Life keeps moving, even when our hearts secretly refuse to cooperate. Unfortunately, there's no pause button, no matter how messy our mood gets.
And today, I was one of those people on strike.
Even though every part of me wanted to disappear from the face of the earth, I still dragged my feet to the office—masking my gloom behind a smile that felt painfully fake.
Yesterday's mess hadn't gone away. Not because I couldn't forget it, but because it hurt too much to simply throw it aside.
Just like what happened at the park yesterday.
I still couldn't believe Saka remembered—let alone cared enough—to do something that lifted my mood.
And for some reason… remembering that made a little spark of warmth sneak past the storm in my chest.
I arrived at the office by ojol. My poor motorcycle was still at home, lifeless. Probably crying for an oil change.
The moment I stepped into the lobby, my breath hitched.
Saka.
Standing in front of the elevator. Black suit. Cold face. Calm posture. Like an expensive wax statue… that breathed. Somehow, his presence sucked all the oxygen out of the room.
Why was he here? There wasn't supposed to be any meeting today. Tasha didn't say anything either.
I glanced at him for half a second before plotting an escape route. My eyes caught Yasmine at the receptionist desk. Without thinking, I rushed to her—like the lead actress in a soap opera running from a scandal.
She raised one brow. "Why do you look like that, Ca? Running from an ex?"
I panted. "Nope. Just… wanted to see you."
Suspicion narrowed her eyes. "Strange. Usually you just text me. Don't tell me you're running from someone."
"Don't be dramatic. Can't I miss you?"
"You can. But usually you only miss your bed."
I sighed. "Fine. I'll go clock in before I get accused of skipping attendance."
After waving her off, I hurried toward the machine, swiped my card, and waited.
My steps toward the elevator felt like walking straight into unwanted destiny.
The doors opened. Someone stood beside me.
Guess who.
"Good morning, Miss Cayra," his voice slid in effortlessly.
Oh God. Why was he still here? Wasn't the universe supposed to help me avoid this exact moment?
"Good morning, Mr. Saka," I answered politely. Professional. Always professional. He was an important client… and dangerous.
"After you," he gestured lightly.
I stepped into the elevator. Of course, he followed. Perfect. Why not just lock us together in an escape room?
The doors closed. Silence.
The white light inside the elevator felt too bright, like a spotlight deliberately aimed at my discomfort.
Only the sound of the AC and my heartbeat echoed like drum bass at a festival.
His scent drifted in the air. Not the sharp cologne of arrogant businessmen, but something calm, clean… dangerously pleasant. The kind of scent that makes you forget logic.
"Miss Cayra?"
I turned. "Yes, sir?"
"You look different today."
"…Different how?"
His eyes studied me longer than they should have. Not judgmental—no. It felt more like he was searching for cracks in my armor.
If this was a dream, don't wake me.
But if this was reality… why did it feel so suffocating?
"You look beautiful," he said simply. "But it feels like a part of you is still somewhere else."
The world froze.
No one had ever read me that deeply with just a glance.
"I just… didn't sleep well," I whispered at last.
"You shouldn't neglect your health."
His words were simple, but the warmth in his tone wasn't. Not the kind of warmth a CEO uses with a business partner… but the kind someone uses when they care.
Or when they want you to believe they care.
Ding.
The elevator opened. He stepped out first, but before leaving, he glanced back.
For a fraction of a second, his gaze softened—barely—but enough to make my chest tighten.
"If your health is compromised, you won't be able to perform at your best on the Manterra project," he said, voice calm, expression unreadable.
And then he left. Just like that. As if everything he'd said moments ago was nothing more than a line from a presentation.
I stood frozen, my thoughts spinning long after his footsteps faded.
Only when the doors threatened to close again did I stumble out, half-conscious, my reflection in the glass wall looking just as tangled as my mind.
"Great," I muttered. "So that wasn't concern. Just… project talk."
But then why did I hope it wasn't?
I scoffed under my breath. "Ugh. Orang aring. Arrogant but charming."
Yet even as I rolled my eyes, my heart beat wildly—like waiting for exam results.
Damn it, Cayra. Weak. Weak at elevator scenes.
And for some reason, his face lingered in my mind.
That gaze—too honest. That voice—too gentle.
And my heart? Still pounding.
Like EDM. Loud. Chaotic. Thrilling.
~~~
I exhaled. Again. And again. If breathing could teleport me, I'd be on another planet by now.
After that elevator incident, I hid in the pantry, pretending to stir coffee while my feelings stirred themselves.
Tasha gave me a suspicious look. I just said, "Nothing. Just looking for the sugar of life."
As if the universe wasn't done tormenting me, five minutes later I found myself sitting in a meeting room.
With Saka.
Tasha swore she only found out this morning too. Said it wasn't her fault. But still, the timing felt cruel. As if my life wasn't dramatic enough without surprise visits from an ice-blooded CEO.
Now, here we were. Me, Tasha, Yudha, and of course, him.
Apparently Yudha was better now after being sick. Not that I asked. I had enough trouble juggling my own chaos.
Saka stood. Instantly, the air shifted. Everyone's attention turned to him—mine included.
There was something in the way he carried himself. Calm. Controlled. Too trained to ever look nervous.
The room shrank. Or maybe it was just my oxygen levels.
Our eyes met for a fraction of a second. But it was enough to make my heartbeat stumble.
"Before we begin, I'd like to apologize first," he said.
His voice was lower than usual. Not as cold. Something was different.
I looked up from my notebook. Somehow, his words felt directed at me alone—even though this was just a meeting. Why did it feel like being a student caught without homework?
"I apologize for only informing you of this meeting this morning," he continued.
"I checked with Mbak Rania earlier, and she confirmed you had no other schedule. So I asked for permission to hold this session today."
"Once again, I sincerely apologize for the late notice."
"It's fine, Mr. Saka. We understand," Tasha replied smoothly, as professional as ever.
He nodded. His eyes were sharp as always, but beneath them, there was a shadow of exhaustion.
For the first time, he looked… human. Not just the nightmare boss in my head.
"To be honest, I don't only handle Manterra. I also manage my family's company. And right now, things are… tense there. So I want to finish Manterra matters quickly, so I can focus on that."
Oh.
So he wasn't just cold, rich, and infuriating. He was also busy, resilient, and—damn it—responsible.
Why did my heart feel strangely proud of him?
"Alright. Let's begin," he said, ending his explanation.
He opened the slides. Manterra's new product campaign—launching next month—was on the table again.
He said he agreed with my strategy. But this time, he wanted proof. He wanted to see if it would really raise revenue.
The meeting turned intense. We exchanged ideas, challenged each other, argued, rebuilt plans.
Tasha. Yudha. Me. Even Saka.
It felt like a battle—but for the same goal. And honestly? It was… fun.
Usually, meetings like this lasted two hours. But this one stretched to almost three.
When we finally wrapped, lunch had nearly passed.
I stood, ready to leave. But after a single step—
The world spun.
My head grew unbearably light. The floor swayed. I grabbed the edge of the table, but my body refused to obey.
A voice called my name.
"Miss Cayra?" His tone wasn't calm this time. The panic was subtle, but there.
Then came words that made my chest tighten.
"You haven't eaten, have you?"
For a second, his eyes widened, his lips parting. His composed face cracked. And for the first time… he looked like the Saka I used to know.
Wait.
Since when could this CEO read minds? Since when did he notice me like this?
I tried to smile, though my vision blurred. My breath hitched. But I caught that look in his eyes.
Not the gaze of a boss to an employee. More than that.
Like the boy who once filled my school days with laughter.
And right before everything faded—
I thought to myself…
If only he really cared.
Not just for the project.
But for me.
Then the world went dark.
Not just the light. Not just logic.
But maybe… my last line of defense against Saka.
~~~
Light filtered through my heavy eyelids. A little too bright. A little too warm. I blinked slowly, trying to figure out—where am I?
A bed. White sheets. A faint antiseptic smell.
The company's infirmary.
My head still felt light, but I could hear muffled voices from behind the door. Muted. Contained.
Seconds later, the door creaked open. A tall figure in a black suit stepped inside, holding a small white plastic bag.
Saka.
I blinked again. Why was he still here? And… what was in that bag?
He closed the door gently and walked toward me, his usual unreadable expression in place. But there was something in his gaze—different. Not as cold. Hard to explain.
"You're awake," he said.
It should've sounded ordinary. But in his low, calm tone… why did it feel sweet?
I hurried to sit up, wanting to look strong, not like a burden. But before I could manage it, his hand reached out—swift, steady—stopping me.
He adjusted the pillow behind my back and helped me lean against it. His movements were unhurried, careful, as if he'd done this before.
"Slowly," he murmured.
That voice. That tone. If not for my still-uneven blood pressure, I'd suspect I was dreaming.
He turned away, opened the bag, and pulled out a styrofoam box. Setting it on the nightstand, he handed it to me with calm precision.
"Chicken porridge. To fill the stomach you've been neglecting all morning."
He paused, then added, "No soybeans."
Wait.
Did he just say… no soybeans?
My gaze snapped to him. Shocked. Confused. Maybe a little too moved.
He remembered? Something that small? That trivial?
Okay. Heart, calm down. Don't get carried away. He's probably just being responsible since I fainted. He just doesn't want me messing up his project. Not because he… cares.
"Miss Cayra? What is it? You don't like porridge?" His voice pulled me back.
I shook my head quickly. "No, it's not that. Thank you, Mr. Saka."
He gave a slight nod. "I remember you don't like eating anything too heavy."
I froze. My hand reached for the box, but my eyes stayed on him. Quietly. Secretly.
If he remembered this… did he also remember me saying I hated the rain because it made me feel lonelier?
"Shall I feed you?"
…Excuse me?
My head whipped toward him so fast I almost dropped the spoon.
He stood there, arms crossed, perfectly calm—but his eyes glinted with mischief.
"I mean it. Want me to?" he added, tone playful this time.
Oh, no. Oh, hell no. Saka Ardhananta, CEO, cold-hearted, all-business… offering to spoon-feed me? The world must be glitching.
I shook my head frantically, opening the porridge on my own. The plastic spoon was ready, so I busied myself with eating, anything to avoid his gaze.
But it didn't help.
He stayed right there. Watching. Arms folded. Waiting as if my first spoonful was a quarterly report.
The air grew awkward. Warm. Too intimate.
I lowered my head. Even swallowing felt like a national exam.
His gaze was too sharp. Too deep. As though he was reading every thought in my head.
Thank God the door opened.
We both turned.
Tasha and Mbak Rania entered. Mbak Rania's face was pale as she rushed over to me.
"Ca, I heard you fainted? Are you okay now?" she asked quickly.
I forced a small smile. "I'm fine, Mbak."
"Are you sure? You still look pale. Better get checked at the hospital."
I shook my head immediately.
"She won't go. She's afraid of needles," Saka said casually.
What.
My head snapped toward him. My eyes widened. Our gazes locked like two people caught hiding a secret.
Tasha and Ms. Rania both turned to him, brows arched, suspicion all over their faces.
Crap.
I laughed nervously. "Ah, yes. Mr. Saka already offered to take me to the hospital, but I refused. I'm… scared of injections."
Both of them nodded in understanding. Thank God. Crisis averted.
"Then go home and rest. Half-day only," Ms. Rania ordered firmly.
"What? No, Mbak. I'd feel bad. Really, I'm fine now."
"Either hospital or home. Choose."
Soft threat. Deadly final.
I sighed. Both options sucked, but the hospital was the greater evil.
"I'll go home."
Ms. Rania smiled in satisfaction. "Good. Did you ride your motorbike? Or how will you get home?"
"I'll just take an ojol."
"No. Tasha can drive you, or you can use the office car with Yudha."
Before I could choose, another voice cut in.
"I'll take her. We're neighbors now."
The earth. It could stop spinning right this second.
Tasha and Ms. Rania exchanged glances, then both turned to me. Their looks? A cocktail of curiosity, teasing, and interrogation waiting to happen.
"I—"
"Go with Saka. I'll feel more at ease," Ms. Rania interrupted.
"But—"
"You'll be safe with me."
His voice softened. His gaze steady. And that small smile—subtle, rare—appeared again.
I froze.
Did he just… smile?
No way.
Please. Someone explain.
What on earth happened to Saka Ardhananta today?
Or… more importantly, what's happening to my heart every time he's near?
~~~
EPILOGUE ✨
All my life, I've only ever gone silent for two reasons: when I was asleep, and when I was disappointed.
But this time, there's a third reason.
I was sitting in the same car as Saka.
It wasn't the first time, technically. Yesterday, we had shared a car too. But still… it felt awkward.
From the moment we left the office, neither of us spoke. Not because there was nothing to say—but because there was too much left unspoken. The car moved, but time itself felt frozen.
After a few minutes of silence, Saka's voice finally broke through.
"At home… is there someone waiting?" he asked.
I turned to him quickly, startled. Why would he ask that?
"Probably Papa and Elan," I replied, trying to keep my voice neutral.
He nodded slowly. "May I ask you something?"
I glanced at him briefly. He wasn't looking directly at me, but I knew he was waiting for my answer.
"About what?"
Saka paused, as if carefully weighing his words.
"Have you… reconciled with your parents?"
Thud.
My breath caught. My heart stopped for a split second.
"If you don't want to answer, that's fine," he added softly. "But I hope… things are better now."
I took a deep breath. Why bring this up now?
"How did you even know I had problems with them?"
The car stopped. Red light. This time, he turned his head fully toward me, his gaze steady.
"Last night, I met your father. At the angkringan the neighborhood. He was sitting alone. He looked… sad."
I stayed quiet. Just listening.
"At first, I only intended to greet him. But then, he started talking. He said… his daughter suddenly didn't want to talk to him anymore."
My head lowered. It stung.
I remembered. Last night, I really had stayed completely silent. No greetings. Not to Papa, not to Mama, not even to Elan.
I was too full—of anger, disappointment, sadness. Everything mixed into one.
I never thought Papa would show that sadness to someone else. He was always the one who hid everything best.
"Ayu," Saka whispered.
My heart dropped. It had been so long since anyone called me that. That special nickname. From him, and only him.
"I know you're hurting. But don't punish your parents with silence."
His voice was gentle, yet it cut straight through me.
"You never really know… how much it breaks them when you choose not to speak."
The light turned green. The car moved forward again. But my thoughts stayed behind.
"I'm not deliberately ignoring them," I said quietly. "I just… can't talk yet. It feels too heavy."
Saka glanced at me, then smiled faintly.
"You're allowed to be disappointed. But silence isn't the solution."
"Sometimes we forget… just how hard they fought to raise us. They may not be perfect, but they tried."
He paused, his voice softer now.
"I know how it feels, Ayu. I've been where you are. But now we're adults. We should learn to be wiser. To understand… not just demand to be understood."
My lips pressed tightly together. His words hit me, but in a gentle way.
"I know you're angry about the arranged marriage… and about your dream," he continued.
I turned quickly, startled.
"Your father told me. He said you felt unheard."
I nodded. It was hard to accept, but yes—that was exactly it.
"You can reject the marriage. But not through anger. Sometimes parents make decisions on their own. But they do it because they think it's best."
"I had my own reason for refusing that marriage," I said sharply.
Saka nodded calmly.
"I know. But still, you could've refused without dragging your past into it."
"I was angry because I was tired," I snapped, my voice shaking. "After working all day, I just wanted peace. And instead… they gave me a surprise like that."
My voice broke. Tears threatened to fall. I wiped them away quickly.
"Ayu… life isn't just about demanding to be understood. Sometimes, life tests us… to see how far we can understand others."
"You could tell them you need time. But don't choose silence. Silence… hurts more than anger."
I lowered my head. His words were too true. I had been drowning too deeply in my own ego.
Without realizing it, the car had stopped. We had arrived.
But I didn't move. I couldn't. I wasn't ready.
I knew—I hadn't made my parents proud. All I'd done was hurt them with my attitude.
"Ayu…" Saka's voice was low.
I turned. He was smiling. That familiar smile. The one he used to give me whenever I was breaking apart. The same smile he had given back when I was struggling with Papa and Mama years ago.
"You'll be fine. You'll learn to open up. To be wiser. This is all just part of your growth."
I took a deep breath. Then smiled back.
"Thank you… Arda."
I called him by that old name. Our secret names—Ayu and Arda—taken from our middle names. A little piece of us that only we shared.
Saka's smile widened. Warm. Genuine.
"You're welcome, Ayu."
I opened the door. But before I could step out, his voice stopped me again.
"I also want to apologize. For not being there… when you went through all of that."
I froze. My gaze dropped to the dashboard.
"I know… why you accepted that money back then. It wasn't for yourself. It was because you had to do something more important."
I turned to him, searching for clarity. And when our eyes met, I knew—he already knew everything.
And maybe… that's why he was different now.
Maybe… this wasn't about reliving the past.
But about giving ourselves a chance to understand each other in a new way.
For the first time in years, he finally knew the real reason I had left him back then.
And for the first time too… I felt that maybe this wound was meant to exist.
So that one day, we could sit side by side again.
In a car that carried not just our bodies—but also hearts that were slowly finding their way home.