For a moment, the world stopped.
Mari's mind went blank, to the point where she felt like that illusion was real.
But the stopping was an illusion.
Emil's cruel voice continued.
"…I've never thought of being in that kind of relationship with you."
"..."
She hadn't misheard.
"...I see."
So Mari nodded with a blank expression.
What kind of face was Emil making?
She couldn't meet his eyes.
Because if she met his eyes, tears felt like they would immediately pour out.
But.
Mari's efforts were in vain; tears were already freely streaming from her reddened, strained eyes.
"Ugh, hiccup, I, I'm sorry…! This… It's not on purpose… Hiccup, I'm sorry…"
"..."
It was embarrassing.
She wanted to hide somewhere.
Such thoughts kept bubbling up, but what painfully tore at her heart the most was one cruel reality.
━Emil didn't like her.
"Hiccup… Ugh, hiccup…"
"..."
Her tears wouldn't stop at that fact.
And Emil silently watched her.
He didn't comfort her with a warm touch as he had before.
Was that why?
"Hiccup, Emil…"
"Yes."
"J-just one thing… Hiccup, can I ask you something…?"
"Yes, ask."
Mari, holding onto a faint hope, carefully and slowly looked at Emil's face, tears still falling.
"..."
Then Emil's sorrowful expression came into view.
Why was he making such a face?
Mari couldn't understand.
She simply held his face in her tear-obscured vision and carefully opened her mouth.
"...What kind of person do you like?"
"..."
It was a question she had asked before.
But now she knew.
The answer Emil had given then was merely a consideration to help her focus on the exam.
That's why she was even more curious.
She was curious about the conditions to become his woman.
"Tell me, hiccup, I… I'll try my best…! I'm really serious…! You might feel burdened, but please know just that… So…!"
"..."
"...Tell me what kind of person I need to be for you to accept me."
She earnestly pleaded with him.
Of course, she knew.
That he might dislike such a clinging woman.
But even so, Mari didn't want to let go of that sliver of hope.
Because now, his presence had taken such a large hold in her heart that she couldn't do anything about it.
And to Mari's desperate question.
"..."
Emil, with sad eyes, slowly answered.
"I'm sorry…"
"...Huh?"
"Mari, you can't."
"W-why…?"
"The reason is, ...I can't tell you."
"..."
And Emil smiled faintly.
"You're a good person. …Surely another good person will come for you soon."
"..."
"Sorry, I'll go first. ...See you tomorrow."
After that, he turned around, still smiling but with sad eyes, looking at Mari.
And then, he disappeared from in front of Mari.
Mari stood rooted to the spot, blankly staring at his back until it was out of sight.
'Why…'
She couldn't be the one.
'Why was that…'
Emil had answered that way.
'Why can't it be me…?'
Two reasons surfaced in her cruelly torn heart.
He didn't like Mari.
Or.
There was someone else he liked.
"..."
As soon as the second reason came to mind, a person immediately came to mind.
Sierra.
'Could it be that he likes her…?'
Drip, drip….
"Hiccup… sob, ugh… hiccup…"
After Emil disappeared, Mari walked down the road, sobbing sadly.
The way to the dormitory felt incredibly long.
Tomorrow felt like it would never come.
But eventually, Mari arrived at the dormitory.
Thud.
She collapsed onto her bed without even changing her clothes.
"..."
It was cruel.
She even felt resentful.
Certainly, until dinner, Mari had been as happy as if she owned the world.
That moment had been even happier than when she was acknowledged by Damien.
That happiness vanished in an instant.
Mari felt agony, as if she had been forcibly woken from a happy dream she didn't want to leave.
But precisely because of that.
She missed Emil.
'Am I not good enough…?'
If only she could be loved by him, she could truly do anything.
Her appearance, personality, habits, even her gender.
She could do anything he wanted.
Emil didn't tell her the answer.
That's why Mari was even more distressed and agonized.
"Goddess… Please…"
Mari lay face down on her bed, gazing at the moon outside her window.
And she earnestly prayed to that moon.
"Please… Tell me the answer…"
The moon silently illuminated her, saying nothing.
But as if answering her.
Ding!
Mari felt as if she heard a sound inside her head.
And Emil, in another part of the dormitory.
A message appeared before his eyes.
[Conditions met! 'Memory of Despair' will be activated!]
As Emil saw that message and lay down on his bed.
Mari suddenly began to feel an unknown drowsiness.
She had been sobbing sadly just moments ago, so she certainly wasn't sleepy.
But by some force, Mari fell into a deep sleep.
. . .
'What is this…?'
The sleeping Mari immediately opened her eyes.
What she saw upon opening her eyes was a familiar scene.
'A hallway…?'
She was standing in a hallway of the academy's main building.
But she immediately knew this was a dream.
Because Mari had fallen asleep at night, but the scene before her eyes was early morning.
'Why am I here…'
A dream too vivid to be just a dream.
It felt as if she had just arrived at the academy.
But her translucent body reminded her that this was a dream.
And then.
"Ma-Mari—!!"
'...Huh?'
A familiar voice came from behind her.
The man she had so desperately wanted to see before falling asleep.
Emil.
He was standing in front of Mari as she turned around.
He seemed to have hurried from somewhere, his breathing ragged, and he was holding the hand of a troubled-looking male student beside him.
And standing in front of Emil was none other than 'Mari'.
"…What, it's you again?"
The version of herself standing before her spoke to Emil in an unbelievably cold voice.
Despite her attitude, Emil smiled brightly and showed her the male student he was holding.
"Here! This guy's grades are really high! Do you know that?"
"...I know, but."
"He says he wants to join your group!"
"R-really?"
At Emil's words, Mari looked at the student beside her with surprised eyes.
Then the male student nodded silently with a troubled expression.
And seeing that, Emil straightened his back proudly and spoke.
"So, let me join your group too!"
"...What?"
"I told you before, I'd bring one honor student, so let me join your group."
"...Pfft."
At Emil's words, Mari, who had been quiet, laughed brightly.
"You're really a strange kid, aren't you? …Alright. Let's do it together."
"Really? Yes—!"
And when she agreed, Emil, having received permission, smiled, overjoyed as if he could leap.
'This is…'
The translucent Mari watching all of it from the side.
She was looking at the three people with an expression of disbelief.
The scene before her eyes was more vivid than any memory.
But it was certainly not in her own memories.
No.
A scene 'different' from her own memories was playing out.
'Why would Emil bring another student… And why did I reject Emil…?'
It was full of things she couldn't understand.
So Mari, with a bewildered expression, simply watched the versions of herself and Emil in front of her.
Because all she could do in this dream was watch anyway.
And time gradually began to flow.
"Mari…"
"Hiccup, ugh, hiccup… What, hiccup, why…"
"Uh, …sorry, I overheard."
"Go away… Ugh, I said go away… Leave me alone…"
"..."
Again, a familiar yet different scene from her memory played out.
'I see…'
But as Mari continued to watch that scene, she immediately realized.
'These are my memories from a different timeline…'
The reason she could realize this was synchronization.
Because the dream scenes the translucent Mari watched were soon converted into memories and absorbed into her mind.
The memory of Emil bringing an honor student from a moment ago also vividly came to mind, as if she had already experienced it.
And this scene she was currently watching.
Where she had just been hurt by Damien, and Emil, secretly watching, comforted her.
This scene, completely different from Mari's memory, also.
Soon transformed into another new memory and seeped into her mind.
'I'm watching the story of… me and Emil from a different timeline now.'
Why was something like this possible?
'...'
Mari watched the versions of herself and Emil from another world and sought the answer to that question.
"Do you dislike it if I study with Malcolm?"
"…Focus on your studies, Mari."
"You can't even answer that? Idiot, dummy, coward."
"...Of course I dislike it. Stop asking and just study."
"Why? Why do you dislike it?"
The scenes continuously unfolding before her eyes flowed completely differently from her memories.
'In that timeline, Emil was a diligent hard worker….'
What was most different was Emil.
'And… he likes me….'
Emil's attitude towards her was completely different from what she had experienced.
The fact that Emil wasn't good at studying was also different, but.
Mari's attention was drawn more to the tender affection she felt from Emil.
'That Emil… likes me.'
Drip, drip….
Translucent tears flowed from the translucent Mari's eyes.
But still, Mari couldn't tear her eyes away.
The scene the dream showed her was.
Something she had yearned for more earnestly than anything else.
'Emil is that passionate when it comes to someone he likes….'
In reality, she had pursued Emil.
She had tried her best to somehow win his affection.
She had studied even harder to confess to him.
But then.
"Mari…! I found the solution! Here…!"
"Oh? Really? Wow! How did you do it?"
Emil in the dream was the opposite.
He looked at Mari adoringly and did anything and everything for her without holding back.
He worked hard, running around as much as his average grades demanded.
He ran until he was exhausted, bowed his head desperately to others, stumbled, and got hurt, but.
Nevertheless, Emil was smiling.
How enviable.
Because those efforts soon became Mari's help.
How enviable.
Emil was truly happy helping Mari.
So enviable.
Love could be felt in his actions and expressions.
That's why.
Mari couldn't stop her tears.
Because what she longed for was there.
'Is this…. the answer to my prayer…?'
Mari looked at the dream scene and spoke to the goddess who might be watching from somewhere.
Before falling asleep.
Because the prayer she had murmured while looking at the moon came to mind.
'Are you telling me to just… be content with happy memories…?'
Another scene transformed into a new memory and seeped into Mari.
Then, memories from another timeline began to coexist within Mari.
The memory of her pursuing Emil and yearning for love.
The memory of Emil pursuing her and bestowing love.
Holding those two memories in her heart, Mari sobbed.
And.
"Mari…"
"..."
The scene she had been watching, shedding tears, soon reached its conclusion.
"I truly love you."
It was after the mid-term exams.
'...Ah.'
Again, a scene different from her own experience continued.
"Will you… be my girlfriend?"
Emil in the dream confessed to her.
And the version of herself in the dream, as if she had expected it, yet with a shy expression, nodded.
"Yes…"
Just like that, the two became lovers.
The love with Emil, which Mari had so desperately wanted today, had begun.
'...'
The translucent Mari, watching the scene from the side, blankly stared at the version of herself in the dream.
A seemingly happy smile.
She chatted with Emil, laughing cutely.
There were no tears in that Mari's eyes.
She looked truly happy.
'Why couldn't it be me….'
Mari muttered, gazing at that scene.
As if seeking an answer.
Not as a 'memory that might have happened if' when she woke from the dream.
But earnestly wishing for it to come true with Emil in real life.
'What was I lacking….'
She kept muttering like that.
Now, the version of herself in the dream would be happy.
Because she had gained the precious connection she had so desperately wished for.
To herself, who was born an illegitimate child, abandoned by her mother, and ignored by her father.
Because she had finally gained a wonderful man who would give her unconditional love.
The version of herself in the dream would be happy.
'...'
Yet another new memory seeped into her mind.
Now, the memory of being rejected by Emil and the memory of becoming lovers with Emil coexisted within her.
'Should I be satisfied with this….'
But the dream didn't end.
Even though she had clearly obtained the memories she desired.
As if she had to see more.
The dream scene continued.
And.
'...Huh?'
Mari realized.
"Mari!"
"...Malcolm."
That this wasn't some kind of consideration to comfort her in her sorrow.
'What is this…. Why is this happening….'
This wasn't consideration.
This was the answer.
'Why am I with Malcolm….'
The answer she had earnestly prayed for.
The answer to the question of why Emil couldn't accept her.
'No, no…'
And Mari, watching that answer, cried out with a pale face.
Even though she knew what she was watching was an unchangeable 'memory'.
'Don't do it…!'
She waved her hands, shedding tears.
At her own body, which was pressing its lips against Malcolm's.
She desperately gestured, passing her translucent hands through her body.
But despite her struggles.
'Don't do ittt—!!'
The new memory.
Seeped into Mari's mind.