How long can you pretend,
the monster isn't you?
~The Book Of Pride
***
"The weather wouldn't be merciful this time," and the thunder struck the loudest when Ravenna made those words. She sighed, as the pitter-patter of raindrops poured down, somehow indicating what would become afterwards she glimpsed above.
Taking a valiant step, Ravenna grabbed the small bag and box from the ground, strapping the former across her shoulder and the latter at her right hand as she took hurried steps down the empty streets.
It had been over twenty minutes from her journey away from work, to the traitor's daughter in the town of Amberleigh as Ravenna Vale. Her decision in cajoling a shorter route for the sake of time had been welcomed by the sudden unannounced rumble of the clouds.
"Oh poor Alaric… He must have been worried by now," Ravenna mumbled to herself, visualizing the position of her brother by the window— candles left blown off, the curtains drawn to shield strangers from taking a glimpse of the gloom within— and his usual rosary curled at his finger while he recited the poems of thy father.
As she rushed, the sky unleashed a torrential downpour, soaking her dress and slightly sweeping her body away due to the pressure of the wind.
Ravenna grumbled as the rain kept on pummeling her figure unmercifully, slightly lifting her skirt now and then, to welcome the wind causing a frost bite to her skin.
Seeking shelter, she ducked into a narrow alleyway between two buildings. It was empty and the rain drummed against the roof above, creating a melodious cacophony that echoed through the passageway.
She dropped the box by her side and pulled her arms to a hug, brushing them to provide warmth on her skin as her lips quivered. The wind returned, whacking her figure for the nth time, and fetching some sense of adrenaline.
She ducked her head, glimpsing at the scattered clouds and the flash of lightning. This would take a long while…
As she waited for the storm to pass, Ravenna began to hum a song, tapping her feet on the floor while slightly moving her head at the imaginary beat in the hope that the cold engulfing her would vanish.
"O thou, the pearl of great price, hidden in the shell of flesh, thou art sought by the merchant, who seeks to acquire thee…" The notes fled her lips flawlessly when she began to recite the poem she had been humming. Ravenna let the wave of the melody slide to her heart, pouring the rhythm to the rain, as though urging it to be calm and furious at the same time.
She didn't know why she wanted that. Maybe the rain was describing how she felt innermost.
When she was done, she inhaled, rubbing her hands together and staring at the clouds that thrashed with lightning and thunderstorms.
It seems heaven wouldn't answer her prayers this time after all… and she sighed again.
And as the rain continued for a longer time, Ravenna began to feel constricted, especially when a handful of villagers had gathered to stand at the spot where she sheltered herself, passing her uncomfortable glances while clutching their bags defensively.
She would pretend not to notice the disgust at the distance they kept away from her, but their looks made her heart clench, her sanity wavering every second the wind blew harder.
Ravenna would change course, pretending to be scrutinizing the clouds or anything at a distance to stop the thoughts that threatened to wash over her, but she couldn't, especially when someone had whispered the title she had built herself and the rumors that wouldn't stop flying.
Ravenna Vale, a disguised name as Hannah Maere, worked as a whore in a brothel, to earn a living for herself and her brother, Alaric. No one learned of the ugly prestige she built under a mask and the forgery, but the title as the Traitor's daughter— the Usurper— and a thief, couldn't be said otherwise.
She was only twelve when she invaded the castle and raided a few of the Queen's most expensive jewels, to be caught by one of the princesses and brought forth to the King.
Due to her young age, Ravenna was spared from treason, but punished by walking on the street, stripped and chained, the laughing stock of Amberleigh, to the satisfaction of the royalty and the pleasure of the villagers.
And in addition to that punishment, Ravenna had been brought to serve as the castle's scourge every morning shift without pay. She would clean, and wash the castle's filthiest area, bonding her to the kingdom. She was the rag made to wipe the wealthy and most powerful heels.
Over the years, the habit of stealing and pick-pocketing became one hobby, one addiction she couldn't bring herself to quit. And then there were rumors spreading across the village like wildfire, that the 'thief' spreads her legs for married men in exchange for the worth. Not just men, but the older ones.
But who knew that Ravenna Vale known as the thief and traitor's daughter spreading her legs for older men wasn't just a rumor, but an actual truth and the harshest reality crowning upon her head?
Who knew, that it wasn't just older men her legs gave access to, but the younger ones too? Who knew the rumored whore was a whore? Ravenna Vale as a thief, and Hannah Maere, the whore. Two-stained reputation.
With a quiet resolve, Ravenna pulled the cloak closer to her face to hide her embarrassment, picked up the box at her side, and stepped back into the torrential rain.
She couldn't bring herself to face the painful judgment and would rather let the rain wash the slit and dirt covering her. And if possible, away from her. But she knew the reality.
After she was gone, "I'd rather soak up in the storm than swallow their saliva," She whispered, walking down the street once again.
At that moment, Ravenna's thoughts drifted to her brother. The only hope for her strong will to survive.
She had chosen this lane to provide for him through the difficult times, the struggle of an orphan wallowing under the guilt of people. She was very little when her parents were swallowed up in a fire.
She remembered how her irises reflected the golden flames, dancing along their writhing body and the screams that would threaten to deafen her. That memory still haunted every fiber of her being.
At sixteen, Hannah took the burden of sacrificing her reputation to ensure her brother's well-being. From pick-pocketing to stealing, and down the lane of a whore, the brothel became her only means for survival, even if she couldn't bring herself to accept the bitter fate and the shame lurking behind it.
Shame? She wanted to scoff at that thought. She would be the last person to think anything to do with shame least affect her. No one thought of the shame when someone had raped her- no, fucked her at an early age, tool away her virginity and dignity.
Mouth clasped, hands struggling for survival, legs kicking in an attempt to push off his weight against her, but her eyes quivered at the sight of having that monster- she shut her eyes firmly, trying to fight the tears that burned those eyes and the anger that rose to her chest.
She sniffed and wiped the lone tear that slipped off an eye in haste, with a firm promise not to cross over that thought. Ever.
CROAK!
A raven flew across the sky, making terrible noises as raindrops splashed into her eyes when her head glided above. Ravenna wiped it off with the sleeve of her dress and her blurry vision caught sight.
It surfed, above her figure, looming around in a threatening manner, and confining her thought at the wonder of its strange movement. Ravenna had forgotten about the rain, when she stood fixed, watching the raven hypnotizing dance.
Its twists and turns had trapped her unknowingly, and all she did was stand and watch.
Ravenna didn't know what interested her the most. The raven or its dance? Or perhaps… something else?