucking world!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "This shut-in loser just got a girlfriend!"
His smile wavered. "I, uh, I think I do? Emilia-tan probably doesn't even know what a girlfriend is." His grin returned, wider than ever before. "Guess I'll have to teach her! Hey, Beako! Guess what?"
A sniffle reached his ears and he paused his celebrations. If Beatrice was upset, then he would hold off on gushing about Emilia. "Beatrice?" he called out. "Hey, it's me. Mind coming out?"
She appeared in front of him, holding her Gospel with tears in her eyes. Her shoulders shook as she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.
He knelt to her level and held her close. He twirled his fingers around a lock of blonde hair as the other hand rubbed her back. Unlike the last time they were in this position, she welcomed his comfort. She buried her face into his chest, soaking it with her tears. He didn't mind. There was always another shirt, but there was only one Beatrice, and he'd do everything in his power to keep her happy.
"What happened?" he asked softly. She shook her head into his chest. "Do you want me to guess?"
She didn't say anything for a moment, then let out a nearly inaudible "yes."
"You're holding your Gospel, so it's something to do with Echidna." A nod. His gut twisted painfully. "There's something written in there." Fresh sobs broke through her. She didn't need to confirm anything.
"What does it say?" he asked softly. Her breath hitched, so he hastily added, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
She gripped his shoulders tight but said nothing. That was fine. Honestly, this was huge progress for her. For once, she wasn't suffering alone. It took some time, but she eventually calmed down. She pulled back and refused to look at him, saying, "Thanks, I suppose."
"Any time."
She began to walk away but stopped after a few steps. "You were right, I suppose. About everything." Before he could ask what she meant, she vanished, leaving her Gospel behind.
Recognizing the invitation for what it was, he picked it up. Echidna made him the Apostle of Greed, right? Maybe he'd be able to read the Gospel. He opened it and found words on the last page.
His hands shook as he ripped the Gospel apart in his fury. It was times like these that he remembered why he hated Echidna.
In the center of the page, clear as day, were the words, "What a fascinating choice."
Subaru walked through what remained of the forest, deep in thought.
On the one hand, Emilia liked him. He waited over a year and was sure she felt something but had no real confirmation. Here, she flat-out said she had feelings for him. He was ecstatic, of course, but confusion began to drown out the giddiness. Did a trip down memory lane really change him that much?
Would she like him if he didn't have that experience? Did she like him at all the last time around?
Pointless existentialism and girl problems aside—Seriously, couldn't he just accept that good things could happen to him?—he couldn't stop worrying about Echidna. First, he was made the Apostle of Greed, and now he was "a fascinating choice."
How much did she know? Why did he grab her attention? Was it merely because of her weird tea flowing through his veins, or was she trying to get something out of him? Was it because of his closeness to Beatrice? Did she know about his Witch Factor of Greed?
Or did she recognize him as that boy from all those years ago?
The way she looked at him on that fateful night…He shivered and pulled his jacket closer. "I wish you were here, Ella," he whispered. "We were always able to talk through this stuff."
Don't even get him started on his feelings towards Satella. That would be like opening a can of worms and finding the Great Rabbit inside.
His eyes widened in horror. "Oh, god, no! Bad thought, bad thought, bad thought!"
"Whaaat's a bad thought?"
Subaru stopped short. Where there was once a forest filled with mabeasts was now a huge crater, formed in the climax of the battle against Capella.
But it was the man beside the crater that made his blood run cold.
"Roswaal," he growled. "How…nice of you to show up."
"Mhm, yes, I seeee that much has transpired whiiile I was gone," Roswaal idly noted. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to dooo with it, would you?"
Subaru scoffed. "Drop the friendly act, Ros. We both know what you're up to."
"Oh?" said Roswaal, taking his eyes off the crater to look at Subaru.
"I survived," he declared proudly. "This loop is complete, and I'm one step closer to achieving all my dreams. You failed."
"What a faaascinating perspective," Roswaal sang. "Failed, you say?"
Subaru cast a sideways glance at Roswaal, thrown a bit off-kilter. "Well, I mean, yeah. I deviated from the Gospel, so you told Capella where I was. That way, I'd be forced to choose a different path."
Roswaal tipped his hat in respect, saying, "I must commeeend you on your deductive skills. It's a shame that your conclusion was false."
A bad feeling settled in the pit of Subaru's stomach. "What do you mean?" he asked slowly.
"It is true that I called for an assassin, but that was nooot to force a restart," he confessed. "I merely intended for you to fight the Sin Archbishop of Lust. Everything you have done is according to the Gospel's writ."
"Th-then…"
Roswaal smirked. "Tell me, Sage. What's it like to read your own Book of the Dead?"
A chill went down Subaru's spine. "You knew," he whispered. "This whole time, you knew."
Roswaal spread his arms wide, smugly asking, "Did you haaave any doubt?"
"B-but in the Sanctuary—"
"My Gospel was destroyed," he said flippantly. "It was already written that thaaat would happen."
"Then you know about our contract!" Subaru exclaimed desperately. It ignores time and space, so it still applies, right? You can't keep following the Gospel!"
Roswaal raised his eyebrows. "Did you reeeally think I'd bind myself in a real contract with such a high risk?"
Subaru's head was spinning. "Then…S-Satella. Did you know what really happened to Satella?"
Roswaal said nothing.
"Answer me, you piece of shit!"
A pause. Then: "The Gospel knows all," Roswaal declared. "You have no secrets."
He knew. He knew everything.
"You bastard," Subaru snarled, shaking. "I just want to live my life, but you're going to keep playing games with it, aren't you? And for what? To revive your waifu? News flash, Ros. Echidna doesn't give a fuck about you. That bitch doesn't give a fuck about anyone! Why don't you just—"
Pain.
"J-just…"
A hand tore through his chest, gripping his heart. Roswaal's flaming eyes glared down at him hatefully.
"Let me give you some advice, Sage."
It wasn't like the Witch of Envy's shadowy constructs. This was something physical, and it hurt.
"Do not insult Echidna, or I will end your life."
Subaru couldn't respond. He was too busy coughing up blood.
The Margrave put on a light-hearted smile. "Now, I would suggeeest you rewind. You have three seconds. Three…two…one…"
Roswaal squeezed, and the world reset.
A moment later, Subaru found himself in the Forbidden Library, clutching Beatrice's Gospel in his trembling hands.
Roswaal knew Subaru's past and the forgotten future. Their contract was never valid.
Subaru was still bound to Roswaal and his Gospel.
He took a deep breath to calm himself. He was safe for now. If he laid low and didn't say anything bad about Echidna to Roswaal, he would be okay. After all, Roswaal and Subaru needed each other to achieve their goals. Neither of them could do any real harm to the other.
Well, Roswaal could always murder Subaru to place him on the "correct" path, but that was nothing new.
Still, Subaru needed to work on his anger. Despite his best efforts, he still had a few berserk buttons. It was a damn shame that Roswaal knew how to push them all.
"Luckily my save point was updated," he muttered. "Guess I hit all the checkpoints. Man, can you imagine redoing all of that? What a nightmare."
He needed another walk, but this time, he'd go for some non-homicidal company.
He exited the Forbidden Library and walked out into the gardens. The place was a mess. Broken fountains, fallen statues, crushed hedges…One could tell that a battle had taken place here.
"Glad I'm not a butler this time around. Poor Rem, having to do this all by herself."
Then again, knowing the blue-haired demon, she'd fix it up in about a day while simultaneously giving credit to her sister. What could he say? She's just that good.
A glint of silver on the ground caught his eye. He bent down and found a beautiful silver dagger with a ruby-encrusted hilt. "Capella's knife, huh? It's no Guiltywhip, but it's pretty sweet, and it's not like she'll be getting any more use out of it." Posing and holding the knife high in the air, he declared, "I take this as the spoils of war! I dub thee…Excalibur!"
He lowered it with a sigh. "Nah, can't do that. Excalibur is a sword, not a dagger." He adopted the same pose as before, and proclaimed, "Then, I dub this E·M·H, translating to 'Emilia-tan is seriously a hottie!'"
"That is stupid, I suppose," said a voice to his left. "Wait, if that's what E·M·H means, then E·M·M—"
"It's another acronym that translates to 'Emilia-tan is seriously a goddess,'" he told Beatrice who huffed in annoyance. "I was looking for you. Wanted to see if you're all right."
"I'm fine, I suppose," she said dismissively.
"Yeah, no. Nobody in the history of ever says 'I'm fine' and means it."
She glared at him, but it was clear that her heart wasn't into it. "I wanted some fresh air, I suppose," she admitted. "It's only my second time outside in centuries, in fact."
He laughed, telling her, "You're more of a shut-in than I am."
"Now is not the time for jokes, I suppose!" she snapped, but a smile was stretching across her face, nonetheless.
"There we go!" he cheered. "There's the adorable Beako I know and love!"
"You are an idiot, in fact," she said flatly.
"Careful: your tsundere is showing."
Stomping her feet, she shouted, "Why won't you tell me what that means, I wonder?"
He chuckled and plopped down beside her, patting her head as he did so.
With a blush, she muttered, "I hope you know that I only allow this because it's in our contract, I suppose."
"Nice try," he said slyly. "Our contract says I have to give them to you, not that you have to accept it."
Her eyes widened as she stuttered, "That's not—"
"Just enjoy the love and attention your contractor is showering you with."
Resigning herself to her fate, she murmured, "F-fine, I suppose. I will allow you to continue, in fact."
They sat in companionable silence for some time before Subaru sighed. "I hate to be a downer, but there's something I have to know."
Annoyed that he stopped patting her head, she asked, "What is it, I suppose?"
"It's about your Gospel," he said carefully.
She tensed. "What about that thing, I wonder?" she hissed.
He was taken aback by the venom in her voice but pressed on. "When it was still showing you the future, did it ever say anything about Satella? Specifically, about why she went mad?"
She shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to let go of her anger. "It said nothing about her that wasn't common knowledge, I suppose. It once mentioned that someone would come into the library with a fierce hatred of the Witch of Envy, but it also said that red was his favorite color, in fact."
He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "That's, uh, useful information."
"Very useful," She agreed, completely serious. "Why do you ask, I wonder?"
"No reason."
She turned to him and narrowed her eyes. "You don't ask a question about the Witch of Envy and brush it off, I suppose."
"Seriously, don't worry about it. It was for reassurance. I already knew that you wouldn't have that kind of information."
"What kind of information, I wonder?"
He sighed. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?"
"You are not, I suppose."
"That's fine, I guess. I was going to tell you anyway, and there's no time like the present." He grabbed her hand and stood up, bringing her along with him. "I know that you're not outside much—and isn't that the understatement of the last four centuries—but can we go to the Forbidden Library?"
She nodded and teleported them back. "What did you want to show me, I suppose?"
"Give me a moment," he said, collecting his thoughts. "First, I want to apologize."
She tilted her head. "For what, I wonder? You've been good to Betty, I suppose."
"You're so damn cute and I want to hug you right now, but I need to remain focused." He steeled himself. "I'm sorry for not bringing you with me."
"I don't understand, in fact," she said, puzzled. Where did he go?"
"I promise, Beatrice, that I didn't know you'd be trapped here," he confessed. "I thought that, since you were physically safe, then everything was fine."
"What are you—"
"I know we didn't know each other for very long, but I cared about you," he said earnestly. "I cared so, so much. I'm sorry for leaving you behind. I'm sorry for only thinking about myself. I'll regret it for as long as I live."
"I-I don't…" she eyed him warily as she told him, "You're not making any sense, Subaru."
He looked past her, drowning in memories. "You and Puck weren't the only ones to call Echidna 'Mother,' were you?"
"How do you—" She shook her head to clear it. "I can tell you won't answer that either, I suppose. Yes, there was another, in fact."
He resumed gazing at her so as to gauge her reaction. "And how did you feel about that person?"
Beatrice cast her eyes downward. "I liked her, I suppose," she muttered. "She was kind, in fact. She took good care of Betty, I suppose." She clenched her fists. "But then she spat upon Mo—Echidna's kindness and left, I suppose."
Raising his eyebrows, he asked, "After all you've learned, is that still how you view things?"
"I—" she took a moment to think about it. "I don't know, in fact. Betty wonders if there's more to the story."
Subaru relaxed slightly. He was past one of the biggest hurdles. "Good," he murmured in relief. "That's good."
She fixed him with a piercing look. "Now, will you tell Betty how you know these things, I wonder?"
He shook his head, saying, "One last question." She huffed but waved her hand to continue. "What did you think of the boy she was with?"
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Hmph. He was stubborn and irritating, I suppose. But…Betty liked him, in fact. I miss him. He reminds Betty of Subaru, I suppose."
He gave her an expectant look and she gasped. Reeling back, she shakily said, "You—You can't be, I suppose! That's not…You remember…How?"
He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for not telling you, Beatrice. If I did, you would have forced yourself into this contract even if you didn't want to do it, and I would never want that from you."
But she was barely listening. "Not possible…You can't…Alone…So long…You left…"
The poor girl was clearly overwhelmed. Subaru wiped her tears and held her tight. "I'm sorry, Beako. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back."
"F-Fl…"
"It's okay," he coaxed. "You can say it. I know it's absolutely insane, but it's true."
Hesitantly, she asked, "…Flugel? Is that you, I wonder?"
He let out a soft smile. "Yeah, it's me. I missed you, Beako."
He gripped his shirt in her tiny fists. "I'm not…alone anymore."
"Hey, none of that," he soothed, pulling back. "Even if I wasn't Flugel, or if I had no memories of my past life, I would have still become your contractor. This just let me do it sooner."
She gazed at him warily before holding up her pinky. "Promise?"
Subaru couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed. "You really are a kid, Beako." He locked his pinky around hers. "I promise. I care about you, and that has nothing to do with my past life. It has to do with the fact that you're incredible in every way."
She searched his eyes, looking for any sign of deceit. Finding none, she smiled. "I have so many questions, in fact."
"And I have all the time in the world to answer them," he responded with a matching grin. "I want to tell Emilia as well, so I won't answer everything now, but I'm sure I can address the elephant in the room."
"What's an elephant, I wonder?"
He raised an eyebrow. "That's your question? Seriously?"
"No, I suppose!" she snapped, stomping her feet.
He ruffled her hair, ignoring her shriek of protest. "I'm screwing with you," he said fondly. "You want to know about Satella, don't you?"
She nodded meekly. Adorable.
"I'll explain everything in time," he promised, "but what you need to know is that the Calamity was not her fault. It's mine."
Her eyes widened and she took a step back. In awe, or perhaps fear, she asked, "Are you saying you destroyed half the world, I suppose?"
"Hell, no!" he said quickly. "Even back then, I didn't have that kind of power."
Confounded, she asked, "Then who caused the Calamity, I wonder?"
"Satella," he said bluntly.
"That makes no sense, in fact," Beatrice deadpanned. "You say it's not her fault, but also that she destroyed half the world."
"I did."
"Then—"
He cut her off, saying, "What happens when someone takes in incompatible Witch Factors?"
Beatrice opened her mouth to speak but was unable to find the words.
"It's really that simple," he admitted. "She took in the Witch Factors of Envy, but she was the most selfless person I've ever met. She always felt like she owed others, and genuinely believed she deserved nothing. Because of this, the Witch Factors created a split personality, one with no regard for others. With her already being as powerful as she was—"
"The world didn't stand a chance, in fact," Beatrice whispered. "Why don't more people know about this?"
"Their homes were burned, and their families were slaughtered," he pointed out. "People of mixed blood were already hated, and magic was demonized. Do you honestly think the public would have listened if I told them the truth?"
"I suppose not," she relented, eyes downcast. It was clear to him that she was filled to the brim with questions, but they both knew that no answers would be forthcoming until he could tell Emilia as well.
"Cheer up," he said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I said I wanted to show you something, right? Come with me."
He grabbed her hand and lead her towards the back of the library, stopping at one of the desks. He picked up the stack of notes on it and chuckled. "I'm kind of surprised you didn't ask me what I was researching."
Knowingly, she asked, "Would you have told me, I wonder?"
"Nope," he said cheekily. "That's why it's written in my home language." They stopped at one of the shelves and Beatrice looked at him in askance.
"I would have loved to do this earlier, but it requires mana. It's kinda-sorta impossible to use that with a broken gate and all." He pulled out a nondescript book with a black cover and stuck his finger into the wood behind it. Channeling mana through his connection with Beatrice, he whispered the passphrase that he created centuries ago—one that was keyed specifically to his gate and included a name that had never been associated with the Sage.
"Subaru, Satella, and Shaula."
The wall to their right dissolved into nothingness, so Beatrice gasped. "I thought the Forbidden Library had no more secrets, I suppose."
With a wry grin, he pointed out, "It wouldn't be much of a secret if you knew there was one."
Inside was a massive bedroom that connected to a suite of rooms, including a washroom and a study. It matched the aesthetic of the Forbidden Library perfectly, with its high ceilings, aged mahogany furniture, and numerous bookcases—these ones stuffed with stacks of handwritten notes. A silver lamp shone brightly at his bedside, strengthening the feeling of "home."
None of the surfaces contained a single mirror—exactly how he liked it.
Subaru put his hands on his hips and let out a wistful sigh. "Home, sweet home."
"To think that, this whole time, you were in the mansion, in fact. You, and…" Beatrice trailed off, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
"Satella," he said simply.
"Yes, I suppose." She furrowed her eyebrows and stated, "You are horrible at concealing yourself, in fact. Hiding from Echidna in her own mansion?"
"To be fair, it's not like she was going to leave the Sanctuary at that point, so it was less hiding and more 'Haha, you can't get me.' Plus, we traveled a lot. This was just our hub world."
Drily, she said, "I don't know what those words mean, I suppose."
"Don't worry, Beako," he assured her. "I'll teach you all my Subaru-isms, and soon, you'll be talking just like me."
"How horrifying," she deadpanned.
"Utterly terrifying," he replied, as serious as her.
He walked around the room, lovingly dragging his hand across the wood furniture. "I miss Satella, you know. I had always felt this…this pull towards her. It was freaky as hell. It's weird enough being in love with someone you've never met, but for that person to be the Witch of Envy? It made sense when I got the memories of my past self, but it was definitely a mindfuck."
She nodded sagely. "I can only imagine, I suppose."
He stopped by a small bookcase and pulled out one of the myriad notebooks. "I was researching soul magic," he reminisced. "I was given a hasty solution to our problem, but that just made things worse. After Satella went mad, I pivoted to researching Witch Factors and removing them, but I ran out of time."
He jerked his thumb towards the library. "That's what I was doing out there. I was continuing my research.
"I made a huge breakthrough when I gained the Authority of Lust, but there's still more to do. You've been in here for hundreds of years, Beatrice. You've read most, if not all these books. Will you help me continue my research?"
She nodded solemnly. "Of course, in fact. Where you go, Betty goes, I suppose."
His eyes hardened. "Be careful when you say that. I'm about to ask you something else, and it's a lot harder than a research project—not to mention the sheer amount of ethical implications involved."
She gazed back unflinchingly. "You gave Betty's life meaning. Betty will happily follow you."
A wry grin crossed his features. "You might regret that in about five seconds."
'Moment of truth, Subaru. You got this.'
He took a deep breath and gathered his resolve. "I want to free Satella and remove her Witch Factor. Will you help me?"
She crossed her arms, annoyed. "Must I repeat myself, I suppose?"
Times like these reminded Subaru of why he adored her.
He gave her a fond smile. "I guess not." He fell back on the bed, finally letting himself relax. "Phew, that felt good! I've been holding that in for a long-ass time."
He wasn't alone anymore.
Soon, he'd tell Emilia and Beatrice everything he possibly could. He'd been waiting for this since he came back to zero, and he'd be damned if he left anything out.
The truth of their existences would hurt them. He knew that. He'd help them through it, and he'd show them that they're worth more than the circumstances of their birth.
And…even though he didn't deserve it after everything he had done…maybe, just maybe, he could get a happy ending.
"Four," he mumbled to himself. "Three keys left."
'I'm coming for you, Ella. I will save you.'
A smile lit up his face as he drifted off to sleep.
'I love you.'