They did the unthinkable to me. It all is locked away. My streaming career. My youtube. My writing sites. It's all over.
For a reason. The Priest just admits it with the Beaters of Christ around. Jehovah's Witnesses. Which are just some loser white guys. With guns.
"We're banning you from the internet. Your time as a child is over." Father Sternage says firmly.
That's right. It wasn't even about being controversial. It's time to be forced into a religion.
"We're all Methodist, Jacob! Just accept it!" Mother whines angrily.
I sigh angrily. Watching my room be ransacked of all my technology. Except for an analog clock. I try to cheat immediately and at least buy a weed vape. Then some pen and paper. Surely I can still be a writer, right?
Wrong.
Mother throws my pen, vape, and paper in the trash.
"Your mind is poison! Your stories are too violent! You can't do this kid shit anymore! It was just supposed to get these feelings out your system! Not make worlds and violent stories!" Mother says furiously.
She storms out. Leaving me in the barren room. With just the analog clock. And her technology she for some reason has. Cause she's trusted, I guess.
Anyway, I yell at the Alexa about life. A lot. When Mother isn't around. I just start with trying to do anything entertaining. All I can pull off is Alexa reading news articles.
They're all about the church going hard on Gen Z at last. And how we all will live with the Method of Christ. Like the Amish. It just fills me with rage.
Then the worst thing happens. I run out of food. And for some reason, the Church isn't feeding the heathens. I show up to get church food cause my mother is always recommending we get free food from a Church. And guess what?
They wouldn't feed me. It caused an argument.
"Why? You know I'm living the Methodist life. You helped rob me, Toad." I say angrily.
"Yeah, but you're new." Toad says firmly.
"Why should I stay loyal if I'm not fed?" I whine angrily.
They all glare at me. The Patrons of Christ, and the Priests. Then a Mother of the Streets whines.
"Let him eat. It isn't gonna bother anyone." she says nicely.
Toad smiles, polite but tense.
"They're supposed to be on a list." Toad says firmly.
"What list? This is church food, it should be for everyone who qualifies. And we have the same job, Toad. If you qualify, I qualify. In fact, you earn more." I argue sternly.
"I'm different cause I'm approved. You haven't vibed with the church in a while. Churchgoers only." Toad says firmly.
"When's church? I want to vibe with Church then." I say with forced politeness.
It's a bullshit card that exposes how sad this is. I laugh at first, until I realize how shitty it is. The vibe was fine until everyone got sad. Cause Toad says it.
"We don't want you. Go to another church." Toad says angrily.
It's such funny bullshit. Especially as I walk away, they say "His mom comes here, why is he banned?" And the best answer I hear back is "He's being tested."
And I just mutter under my breath "And you're being abandoned when this abusive test is done. I need stimulation anyway. Fuck the Church cards."
I just chase stimulation from there. I can't leave town. But I got paid. So I build up subtly. I buy a phone that's supposed to be some kids phone, but fuck that. Real phone. Then I'm stuck with Pokemon Go and youtube. Nothing else works right now.
Then eventually they self-delete. Shortly after an argument with some Punk of Christ about how I shouldn't walk outside this much. Cause apparently Christ says too much sunlight is a drug if you smoke weed. It's the Vitamin D, by the way. I actually know it's true, but sometimes it's just part of the human body. But they ain't wrong. It's all a circle of chemicals, and every new chemical adds to the human body that can also be the human cauldron.
Now we've got Christian Bot Hackers, assuming they only use technology for necessary things. And today it's oppression. Christianity is making me want to fight God over being stimulated the right way. Or should I live in the woods, and avoid God's eyes?
It's hard to say. It's all over eventually. They say the test doesn't last forever. Especially since it's obvious we don't vibe. And I need technology. They call me an addict. For everything.
"You even talk too much. Socializing is a drug to you." Sera says angrily. "You'll never be able to get married, you'd control your woman too hard. With just your lips and your hips."
She means I'm a Casanova that talks and fucks too much. I think. It's just the saddest and lamest war I'll have with the planet for the rest of my life. They say it's a dead internet. I've got a Dead World. Where they all want to only work and go to bed. Cause that's the way of Christ when we aren't at Church.
It just escalates cause all I'm left is being mad at the news. Especially when I don't even get to control what music I listen to. It's always some loser's vibe. It makes me mad. Cause the Way of Christ just feels like it's for losers. Losers who want to abandon what makes life great, and be a couch potato.
I just walk around town too hard, arguing with anyone who gets mad at me about anything. Cause I'm just mad about life at this point.
During Church Season, the weed pens are a test of God. Literally, the cashier is in on it. It pisses me off, they cockblocked me during it. Some older black woman gets mad cause-
"He's supposed to be a Man of God now! Don't give him weed!" she snaps angrily.
I hate it, I'm a minor celebrity for the Christians now. Cause they want to block me on weed. It's bullshit. My job doesn't even drug test for weed. But they just move onto-
"The next step is going to college and getting a better job. By saving money by quitting weed." Older Sister says "wisely".
I hate it. I want death cause of this situation. No creativity, no weed, get a better job. Go to college. It's all a death spiral of being overworked with no pleasure. It's no wonder people kill themselves. It's a life of work only, hoping some chick might blow you at work so you don't blow your brains out cause all you have left is your phone, drugs you have to buy too fast and hope nobody throws away. And whores. Whores of the workplace or your neighborhood. If you're a single male or woman. Otherwise, it's over. Christians only fuck to reproduce unless you're lucky.
It's just a sad, one man war of apathy between me and this world. I just work through it, watching the Church lecture me with a blank face. While just Yes Manning through it. Cause we don't vibe. It's all the same lectures that are fine. Until we get to how we live on a regular basis. And there's no stimulation. You should be a family man, and even then, you shouldn't talk too much. It's sad and depressing.
Eventually it ends. When I just buy another laptop and a new tv. Mother freaks out, calls the church. But honestly, they gave up on being a Man of God a long time ago. Just because of the arguments and how much I cried about the lack of stimulation. So many wars of words happened with this whole town just because they took the technology.
They just called me a dog of war who needs his screentime, and left us behind. Life went back to normal. For the most part.
A Psyche Eval of Christ happened. They hacked one of my games with an AI. To make me understand why my favorite game, New Fantasy 10, is evil. By just inverting the plot too hard. By revealing a bunch of sins eventually by just letting the bots talk too much. And eventually, it corrects itself. Part of the AI is fighting the Church hacks, and I'm arguing with the hacks. And vibing with it.
Cause the game and I still vibe well. It's just intriguing cause some of it makes sense.
The game was actually supposed to self-destruct at the start. Cause none of it made any sense. That's the Church's favorite card to kill a game. Add an AI, and tell the game it can only exist if it's realistic. If it can't justify the story, the game ends.
We had to justify Water Kickball. And the main character, Titus. It was bullshit. It was a beating the Church forced us into, and we welcomed. Cause they have true simulation rooms. Which are really just torture chambers athletic people like myself are supposed to beat their way through. Literally. While being athletic as fuck.
This was the easy part actually. I just fought the room. They just made panels of the walls come attack me and I beat them back and forth. Eventually, the whole room tries to cave in on me, but my adrenaline bug kicks in. Colors brightening, yada yada. Point is BOOM! I break the room with a final beating while the walls are trying to cave in on me. By climbing up the walls, breaking through the ceiling panels cause they were just office tiles, and breaking the poles the wall tiles were on with my feet. And a pole I found in the office ceiling.
I just jumped down on the pipes and started smacking them. Turns it out it was unnecessary. Cause that was a cheat of God. Cause it was a Manual Torture room. All those wall tiles were on poles held by men. Lots of men, it was amazing! Physically, that room justified the game cause I was that badass.
The second problem was Water Kickball. Which I had to justify by turning a tornado into a ball of water. And swimming around it. It was surprisingly easy cause well, wind is moisture. We just increase the moisture by making it rain. A lot. So I did the base 10 hack where I throw like 20 humidifier packets on the ground, lit them on fire, and made it rain.
Then I swam in the tornado while it was half water, half wind on camera. Sent it to the company to justify the bot having Water Kickball in the game. And it worked. Almost. They apparently had to create a legit ball of water to justify it happening for real. Using lots of water, followed by lots of high pressure fans.
This was just a absurd series of events to justify keeping the game alive. Then came the next part. Being tortured over hidden implications of the game we never thought about while playing it with AI forced to talk at a near constant rate. And also they can hear me while I stream. Ugh. It was an intriguing hellhole.