Work has been intense lately. As a company, we've all been dealing with heavy workloads and long hours. Honestly, I'm very tired—but in a strange way, it feels good. This personality… the one that thrives in chaos, loves working, collecting certifications, staying busy—that's me.
Of course, not everything is smooth. Sometimes there are conflicts and arguments with coworkers. We try to keep it civil, but I won't lie—there have been moments when I've cursed silently.
There was this duo at the office, both women, always trying to impress management. I found out at one point that they had suggested transferring me to another department. That stayed with me. But that wasn't the only reason I eventually resigned. Another reason was a married man from upper management. I could feel his eyes on me, his subtle little moves—he was starting to make me uncomfortable. He tried flirting, acting like money could impress me. A pathetic man. Even though I politely said no, he kept finding silly excuses to talk to me every day.
I really don't understand why married people cheat—or try these ridiculous flirting games. I'm tired, Chris. Tired of this phase of life.
And when I'm this exhausted, I miss you so much. I catch myself thinking, "If only we lived together… If I could come home and fall into your arms." I truly believe all this fatigue, all this irritation would melt away.
Chris still sends me messages from time to time. I can tell his days are full over there. He plays basketball two or three nights a week—he even tells me about it via text. I try not to message too often. I don't want to disturb him.
But now I wonder… maybe I gave you too much space. Maybe you thought I was pulling away.
What if I had been the one to propose to you?
Would you have said yes?
Were you waiting for a serious step from me?
Should I have introduced you to my family—forced something?
I still don't understand why you treated me with fear, baby.
Why were you so afraid of loving me out loud?