[INT. LADIES ROOM – DAY]
Emma steps out of a stall, gingerly holding her hands in the air as she approaches the sinks. The sound of coughing and retching echoes through the room. Emma goes to investigate and opens a stall to find Rachel on her knees, hunched over the toilet.
Emma blinks. "Rachel, did you just throw up?"

Rachel wipes her mouth. "No."
Emma tilts her head. "You missed the toilet."
Rachel shrugs. "The girl who was throwing up before me left that. I tried, but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex."
Emma stares for a beat. "One day when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift. Let's have a little chat, okay?"
[INT. GUIDANCE OFFICE – DAY]
Emma hands Rachel a pamphlet titled "So You Like Throwing Up: Understanding and Overcoming Bulimia." She peers out into the corridor and waves to Will.
Emma clears her throat. "Rachel, bulimia is a very messy, serious disease."
Rachel crosses her arms. "I don't have bulimia. I tried it and failed and won't ever attempt it again."
Emma nods awkwardly. "Okay."
Rachel adds, "It grossed me out."
Emma softens. "Okay. But I still want to talk about the feelings that you had that led up to you wanting to puke your guts out."
Rachel looks away. "I want to be thinner. Prettier, like that Quinn girl."
Emma gently asks, "And why is that?"
Rachel sighs. "Have you ever liked someone so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?"
Emma blinks. "No."
She sneaks a glance toward the hallway, where Will walks past.
[INT. EMMA'S CAR – DAY]
Emma sits in her car, crying as rain pours outside. "All By Myself" plays on the radio.
Emma, tearful and alone, sings softly. "By myself. I'm by myself."

[INT. GUIDANCE OFFICE – DAY, CONT.]
Emma clears her throat. "Uh, but a boy crush, huh? I know about that. I mean, not now. It takes me back in the—like a long time ago, I knew about that. You know what? You need to remember, Rachel, to protect your heart. I don't care who he is. If he doesn't like you for the way you are—if he's married with a baby on the way—that's not worth the heartache. You don't want to compromise yourself for that."
She fidgets. "Have you just tried telling him how you feel?"
Rachel's voice is quiet. "He doesn't even notice me."
Emma sighs. "I see. Okay. Well, here's what I think. Common interests are the key to romance. All right? So find out what he likes. Then he'll see you in a positive way and maybe you'll end up doing something that you never would have expected."
Rachel nods slowly, a hopeful smile growing on her face.
CUT TO: INT. FIGGINS' OFFICE – DAY
Rachel and Finn are sitting in front of Figgins' desk. Sue and Will stand on opposite sides of the room.

Sue says, "Would you like to tell Principal Figgins and Mr. Schuester what I caught you two doing?"
Finn replies, "It just sort of happened."
Rachel chimes in, "I don't mean to be rude, but I think she's overreacting."
Sue glares. "You watch your tone, young lady." She turns to Figgins. "Gay parents encourage rebellion. There are studies on this."
Will jumps in. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Then to Rachel, "All right, tell me what happened, Rachel."
Rachel calmly explains, "Finn was worried about having to perform a solo at the pep assembly in front of his chromosomally challenged friends. I was immediately concerned by his lack of self-esteem and made a creative preemptive strike."
Finn nods. "Yeah, pretty much what she said."
CUT TO: INT. ART ROOM – DAY
Rachel and Finn are sitting at the table, working on a flyer.
Rachel says, "You know, one of the amazing things about being in the performing arts is that you can parlay it into so many different fields. Like Justin Timberlake—he's a singer, but he also has a clothing line. And, you know, he makes things like shirts and belts."
Finn looks puzzled. "Who's Justin Timberlake?"
Rachel's voice-over begins. "It was a twofold plan."
Just outside the copy room, Elena leans against the wall with her arms crossed. She watches Finn and Rachel sneak inside.
Elena smirks and pulls out her phone. "Hey, Coach Sylvester? Rachel and Finn are in the copy room. Using your copier."
CUT TO:
INT. COPY ROOM – DAY
Rachel and Finn are making copies of their flyer.
Rachel's voice-over continues. "We figured that with the right marketing strategy, we could pull from the entire student body without having an assembly, thus creating the diverse Glee Club this school has been craving."
Sue storms into the room after getting Elena's text. When she realizes what they are doing, she drops her protein shake on the floor.
CUT TO:
INT. FIGGINS' OFFICE – DAY, CONT.
Sue fumes. "That copy machine is for Cheerios use only. Paid for by alumni donations. I can't begin to fathom the damage you'd have done to the program had you broken it."
Will raises a hand. "Hold on a second, Sue."
Sue snaps, "I resent being told to hold on to anything, William. I will not be treated like a second-class citizen because of my gender. There is a very clear bureaucracy when it comes to photocopies, and you seem to think that these procedures don't apply to your students." She turns to Figgins. "It is my strong recommendation that both these students be hobbled."
Will looks to Finn and Rachel. "How many copies did you guys make?"
Sue answers for them. "Seventeen."
Will nods. "Okay. And how much does a photocopy cost?"
Figgins replies, "Four and a half cents."
Will offers a solution. "How about they just pay for the copies?"
Figgins agrees. "I like this compromise. Children, pay Ms. Sylvester, and we'll let you off with a warning. And Sue, I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to personally clean the congealed protein shake off the photocopy room floor."
Sue is indignant. "That's why we have janitors."
Figgins shakes his head. "Sue, we're in a recession, and concessions must be made. I've laid off half the janitorial staff. We all need to lend a hand."
Rachel, Finn, and Will nod in agreement.
Sue mutters bitterly, "Lady Justice wept today."
She extends her hand to Finn and Rachel in expectation of payment.

CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
Finn says, "I'm sorry about that Mr. Schue."
Rachel adds, "I'd like to get the flyers up before lunch tomorrow."
Will cuts them off. "You know what, guys? I don't want to hear it."
Rachel presses, "Doing that song is gonna kill any chance the Glee Club has. It's a terrible idea."
Will responds, "I have news for you, Rachel. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. We're doing the assembly and you're not putting up those flyers. Everybody loves disco!"
Will exits down the hall.
Finn sighs. "It's official. I'm a dead man."
Rachel tries to comfort him. "Look, I know you're nervous, but you're really, really talented."
Finn, a little bashful, says, "Stop it."
Rachel smiles. "I mean, maybe it'll all be okay. Do you want to practice for the assembly tomorrow after school?"
Finn replies, "I can't. I got a Celibacy Club meeting."
Finn walks away, and Rachel watches him leave.
CUT TO: INT. WILL'S APARTMENT, BATHROOM – DAY
Will and Terri are sitting together in the bathtub, Terri's back pressed to Will's chest.
Will says softly, "Baby, I have some bad news."
Terri guesses, "A wealthy relative died?"
Will sighs. "I don't have any wealthy relatives."
Terri frowns. "Oh."
Will continues, "I've just been pounding the pavement all week after Glee rehearsal. I- I can't find any extra work. That probably means no grand foyer."
Terri gets frustrated. "Why can't we ever be the ones to catch a break?"
Will tries to reassure her. "No, no, no. It's gonna be okay, baby. I mean, we don't need a grand foyer to be happy."
Terri starts to rise from the tub. "No. You know what? I'm so tired of the compromising. I want my grand foyer. I want my dream house. I work hard. I sacrifice. I deserve it."
Terri pulls on her robe.
She rants, "You know, we give and we give. Do you think that the big shots at Sheets N' Things care that I sell more personal massagers than any other assistant manager? No. Or do you think that those kids—that they give a damn that we go with so little because you spend all your spare time choreographing those stupid dance routines? I mean, when does anyone start giving back?"
Terri exits. Will sighs and sinks down under the water.
INT. COPY ROOM – DAY
[Principal Figgins is kneeling on the floor, scraping congealed protein shake from the tile. The fluorescent lights hum overhead. Will enters, surprise flickering across his face.]
Will stops just inside the door. "I thought you asked Sue to clean up after herself."
Figgins lets out a weary sigh. "Sue got a note from the school nurse claiming that her lupus made it impossible to bend over a bucket of suds. I've been here till 10:00 pm every night up to my elbows in Vamoose!"
Will glances at the mess, then back at Figgins. "Any problem with me taking over one of those nighttime janitorial slots?"

Figgins pauses, looking up at him with tired eyes.
Will adds, "I'll work at half salary."
The corner of Figgins' mouth lifts into a smile as he nods in agreement.
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