"Alright, what do you want to drink?"
"Caramel coffee."
"Okay, Jarvis, make a caramel coffee."
[No]
"Huh? Why not?"
[...]
"Ah right, I forgot, Honey."
[Preparing coffee, estimated time: 2 minutes]
Tony and I sat across from each other. Both my hands were cuffed, and my legs and butt were locked in place, preventing any movement.
Very thorough, but should I tell him I'm strong enough to break free?
"Get to the point. What's your superpower?"
"Umm… Quick thinking?"
"Stop lying."
The problem is, I don't want to reveal it!
Tony stared at me for a while, and then the coffee was delivered.
He pushed the coffee toward me.
"Don't make me interrogate you seriously like I do with criminals."
"What do you do? Torture them?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah, I torture them by… THIS!"
Tony slammed the table, then revealed a phone.
"…What?"
He rapidly tapped on the phone, and a video popped up.
"Hehe," Tony grinned at me.
"…"
The screen was still loading…
"Um, Mr. Stark? What are you trying to show me?"
"What? You can't see—oh… The Wi-Fi sucks."
Tony set the phone down, clasped his hands together, and gave off a mysterious vibe.
"Alright, let's get straight to the interrogation. Ja—Honey, bring out the lie detector!"
Wait, aren't lie detectors supposed to be unreliable?
After a bit, the lie detector was brought in.
I looked at the machine—it was a cute little TV-shaped robot.
"Hello!"
"Hi."
"Hello."
Tony let out a sigh and looked at me again.
"Your power… Does it involve living beings other than humans?"
"No."
"HE'S LYING! COPS, GO CAPTURE HIM!!!" The little robot screamed obnoxiously, repeating the phrase over and over.
"What do you think of my robot?" Tony smirked.
…Dude, this is the most annoying robot I've ever seen.
"Next question… Is your ability something you were born with, or was it given to you by someone?"
"Umm, well… Given."
"COPS! LET HIM GO! HE'S INNOCENT!!!"
"Hmm…" Tony fiddled with his pen, staring at me.
"From who?"
Oh… No…
Should I tell him it came from a weird, chaotic god who invaded my mind and started spouting nonsense?
[What do you mean??]
'Help me, you jerk! This stupid robot is insanely annoying!'
[Hm? Ohhh, here, let me help… As long as you kiss—]
'No.'
[Alright, jeez, you owe me more chaos than last time! I'm bored!]
Suddenly, the little robot malfunctioned.
"Phew… From a weird spider. It bit me."
Tony glanced at the robot.
"Wow! He's telling the truth, dad! I've never seen anyone as honest as him! What a bright future this guy has! I'm already blushing, ehehe~"
"ಠ_ಠ?"
Tony looked at me, and I was speechless.
You idiot! Who told you to talk so much?! Now he's suspicious of me!!!
"Kid, if this thing's broken, you're paying for it. It's not cheap."
"…"
"I'll take your silence as agreement."
Suddenly, there was a gentle knock at the door.
"Come in."
Immediately after, a short-haired guy with a clear forehead walked in, his face calm and kind.
"Mr. Stark, is this what you asked for?"
It was a test tube containing a strange liquid.
"Yeah, thanks, Bruce."
Bruce? Ohhh, that's Hulk's other personality.
Bruce closed the door, and Tony turned back to look at me.
"Know what this is?"
"…No?"
"Heh, it's truth serum!"
"What??"
"Yeah, now I'll make you spill the truth! You'd better come clean, or I'll force you to drink this! You'll answer everything I ask, even your browsing history!"
"Ughhh…"
Science has gone too far!
"Tell the truth! Who gave you your abilities?"
Umm…
[If you're so worried, why not just destroy his brain? Quick and easy.]
'No.'
[What, are you actually going to tell him about me?]
'…'
I looked straight at Tony.
"Do you trust me?"
"Trust what?"
"Trust that I… have an outer god in my head."
[Wait, what the f***?! Are you seriously saying that???]
'I'm out of options. If I keep hiding it and cause a misunderstanding, it'll be a mess.'
"COPS! HE'S SUPER ULTRA INNOCENT! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE AS HONEST AS HIM! HE'S AN ANGEL SENT TO KISS THE LIPS OF HUMANITY!!" The robot screamed endlessly until Tony shut it off.
"Hmmm," Tony looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
"…What?"
"Hmmmmmmmmm."
"???"
"Well, I believe you."
"…Wow, that was easy."
"After all, I've met someone like that before."
?!
I looked up at him, utterly shocked.
"…Who?"
"Moon Knight."
"Oh, goddamnit, I thought it was someone else."
So, Tony thinks I'm as crazy as that guy… Geez, really?
"Show me your powers," Tony said. I scratched my head.
"Uh, pass?"
"Then don't expect me to let you out. You think you're strong enough to break free from those restraints, so you're feeling cocky, huh?"
Damn, he knows.
But honestly… I really don't want to use my powers in this form. I'd feel more confident in my Spider-Man suit.
"What's wrong? Too shy to use your powers without your superhero costume?"
"Are you reading my mind?"
Sighing, I raised my hand and shot a web at the wall.
Tony looked surprised as I shot the web.
Wait, Tony's actually surprised?
"…You… You're Ghost Spider?"
"Absolutely not!"
After a while, Tony finally nodded in acceptance.
"Got it, Ghost Spider No. 2, male version."
"Please, stop calling me that. Just call me 'kid' like you usually do."
"Alright, kid Ghost Spider No. 2, male version."
"…"
I don't want to join Stark Industries anymore.
"By the way, do you know why I'm interrogating you?" Tony lit a cigarette.
"…Because you think I'm a threat?"
"Only partly."
He looked at me, smirking.
"I'm looking for new members to build a superhero team."
…What?!
"What?! The Avengers already exist!"
"Avengers? That's a good name, way better than Super Fabulous Hero Payback."
Who the hell came up with that cursed name?
"So… do you want to join, kid Ghost Spider No. 2, male version?" He extended his hand, wanting to shake mine.
I looked at him, then smiled.
I reached out and shook his hand.
"I refuse."
…Suddenly, the phone on the table finished loading.
In the video, two girls were holding a cup.
"…Dude, what the heck?!" I stared in horror as the video continued.
Tony gripped my hand tightly, not letting me pull away.
"Ah yes, 2 Girls 1 Cup, my favorite. So, are you joining, or do I arrange for you to meet those two girls in person?"
"…"
This guy is pure evil. No wonder nobody likes him in any universe.