"Are you satisfied?" "Are you happy?" "How long will you keep losing?" Razin began to hear a voice inside him... The voice urged him toward the false competition he thought he had freed himself from. Razin placed his hands on his head because of the pain in it.
"Tark, I'm sorry, I have to go. Tell me when Verina wakes up," Razin said as he walked away. "O-okay, no problem..." Tark was surprised by Razin's unexpected behavior. He felt something was wrong with Razin, but he wanted to check on Verina first, so he went with the teacher to see her condition.
"Loser, loser, loser," Razin's negative thoughts controlled him. Razin returned to his room while the voices echoed in his mind. "She beat you, you lost." The thoughts kept appearing in Razin's mind as he sat on his bed.
He put his hands on his head. "W-what is happening here? My head hurts so much!" The inner voices started increasing more and more... their echoes raged wildly inside Razin's mind. "W-w-what is this?" Razin shouted loudly because of the inner voices he was hearing.
"If you lost easily against Verina, then at least don't lose to Tark." Razin's eyes opened wide when he heard these words echo. "What is happening here?" Razin shouted in frustration, punching his own face. "Shut up! What are you talking about?" Razin continued hitting himself on the face, tears starting to run down his cheeks. "This is... not... a competition!!!" Razin said angrily.
Ten minutes passed, and Razin stopped hearing the hallucinations in his mind. His face was swollen and bruised from the punches. "Is this the inner jealousy that Verina talks about controlling me?" Razin said as he touched his face. "My head hurts. I still don't understand... Was what I heard my inner thoughts?"
"Is my inner self telling me that I lost?... and that I have to win against Tark?..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But if these are my inner thoughts, then why do I feel unconvinced by them?" Razin felt pain from the wounds on his face. "Aren't my inner thoughts and jealousy supposed to be what I really feel now? Why do I feel that I disagree with this? And that I don't want to race Tark as my thoughts say?" Razin put a displeased expression on his face. "Or is this what I am trying to convince myself of now? Am I really not thinking this way?" Razin looked at his bruised face in the mirror. "Am I contradicting my true self by saying this, and saying what I don't feel?" Razin sat on the chair. "No, that's not true... I really don't feel that what my inner self said is true. If I did, it wouldn't be so easy to pretend that I'm not convinced by it. And if I were just pretending now, I don't think pretending is a problem because it's very easy. I feel I can live my life like this if it's just pretending." Razin continued. "So yes... it's unrealistic that I'm pretending not to agree with what I heard from myself."
"The truth is that I really am not convinced by what I heard from myself," Razin continued. "I don't want any race with Tark, and I don't feel like I lost the race against Verina." He smiled a little with a confident smile. "Yes... this is the truth. I'm not lying to myself." Razin sighed after all this thinking. "I feel my head really started hurting... What is the truth, I wonder?"
A full hour passed. The girl with the yellow hair named Verina slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was a black-haired boy standing before her anxiously. "..? Hmm," Verina said when she woke up before raising her back to lean against the wall. "Tark?" Tark smiled at her after being a bit worried. "Yes, I'm here." Verina looked around the room. "What happened?.. I feel my memory is a bit fuzzy..." Verina said, feeling a slight heaviness in her head as she looked at her lying body. "I tried to activate your energy core and you succeeded!" Tark said with a joyful expression. "Hmm.. really?! Oh, I remember!" Suddenly Verina's expression turned into one of excited happiness. "I achieved my goal then, that's amazing!!"
"Were you watching me, Tark?" Verina asked. Tark replied, "Yes... you were really amazing... And when you succeeded, a strong wind wave came out of you that made all the students fall to the ground." Verina smiled and got up from the bed, clenching her fists with enthusiasm. "Really!... That's wonderful." Tark replied. "Yes... it was amazing... But you lost consciousness, so I was worried about you." Verina smiled as she put on her shoes. "Thank you, Tark. I like to see you positive and happy... Well done!" Tark mixed his expression with a bit of relief and relaxation. "Ah... yes, of course."
Verina was happy before her expression slightly changed as she looked around the room and realized something. "Where is Razin?.. The last thing I remember is that he came to hug me like a fool, as always." Tark became a bit tense. "I really don't know... When you fainted and the teacher came to take you, his expression suddenly changed and he seemed disturbed... He went away and told me to inform him when you wake up. It seemed very suspicious to me... That's not typical behavior for Razin usually... Do you agree with me?" Verina's expression turned upset. "Razin didn't stay to check on me or share my joy?" Verina's expression looked very upset but she tried not to show it. "I'm sure something happened to him... Razin is the person who values you most at school!"
"Yes, maybe... No problem," Verina said with a clearly upset expression. "Did his behavior bother you?" Tark said standing beside Verina. "Maybe... yes... To be honest... I wanted to wake up and see Razin also standing in front of me waiting for us to be happy together," Verina said with a very upset face. "Listen... you know Razin is the person who values you most in this school, right? You're definitely his favorite friend, so... I'm sure something forced him to leave... It's impossible that the boy who hugs you in front of everyone suddenly hates you... right?" Tark said trying to comfort Verina. "Yes, that's right... he is," Verina said trying to wipe the upset expression from her face.
"What do you think if we go check on him?" Tark suggested as they left the medical room. "Okay," Verina replied calmly... without showing upset but also without enthusiasm. "And then we will celebrate your great achievement together, of course," Verina smiled at his words. "You're a wonderful person, Tark... Your mental steadiness is amazing."
Why did you leave me and go, Razin... Verina thought about this as they walked side by side with Tark... I really don't know... I feel sad about this... I want to know the real reason. If I think about it, what Tark said is right... Razin wouldn't do anything to upset me like this without a reason... So... I will be patient.
Tark and Verina cut through the courtyards and the benches on both sides... They reached the dormitory building. "Razin's room is number 74... He told me that before," Verina said after Tark asked about Razin's room number.
They continued walking and went up to the fourth floor where room 74 was. Tark was looking at the drawings on the walls since they reached the fourth floor. "Do you care about these things, Tark?" Verina asked. Tark was happy with her question and showed a joyful expression. "Yes... I like this kind of art, what about you?" Verina replied directly while they approached Razin's room. "I'm not crazy about it, but I think it's beautiful too."
They reached Razin's door. They knocked after standing in front of it for a few seconds. "Come in," Verina heard Razin's voice from inside. She felt a bit relieved and opened the door. Razin was sitting on his bed. When he saw Verina and Tark standing at the door, he quickly got up and ran toward them. "Verina!" Razin said with a happy expression upon seeing her. Verina was shocked. She quickly entered with Tark and told him to close the door. "What are these wounds on your face?!" Verina said with worry and displeasure. Razin replied nervously, "O-okay, I'll tell you everything, okay? First, I want to say I'm really sorry I left. Don't be mad at me. It was really out of my control."
Verina looked at Razin worriedly. "What happened? Speak, Razin." Razin nodded up and down in acceptance. "First... I'm really happy for you... You're amazing... I was very scared when you fell to the ground," Razin said looking at Verina with regretful eyes. "Then why didn't you stay? For me?" Verina said upset. "I'm really sorry... right after I finished, I ran to talk to you but you suddenly fell."
Razin continued, "After you fell, I started hearing voices. My inner self was blaming me inside because I lost to you and you activated your energy core before me," Razin said with an upset expression and continued before Verina could respond, "But really... and I'm not lying to you now... The voices lasted for ten minutes in my mind. I kept hearing them, and hearing them, but something was really wrong... I don't feel that way! And I'm not lying to you now, please believe me. Really, when the voices inside me calmed down, I never felt that way... I was convinced by your words before. The voices were annoying to me and did not represent what I feel... To the point that I went crazy and started hitting myself." Razin spoke with great nervousness.
"Razin... calm down," Verina said looking at him with a moderate face. "O-okay," Razin said upset, looking at the ground. "You're saying you heard voices inside you... like you heard yourself urging you to compete and saying you lost?" Verina asked with a moderate expression. "Yes, but really... these are not my beliefs... Something wrong happened!!" Verina interrupted him. "Calm down, okay?"
Verina continued, "I'm not angry or upset with you... I believe you." She smiled a little. "Really?!!" Razin was very happy because he thought Verina would never believe him. "Tark, can you put the chair in front of the mirror?" she said, pointing to a chair near the wall in the room. "Yes, of course," Tark said and went to put the chair in front of the mirror as Verina asked.
"Razin... sit on the chair," Verina said as if it was an order. "O-okay..." Razin went and sat on the chair, seeing his reflection full of wounds in the mirror. "Before we continue our talk, I'll bandage your wounds first, okay? Because these wounds are terrible." Razin and Tark were surprised by her words. It was a bit strange, but Razin didn't doubt Verina. "Okay... no problem. Thank you really... You're really amazing," Razin said, raising his head and smiling at her. "Yes, maybe... Now look towards the mirror," Verina said smiling as well.
Verina started bandaging Razin's wounds one by one. There were three large wounds on his face. While bandaging the first wound, Tark asked, "Why don't we ask someone who uses healing technique to heal his wounds?" Tark asked in surprise. But Verina replied directly, "I'm doing this as proof to Razin that I'm not upset with him, okay?" Razin and Tark were surprised by the matter and it was strange for them. "Thank you, Verina, you're a kind person!.. But I think I'm the one who should prove to you that I didn't mean what happened," Razin said feeling worried. "I already believed you... I know you wouldn't do it intentionally... But I want you to explain it more to me later... agreed?" Verina said smiling. "Yes, no problem," Razin replied relieved from a big concern.
Tark was thinking... Verina is really wonderful... She was able to forgive quickly and treated Razin kindly... Did she really accept it or is she pretending? But I don't think she's pretending... She seems very natural... But unlike Verina... I will not forgive my father for his evil deed... I will take my sister with me when I return... And I will free her from my father before he forces her to do something bad... I am determined to do that... I will do my best to achieve this!
Minutes passed and Verina finally finished putting the last bandage. "I'm done!" Verina said proudly as if she accomplished something. "That was painful, Verina!!" Razin said. Verina laughed at him. "Consider this a small revenge for what you did!" she said jokingly as if victorious. "So we are even now," Razin said. "Yes, we are even but not finished!" Verina said. "What?" Razin was shocked by her sudden words. "Tark, do you want revenge on Razin too? If you want, I allow you," Verina said trying to tease Razin jokingly.
"You're not the one who decides!" Razin replied angrily. "No," "No," "No... and you can't object, you fool," Verina said as if victorious. "Hmm," Razin made an angry groan. "You two are really in sync!" Tark said in astonishment. "You too... you must sync with us..." Verina said and Razin supported her. "Yes, that's right!" "I'm sorry... but I really try to enjoy and I can't," Tark said with a sad and very upset face. Razin and Verina felt it and understood his meaning... They were especially affected, especially Verina.
Verina came closer to Tark and left Razin on the chair. She stood directly in front of him. "I understand what you're going through, Tark... But," Verina hesitated, "Do you want to spend all your school years like this?" Verina's question was very sensitive and might anger Tark or something like that, but Tark understood the meaning. "I can't, and my little sister is with that man!" Verina was really sad for him... but she tried to guide him to what she saw as the right path. "Listen to me... trust me... Your father won't force your sister to do anything bad as long as you don't finish your studies, okay? From my analysis... Your father doesn't do anything... except when your school years end. This is exactly what your father did with you. Your brother's school years ended but he didn't come back, so he exploited you," Verina said with a serious expression. "Yes... that's right... I realize that but—" Verina interrupted him, "Please... enjoy your time here... Don't restrict yourself with this matter by overthinking your father... He doesn't deserve your thoughts... And don't worry... Your sister will be safe... So what do you think about trying to enjoy more... and show us your true self more? Because pressure hides a lot of you... and really wrongs you..."
Verina continued, "And I don't want to see my friend like this... I want to see you happy... I want to see you free... okay?" Verina said, looking at Tark with encouraging eyes. "And Razin agrees with me... I can understand that from him," Verina added. "Y-yes... what you say makes sense," Tark replied hesitantly but relaxed. "Good... in the end... you can't go to your home now anyway, right? So overthinking now won't help you at all... Promise me you'll try to enjoy school, okay?" Verina said smiling at him and encouraging him. "Okay! I promise," Tark said firmly.
"I was thinking about something..." Razin said. Both looked at him. "What do you two think about going to eat together at the school restaurant?" "No problem with me... Good idea," Verina said. "Me too," Tark said. Razin smiled and was happy because they agreed. "It will be a good idea to celebrate Verina's achievement and to have Tark enjoy with us!" The three got excited and left the room.
"We will meet in three hours, okay?" Razin said and the two agreed.
Verina and Tark returned to their rooms, and Razin stayed in his room, still thinking about what happened to him... It was strange to him.
After three hours, the sun was setting behind the clouds filling the sky. The wind was calm and cold, and winter was approaching more and more, day by day. In this beautiful weather, the three went out and gathered together in the small garden in the middle of the school.
"Hello!" The three greeted each other... Joy and positive energy filled their conversation despite everything that happened.
They sat a little under the trees whose leaves were gently falling... on two wooden benches facing each other. Razin sat on one bench, and Verina and Tark on the bench opposite. The gentle wind softly moved their hair... amid the calm of this beautiful atmosphere...
The silence was cut by Verina's joke. "So, will our food be on your account, Razin?" She laughed jokingly... and Tark laughed with her. "Yes... It will be on my account," Razin replied seriously. "Hey? What? I was joking, you fool!!" And Tark agreed with her. "I'm not a fool!.. And also... I know you were joking... I was planning to pay on my own account anyway... I see this gathering as a small celebration for both of you!" "Thank you, Razin... I agree if you insist... I won't refuse anything free, of course," Tark said laughing lightly.
Verina had a different look on the matter. She had no problem with it... But this contradicted what her father taught her... He always taught her to be generous and pay in such occasions for everyone... But now Razin was the one who wanted to do that. "Is this what her father taught her, I wonder?" Verina thought to herself. Verina decided to accept it because Razin, her close friend, wanted to celebrate with her on the occasion of activating her energy core... So she overlooked it this time. "Okay, I will allow you to pay... this time only!" Verina said with serious joking. "Good... let's go," Razin replied.
The three of them rushed through the large school courtyards... to the building where the restaurant was. They entered
The three of them hurried across the large school courtyards to the building with the cafeteria. They entered and looked for an empty table facing the right wall with three chairs around it. They decided to take it. The three of them sat there for a while to rest, then Razin broke the silence despite the noise of the people in the cafeteria.
"So, what do you want to eat?" Razin asked.
"I want dish number 2, please," Verina replied with a smile.
"I want number 4," Tark said.
Razin got up from the table and went to the counter to order the food.
"Excuse me, sir," Razin said with slight nervousness but politely.
"Yes, go ahead," the worker replied.
"I want two of dish number 2 and one of dish number 4," Razin ordered confidently.
"Sure, please wait a moment," the worker responded.
Razin waited patiently until the dishes arrived.
"Under the name Razin, right?" the worker asked.
"Ah, yes," Razin replied.
Razin took the dishes and returned to their table, distributing the plates among them.
"Your way of speaking has really improved! Well done," Verina complimented Razin.
"I think your friendship has been helpful," Razin responded.
"Yes, of course," Verina said confidently.
"I didn't know my taste and yours were so similar; you chose the same dish as me," Verina said while taking the first bite.
"Actually, I learned about this dish because of you," Razin said a little nervously.
"What?" Verina replied in surprise.
"On my first day here, I didn't know what to order. But I saw the girl I bumped into that day like an idiot — you had ordered dish number 2, so I copied you because I didn't know what to order... That girl was you, Verina," Razin said as he started eating.
"And when I tried the dish, it was delicious... I really liked your taste," Razin added.
"Oh... yes, I remember bumping into you and starting to apologize way too much like an idiot," Verina joked.
"What about you, Tark? Why do you like number 4?" Razin asked with curiosity.
"My mom used to cook it," Tark replied.
The mood turned somber after Tark mentioned his mother.
"I'm sorry for you... it must be a delicious dish," Razin said.
"Yes... it's okay... forget it," Tark replied with a light smile.
They started eating and discussing many topics. After an hour, they all left the cafeteria happy.
"It was really a wonderful evening," Razin said.
"Yes, I agree," the two replied.
Everyone enjoyed themselves and had a good time. They talked about everything on their minds. This conversation strengthened the relationship between Tark and the duo.
They all returned to their homes.
Razin reached his room and began his training. He wanted to surpass the third stage today.
As Razin started and focused, something interrupted his concentration:
"Do you really think training is useful after you failed against her... loser... you have already lost..."