It felt as though every living thing in the Lanxuan Pavilion had been holding its breath, at the wait of Concubine Qinglan's answer.
"You say this girl will be of use to me, Shuyin? How so?"
The lady's tone was sharp, unimpressed.
"My Lady, she has claimed—"
"I do not wish to hear from you." Qinglan's gaze swept to me like the sharp eyes of a hawk. "No. This girl will tell me herself."
Her piercing stare made my skin crawl, but I straightened my posture. Nervous as I was, I would not allow her to see me cower.
"My Lady," I began carefully, "I am Meilina, from the southern lands. I can assure you that I will be of service, if you would allow me."
I drew a breath and continued. "I speak the tongue of that country, the very one through which merchants travel countless times each month. Strengthening relations with them would surely benefit His Majesty.
"I could serve as a bridge, to make relations stronger, trade more prosperous, and perhaps even, if I prove myself useful, the Emperor might reward you, My Lady."
When my words ended, silence fractured into hushed whispers. Murmurs rippled along the walls, and I could feel a dozen pairs of eyes devouring me.
Qinglan's lips curved into something cold. "I doubt half of what you've promised would ever become reality."
The words pierced like a blade. My stomach clenched.
"However," she continued, her voice languid, "We are short on maids. Though you appear both unremarkable and, well, I cannot deny, a tragedy to look at, unfortunately, I shall have to keep you."
Relief flooded me so sharply that I nearly sagged.
Kept. That was all that mattered.
It did not matter to me if what she said was true, whether I would be of value or not.
Nor did it matter how harshly the maids harassed me, no matter how cruel the Lady's tongue, so long as I was kept, I would be fed.
---
The days passed quickly after that. I would rise at dawn, labor through mornings and afternoons beside the most irritating of maids, and endure etiquette classes until dusk.
Only then would I be dismissed to my chamber, where solitude awaited.
And yet, solitude was boring. Each day blurred into the next: rising, bowing deeply before the Consort only to be insulted, performing meaningless tasks and classes, then retreating back into my silent chamber where I was to have meaningless dreams.
Some days later, I learned I was permitted to visit the other low-ranking maids. Which meant I could see Lanling again, though I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse.
"MEILINA! YOU'RE BACK!"
Her shrill voice rang across the courtyard like a bell.
I could recognize that scream from a village away, I thought.
"Keep your voice down," I hissed, eyes darting to the maids who were already staring at me.
The last thing I needed was more attention and rumors about me.
"Sorry! You're still just as sour as before, I see."
I ignored her jab, my eyes drifting instead to her clothes. Light blue. The color of open skies, bright, cheerful, like her.
In that moment, I realized how fitting our garments were. Hers radiated joy, bright and happy colors.
Mine was the deep stillness of the cloudless midnight.
"Have the older maids harmed you?" I asked, though I kept my voice detached, unwilling to show too much concern.
"No, nothing at all! But… are you worried for me?" Her eyes sparkled with childish delight. "I'm so grateful to have someone!"
I turned away, unwilling to answer. I had known her barely a week. Attachment was dangerous and unnecessary.
Still, we spoke of our days in the palace. Her eyes grew wide as I described Lady Qinglan.
She complained of her own dull posting with a palace official she deemed neither handsome nor interesting.
"You're so lucky," she groaned. "To meet the Emperor's favorite! And you never told me you spoke Sanskrit either!"
Her face flushed red with irritation, an amusing display of her childishness and immaturity.
When I returned to the Lanxuan Pavilion, the skies were fading from brilliant gold into deep indigo.
Hydrangeas and blue daisies lined the paths, their fragrance stirring memories of the crimson red flowers etched across Lady Lianyu's mansion.
The green shrubs reminded me of the gardens I once saw everyday back in Bharat.
Nostalgia pressed against my chest.
"If you had arrived even a moment later," Lady Qinglan sneered during class, "I would have sent you back to whatever foreign land you crawled from."
Her words no longer stung. I had grown used to her venom.
That night, we practiced walking soundlessly and memorizing countless greetings. Yet none of it clung to me.
My thoughts were elsewhere.
When the lesson ended, I slipped away, weary of another dull tomorrow.
Wrapped in my nightgown beneath a thin blanket, I sought sleep, but it did not come. Each time I closed my eyes, Bharat came alive again.
The clatter of swords with my brothers. Sarees flowing against my shoulders. Laughter echoing through wide courtyards. The ache of longing was unbearable.
By morning, my restless nights left me sluggish, inviting scoldings from the Miss.
Finally, I could not endure it any longer. I slipped on my shoes, crept to the door, and opened it quietly. A guard slumped outside, fast asleep.
Perhaps I would be a better candidate for his post, I thought while trying to hold in my laughter.
Stepping past him, I slipped into the night.
Not all the guards would be sleeping so carelessly.
If I were caught… would I be spared? Or punished beyond return?
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Chapter Fifteen: "The bushes had rattled, the shining sword looked at me deeply for me to care as I walked over to it. I realized it was not a rat that had taken cover under the shrubs."