"Then let me guess," Duck-Hwan tilted his head, his eyes studying me and his lips spreading in a knowing grin. "A crush?"
My throat tightened. For a second, it felt like this guy had truly read me but I remained calm.
I shook my head.
"No." but maybe I reacted too quickly because then I seemed even more suspicious.
He chuckled, clearly unconvinced, and shrugged his shoulders.
"That reaction says otherwise, though," he said.
I hated how he wasn't wrong. But what I hated more was how a stranger who only knew my name could stick his nose into my business like he knew something about me.
"Don't act like you know me," I said, my hands clutching each other. "It's unpleasant."
Was that too much?
Well, I hoped it'd get him to leave me alone.
But he was neither offended nor planning to leave me alone as he chuckled.
"I must've struck a chord." He said. "I'll apologize for my rudeness. But you know," he leaned in even closer. "If you have a problem, bottling it up won't just make it go away. You never know, talking about it could help you."
Yeah, right. I'm not about to tell a stranger that I had sex with another stranger and ever since that day, I couldn't stop thinking about them.
The response would be obvious. You're in love, they would say.
A bunch of hogwash beliefs.
I don't plan to believe that I fell in love because of my body's reactions.
And I... I wasn't planning on telling anyone that I was gay either so he could forget it. But let's just keep him off our backs for now.
"I'll keep that in mind," I said and finally took my first gulp of the beer.
Ugh, Soju. It tasted way different from the cocktail I had back then.
"In that case, know that I'm always ears." He said cheerfully, but his responses were just too suspicious.
Why was he getting so close to me, and what was his motive in wanting to know what was troubling me?
We hadn't spoken to each other until today. We weren't friends either but he was suspiciously friendly.
If he had only watched me from afar then what made him approach me all of a sudden?
"What do you want?" I blatantly asked, my eyes heavily on his and if he tried to lie, I would know.
"Well, to tell you the truth," he leaned even closer. Abnormally close, and since we were in a corner, no one would see what we were doing.
I reacted a bit and pushed my body back, but that only made me get under his gaze and he hovered above me.
This position... I didn't like it.
I was cornered by the table and the wall.
And I couldn't get away even if I wanted to.
His gaze... His gaze had also changed.
"To be honest, I'm very interested in you." He said, which seemed to be the truth. "I contemplated a lot how to approach you but you had no openings. But recently, you've been rather lax, and the high walls you always put up to chase people away seemed to have crumbled in half. So, I thought this was my chance."
Was he seriously confessing to me in this awkward position and in a loud place like this?
I could just pretend I didn't hear him because of how loud it was but... Was that the best thing to do?
"I appreciate your feelings," I said, pressing my hand on his shoulder to push him off before he went crazy and did something rude.
Maybe he was drunk, maybe not. But his actions weren't respectful at all.
It looked like he was going to try to coax me into accepting his feelings instead of actually giving me the chance to make a choice.
"But I'm sorry. I can't accept or give back your feelings." I said. "And if you want to know the reason, it's simple."
When dealing with a situation like this, it was best to use the surest way to turn him down. Something he wouldn't try to compromise.
"I'm not gay."
A blatant lie but he wouldn't know that.
"Oh." I blinked, as if just coming to a realization.
People usually assume that feminine-looking males like me are gay, and while that's just a stereotype, in my case, it was true.
But I don't have the energy for any of that drama, an explanation, or a change in the way people look at me.
"I'm not gay, so I can't accept your feelings and date you, who's a guy. But don't worry, I'm not homophobic either so I won't look at you any differently." I said and he started moving further away, giving me space to catch my breath.
"Ah, it seemed like I rushed into this too much." He said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "I didn't offend you, did I?"
He couldn't even look me in the eye anymore because of his anxiety.
"And just so you know, I'm not gay either." He said and I narrowed my eyes. So, he was Bi then? "I just like you a lot and I don't mind if you're male. I didn't know if you were gay or not but I wished you could see my feelings and not mind my gender."
Yeah, not happening.
If that was your goal from the start then you had a really bad approach, buddy.
"I won't talk about this with anyone, don't worry," I said, sitting up. "And next time, if you have an interest in someone, you should think of going with the right approach. Or you'll end up chasing them away rather than catching their interest."
"Man, I really did mess up here." He said, still not meeting my eyes. "I thought this approach would get your heart to flutter. At least, that's what they usually say." He was flushing. Probably embarrassed, and that was why he couldn't even look at my face properly.
"Maybe it could work for girls, I don't know since I'm not the same gender as them. But that will never work on me." I drank from my glass and then a thought crossed my mind.
Maybe if Mike did it... At that point, I imagined Mike pinning me down and saying those exact lines.
Ah, I would've definitely swooned. But let's not show it.
"Once again, I'm sorry for my approach." He bowed his head and I rolled my eyes towards my briefly. "Let's just pretend this never happened."
"Yes, I'm fine with that."