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==============
It was half past eleven in the morning.
The place was a pizza shop near a Yamanote Line station, a shop that had apparently won some award.
"Ohh! This looks so delicious!"
Sakura-chan was busily taking pictures of the freshly arrived Quattro Formaggi.
Her usual, cheerful smile. Her enviably long and lustrous hair was tied back in a ponytail today with a scrunchie.
While I did take some pictures, I was also on edge. That's how heavy today's business was for both of us.
"Alright, let's eat~"
At Sakura-chan's words, we picked up slices of pizza.
Well, first let's enjoy the meal. Though I wasn't sure if I could truly enjoy it.
"Ah, delicious..."
The pizza I put in my mouth, expecting it to be good, was even more delicious than I'd imagined, and that single word escaped my lips. Across from me, Sakura-chan was also pressing her cheek, saying, "Mmm, yummy~"
"So, what's today's talk about?"
Sakura-chan quickly ate a slice of pizza and then looked me in the eye as she asked.
I had hoped to wait until after we finished eating, but since she asked, I had no choice but to answer.
Honestly, it was incredibly difficult to say. She might say she wished she hadn't known. Still, I wanted her to know, and probably needed to tell her.
I steeled myself and looked Sakura-chan directly in the eye.
"Well, actually... It's really hard to say, but..."
"What, what? Did you find someone you're interested in?"
"I'm... going out with Senpai..."
Sakura-chan froze with such exaggeration that I could almost hear a clink. Melted cheese dripped from the pizza in her hand.
"Somehow, it suddenly tastes like nothing..."
Sakura-chan said that and took another bite of the pizza in her hand. Her eyes were completely dead, and I wondered if she was imitating Senpai.
I pondered what I should do during the silence that followed. Perhaps saying nothing was the correct answer in such a case.
"Haaah~... So that's how it is, huh..."
Sakura-chan said that, leaning back in her chair and letting the tension drain from her shoulders. Hearing her dejected voice, my heart ached.
But even so, I couldn't give up Senpai. This pain was a pain only permitted to me.
"Sorry I'm telling you so late. I just couldn't bring myself to say it right away."
"...Well, I get it. I probably couldn't say it either."
The atmosphere suddenly turned solemn, and Sakura-chan put the straw of her iced tea in her mouth. I followed suit and drank my oolong tea, then Sakura-chan narrowed her eyes and said,
"But, I'm glad I heard it directly from Iroha-chan."
Her eyes were lonely, yet somehow warm.
And I didn't understand how she could make such a kind expression.
"Hey, it might be strange coming from me, but... We can still be friends, right?"
It was like a confirmation, or a plea.
It was an unexpected question, but I had no hesitation.
"Of course. Though I won't be responsible if you're damaged by our lovey-dovey stories."
"Ugh, you're such a meanie!"
When I met Sakura-chan's eyes as she immediately retorted, I found it somewhat funny and burst out laughing.
It was good, really.
It was truly good that we wouldn't lose this time laughing together, and that this strange relationship wouldn't end.
"Ah, I want a boyfriend too! I want to brag about him!"
"...Can you switch gears that fast?"
"No, probably not. I'll definitely dwell on it for a while."
Her words were so honest that I didn't know what to say next. To say something like that to a former rival, it truly felt like Sakura-chan.
"Why the gloomy face? This is the most fun time, right? You should worry about Senpai more than me."
"...But."
"You don't need to worry about me. I think I'll feel refreshed after going home and having a good cry."
No, that just makes me more worried... I tried to convey that with my expression, but unexpectedly, Sakura-chan had a cheerful smile on her face.
"Saying this might sound like I'm trying to convince myself, but... I can accept it if it's Iroha-chan."
Those words truly sounded like she was trying to convince herself, and her voice was probably directed at Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan averted her gaze from me and continued, vaguely looking at the back of the store.
"Because Iroha-chan is serious, right? Chasing after him all the way to college, that's frankly off-putting."
"Off-putting... Huh? You were put off?"
"Quite seriously."
I kept looking at Sakura-chan's face, thinking it was her usual joke, but her expression didn't waver.
I was put off... Oh, I see, hmm...
"But you know, I thought that was amazing about you. When I thought if I could do that much, I probably couldn't."
A touch of sadness returned to her voice.
So I was left speechless again.
"So I can honestly say it. Congratulations."
"Sakura-chan..."
Perhaps I had misunderstood Sakura-chan.
I probably couldn't have known because I didn't try to reach out to her. I hadn't known she was such a kind and warm girl.
"So, just to confirm..."
Sakura-chan gave a crumpled smile and suddenly spoke with a teasing tone.
"Have you, you know, done it yet?"
"...Huh?"
No, "done it"...
The conversation suddenly turned vulgar, and I involuntarily made a look of exasperation. I wanted my emotional moment back.
"Not yet, but..."
"Hmm, I see, I see. I can also see a route where I win him over with my charms~"
Perhaps my misunderstanding about Sakura-chan wasn't a misunderstanding after all.
This girl really has a good personality.
"You just said congratulations a moment ago, didn't you?"
"Ahaha, just kidding. ...About seventy percent."
"That's more than half serious!"
When I retorted, Sakura-chan laughed cheerfully again.
Watching her, I couldn't help but smile too, thinking, Oh, you.
In my heart, I whispered, "Thank you."
â----------
It was after lectures, in a deserted lecture hall.
"So, have you, you know, done it yet?"
"You guys, seriously..."
Nikaido crudely asked with genuine curiosity, and Tsunishi watched the proceedings with a smirk.
The reason was that they had recently questioned me about Ichishiki and me spending more time together. It wasn't something to hide, and Ichishiki seemed to be telling others around her, so I told them we were dating... but instead of digging for details, this was their reaction.
"We just started dating, we wouldn't do something like that right away."
"What, not yet? Besides, time doesn't really matter, does it?"
Nikaido made a genuinely bored face at my answer.
"Time doesn't matter"... That's true, but things have an order, an emotional aspect, and a proper procedure. Probably.
"Exactly. If you drag it out, you'll miss your chance."
Tsunishi, who had been listening silently until now, said that as if he knew everything. I couldn't argue, as I could realistically imagine such a future.
As Nikaido said, regarding timing, there might be generalities, but the optimal time is different for everyone. Judging from Ichishiki's past behavior, I don't think she'd reject such an act. The way she readily lets me into her house even suggests she's quite proactive.
However, since it would be a first for us, it wouldn't be good to seem too eager.
...And then, a question arose. It would be a first for me, but what about Ichishiki?
Given Ichishiki's confident demeanor with men, it wouldn't be strange if she'd had boyfriends in the past. As far as I know, she hadn't had such a person in high school, but there's a possibility she had various experiences in middle school.
"Hey, Hikigaya?"
"Don't suddenly go silent."
Thinking that, a dark cloud swirled in my chest, and I suddenly felt sick.
I knew what this emotion was. But knowing it didn't help, and the more I realized my immaturity, the more my discomfort grew.
"...No, it's nothing."
I replied, grabbed my bag, and stood up.
Saying only "See ya" to Tsunishi and the others who were about to say something, I left the lecture hall.
============
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