I never should have shown them the Dungeon Shop.
One night, one night, of "let's brainstorm our delivery strategy" turned into Grip, Snip, and Clink forming a full-blown department.
They even had a logo: a badly drawn goblin holding a pizza box with "GDD" underneath.
The "D" stood for "Delivery."
The other "D" also stood for "Delivery."
They insisted that made it "double efficient."
I bought the Monster Disguise Kit for emergencies.
My emergencies.
Points: 1430 → 1080
It came in a small black case with a dial that read: Slime, Kobold, Mimic, Orc, Random.
I was already picturing using it to blend into a mob fight or to get past monsters without being chewed on.
The Goblins immediately wanted to borrow it for "team synergy." I told them no.
Their First Mission
Order: Two spicy ramen, one large milk tea with pearls and a bag of beef jerky. Destination: Floor 4 - the Mushroom People's Market.
I strongly suggested they not insult the mushrooms. Last time an adventurer did that, they got pepper-sprayed with spores.
The Observation Deck
I followed from a safe distance.
Not because I didn't trust them.
Because I didn't trust them at all.
Grip led the way, chest puffed, carrying both ramen bowls like trophies.
Snip had the milk tea strapped to his back with string.
Clink held the beef jerky like it was made of gold.
Step One: Overdelivery
They reached the market.
The mushroom merchant, a tall, pale toadstool with droopy eyes, inspected the order.
"This is too much food" it said. "I only ordered one ramen."
Grip grinned. "Double delivery for double efficiency!"
The merchant looked confused.
Then offended.
Step Two: Underdelivery
On the way back, they stopped at a random adventurer's camp and sold the second ramen for 3 gold.
This would have been fine if they hadn't also accidentally sold the beef jerky.
Step Three: Accidental War
Somehow, while explaining the missing beef jerky to the mushroom merchant, Snip used the phrase "fungus freeloaders."
There is now a decent chance that the Mushroom People consider the Goblin Delivery Division a hostile faction.
They came back grinning, holding 3 gold and no beef jerky.
"We made a profit!" Grip announced.
"You made an enemy" I said.
"Same thing" he replied.
The Reputation Shift
My HUD pinged:
Store Reputation: +2 (Adventurer Approval)
Store Reputation: -5 (Mushroom Market Hostility)
Great. Just great.
The Twist
Later that night, the Dungeon contacted me.
"You have interesting... subordinates" it said.
"They're not my subordinates" I replied.
"They have... accelerated your delivery quotas. I am... impressed."
I didn't like the sound of that.
End of Day Balance: 1080 points
Gold: +3