For the first time since my reincarnation, a genuine, professional threat was inside my dungeon and actively hunting for me. My best defenses had been bypassed, and my strongest allies were on the wrong floor.
FaeLina was, to put it mildly, freaking out.
'He's going to find you, Mochi! He's tapping on the walls! The Pillow Fiends can't do anything! They are literally just pillows!' her psychic voice screamed in my consciousness.
I, on the other hand, was mostly just annoyed.
This is ridiculous, I thought to myself, feeling a wave of deep irritation. I build a nice, quiet place specifically designed for napping, and this guy comes in making all this... effort. He's tense, he's poking things, and he's seriously ruining the vibe. This is cutting directly into my scheduled nap time.
Down in the Hibernation Hollows, Klarg the Hobgoblin was methodically tapping the walls with the hilt of his dagger, listening for any hollow sound that might betray a hidden chamber. He was a professional, and his focus was absolute. He ignored the soft lullaby and the twinkling starlight ceiling.
He reached an alcove and, with a grunt of impatience, kicked a wiggling Pillow Fiend out of his way.
The pillow tumbled across the floor with a soft, sad poof.
That was the final straw.
'That's it,' I thought, my annoyance hardening into a firm resolve. 'Nobody kicks my pillows.'
'Pillow Fiends,' I commanded, my mental voice sharp and absolute. 'Initiate Code Snuggle. I repeat, Code Snuggle.'
FaeLina's panic was momentarily replaced by sheer confusion. 'Code Snuggle?! What in the name of the seven realms is Code Snuggle?!'
In the Hibernation Hollows, the eight Pillow Fiends that had been lying dormant suddenly stirred. Their little stitched button-eyes began to glow with a soft, purposeful purple light.
They didn't snarl or roar. They began to silently slide and bounce out of the alcoves, their fluffy bodies converging on the very confused Hobgoblin.
Klarg stopped his search, sensing the movement. He turned and his professional demeanor faltered for the first time. He was surrounded by a silent, fluffy army of oversized, gently glowing pillows.
"What is this nonsense?" he snarled, raising his dagger.
Before he could decide what to do, the first Pillow Fiend launched itself at him. It didn't hit hard; it just... thumped against his leg and stayed there, clinging to his armor like a giant, plushy barnacle.
He kicked it off, but two more bounced onto his back, their weight making him stumble. Another one, with surprising accuracy, flopped directly onto his head, muffling his angry shouts in a sea of cotton stuffing.
It wasn't a fight. It was a dogpile.
It was a relentless, silent, and suffocatingly comfortable ambush. Klarg thrashed and swung his dagger, but his blade was useless against the soft, yielding bodies of his attackers. He wasn't being wounded, but he was being completely and utterly immobilized.
Soon, the feared assassin of the Blood Pit was completely buried under a wriggling, happy mountain of eight determined Pillow Fiends. All that could be seen was a single, armored boot, twitching feebly.
Then, the twitching stopped. Klarg, deprived of air and overwhelmed by the sheer, absurd pressure of the fluff, had passed out.
A triumphant notification appeared.
[Hostile Intruder 'Klarg the Assassin' neutralized!]
[Method: Extreme Comfort Subdual.]
[Bonus DP Awarded for 'Creative Minion Usage': +150 DP!]
FaeLina was silent for a long time, watching the wiggling pile of pillows. "...'Code Snuggle' worked," she whispered in utter disbelief.
I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. 'See? Pillows are the perfect weapon. Now, maybe I can finally get some rest.'
Just as I had that peaceful thought, the familiar system menu popped up.
[Hostile party neutralized. Please choose a disposition:]
[1. Absorb for DP]
[2. Eject from Dungeon]
[3. Initiate Dream Therapy (Recommended)]
I looked at the wiggling mountain of fluff that contained the unconscious professional assassin.
What kind of nightmares, I wondered, did a man like Klarg have? And was I about to find out?