I thought much about life. Especially after the first conversation.
"All videogames are for kids. It just shows what life should be." Father Sternage says firmly.
It was a peculiar statement that has not vibed with me for a while. It isn't even politics. It's physics.
"Why don't more videogame characters jump?" I ask angrily.
Father Sternage's eyes widen with shock. Then he's utterly annoyed.
"Jacob, don't be a dietician on me. This is stupid." Repo says angrily.
"We've heard this before, please don't debate us on jumping." Father Sternage says sadly.
… I smack my fists against the table.
"It's cause you want fat builds to be the build of life!" I snap angrily.
They glare at me.
"Jacob, I'm not fat." Father Sternage says with dry humor.
"I am, fuck you Jacob." Repo says angrily.
"Okay, but if your christian games are what's supposed to represent reality, then why don't we jump more?" I argue sternly.
"Jacob, we didn't make those games, go argue with their preacher. I don't care." Father Sternage says, bitterly stern.
I look down at the table, pouting and gathering my thoughts. I'm gathering my thoughts over years of gaming. Especially games with Christian themes.
I remember New Fantasy 10. The game that fights with Nevon. Twice. And they feel the same to an extent. The Church has all kinds of technology for power and self-defense. But everything else is unnecessary besides Blitzball. It's a similar thought process.
The game ends with defying church thought patterns. Cause why not? You get locked into the same place for life if you follow God too long. At least, mankind's idea of God at this moment. We need new ideas, new heroes, new stories, new perspectives.
I don't like the current God. I'm a liberal in a Republican God's world. It's bullshit. Everything is a joke to the culture. I'm anti-thetical to God and America. And well, we vibe with it. Cause I have an Absolute Morality on almost everything.
Cause I unfortunately attract attention with my streaming career. I'm playing a Catman game. A superhero detective game. I am considering investigating the Priest for a crime. It doesn't even give me the option. But it happens.
A viewer is arguing with me about morality.
NiceGuy: You shouldn't suspect the Preacher, he's better than you. He's a Saint.
I sigh angrily.
"Dude, who even cares what you think? You haven't been paying attention to the case. He covered for the Chemist being lazy with his security." I say sternly.
He hadn't been doing his job. His lock was broken and they didn't get it repaired fast enough. They got robbed of chemicals because of that.
"They need to let me check the security footage." I say annoyedly.
NiceGuy: Trust me, the employees wouldn't do it.
I sigh angrily.
"We must suspect everyone. No one is above suspicion. They can all be liable for it." I say sternly.
NiceGuy: They'd be arrested for it though.
"Not everyone is smart enough to avoid doing a crime just because of a punishment." I say with restrained anger.
He leaves the stream, along with everyone else. It's annoying. My stream gets its bitrate bombed for a while after that cause they're rude probably. I dunno. Or maybe I streamed too much that week. I dunno, I never call tech support.
"You people have too much loyalty in those with seniority." I say annoyedly.
"We test them well. Trust me." Government Agent Dan says, angrily stern.
I hate it, nothing makes sense with them.
"If we want vision journeys, they make them for us! Don't make us give you one." Government Dan says angrily.
"So you're gonna drug me?" I say confusedly.
"It's a videogame. That you're forced to play." Government Dan says angrily.
I vibe with it immediately. I smirk too hard. He storms off cause he's mad I liked that too hard.
They did it the next fucking day. It began with me playing Grandus Theftus Automobiles 5. Where a Preacher calls me on the phone after I do a drive by.
It's Father Sternage. Ugh.
"So you just shoot innocent people for fun in videogames? Huh punk?" he says angrily.
"They're just 1s and 0s, sir. Don't be rude and schizo." I say annoyedly.
It's a bit spooky they hack into my game. But it is what it is. Especially cause it morphs into another game. My workplace, in this game. They hate me immediately cause I pick up the first optional weapon I see. A pipe.
"Why'd you do that?" Father Sternage says angrily.
"Cause your cock is small, I dunno. It's spooky, games only drop weapons when there's gonna be a fight." I say annoyedly.
They delete my weapon. Then drop me at my line. Where I just run a simulation of my job. For a minute. Then I stop.
"This vision journey sucks. I'm going on a walk outside." I complain bitterly.
I just leave. I come back thirty minutes later, and it's all gone. I get to play my games like normal. Until it all comes up again. For no reason, and all the reasons.
I go on another rampage in a videogame. Dork Souls 5. Cause it's the end of the game, I wanted to kill all the NPCs.
"You're a psychopath Jacob! For shame!" Father Sternage guilts angrily.
I play a videogame and call out how it's a horny game. Shint Megamint Tensity 5. It's too sexy, it's a horny as fuck game.
"Quit looking at porn while livestreaming, you fucking prostitute! Heathen! Kill yourself!" Father Sternage says angrily.
Gaming while the Church is on your ass sucks a lot. But then I lock them in a debate that's funny. And annoying. I'm playing Deus Ex Machina. I'm a Cop in this game. I thought they'd like it. They didn't.
"Jacob, you should've been able to talk that out." Father Sternage says angrily.
"Officer, I mean Priest. They didn't even give the option for negotiation." I say angrily.
"You didn't check, I checked the footage." Father Sternage says angrily.
They show the footage of my livestream. They're right, I opened fire first. I sigh, and decide to try negotiation. It goes a bit far actually.
"Alright, I'm with Interpol. Everyone calm down. And prepare to be arrested. I'm calling for backup." Adamson Jensenson says calmly.
"We will fight you all if you arrest me!" Gangster A yells angrily.
I'm given three options. Calm, Angry, and Plead. I pick Angry.
"Alright fuckers, I ain't gonna ask twice. You're criminal, get against the wall or else!" Adam yells angrily.
They open fire on me. And thus starts the next scenario. Fighting them off. They guilt trip me still.
"I could've gotten through that by being nice and letting them keep the money." Father Sternage says angrily.
"I'm the Cop, I shouldn't do that." I say angrily.
I fight them off with guns. They're mad I kill people and literally reset the map.
"Fight them without murder." Father Sternage says, angrily firm.
I just take the challenge on. Cause why not? I'm bored. I clear it with a stun gun and melee takedowns. It's a long, boring challenge with a few retries. Eventually I pass and move on.
It ends for the day at that point. Until I'm back at work the next day.
:"Why do you fight so hard against us?" Toad says sadly.
"Your way of life makes no sense to me." I say angrily. "The worst sin is surprisingly the most harmless. But it's still real: you avoid stimulation. All of you do. It's too sad to me. I'll never be a Christian like you." I say with defiant anger.
"You're a weird one, Jacob." Toad says, bemused.
"I suppose." I say sadly.
Being weird… I obsessed over it next. To the point, it became obvious. The world is boring and simple to Christians. To me, it's complicated and tingling with life. Possibilities. Chaos. It's a maelstrom they control with malevolent boredom. They are the White Knights that lock away the forces of Chaos.
The ideas themselves. It's just religious dogs eating up the world and starving us of anything new. Anything weird.
Everything is weird eventually. The most popular show in America is Breaking Meth, about being a Meth Dealer. It's too good.
Or so I thought. A Priest lets me in on a secret of life that is so stupid, it makes sense in Church land.
"It's not good, it's just a metaphor for how being a drug dealer sucks. We make it seem popular so people will watch how bad it is to be a drug dealer." Toad says angrily.
"What? So its popularity is fake?" I say sadly.
"Yeah. Obviously." Lance says bitterly.
This is when the divide between me and the church becomes massive.
"You shouldn't even be creative. You should just keep working. Your thought patterns are fried. You keep fighting things that don't need fought. Learn to lose sometimes." Toad says sternly.
"Being creative is a waste of time, just get a better job. Work harder." Senior Op Dave says bluntly.
It's just a wash from that point on.
"Being creative always leads to wanting to fight God. Argue with God, Claim you have better morality than everyone else. You ain't the Church, you're a loser." Sister-In-Law says angrily.
I'm at a family cookout now, with Father Sternage there. This blows.
"Just work Jacob. Your books are gonna go sour. We analyzed you." Uncle says angrily.
This is when they explain something bullshit and unfortunately makes some sense.
"When they botted some of you writers, it wasn't for what you think. We wanted to see how your minds would develop using your stories. And you go to dark places all the time." Father Sternage says seriously.
I have to restrain myself from assaulting the Priest when he explains this.
"You used bots to read my mind and predict what I'd write? What fucking pieces of shit!" I snap angrily.
They cuff me to a pole. And keep lecturing me about my mind. Which is peculiarly interesting.
"Jacob, you're smarter than you seem but you're lazy as shit. You'd rather spend all day in your head, theorizing how to make everyone agree with you and let you do stupid shit instead of work. You want to rule the world just to appease your own morality." Father Sternage says angrily.
"Eh, that's everyone really." I say calmly.
"I follow God, not you. Weirdo." Father Sternage says angrily.
It's basically over at this point. They just go on and on about how my stories suggest I'm a perverted, violent man like all Japanese people.
"Mangas shouldn't even exist, we just keep them around to see who's a sinner." Father Sternage says angrily. "You're so Japanese, it's sad. You should be deported. You embrace the art of brutality too much."
"Huh?" I ask, confused.
"It's too realistic. And violent. And horny." Father Sternage says angrily.
I ponder it for a moment.
"I agree. But it's necessary cause it's realistic. To an extent. We need it for people to know what life is like. And to learn self-control." I say calmly.
"Why do you need self-control from a manga?" Uncle says angrily.
"Men and women need to learn to control their lust. And wrath. And learn about life. Mangas and stories like the Japanese stuff is mature enough, it's necessary. It warns you about life sometimes." I say seriously.
Father Sternage calls me a heathen under his breath, and we all go home after that. They just think I'm a deplorable douchebag at that point. It's annoying as shit.
It's annoying an entire culture's art style is considered heresy because it's too horny and violent, but it does make sense. In a realistic story, you can learn too much. And let's be honest, you can learn basic Poker Face Theory from the smart ones. Like Leaf Note. The anime about a guy who kills criminals to create a perfect society. It teaches everyone how to be a good manipulative liar if you follow his basic ideas.
That's the least of your concerns, let's be real. Martial Arts are the real killer. You can learn too much from the Japanese in that regard. Let's be honest. Especially if you use the basic moves. Cause those are the real ones. Magic isn't real kid. But I'll be real with ya. If everything is realistic, then magic is something justifiable. Like a fireball is a molotov cocktail in real life. It could just be a pretty dressing to hide a dangerous reality.
To the point where I wonder if that's another hidden variable of games. It probably is in Realistic Fantasy games. Cause why not simulate stuff like that? But then I'm still mad. Cause if they're simulating fighters that hard, it's obvious what they want. So many games want us to learn how to live without jumping. They don't even want you jumping off a small ledge while you have too much stuff. It's so annoying. Videogames are gonna make people too lazy cause of stuff like that.
"That's literally why Nideo Nojama made Death Walking. It's about not being lazy. We hate it, it's all unnecessary. His church is wrong. I argue with his students once a weak on their forum." Father Sternage says angrily.
"You argue about not being lazy?" I say annoyedly.
"It's too much work to be that kind of delivery guy. They should make roads. And learn to drive off road trucks." Father Sternage complains bitterly.
Death Walking is literally an argument about a specific way to deliver goods. Literally, that's the point of the game. It's a method to traverse mountains with heavy amounts of goods. And Father Sternage's church is arguing they pave roads through the mountain, use airplanes, or literally anything else. Like not live there. At all. Go live on the ground, off the mountain, his church says.
And Nideo Majima's church argues with Death Walking that it is the ideal way to make deliveries in the mountain to the point that everyone should do it. They think it's superior to our Postal Service even.
Videogames can be weird when it comes to morality these days when we spend millions to prove one man's postal service is better than everyone else's.