The Dungeon's voice hit me at exactly 8:12 a.m. right as I was trying to enjoy a perfectly normal breakfast of toast and instant noodles.
"Relations with Floor 4's Mushroom People are Hostile. You will attend a mandatory diplomatic mission immediately."
I chewed slowly. "...Why me?"
"Because they believe the Goblin Delivery Division works for you."
I sighed. "Technically, they just appear here every day. I never hired them."
"And yet, you feed them. That's employment."
Step One: A Dangerous Accessory
I pulled the Monster Disguise Kit from under the counter.
If we were going to try diplomacy, it couldn't hurt to look less like ourselves.
The kit's dial read: Slime, Kobold, Mimic, Orc, Random.
"Okay, you three are going as kobolds" I said.
"Can I be a slime?" Clink asked.
"No. Last time you pretended to be a slime, you absorbed three sponges and a bag of chips.
Step Two: The Long Walk to Trouble
We headed into the dungeon's twisting corridors toward the Floor 4 gate.
The disguises... worked, technically.
Grip's kobold form was solid, except for the bright red "COUPON JUSTICE" bandana still tied around his forehead.
Snip's kept flickering like bad reception, alternating between kobold and angry potato.
Clink... looked like a kobold who'd been punched by evolution.
Step Three: An Old Face
Halfway down the moss-lined tunnel, I heard heavy footsteps.
Armor glinted in the dim light.
It was Grunt, the Floor 1 Boss from the very first day the store connected to the dungeon.
Tall, broad, all steel and shadow.
I remembered the first time we met: he'd tried to intimidate me, I'd offered him tea.
That awkward truce had stuck.
He stopped in front of me, visor tilting down. "Convenience man."
"...Boss" I said, trying to sound casual.
"You still live?"
"I run a shop. I'm not exactly charging into battle."
His visor angled slightly toward the goblins. "...And these?"
"Delivery staff. Sort of."
He grunted. "Do not let them near Floor 1. They will cause... chaos."
"Understood."
Before leaving, he stepped closer, lowering his voice. "The dungeon is... shifting. You should prepare."
Then he was gone, his footsteps echoing until they faded into the walls.
Step Four: The Mushroom Market
The Mushroom People's chieftain stood waiting at the market gates, arms folded, cap drooping slightly forward.
"You bring... them" he said, eyeing the kobold-goblin hybrids.
Grip stepped forward. "I, Chief of Coupon Deliveries, come to apologize."
He handed over a crumpled coupon for half off instant noodles.
The chieftain stared at it for a long moment. Then spores puffed into the air.
"This is... insulting."
I quickly stepped in, producing a basket of fresh bread and tea leaves from my bag.
"Consider this the real apology gift."
Step Five: Downgraded Hostility
The chieftain sniffed the tea, sipped, and relaxed ever so slightly.
"We will consider your... store... as Cautiously Tolerated."
Grip grinned. "Diplomacy complete!"
I ignored him.
End of Day Rewards:
Gold: 0
Points: 0
Balance: 1080 points
Reputation: Mushroom Market → Cautiously Tolerated