Chapter 4: The One with the Pizza Night
Rachel was sitting alone in Central Perk, staring into her coffee cup. The day had been rough. Her dad had called, and their conversation was mostly him yelling about how she'd ruined his life. Just then, Adam came up, a glint in his eye.
"Rachel, my favorite former runaway bride. You look like you just saw a ghost. A very, very expensive ghost in a suit."
Rachel sighed. "It's just… I heard about Barry's new suit. It's stupid, I know. But it just… makes me feel like I'm in a different world. Like he's moved on and I'm just… stuck. And everyone else is so busy."
Adam sat down, his face a rare moment of genuine sincerity. "Hey. You're not stuck. You're just taking a different road. And your road has a much better view. And it doesn't have Barry the Dentist on it, so that's a win." He then lowered his voice, a hint of his usual mischief returning. "Speaking of roads, I just got a little… windfall. The System helped me out. So, I'm thinking of having a party tonight. You in?"
"Alright, System. The Bellucci dates have been great, and now I have this expensive ring to sell. As a joke, and only as a joke, because I'm totally broke, how can I get a pile of money to throw a party?"
[To fund a group event with Monica Bellucci, search under the trash can near the corner of Bleecker Street and Broadway. You will find a misplaced wallet containing $200. Use this for the group event on October 10, 1994.]
Adam had, of course, found the money. It was exactly where the System said it would be. The Dating System was apparently also a "find money for cool things" system.
Later that night, the group gathered at Monica's apartment. The living room was a scene of controlled chaos. Ross was on the couch, his arm in a sling. He'd been hit by a puck at a hockey game with Joey and Chandler.
"I'm telling you, it was a blur! I just saw this little black thing coming at me, and then… BAM! My life flashed before my eyes! All seven years of my life with my sister!"
Joey, laughing, reenacted the scene with a bagel. "And then the puck came flying, and Ross was all like… 'My face! My beautiful, beautiful face!'"
Adam, meanwhile, was the master of ceremonies. He had ordered an obscene amount of pizza. "Okay, everyone! Lavish pizza night! It's all on me! We have Hawaiian, we have pepperoni, we have… a mystery one that I'm pretty sure has something weird in it. Let's party!"
Monica, however, had other plans. She had noticed Adam's excitement over the pepperoni pizza. When no one was looking, she swapped his pepperoni with a special pizza she had doctored with a ton of hot sauce.
Adam took a huge bite, and his face instantly turned bright red. "Whoa! What is this? This is… oh my God, my mouth is on fire! Monica!"
Monica just smirked, a triumphant look on her face. "Whoopsie-daisy! I guess some people can't handle the heat."
The group laughed at Adam's suffering. Phoebe, however, started singing a song. "Hot pizza, hot pizza, burny in your mouth. Tingly, tingly, tingly…"
Later, after the laughter had died down, Rachel sat with Adam on the couch, eating a slice of plain cheese. "You know, you're really sweet. You didn't have to do all this. For me. For us."
Adam smiled. "It's what friends do. And besides, I have a plan. The hot sauce was a momentary setback. But my next Bellucci date… that's going to be something else. And when I'm a famous actor, I'll be able to afford a whole new apartment building just for me and my pizza."