The two competitors stood facing each other, preparing for the next match. Colin Hask, wearing a short white jacket with brown hair, against Eiron Televar, dressed in a black coat and all black clothing, with black hair.
"We have to cheer for Colin, don't you think?" Verina said excitedly.
"Yes, I agree… I don't know him well, but no problem for me," Tark replied, clenching his fists with enthusiasm.
"Colin won't win," Razin said as he watched the competitors. "No second-year student will defeat a third-year. Experience is a big difference. Also, maybe the opponent has a special technique, like Valor Valistra," Razin said seriously, looking toward Verina while crossing his arms over his chest.
"Ah… yes, maybe," Verina said with slight worry.
Razin's serious expression softened into an innocent one. "What do you say we leave after Colin's fight? It's boring if the results are certain," Razin said with a smile.
"Ok… no problem if you think so," Verina replied with a strange feeling. Razin was bored because he was sure of the results. She didn't see fights that way — it was fun and also helped learning.
The announcer began introducing the competitors: "On the right, you have Eiron Televar with a first beat of 11, and on the left, Colin Hask with a first beat of 12."
"So Colin's first beat is 12," Verina said.
"I think that's an acceptable number," Tark said looking at her.
Razin stayed silent and didn't comment.
"Let the fight begin," said the announcer.
The fight started with a direct attack from Eiron, rushing toward Colin. Suddenly, a fiery ball appeared around Eiron's hand. "Enhance!" Eiron also strengthened it.
He dashed quickly toward Colin, but just before impact, Colin dodged at the last moment. The attack burned part of his clothes but didn't hurt him.
Colin was a bit scared by the strong start, so he decided to respond. Colin attacked without using any technique, launching a flurry of punches at Eiron. Eiron blocked some and took others, but it wasn't enough to bring him down.
"Release!" Suddenly, Colin used an air technique that pushed Eiron back. Eiron countered with a rock attack. Colin crossed his hands in front of him to block the strike. The rock hit his hands. Colin started to bleed, but the pain wasn't severe.
Colin prepared for an attack..locking his fists. "Enhance!" Eiron prepared to block the blow.
When Eiron blocked Colin's punch, he was surprised by its weakness. But before he could think more, Colin kicked Eiron with a very strong kick. Actually, Colin had enhanced his foot, not his hand, fooling everyone.
"Wow, that's awesome!" Verina said excitedly, and Tark agreed.
"I'm tired of this," Eiron said as he stood up, treating himself.
Colin tried to attack again nonstop, but Eiron blocked him. Suddenly, Eiron punched Colin with a powerful enhanced blow that knocked him to the ground. Colin quickly got up, but Eiron was faster.
Eiron had already prepared a fireball technique and launched it at Colin's face from point-blank range. It burned Colin's face badly. He was in great pain, holding his face, but Eiron didn't wait.
Eiron kicked Colin's legs, knocking him down. Colin tried to use a healing technique on his face, but when he did and looked ahead while lying down, there was a rock floating above his head and nearby stood Eiron.
"Give up, our fight is over."
Colin didn't surrender and tried to resist, kicking Eiron's legs. He hit him a little, but Eiron quickly regained balance.
Eiron kicked Colin again, causing more pain.
"Give up!" Eiron threatened again.
"No!" Colin said through the pain.
"I have no choice then," Eiron said angrily.
He directed the floating rock toward Colin's stomach and launched it. It would have killed him if it hit his head.
There was a heavy collision. Eiron didn't hold back the strike.
"Aaagh!" Colin screamed loudly from the pain. It was a very violent blow.
"Stop!" the announcer said quickly.
One of the teachers rushed to Colin to treat his severe injury.
The scene was terrifying.
Tark closed his eyes from fear. "That was an attempt to kill!" Tark shouted, fearful and hesitant.
Verina stared at the scene in shock. Razin was also stunned but said, "I don't think so… Colin was the one who refused to surrender twice. It's his fault, but this is terrible!" Razin's eyes were full of fear.
Razin quickly ran toward the arena to check on Colin.
Colin's stomach was full of blood… blood covered his entire body and the arena. The wound was so deep some of Tark's insides were visible. His body was drenched in blood. The scene scared Tark and Verina so much that they didn't approach.
Razin was very scared too. "This is… terrifying." Razin felt angry and approached Eiron, grabbing him by the neck. "You didn't have to use that much force!" Razin shouted at Eiron.
"But he didn't surrender!" Eiron said, his face angry but a little regretful. Razin yelled back angrily, "You shouldn't have done that to force him to surrender!"
"But you don't understand my position!" Eiron shouted. "I told him to give up twice, but he refused! I didn't know what else to do, so I just attacked," Eiron said while looking at Razin, who was gripping his collar.
"Stop!" the teacher shouted at them. "Colin is fine. No problem, we have excellent healers here."
One of the teachers had already healed most of Colin's wounds. His skin regenerated. Everything returned to normal. The only remaining mark was the blood spread across the arena.
Colin and Verina ran to the arena too. Verina went to check on Colin, tears in her eyes.
"How worrying… Thank God there are healers here," Verina said in a frightened, almost broken voice.
Meanwhile, Tark grabbed Razin's wrist and pulled him. "Razin! Calm down!" Tark said loudly.
Razin looked at Tark, showing anger but kept his mouth shut and left Eiron alone.
"What? Are you really Razin?" Eiron asked in admiration.
"Yes… if you're going to talk about my first beat, I don't care. I still haven't activated my core," Razin said coldly and angrily as he walked toward the unconscious Verina and Colin.
"You're very famous in the school. All the students know the name Razin," Eiron said, but Razin ignored him.
"Hmm… never mind. He's going through hard times right now, so he's not in the best mood," Tark said nervously to Eiron.
"No problem," Eiron replied and walked away from the arena.
About an hour later, Colin woke up in the infirmary and found Razin, Verina, and Tark standing by, waiting anxiously for him to wake.
"You're okay, that's reassuring," Razin said happily.
"Hmm? What happened?" Colin said in a half-asleep voice.
"You fought in a match and lost badly," Razin said expressionlessly.
Suddenly, Verina punched Razin on the face. "Idiot! Don't talk like that!"
Razin felt the hit. "Hmm… but we know each other, so no problem if I talk to him like this," Razin said with a tone fearful of Verina.
"I won't allow that," Verina said angrily.
They talked and discussed the match and fights, avoiding mentioning Colin's serious injury. After a while, night approached. Each returned to their rooms and parted ways.
"Goodbye," "Goodbye!" they all said to each other.
The air was cold that night, with clouds covering the sky. Some moonlight seeped through the clouds, sneaking into Razin's room through the window, reflecting its light on a painting hanging on the wall — a painting of nature.
Razin sat on his bed, thinking about everything that had happened.
"Is continuing really a solution to the problem? The teacher gave no guarantees… but I don't think I'll oppose it. I'll try my best to activate my core despite what's happening," Razin said in a gloomy tone as he thought.
"I don't know if I want to try training today or not. I'm afraid I'll fail," Razin said calmly.
"I miss my family," Razin said while looking at the painting on the wall. "I miss my father… my mother, my pets," in a sad tone. "But also… I'm very happy with my friends… Verina… Tark, they're amazing."
"Alright… I'll try to train." Razin changed his posture to a more serious and focused one, gathering his breath and thoughts to start.
Something interrupted him.
"Don't try… don't try. Techniques won't help you. Being good at something won't help. You'll lose, you'll lose, you'll lose," voices started echoing loudly in Razin's mind.
He began to feel a headache before even starting training.
"What? The voices are back?" Razin said painfully.
"You'll lose, you'll lose, you'll lose," the voices echoed strongly in Razin's mind to the point of annoyance. But Razin tried to resist and analyze their words.
"I really don't know what's happening… but why will I lose? Does it mean I'll lose to Tark? But how would the thing controlling my thoughts know that I'll lose?? This is really annoying!" Razin was tense and distressed. There was so much on his mind.
Razin inhaled deeply… breath in and out.
"Let's analyze the situation. Maybe the world controls me… I don't know why or how or anything… but the teacher said the world we live in is strange, so it's not impossible… maybe everything happening to me are external forces from the world messing with my thoughts and changing their course… making me think things I don't agree with, like I'll lose the competition and such," Razin spoke while feeling pain from the voices inside him, their echo increasing.
"Or the second option is that someone controls me," Razin said, trying to regain focus. "But that's impossible… The teacher said techniques are limited to dealing with physical bodies — meaning summoning something, enhancing something, healing something, releasing something…"
Razin continued thinking, "All techniques are linked to matter… unless I assume there are people in the world who know something about techniques but hide it. That's a very illogical assumption, but I'll assume it's true," Razin said, suffering from the voices inside his head.
"If we assume such people exist, why me? Why do they want me? Is it because of my high first beat?" Razin thought.
"But how… how could they control me? Even if I assume a mind-control technique exists and decided to control me… how? Are there conditions for the technique? Must they see me, for example? Know me?" Razin thought, placing his hand on his head.
"But… if this is true, it means someone at school did it… but I don't think there's anyone at school who knows about mind-control techniques," Razin added.
"Really, this is annoying. I can't understand the matter… why me? Why me? This is really annoying," Razin cried softly.
"Or maybe a third option we haven't thought of at all… Are these really my thoughts? Maybe there is no problem but I'm exaggerating it… maybe this is the jealousy Verina talked about before, but I refuse to accept it," Razin said.
"Could it really be that simple?" Razin sighed while feeling pain in his head.
"Don't try, don't learn, you'll lose… you won't win… you won't benefit… you'll lose, you'll lose, you'll lose… no one will win the race," the voices continued echoing inside Razin's head.
It was truly annoying to Razin.
"Listen to me, because i---… listen to me… don't try to learn… leave the school… you'll fail, you'll fail, you'll fail!" The voices increased in volume and intensity.
Razin's expression turned pale with eyes wide open.
"What? Why? What's happening?" Razin began feeling severe pain.
"Stop!!!" Razin shouted loudly in the room.
"I won't train… I'm tired… this is too much… I hate it… why are there so many meaningless things? Why is everything in this world lacking details? I really hate this, I hate this, I hate this, it disgusts me," Razin said with a defeated voice, thinking, holding his head, looking down.
"I won't train today… I can't," Razin said sadly. "This is very hard and exhausting… I don't know if I can do it… the inner voices get harder and harder every day," Razin said sadly.
Tears started running down his cheeks.
"I don't want to fail… really… I don't want to," Razin's tears flowed strongly.
"Wh-what's happening to me? Why me?" Razin was crying, sobbing between every word.
"All I want is to enjoy," Razin's crying intensified.
"Why me?!" Razin screamed while crying. He started crying heavily, covering his face with his hand, but his crying continued, tears covering his hand.
"I don't want to fail… I want to be special… I want to see my parents praise me… If I fail, I won't be special to anyone," Razin said crying.
"I don't want… I don't want… I don't want."
"From the start, everyone talks about my first beat… but why am I the only one under pressure? Is my first beat really an advantage or a disadvantage?" Razin sobbed.
"All I wanted was to activate my core and imitate my father's amazing abilities he used to do. Why are these voices inside me?" Razin sobbed.
"They're incredibly annoying… I hate them… I hate them… I hate them," Razin said crying.
After a while, the inner voices calmed, and Razin calmed with them.
"I won't let something like this stop me… I'll do it, yes, I'll do it… even if all the voices of the world are inside my head… I will activate my core, succeed, and see my parents proud of me! And after I do it, I will discover this whole world… I will discover everything… I will know what is happening to me… I won't allow anything else to happen," Razin said determinedly while crying a little.
After some time, Razin lay down and slept. Nine days had passed since the technique lecture. Razin was very distracted with his thoughts. There were many things in his mind — sadness, frustration, happiness, curiosity — all mixed up in this period. It was very annoying and exhausting.
---
Eleven days passed since that night — the night that exhausted Razin greatly and carried many strange things with it.
"All students passed the third stage… except… Razin," teacher Arnolds said at the meeting.
Razin's eyes were wide open and vacant. His spirit was empty inside, crushed by the psychological pain he lived through. All this was because of inner voices that ruined his progress.
But the most breaking thing for Razin was the accumulation of this failure.
"All the students passed me… I'm last… I'm last, what do I do? I'm bringing shame to my parents… will my friends abandon me too because I'm the worst? Wasn't I supposed to be the most distinguished? Why am I last?" Razin thought while staring sharply ahead.
"Razin?" Verina asked, looking at him worriedly. She knew everything that happened to him.
In the past ten days, Razin had tried to train daily but failed every day. The common factor was the inner voices that for some reason only haunted his mind during training. They told him to stop, that he would lose.
Verina always tried to help Razin. She never thought he was any less than her in any way. On the contrary, Verina knew that if someone else was going through what Razin was, they wouldn't even pass the first stage.
"Mom… Dad… when will you come? I want to talk… talk to you… I don't know what I should do… should I continue… should I stop… what is the right choice…" Razin continued his thoughts. "I feel scared… very scared."
Suddenly, Razin felt a hand touch his. He looked at his hand resting on the table and found Verina's hand holding it.
"Razin… can't you tell me what you're thinking? Maybe it will ease your burden a little," Verina said with a smile, trying to help.
Razin thought it might relieve some pressure if he told Verina everything he was thinking — all his negative thoughts. But what bothered him deeply was that Verina wouldn't be able to help him with his training problem… This was his problem, and he could only overcome it himself.
Razin looked at Verina with a pale face, trying to smile. "Okay… I'll tell you after the meeting," Razin said, looking directly at her.
Verina removed her hand from his. "Okay, no problem. Promise me you'll tell me everything you think, okay?" Verina said smiling.
"Okay, I promise." Razin's face was confused — was he sad or happy? Razin himself didn't know his full feelings.
---
"Oravien… don't you think we should visit Razin soon? It's been over twenty days since we last saw him," Alietra said while looking at her husband.
"I want to check on him. I want to see his progress too."
"Ah… yes, we should. But…" Oravien's recent memories of his trip to Moraief flooded his mind — Filmore… the city… the palace…
"But it's difficult. You know I'm banned from the city," Oravien continued.
"I hope Razin hasn't gotten into trouble because he is Alethiar or something like that," Oravien added, looking at the ground. "If they discover he's my son, maybe they will bother him a lot… They won't expel him, of course… but it will be annoying," he said while looking at his wife.
"I don't think anyone noticed… It would be sad if it happened. That's why we have to go. We have to go check on him," Alietra said.
"My brother said his opinion of me changed. Maybe that will make it easier for me a little. But I'm still exiled from the city. I'm not allowed in… Even if my brother's opinion of me changed, it doesn't mean my father forgave me or even my other brothers. So… I don't know," Oravien said, a bit sad but not too much. 7
"All of this because you made a foolish decision back then," said alietra as she prepared the food.
"No… it wasn't foolish at all. My choice was the right one. I believe that," oravien said with a serious face.
"What suddenly changed your mind so drastically? I've noticed this shift in you," alietra replied.
"My short trip to moraief changed a lot," oravien said, his eyes cast down toward the ground.
"If I were put in that position again, I would make the same choice a hundred times. Seeing my son and wife will always matter more to me than all of Alethiar."
"That's sweet… though I can't say I fully agree with that," alietra replied with a hint of sarcasm.
oravien looked behind him… at his outfit—all the disguise he wore during the previous journey…
"This time… will I be oravien? Or elikear?"