"I'm a fake athlete, I do steroids." Titus says calmly.
"That's neat." I say annoyedly.
"I also rob people after we have sex. I also take pics of us fucking with a body camera." Titus says calmly.
"That's fucked up, don't do that." I say annoyedly.
"I also do it." Aura says angrily. "I do everything and more. Cause it's necessary for me to be happy as a man. I take what I please from everyone."
"Great, Aura is a rapist. I hate this game already." I say angrily.
I almost quit playing, but then something interesting comes up to push through.
"How can we jump so high?" Titus says confusedly.
"We're in the farplane, this is a dream. Shut up, who cares?" Aura says angrily.
Suddenly the game freezes. And a demon of confused malice appears on the screen. It's the face of a superboss from the next game.
"Justify Zanarkand. Or else."
It says this in a blue and white message box. My mind is blank for a moment, as it's intense how my game is talking back to me like this. Even if it is cursed. But I'm just invested in seeing the dark side come to light. I must conquer it.
"Zanelle is the heaven Sin creates for everyone that dies to Sin's hand. It is sustained by the fayth of Mount Penultima. And the lives Sin claims with its attacks on the Spiral World's society." I say nervously.
… Accepted. The game proceeds too normally from there. Until we're inside of Sin. And the screen is being to fade to white.
When Titus's father starts to argue with us.
"Why should I agree to this plan of yours, Biriline?" Jack argues with angry defiance.
The scene moves past the white, into a strange room. It is a decrepit but incredibly advanced city. Moss covers the buildings. Neon lights are fading if not gone. And in the middle of this street, are two men. And a ship wheel covered in black and white flesh. With golden knobs.
I recognize them both from previous playthroughs. And I'm delighted to see new content due to AI.
Jack is a tanned man with long black hair. He wears red and black shorts, and nothing else. He has scars covering his body from many battles. And he wields a sharpened shard of an anchor as an axe.
Biriline is a priest of this video game. He wears purple, green, and red robes bearing the symbol of Kevin, the religion of this game. It's a K with a rainbow behind it. He wields his staff, which is just like Yumie's. The Summoner of this game. A golden peace sign.
Both men are glaring at each other. While Titus watches over them as a ghost. Along with Aura.
"What is the meaning of this? Send us back to the Spiral World, we have work to do." Aura snaps angrily.
"What are we even doing? What is the Spiral World?" Titus asks bitterly.
"It's the real world Titus. You're just a child that shouldn't exist. A child of heaven that needs to live on the Spiral. And make it move forward. Cause I'm sick of life being a circle. It's time we spiral upwards, and advance." Biriline says firmly.
"Don't make me laugh. No matter how hard we advance, it's the same shit over and over. We just punish the Sinners as Sin while living it up. What's to hate about it?" Jack says cockily.
"We can't keep punishing the living and dragging them for more lectures and beatings. It's time to let go and let them develop naturally. They are wise enough. The Kevinites will do well to guide humanity without Sin to punish them." Biriline says seriously.
Biriline steps towards the wheel and puts his hands on it. He glows white, and suddenly Titus and Aura are teleported away.
The game progresses as normally again. Except for a revelation that's cringe.
"I would fuck that pirahna." Titus says calmly.
"Please kill yourself." I say sadly.
Then Titus gets saved by the elite minorities in this game that use the machines of the world more than anyone. The Kyle Bhads. They are literally the same except they speak a different language and use technology.
Anyway, this is when the game gets darker. We're gonna skim through this, but Titus gets beaten into being a slave in this version of the game. And a sex slave. Then the Priest lectures me with his webcam being broadcast over my game.
"You should be ashamed of yourself. We saw you get a boner when that woman used Titus as a sex slave. And you aren't even trying to escape. You're just torturing that poor soul." Father Sternage preaches angrily.
I was tied to a wall. I didn't even know how to escape. The Priest just prays to God, and the game gets restored to where it should be. Where I'm not a slave.
Then it escalates again. Cause the next scene needs to be underwater, so the malice demon shows up again. To demand I "Justify how they breathe underwater."
I just said Titus's Mom, Rika's dad, and Wokka's mom were all naiads. It did the trick, they have gills under their armpits now. For some reason.
Now I play through this normally while they bitch at each other.
"If it wasn't for you being a dork, we'd be happily married." Rika says angrily.
"Ugh, don't force yourself on Titus." I complain, disgusted.
"I have to, the game says he gets with Yumie. I want him instead." Rika says angrily.
"Well I mean, we can just work something out. I haven't even met Yumie yet this playthrough." Titus says suavely.
"My man." I say happily.
"No, he's my man. We're going on a date right now!" Rika says angrily.
Suddenly they both swim out the level, and go back on the ship. The next cutscene just happens, where he's fed food. Except now they both have food. And they're just chatting like a degenerate couple. It's cute and disgusting.
"So like, I want to destroy this world. You should help, the Kevin religion is really evil. It's this game's stand in for Christianity, and I really hate it." Rika says seriously.
"I haven't even heard of Kevin, why should I hate it?" Titus says calmly.
"Because it makes us want to be Martyrs for God so we'll be the perfect soldier. It's why the Final Summoning is in this game. So we love the idea of being a Martyr." Rika says angrily.
"Woah! That pisses me off a little too!" I say annoyedly.
Rika points at me, the player. At the camera.
"You help us destroy Kevin and the Kevinites. For good." Rika says angrily.
"We can try, we're doing that anyway. That's what this game becomes." I say nervously.
"Yeah, but I want it permanent this time." Rika says angrily.
"Rika, the next game just shows us they do New Kevin. They'll just make a new Kevin religion they claim is Pure every time." I argue bluntly.
Rika screams with rage and punches the metal storage container behind her. Titus is spooked a bit.
"Rika, just date Titus and relax. Enjoy your date." I say nervously.
Titus holds up a heart. Rika sighs, and slides closer to Titus until they're side by side. Then as Titus tries putting his arm around Rika, the Sin event happens. Where Sin attacks Titus's ship, pulls him into a whirlpool, and sends him to Bee Island.
It's weird immediately though. Rika followed Titus this time. They just smile at each other. And ignore the soccer ball that gets kicked at Titus by the Bee Island Soccer Team. Then like the degenerates they are, they just swim to the weird part of the beach where there's a hidden item and no one can see them unless they swim out there. And they fuck. It just becomes a black screen with weird moans that sound like when they take damage, but moanier. I hate it. I walk away from the game for an hour.
It's still going. I have to ignore it for a week straight before they finally stop fucking. Cause they got arrested for being perverts too long. It only lasts an hour, their punishment is what I justify. And it's simple: They must commit to Yumie's pilgrimage as Guardians. As is intended of the game to begin with.
The dark side of Yumie agrees immediately to my surprise.
"I can use expendable soldiers for the cause." Yumie says bluntly.
"Wow, Yumie is a evil general in this version of the game. Sweet." I say happily.
I'm actually delighted by Yumie being a manipulative bitch. Until it fits in way too well. As I go through the tutorials for all the party members, I overanalyze Yumie. She's a Summoner that uses big monsters to fight the enemies in this game. Which makes her something like a rich girl with lots of powerful Bodyguards to help her succeed in her quest.
And we get paid to kill monsters and stuff. She's rich as hell. Or the Kevinites are, cause Kevin is sponsoring the Pilgrimage apparently.
"Yeah, I just have the Head Priest's credit card for the church." Yumie says happily.
After the tutorials, we are on a ship to another island. Which goes wrong for many, many reasons.
To start with, the sins of the whole party rise up. And they all want to rob everyone on the ship. Or hurt them. For many reasons.
"We need to sabotage the Lucain Goalers. Or else they'll win the tournament." Wokka says angrily.
"We need to eliminate other Summoners so I can be the one to win. Break their ankles." Yumie says angrily.
"I need more chemicals for my spells. I have to rob the ship for their supplies." Kuku says calmly.
It is now a long string of robberies and assaults to get through this ship, to the next island. I try to get through it peacefully by shopping with the Merchant, O'Well. But O'Well instead tries to pay me to kill the two Military Soldiers guarding a room in the back so he can rob their personal storage. Which Titus accepts without hesitation. I try arguing with the AI to backout but he won't let me. He ignores me, the whole game does.
Except for Yumie entering the room, pointing at me, and ordering me.
"Work with us Player. Or we delete this game permanently!"
Then Father Sternage calls me on my cell phone.
"Don't listen to that evil game, Jacob. Just turn it off and read the bible." he pleads sadly.
I just hang up the phone. And stare at my corrupted childhood game. Then I approach the soldiers. Where Titus pulls out his sword. And easily cuts them down without even a fight playing. Just two easy swipes of his sword, and they're on the ground. Bleeding out from their chests…
Then we enter the room, where I see what I knew from a fan theory of mine. It's a Demon from Sin's body. It acts as a lure for Sin. Titus closes the doors, and locks it behind him.
"Ah ha! I'm telling the news about this!" O'Well says happily.
Titus pulls out his sword, leaps across the room, and cuts O'Well down next. But O'Well tanks it with ease, barely flinching. And heals himself.
"Don't be rude, lad. I'm on your side. Let me in on your scheme. You need someone to buy items from, and to sell your stolen goods to anyway." O'Well says with cunning friendliness.
"Listen to him." Yumie says seriously.
It ends there, with everyone except Titus hiding. He just thinks to himself "Time to take care of everything else our Party needs."