"Mari…. Are you okay…?"
I carefully spoke to her without closing the distance between us. My question was about her current disturbing state.
But Mari, having received the question, seemed to interpret it differently. With empty eyes, she blushed and smiled as if pleased.
"Are you worried about me…?"
Then, one step.
*Thud.*
Approaching me, she clasped both hands tightly over her chest and nodded.
"Yes! I'm fine…! Thank you, you were worried because I didn't come to the academy…!"
"Ah, uh, yes…"
"As expected…. Emil is kind…."
And with a relieved expression, she gently bowed her head.
'Kind, she says…. It's just a normal question, isn't it…?'
Something is strange. No matter how much I think about it, I'm not overreacting.
…Was the memory of the first timeline that shocking?
"Hey…. Emil…."
As I was observing Mari's condition, she, who had been hesitating, spoke first.
"I…. I understand now…."
"What…?"
"The reason Emil… can't accept me."
"…"
What she was talking about was clearly related to the first timeline. She probably realized that I also shared those memories as she recalled the first timeline.
"Right? The reason Emil won't accept me…. The reason you rejected my confession is because of that incident, isn't it?"
"…"
"Is it not…?"
Had she come to confirm it?
'I hadn't intended to tell her originally.'
Still, I thought she would realize it if she recalled the memories. It was just that even if she realized it, our relationship would already be over by then.
I had no direct plan to tell Mari, but seeing her ask with such desperate eyes, I had no choice but to answer.
"Yes, that's right. That's the reason."
"…"
Mari's face, having heard the confirmation, was instantly engulfed in despair. Perhaps, in a corner of her heart, she had wished it wasn't true.
But there was nothing to be done. It was an unchangeable fact.
However, I had no intention of treating Mari coldly, who was standing before me. After all, my goal was merely to conquer her and make her recall her memories.
I had no particular desire to fight her.
"Anyway, because of that, I can't accept your confession. I'm sorry."
I hid my uneasy feeling and smiled gently. I had no more business with her now.
However.
"W-wait a minute…!!"
Mari stopped me as I was about to turn away, as if she still had something to say.
What else could she have left to say?
As I looked at Mari again, pondering that question, she took one step, with a desperate expression. She came closer to me.
"Just once…, could you give me one more chance?"
And Mari pleaded with tear-filled eyes.
…
"Please…! Just one more chance…! I really can only look at Emil now…!"
Mari pleaded with Emil so desperately. It was as if this was her last chance. As if she would never be able to get up again if she collapsed here.
One step.
*Thud.*
She moved a little closer to him. Unlike before, the distance between them had narrowed considerably, becoming a distance where they could reach each other with just a slight move forward.
"Mari…"
At her words, asking for a chance, Emil wore a troubled expression.
'No…'
Then Mari's chest began to pound even more. Engulfed in an ominous premonition, she opened her mouth again before Emil could finish speaking.
"You know me…! I reflected a lot while having that dream…! I understood why Emil rejected me! And I understood how much it must have hurt you…!!"
"…"
"I'm sorry…. *Sob*, I'm truly sorry. You must be so disappointed in me…? You must have hated me so much? *Ugh*, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry…."
And one more step.
She approached Emil, her voice choked with tears. Now, they were close enough to barely touch if they just reached out.
But Emil didn't step back. He merely looked at Mari with a regretful expression.
"I…. I know I'm beyond saving…. And I know you'd never want a woman like that…."
"…"
"But…. Now, I'm truly sincere…. Please understand…. I know I'm shameless, *sob*…."
Mari gently reached out her hand.
And grasped Emil's hand.
Then, a familiar sensation from their memories surfaced in both their minds.
"I can't live without Emil now…."
Mari clutched the hand tightly, as if she would never let go. And looked up at Emil with empty eyes, wet with tears.
Her eyes no longer sparkled brightly as they once did.
"So…. Just once, okay? Just one more chance…. Because now I'll only look at Emil…."
And she forced a smile, looking at him. To somehow return to those happy moments from before. To return to that moment in memory where Emil also liked her, just as Mari had liked him.
But.
"I'm sorry, Mari."
Emil's feelings hadn't changed even a little.
"Why…."
Then, the forced smile instantly turned into despair as Mari spoke with an empty voice.
"Whyyyy…."
"Mari…"
"Why…! Whyyyy…! No…! Absolutely not…! *Sob*, I really can't live without you now…!!"
"There's nothing I can do."
"No…! C-come on, think about it properly…! I'm a different person from the me in that time! Huh? That Mari betrayed you, but I, I didn't…!"
Of course, Mari herself knew. Even though it wasn't something she had done, it was definitely 'something she might have done'. If the situation had been the same, she might have betrayed Emil in the exact same way.
But.
In this situation, where she might lose Emil, she appealed to the result that she 'hadn't done it' as a sliver of hope.
"I'm pure…! My first kiss is still intact…."
Now, there was only that one result to rely on. So Mari let go of Emil's hand, hugged his waist tightly, and spoke to him.
"Everything about me is new…, everything I do with you will be for the first time…. *Sob*, so I'll give you all my firsts…. I'll become Emil's alone…!"
The Mari in her dream had betrayed Emil and shared love with Malcolm. Mari hadn't forgotten Emil's shocked face upon witnessing that scene. Because she too had suffered seeing that scene.
And if that was the reason he couldn't accept her, then there was still a chance. Because, in reality, her current self was a pure body untouched by anyone.
"Huh? Emil, just one more chance…. *Sob*, I, I can do anything you want…."
Cowardly, perhaps, and ugly, but Mari spared no means or methods. Even if the feelings he had for her were purely instinctive lust. Because even that was necessary.
Mari hugged Emil's body tightly, appealing with her soft form. She wanted to become his woman, even if it was like that.
"I know, Mari."
"…Huh?"
But.
Despite Mari's struggle, Emil smiled calmly. And gently.
Separated her from himself.
"You did nothing wrong at all."
"…"
Emil's expression hadn't changed even a little. He didn't blush or feel embarrassed, nor did he stare at Mari's body lewdly. He simply looked down at her with a regretful expression.
Emil gently stroked her shoulder. From his touch on her shoulder,
Not a hint of affection could be felt.
"So, I didn't reject your confession because I resented you."
"…Then? If you don't resent me, …then accept me."
"But I can't do that."
"Whyyyy…! *Sob*, w-we can do it again…! Forget everything and start over…!!"
"It's because I can't forget."
"…"
At Emil's bitter reply, Mari instantly fell silent. The image of Emil hanging himself in the academy's main building, which she had constantly avoided,
Wavered before her eyes.
"I know you're not bad. And that you didn't do anything wrong."
"…"
"But still, I can't forget. Mari, you've remembered it too, haven't you?"
As he said.
She knew well.
What kind of pain he had suffered due to her betrayal.
The facts she had ignored were brought back to her mind by Emil's calm reply. Therefore, Mari could only shed tears and lower her head, unable to respond.
As if to comfort her, Emil spoke gently.
"It's okay, Mari. The pain of heartbreak is temporary. Even if you feel like you only have me now, you'll surely find another good person."
"…No, that won't… happen."
"Don't be so sure. You know, like…"
And Emil hesitated for a moment. Then, he smiled gently and spoke carefully.
"Because there's Malcolm too."
"…"
"Anyway, you loved Malcolm in the last life, didn't you? So you'll definitely be fine this time too."
"…"
Emil's words were meant as comfort. But on the other hand, they were also cruel. Bringing up Malcolm here meant that he still thought of Mari as Malcolm's woman, after all.
"Well then, I'll be going. Go inside early. …The night air is cold."
"…"
Afterward, Emil left the silent Mari behind and returned to the dormitory.
A familiar pattern.
The same result had occurred once again. She had been rejected, left standing alone, idly, on an empty street.
It was no different from when she had confessed before.
*Drip, drip…*
"No, Emil…."
Mari stood alone on the street, shedding tears and murmuring. She uttered words that wouldn't reach him, who was no longer in front of her.
"I will never go back to Malcolm…."
And she gently smiled with empty eyes.
"So…. It'll really be okay…."
Staring blankly at the end of the path where Emil had left.
She clutched her heart, which she still hadn't given up on.
"Because I still, only have you…."
Someday, definitely.
To become the woman he loves.