Chapter 21 - Ch20 Dragon balls and Red Ribbon Bullshit

After that little excursion with Ranfan. I went off on my own little side quest to find the dragon balls. That desert heat fried me so I had to chill in a big ass puddle but some asshole captured Nam talking about some dinner. So I lowkey slimed the big bird and put it in a capsule for dinner later. Then I traveled with Nam to help him out on sum broski type shit. Some lame ass dinosaurs tried to horde the water behind a dam so I was about to beat their asses until Giran showed up. Giran explained to me how that shit was unbreakable so I lowkey ignored him and busted that shit open with a Kamehameha and water started splashing out. Huh, I have had sex with Mai in a while, I thought. But anyway I bought water back to the river. After that day the most filler shit in the world happened. Some nasty ass little boy stole my dragon radar so I tracked down the man he sold it to. I found my radar and saw a dragon ball was nearby. Then I saw pilafs sorry ass walking out with a box. So I lowkey pickpocketed that man but that shit was fake so I walked away. THIS BALL FAKE. I exclaimed before dropping it on the ground. Breaking it right in front of pilaf. Then I looked up and saw a bird trying to fly away with it so I reached up and grabbed that shit. THIS ONES REAL! I exclaimed. Before running away at subsonic speeds. I got bored and decided to visit ox king and chi chi up near fire mountain. OH MY KAKAROT ITS SO GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! Chi chi exclaimed while hugging me. She was jumping with jubilation and her huge double F cup tits struggled to stay contained in her ox-bikini top. Hehe… It's great to see you too Chi Chi. I said. Boy, I'm starving. Do you have any fruit around here? I asked. She then directed me to a river. We relaxed by the river for a bit when Shu and Pilaf showed up to the village. An army showed up trying to blow shit up but Ox king, like the goated father in law he is, charged in. Pilaf and shu lowkey dipped because there was no point in staying. Me and chi chi were talking about my future plans of becoming the strongest and having children when we saw smoke coming from the mountain and rushed back. They tried to take away Ox king but I beat their asses with supreme efficiency. General Silver tried to fly away or some shit but Mai blew him up in some death star looking ship. The ox king prepared another feast and I started munching on roasted dinosaur and some broiled fish. DAMN THAT SHIT WAS GOOD! But I have to go. What about the wedding? Chi chi said. I have some quests, chi chi. I'll be back one day. I said. I got hungry looking for my next dragon ball and a tribe of monkeys led me to it. They seemed friendly so I let them play with it while I took a nap. After I awoke from my slumber I went to go find it but the red ribbon army showed up so I had to put belt to ass. Suddenly general silver showed up and shot the monkey. It fell into the ravine after I grabbed the monkey by its tail to save it. YOU SON OF A BITCH! I yelled at the General. I safely climbed out of the bottom of the ravine. I later found the 5 star ball in a bush. I found a capsule with a robot in it and guided me to the next dragon ball but that shit almost crashed so I had to abandon ship on some general grievous shit. It was cold as hell but some girl in a blue coat led me to warmth. This must've been suno. I had no idea this universe had aged up everyone cause damn. She had a similar figure to Mai but she was shorter and thicker. She had long red hair and her entire outfit accentuated her curves. Her coat did nothing to hide her fat ass that still jiggled while being covered by all that clothing. Her tits looked to be F cups and her thick thighs and child bearing hips made my mouth water in this cold ass weather. Hey, thanks for the warmth. I said enthusiastically. No problem, you'd probably freeze out there if I didn't come to save you. She said. My names Suno, and this is my mother, she said pointing to the older lady that gave me a blanket. Hello there. Hi, my name is Kakarot. I said, holding out my hand to shake Sunos. She shook my hand before saying. So why are you out here Kakarot, you don't look like you're from here. I've never seen a boy as cute as you out here she said blushing while holding eye contact with me. Oh, thanks. I was actually looking for the dragon balls. The dragon balls! Her mother exclaimed. Are you a red ribbon soldier. No. I said. But a bunch of them tried to kill me on the way here. I made sure to stick it to them for trying. I said confidently. You must be really strong. Oh yeah, I won the world tournament but I'm continuing to train to become the strongest in the world and beyond. Wow. So you're handsome and strong? Suno asked Leaning in closer blushing. A…anyways. I'm trying to steal the with from them so they don't use the balls to dominate the world. I thank you all for your help but I'm gonna go defeat them now. I said as if it was a task I had yet to do for the day. KNOCK KNOCK! A man yelled, kicking the door down. Who's in he- I kicked the man's gun out of his hand before delivering a shot to his liver making his brain do a factory reset before kicking his partner in the neck. That was unbelievable, Suno said, flabbergasted. You're s…so strong. Nah, you just saw it. Hey, can I borrow a coat? I said. While suno was fetching me a coat, sunos mother explained to me what happened to sunos father. I decided to skedaddle towards an outpost to steamroll these bastards. SIR WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. It looks like a missile. OH WAIT ITS A BOY. The man exclaimed before I kicked through the tank and the three soldiers that were nearby got caught in the explosion. I raided a tower full of soldiers barreling through all the guards before hopping up to the top to meet General White. Welcome to Muscle tower, intruder. I've come to retrieve a chief. Oh, well make sure to watch yourself on the way up HAHAHA. The general laughed before ending the communication. I entered the first floor. HEY KID! STOP RIGHT THE- I punched the soldier through the wall and off the tower before making my way to the other soldiers to beat their asses. He's no match for Major Metallitron. The samurai Murasaki said confidently. Stop, intruder. Metallitron said. You must get past me to proceed upstai- the poor Terminator looking bastard had no time to finish before I cannon balled through the robot's chest like sonic, reducing the matter around his chest to scraps. D.. Destroy….Destr- KAMEHAMEHA! I yelled before obliterating the rest of his body. I went to the next floor and the bastard kept throwing toothpicks, I mean Kunai, at me. HEY DONT BE A BITCH NOW COME OUT. Suddenly the area changed, becoming bright. The only time you will see me is when you take your final breath. The only memory I'll have of you when I die is that time I shoved a bowstick up your ass. W..what are you talking about. The next time he sprang out to attack I elbowed him in the gut and shoved the power pole up his ass. AGHHHHHHHH. The ninja screamed. MEEK MILL SHIT BITCH! I exclaimed. ANDROID 8 HELP! Murasaki exclaimed. Suddenly some Frankenstein looking robot emerged from a cell. Where's the key? He asked murasaki. Uhhh lemme find it. Murasaki replied. No need. The android replied before snapping the chains. NOW KILL HIM ANDROID 8. Murasaki said. No, I'd rather not, that's violence. I hate violence. The robot said. I think what you're doing is wrong, especially that you're holding the chief hostage upstairs. FINE, IF YOU WONT DO IT THEN ILL JUST HAVE TO DESTROY YOU WITH THIS REMOTE. SO, IF YOU DONT WANT TO EXPLODE, SHUT YOUR TRAP AND DESTROY THAT BRAT. Hmmmm. I can't no matter what happens, I won't hurt. MURASAKI, DESTROY THAT ROBOT IMMEDIATELY. General white replied. NAH FAWK ALL THAT. I said before kicking it out of his hand, destroying the device and sending his ass through a wall with a Haymaker. Thank you for helping me. . No problem Mr. 8. I'll get ya outta here. R….really? The android asked. Yep, no more fighting for you. I'm gonna go get that chief you so kindly pointed out to me and we can abandon house. I said. Oh and the name's Kakarot. I know that bastard called you android 8 but I was thinking your name should be Eighter take it or leave it. Thank you, the android said. I ran to the next level to find some weird ass maze.