"You know, you wouldn't hurt people, if you stopped putting yourself around humans." - Lin Si, 10, advising her sister when she was crying over how guilty she felt for hurting someone
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"What do you want with us?" His voice came out low and gravely. It was dark, and should have been fearful, but she was tired, so tired she just wanted to cry. She had been holding it back, with smiles and energy but she was done now.
"Nothing, I just want to marry you."
He snarled down at her, his arms lifted up to slam into the wall again. "Lies, what do you want to gain by coming here?"
She glared back at him for a moment, about to lose it. No, she shouldn't lose it, she wouldn't be like her mom and sister, she would be calm, she would always be calm, always be happy, never upset. And if she chose, she would have no emotions at all.
But, tonight, well, she felt a little defeated, her voice cracked a little from straining it to be quieter. "I want, I want…" What did she come here for? "I just want you to love me…" She finally whispered, and then she stepped forward, her arms encircling his waist, and she pulled herself closer. "Why do you keep thinking I'd want anything more?" Her voice was cracking, her cheeks were cold, cold and wet.
He stopped, stiffening, the moment she wrapped herself around him, taking back his hands, he forced her chin up to look him in the eyes again, hot water splashed against his fingers, as he forced her face up.
"...You're crying?" It was indescribable. He was utterly confused by now, she tried to pull back her face, but it would involve unlocking her arms to do so, so she didn't bother to do anything.
She just wanted him to leave her alone so she could sleep. Her mother would always leave her alone if she hugged her like this and cried.
"Why," she asked, her voice was trembling, lips shaking. "Why must you always be so mean, isn't it just a promise, can't you at least just pretend?"
But how do I verify its authenticity? Thought Li Junlong to himself. Afterall, if it really were his grandfather who wished this marriage, he'd agree no questions asked, but all the documents of his household had been destroyed, who was to verify it? His grandfather's handwriting? Did he even know it? However, whatever the case, making a girl cry wasn't really his thing, he quickly slid his hands up to behind her head, placing her face against his chest and shoulder. "Ok."
Wait? So he would pretend? Really? Did she just need to cry to get him to do things? What a shame, she hated crying tho…
However, from all the exhaustion of not sleeping for 2 nights in a row and also drinking way too much that night, she cried a little longer, before finally loosening her grip, he stepped out of the hug almost instantly. It annoyed her how fast he retreated.
"Sorry, we made you go out tonight, I know you didn't enjoy it." She commented, as he stepped toward the door. He paused, hand on the doorway.
"...it was okay." And then his figure disappeared. She didn't waste time, immediately throwing himself onto the bed, no covers or changing out of even her shoes, and falling fast asleep.
There was a certain charm that could be felt from waking up in the afternoon, well, it might have been if it weren't being awoken by another, calling for his servant to glance inside to see if she were really still in there, sleeping.
She rolled out of bed, sliding the door open. "Yes, yes, I'm awake now, what do you want?"
Li Junli just looked at her, flabbergasted.
She sniffed at him, leaning back against the door frame. "What? Never seen someone with a bed head before?" She picked some ear wax out with her pinky, she was a little miffed about getting awoken before 6 pm.
Li Junli just glanced past her into the room as well. "You…you are really strange," he finally concluded. He couldn't even imagine it, not changing clothes, not even removing shoes, but flopping down on a bed, without a cover on it, in fact, it was even missing the mattress…and sleeping for over 12 hrs??? What was going on?
Li Junlong, coming around the corner, and seeing the problem, just sighed, coming over to push his brother away. "Don't bother with them beggar habits, it's better if she doesn't rub off on you."
She just glanced at them, confused, and a little offended. "D*mn you, I'm not no commoner, you completely blind imbecile!" She flicked her wax at him. Before, catching herself. Ah, she had gotten too comfortable. She had found out just last night, the softer she approached him, the softer he would respond, the harsher, the harsher he would reply.
Thus, when Li Junlong heard this, he instantly sent Li Junli off with Sun'er and turned around to march back. "I'm what?" He asked, menacingly, looming over her.
"Ah," she considered. "You're the gentle, sweet man, doing his best for his family, I was just jealous of your perfection, is all."
Now Li Junlong was confused, he finally changed the subject. "You know, I can't trust you."
She nodded.
"But.." He hesitated. "I'm willing to try if you'll cooperate with me this time.."
Say what, did the soft approach work that well? She nodded excitedly, completely awake already "Sounds good! Should we go?"
He stopped her from moving, before going up to hold his nose. "Please change clothes, or bath or something, I was gonna complain about it yesterday, but it's even worse today…"
Ah, right, she sniffed herself. She did rather stink, she hadn't taken a full body bath in three months, and had handled skinning all those wolves recently.
She looked at him, "You have a bath I can borrow?"
He let her borrow the one in the servant's quarters, and she had to fill it up herself, although she was allowed to heat water for it.
After she'd finally gotten it filled with warm water, and then removed her outer robes, when suddenly she heard someone step behind her.
She turned around, and Li Junlong stopped in his tracks, currently holding out a robe. He instantly looked away. She glanced down. Ah, she'd gotten her clothes a bit wet, and since she only had one thin robe on, not even pants, she figured she'd look super thin, normally she at least bulked herself up with layers. Sigh, embarrassing, she had muscles tho! Okay! She had them!
He held out the white robe for her, it had red embroidery up the neck and sleeves. "Here, um, the smallest robe my brother has, um, so you can change clothes too, the ones you have on stink bad." he wrinkled his nose. She agreed that her clothes were rather dirty, and needed a good washing, she just hadn't had the time yet to do so.
She smiled, quickly walking forward, he did his best not to look. It was cute, but it wasn't like men hadn't seen her fully naked before though, and she still had some clothes on. "Thanks, a lot, I appreciate you taking care of me…" Since he liked compliments so much, she'd do her best to stop insulting him. "You are very sweet."
She suddenly let go of the robe, he instinctively caught it, accidentally looking down, at her feet and ankles, glancing up to avoid it, and ended up seeing the deep neck line, he instantly frowned, a little bit of rage swept out from him, and he thrust the cloak into her arms again, "You're way too dirty." and strode out.
Ah, shoot, she was trying to romance him, but it seemed he didn't like how she looked. Was it her scars? She did have a lot on her back…Sigh. she thought disappointedly, and went to go finish her bath, even found some soap! Wow! Soap! Haven't used that in an eternity!
She washed and came out several shades lighter, the water so murky, that she decided to refill it with cool water and re-rinse herself, this time she finally felt a bit cleaner. She had let down her hair, it flowed over her shoulders, in its multicolored glory, and after admiring herself, she finally wrapped the cloak around her and put on the white pants he'd brought as well. It was a pretty robe. Very simple in design, but very elegant and feminine She hadn't worn very many pretty things, even growing up, they always broke too quickly in her hands, a piece of jewelry wouldn't last a week around her neck or wrists or hand. Her mother had given up on even piercing her ears after the 10th ring got bent in half or snapped. But looking in the mirror, after washing, she found herself quite beautiful. Ah, maybe Li Junlong really had good reason to not find her beautiful before, but this time! Yes, he should easily fall in love this time!
She walked out, after soaking her clothes in the leftover bath water with some soap, quickly catching sight of Li Junli, she quickly snuck over, creeping up behind his chair, she suddenly wrapped an arm around his shoulder, making him jump. "xiao Li, xiao Li!" she grinned brightly, leaning over him, did I scare you? Hehehe"
Li Junli instantly felt a wonderful scent wash over him, and then wet hair dropped onto his shoulder, as an arm wrapped around him, and then, there was her face, merely a breath away from his own, without the smudges of dirt or tiredness, it glowed brighter than the full moon.
And then he found his face completely turning red. "Ah, ah." He tried to say something, but kept stuttering. She giggled, leaving him to sit opposite, scanning the weiqi board, and quickly taking over the white set. "What, you playing solo again, I can't believe you can find this game so fun to play it everyday." He just watched her every movement, even picking up a stone to place against her lips, her bright lips, gazing down at the board thoughtfully with those long lashes…how he wanted to reach out, to grab her…suddenly he stopped himself, glancing down at his arms. His arms that could barely move, and then his legs, his legs that he couldn't even feel anymore. What was he thinking? He'd never be able to do that. Never.
She finally placed a piece down, glancing up, "what, are you gonna make your move now, or what?" He shook his head to clear out thoughts, but she saw he wasn't happy. She instantly became worried. "What, should I not have joined you, did I ruin it?" She quickly took back the piece.
He tried to stop her, frantically, "No, no, it's not that!"
"Stop harassing my brother," suddenly a voice interrupted from the side. Lin Si turned around, lifting her leg up in an incredibly unwomanly fashion to place on the fence lining the small pavilion, and bending her head down to almost rest on it as she glanced up coyly. "What~" she licked her lips lasciviously. "Gonna stop me?"
Li Junlong rolled his eyes, not even attempting to hide it, before grabbing the chair between them, and taking the piece from her hand, rubbing it a little, as if to clean it, before placing it down in where he felt was a better move. "I said to come talk to me after, and you come out here to play?"
"Hahaha," her laugh was bright, and she leaned back, before whipping her hair back. "Ah, it seems the esteemed sovereign Jingsheng is jealous of this humble one, what should I do?? Sigh, it is so hard to be this popular~" She sighed dramatically, hand over face.
Li Junli immediately grunted in laughter, and Li Junlong's own mouth twitched for a moment.
Then, in the middle of her speech, she suddenly placed her hand in some bird dung. "Ayah, what's this?" She cried in discontentment, You ruined my speech, just now, how could you, I was doing such a great show, too…"
This time Li Junli was head over heels laughing, and Li Junlong's lips also curved up a bit.
"Yo, help me real quick," She instantly attempted to clean off the bird feces on his robe, and he leapt away instantly.
"No way!" He cried out, his chair flew out from under him as he escaped, then, noticing his voice, he suddenly stopped in shock, along with Li Junli. They both glanced at each other, Lin Si glanced at both of them, confused. And then, Li Junlong directly just turned and left. "Come to my office later."
Her eyes met Li Junli's, thumbing to the receding back. "What's with him?"
But Li Junli, just gazed at her, a sort of soft, loving expression on his face, a tear fell out of his eye. "You…how did you do it?"
"Eh?" She sat back down, leaning back, using some leaves to clean her hand. "Do what?"
"He hasn't used that tone since…since before then…"
He didn't need to say more, Lin Si understood but, "No way, is he that depressed?"
Li Junli didn't respond, looking away. Lin Si also had no mind to continue this conversation, standing up, she quickly made her way after the broad back that had left.
She found him quickly, he was in the training yard, the frown on his face, it had lightened up again a little, and she watched as he trained, every now and then he would glance over, to a little bird, building a nest on the roof top, and every time he did so, his face softened a little bit, and somehow each mighty swing of his blade was so soft it didn't disturb it.
"Li Junlong." She used his name for the first time. But he ignored her. "Li Junlong, listen to me." The frown on his face became deeper, but his exercises didn't cease in the least nor did he show any sign of acknowledgment to her voice.
"Li Junlong, you can't keep doing that."
He still didn't make any signs that he heard her. She called a couple more times, but he continued to ignore her.
She clenched her teeth. This was ridiculous. This man was ridiculous. Everything here. Ridiculous. Fine. Since it's come to this. Gazing around, she finally caught sight of his bow, she walked forward, picking it up, he still ignored her, then, in one swift movement, she grabbed an arrow of a stand, drew the string, and shot out and arrow, layered in a thin sheet of qi, it traveled so fast, he hadn't seen it leave the string, before it was already imbedded inside its little body. The small bird fell to the ground, completely still, its wings awry.
Li Junlong stopped his movements. His eyes had always been on the bird, but now, they slowly turned to her. The moment the bird died, killing intent surged out of himself, his eyes glowed slight hews of red, cutting into the usual white. And he stomped toward her. "You-" he was so angry, his face was turning black and red, his eyebrows tied close together. He became everything his normal, rather intimidating face suggested, a malevolent beast. She didn't move, not as he grabbed the bow from her hand, casting it away, or grabbed both her hands, pinning her against the weapons block. It was painful, but she didn't resist. She could've, but if she did, he would hurt himself instead, with how fiercely and recklessly he came at her. This was better. "Why did you do it?" Killing intent, so thick, it would cause a normal man, without battle experience to faint, writhed out from him, almost tangible.
"Hah." She spat. "Because you weren't listening to me."