Malcolm and Mari's first kiss happened less than a week after Emil and Mari started dating.
At first, it was a simple report.
Mari in the dream informed Malcolm, her childhood friend, that she and Emil had become a couple.
Because they were that kind of relationship, sharing everything, even trivial things, since childhood.
That's why the real Mari, watching it, also didn't question it.
However.
"…You became a couple with Emil."
"Yeah, hehe…."
Malcolm, hearing the words of the dream-self, subtly changed his expression for a moment.
Mari in the dream, the one speaking, didn't notice it.
Mari, watching from the side, noticed that subtle change.
Afterward.
Malcolm strangely called Mari out often.
"Come to think of it, Mari."
"Why?"
"We never properly celebrated your good exam results, did we?"
"Huh…?"
At first, it was simple greetings and small talk.
Then, to celebrate the exam's success, they even went out to eat together.
During that time, Emil found out, leading to a quarrel.
But she didn't stop.
"It's strange…! Why are you seeing him so often?"
"I told you! Malcolm and I are…!"
"Even if you're childhood friends, shouldn't you keep your distance now, considering me?"
"Seriously, stop it!"
Even though she vaguely sensed Malcolm's feelings.
Even though she knew Emil's concern wasn't excessive obsession.
Mari didn't stop.
And then.
"Mari, do you have a moment?"
"Huh…?"
The kiss began abruptly.
Malcolm suddenly kissed Mari in the empty classroom after school.
Without asking for permission.
Just for a moment, their eyes quietly met.
Malcolm kissed Mari, who was with Emil.
It was clearly an act akin to a crime.
…But Mari in the dream didn't avoid the kiss.
"Mmm…."
"...."
Smack, smack.
'Why….'
At first, she pushed Malcolm's chest away, but his persistent lips eventually made her stop resisting.
"Haa…. Mmm…."
Afterward, in the orange-lit classroom, the quiet sound of two people's tongues intertwining could be heard.
'Why….'
The translucent her watched the scene.
Mari stared blankly at the two, shedding tears.
'You have Emil….'
She couldn't understand.
She couldn't believe it.
She was clearly the same person, but she couldn't accept the dream-self.
Because she was clearly betraying Emil.
'Why, when you have what's most precious…!'
Even knowing how much Emil cherished her.
Mari betrayed him.
She couldn't understand why.
Because Malcolm in the dream was better looking than Emil?
Because he had better grades than Emil?
Because they had built affection for a longer time?
She couldn't understand any of it.
She couldn't understand, but.
'Don't…! Don't come innnn…!'
Despite Mari's resistance, the memory flowed into her mind.
'No, no… This isn't my memory…!'
But as if denying Mari's plea.
The memory flowed into Mari's mind.
And that memory gradually informed her.
The sordid reason why the dream-self chose Malcolm instead of Emil.
'No…. It's not….'
Mari hugged her knees and buried her face in front of the two people kissing.
She didn't want to see anything more.
She didn't want to defile her own heart.
This was just a simple nightmare.
She denied it, claiming it was a fabricated, fictional story.
However.
'....'
Once the memory seeped in, she couldn't help but realize.
That this memory of betrayal was truly something she had chosen.
That it was something she had actually done.
Purely Mari's own actions, not anyone's malicious manipulation.
Knowing the thoughts of Mari in the flowing memory, she realized it.
And the scene continued without stopping.
"Mari…. Listen…."
"...."
What the dream showed her was a few days after the kiss with Malcolm.
Emil and Mari's date.
The two had come out for a picnic to a place filled with flowers, enjoying the clear holiday.
But unlike the clear sky, Emil's expression was dark.
Mari, who was on a date with him, also guessed why his expression was dark, but pretended not to know.
Eventually, as if he couldn't hold back, Emil cautiously opened his mouth.
"About yesterday. …Did you go somewhere with Malcolm?"
"...."
Mari, who had been smiling at his question, instantly stiffened her expression.
"Are you asking again?"
"...."
And Mari, exhaling strong displeasure, glared at Emil sitting next to her.
"I told you last time too…!"
"No, but…."
"I told you! Malcolm is just a childhood friend! My best friend!"
"...."
Emil's suspicion was clearly legitimate.
And Mari was indeed in an improper relationship with Malcolm, just as he suspected.
But precisely because of that.
Mari became even more irritable with Emil.
"We came all this way to have fun, and you just *have* to bring that up here?"
"...."
"I'm really disappointed."
"...."
"You ruined everything. My effort to dress up nicely, making the lunchbox – it was all for nothing."
Mari unleashed sharp words without hesitation.
Those words directly wounded Emil's heart.
But Emil didn't show his hurt, only giving a gentle, apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry. I brought up something unnecessary…"
"...."
Emil seemed to trust Mari once more and didn't mention Malcolm again after that.
Mari, while feeling guilty, shamelessly hid the truth and continued her relationship with Emil.
And about a month after the kiss with Malcolm.
"I'm sorry."
"...What?"
In the end, Mari betrayed Emil.
Uttering the apology she should have made long ago, only then.
'....'
Emil, who had trusted her until the very end, wore an inexpressibly shocked expression.
And the translucent Mari, watching that scene.
'I'm sorry….'
With a blank face, she shed tears and traced Emil's untouchable face.
Stroking his pale, wounded face.
She wept endlessly.
'I'm sorry…. *sob*….'
Unlike her dream-self, she genuinely apologized to the deeply hurt Emil.
'I'm sorry….'
But she couldn't reach him.
Because this was merely a playback of what had already happened.
Even if she tried to touch him, her body passed through, and no matter how much she called out, she couldn't reach him.
That's why Mari.
Could only shed tears and apologize to Emil.
"Mari, how could you…."
"I'm sorry, but…. But I'm truly serious…!"
'I'm sorry…. *sob*, I'm sorry….'
To Emil, who had dedicated himself and strived for her from beginning to end, who had filled her lonely heart.
She offered an apology for betraying that trust.
But as if mocking Mari's feelings.
The dream-self ultimately broke up with Emil.
"...."
Emil stood alone in the spot where Mari had disappeared, gazing at the sky.
And thin tears streamed down his cheeks.
His hands and jaw began to tremble with indignation.
'This is it….'
Mari, kneeling before such an Emil, realized.
This was the answer to the question she had been so curious about.
'The reason Emil can't accept me…. This was it….'
She had already betrayed Emil once.
After receiving an unrequitable amount of love, she had betrayed him and chosen another man.
And perhaps.
Emil possessed this memory.
That's why she was having this dream.
And this was enough reason for her not to be accepted.
However.
'Still…. I don't want to….'
Mari stood up and gazed at Emil, who was standing blankly.
'I like you so much….'
She told him, even if he couldn't hear.
Hoping he would understand her true feelings.
'My heart is already full of you…. And I've even gained the memory of you loving me so much….'
Even while feeling guilty, even knowing it was selfish, Mari pleaded.
'Now, I don't even want to imagine a tomorrow without you….'
Though she couldn't touch him, she placed both hands on Emil's cheeks and looked him directly in the eyes.
Then, Emil's empty eyes pitifully met Mari's.
'I'm sorry…. I'm sorry for hurting you…. But still, *sob*, I want to be your woman….'
Mari had witnessed shocking memories, yet she steeled her heart.
Because she thought it was still alright.
'I want you….'
Although she had betrayed him, that was a different self in a different timeline.
It's still alright.
Now, she could turn things around.
So, once she woke from this dream, she would immediately rush to Emil.
She would run to him and apologize, and she would try her best to win his heart, no matter how long it took.
'I truly like you….'
She vowed that.
With the wounded Emil right before her eyes.
But as if to deny Mari's vow.
The dream showed her the story that followed, which she hadn't yet seen.
'....'
As if asking if she would still make such a vow after seeing this.
Thwack━!!
"Kyaaaah━! S-stop it━! Malcolm, now…!!"
"Has this bastard gone mad?!"
"Cough, cough…."
Emil witnessed Mari and Malcolm kissing.
And it was the very next day after Mari broke up with him.
On the rooftop where Emil and Mari's memories lay.
Thwack━! Thwack!
"Gah…!!"
"You're truly insane, aren't you? How dare a lowly guy like you!!"
"Stop it! Malcolm━!!"
"It's infuriating that a worm like you even dared to covet Mari in the first place!!"
Thwack!!
Emil, who loved Mari, naturally swung his fist at Malcolm.
But the difference in skill was too great.
Emil, who had charged in, ended up being brutally beaten by Malcolm.
"...."
'....'
After Malcolm and Mari left.
Emil, left alone on the rooftop, sat there, stained with dust and blood, with a vacant expression.
The translucent Mari knelt before such an Emil, gazing at him.
'Em, il….'
Words of apology no longer came out.
Because the wounds he had received were too great for her guilt to be diluted by a single word.
'Ugh, *sob*, Emil….'
He had his beloved woman taken from him.
Even though he had loved her devotedly and given everything without reserve, she was so easily taken from him, simply because of another's good looks and capability.
Moreover, she, after barely a day since breaking up.
Shared a kiss so easily with that man, a kiss she had refused with him.
And he, who had confronted that man, was beaten to a bloody pulp in front of the woman he loved.
Betrayal.
His wounds could not be defined by such a simple word.
'*sob*, Emil….'
Mari wept and simply watched Emil from beside him.
And she could only wish.
That he would please get up.
Get up, shake it off, and overcome it.
However.
'Em, il…?'
Emil ultimately couldn't overcome it.
In the end, he sat blankly on the rooftop until night fell.
After the sun set.
He moved to the academy's sports storage and came back up to the rooftop.
In Emil's hand.
There was a rope.
'No, nooo━!! Don't━! Don't do it━!!'
Mari waved her hands more desperately than at any other point while watching the dream.
Even knowing her body passed through, she tried to stop Emil.
Her face covered in tears, she struggled to prevent what was about to happen.
Whoosh━!!
But she couldn't stop it.
Because this was merely a replay of what had already occurred.
'Ah…. Ahh….'
Thud…!
Sway…, sway….
'Aaaah….'
As if to make her watch his figure clearly, the dream moved her in front of the academy's main building.
Then, she saw Emil's figure, precisely hanging high up.
He struggled.
His face was painfully contorted.
Instinctively, his hands grasped the rope, but it was irreversible.
And finally.
'....'
Emil met his death.
…
"...."
She woke from the dream in the early morning.
But Mari neither tried to go back to sleep nor prepared to head to the academy.
Even though just moments ago, she had vowed that once she woke from the dream, she would go to Emil first.
"...."
Mari buried her face in her knees and simply remained still.
No more tears came out.
Because it wasn't alright for someone like her to cry.
'Even after seeing Emil like that…. I did such things with Malcolm….'
In her silent mind, the memories of the dream she had just seen vividly resurfaced.
Especially the last part.
The moment she, who had witnessed Emil's suicide, mingled with Malcolm that night was enough to make her vomit.
The dream-self ignored Emil's death by being excited while pinned down by Malcolm.
Forgetting Emil and turning her back on guilt.
She had committed the most cowardly act.
Due to those memories and emotions, Mari was filled with self-loathing.
"Die…."
Mari mumbled, her face still buried in her knees.
Who was she talking to?
Malcolm…?
Or her dream-self…?
Or perhaps her current self.
"Just die…."
No matter who it was, she cursed.
"Right now… *sob*, just die…."
She cursed them deep in her heart. The man she loved, and all those who made him that way.