Cum lumina exstincta sunt, evigilavi, lente ambulans ad illud, nullum sonum faciens ne Luna excitaretur. Fenestrellam aperui...
------
"Why is it that you woke me up this early..?"
Rubbing his eyes, Lapsus complained.
"It is by the order of Sir Lunavayne.."
"..." At Qian Qian's words, Lapsus fell to silence. He didn't know how to feel, since not enough time had passed since that incident, for it was yesterday.
"We need to dress you up.."
Taking his clothes off herself was the usual for Qian Qian. Clara never trusted Lapsus to let him dress alone, not because he is a kid — after all, Luna dressed up by herself — but because Lapsus's sense of fashion wasn't the best and didn't fit, to say the least.
"What about school...?"
"Well, Sir Lunavayne wants to take a little family picnic, so no school for today.."
"..." At the mention of his name, Lapsus's thoughts clocked and his heart shrank. He didn't know what to say; thus he stayed silent — an action that is suitable for a 9-year-old but actually contradictory to what is expected from a grown adult… that is, if he was even an adult in the past life.
"Sigh..."
"...?" Qian Qian heaved a sigh, a sigh that played with the little sensation Lapsus's ear had. She was close to him enough to make him blush and then she quickly pulled herself away and hugged her chest tightly.
"Why are you staring at my chest like this.. pervert.." It was a playful voice, a voice that might raise some men's libido to its highest peak, but it was used on a child… not out of malice.
"What..?" Lapsus was driven out of his thoughts but he wasn't that surprised. This was just the usual Qian Qian teasing.
"You little pervert, you think saving a lady once from a beast makes her yours..."
"No no, what..?"
"You better think twice befo.. hahh.. haha." Qian Qian couldn't keep the act long, for she burst out laughing.
"Sigh..." Having to witness her usual playfulness — the usual playfulness, as if nothing is wrong — really helped him be at ease.
"Say, Qian Qian.."
"What is it, Lapu..?"
"Do you think Papa hates me..?" It was a pure question, a question every kid asks whenever they feel distant from their parent, a question that Qian Qian expected.
She brought herself closer — even though she was in her twenties, she wasn't much taller than Lapsus — so she only bent her knees for her rose eyes to lock on Lapsus's eyes.
"Tell me, Lapu.. do you trust me?"
"Umm.." Lapsus nodded.
"Do you think I would ever lie to you, me who always cared for you..?"
"No..." Lapsus shook his head left and right in refusal.
"Then believe me when I say that he cares for you."
"..."
"That he really loves asking and talking about you."
"..."
"He really wants to be there for you.. but some things can't be explained yet."
".." Lapsus had a little war going inside him, a war that Qian Qian's words declared. Her words seemed contradictory to what he was experiencing, so contradictory that he didn't know what to do, what to say. He even wondered, should I doubt her? Her who was always there for me..?
So he decided to beat around the bush, he faked a smile and asked a question that he was really edging to ask.
"Qian Qian..?"
"What is it, Lapu..?" Her smile was always welcoming; indeed that was the charm of a woman in her twenties to Lapsus, a kid.
"What is magic..?"
"Magic..?" She pondered for a second before answering.
"Isn't that the thing in circuses.. the one where this guy does some fast hand tricks?"
"Uh..." The answer was disappointing to Lapsus, so he had to elaborate.
"No, I meant what happened yesterday, the monster from Mama's bedtime stories and your wind bullets.."
"Ah.. I see, I see.. so that's what you were talking about."
"Yes yes.. that magic." Lapsus's eyes lit up in hope but he was quickly shut down.
"I won't answer.."
"But you said you will answer everything.."
"Even so, it's not that I don't want to.. but I can't.."
"Why.. don't I deserve a little reward.. I saved you." Lapsus started playing all his cards, hoping for an answer, but Qian Qian was an immovable object.
"Aha.. are you trying to.. aha.. I didn't know I raised such a hopeless kid.."
"Please.." Seeing the non-stop attempts of Lapsus, Qian Qian's heart moved a little and she felt like she couldn't disappoint him.
So, she brought her face close to his, so close that they felt each other's breath, breaths that drove Lapsus's little guy crazy. They were so close that they could kiss by just moving a couple of millimeters — and so was Qian Qian's intent.
"..!?"
Lapsus was taken aback, his face turned tomato red as he couldn't comprehend what was happening. Qian Qian didn't kiss him; she opened her pink soft lips and bit him — bit Lapsus's nose.
"Like I said, I can't answer because it is beyond me, it is something that must be discussed with Sir Lunavayne.." Qian Qian pulled herself slowly and showed a smile.
"That is why you can take this little reward from me.."
"..." Lapsus was stunned.
"Now, let's dress you up for the picnic.."
"Umm." Lapsus nodded
----
Sunrise illuminated the surroundings.
"Lapu, Luna… it's going to be a long trip," Clara declared at the twins, who were walking slowly out of the house, both of them seemingly sleepy.
"Leave them be, Clara… the carriage hasn't arrived late," Lunavayne responded to Clara with a little laugh. He was wearing a solemn suit with a half top hat, the same as Clara and the twins. Their clothes leaned more toward formal than casual.
"What do you mean, Lunav… he is right behind you…"
"Really… argh?" Although he was skeptical of her claim, Lunavayne turned to see—and was taken aback by him: a young man in clothes suitable for his job.
"Oh, Dave… you scared me there."
"I apologize for this, Sir Lunav…"
Dave…? This guy feels familiar…
"Well, little kids, my name is Dave, and I am the royal caretaker of the king's carriages…"
Feeling the gaze of Lapsus, Dave faced him and introduced himself. But Lapsus's thoughts focused on one single word.
Royal…? He was confused, and as he stared past Dave—at the carriage Dave had brought—Lapsus was bewildered, amazed. The carriage was like none he had ever seen. It wasn't similar to the ones he usually took to school with Luna and his mother, Clara.
It was well crafted, to say the least. Golden lines shone brightly against the blue stomps. Lapsus wasn't the type you'd expect to describe a carriage well enough, but he understood this wasn't for the public.
Sometimes I forget that my family belongs to royalty… from Mama's side, whose brother is the king of this kingdom. So this is a little taste of royalty…? With a little smirk, Lapsus thought as he embarked into the carriage with his family.
"Take care of the house, Qian Qian."
"请不必担心,卢纳夫大人,宅邸会安全的."
"Hehe… what did she just say, Clara?" With a little laugh as the carriage started moving, Lunavayne whispered to Clara.
"I have no clue," she responded.
Time passed by. Was it about two hours? Lapsus questioned as he watched the view outside the carriage, stealing quick glances at his father from time to time.
He looks not bothered, just like he doesn't care—no, I may be wrong. His mind might be occupied by something… I don't understand how politics works in this country, but I heard Uncle Aurel speak about some sort of political party… I don't know. Should I really trust Qian Qian?
"Hey, Lapu… Lapu… Lapu…"
"What is it…?" It was Luna, nagging at Lapsus's face after realizing he wasn't joining her conversation.
"Wanna play hide and seek…?"
"I don't know about that…" He refused, not because he didn't want to, but because of his understanding of picnics. Picnics are usually done in open spaces, which wouldn't work as a good terrain for hide and seek...
"Why…?" Luna didn't understand.
"Why, you say… it is because… eh?" Lapsus's words were cut as he realized something. They'd arrived, and the view from outside didn't look very much like an open space.
"Sir, we've arrived at our destination," Dave, who was handling the carriage, opened the door and announced.
"Thanks, Dave…" Saying so, Lunavayne disembarked. Clara followed him, holding both twins' hands to help them down as well.
…? A sanctuary…? An orphanage…? Lapsus was confused. This wasn't the place he expected it to be. It wasn't the green hills, the clean blue sky, the open space with fresh air…
There were no green hills, just tottering houses clinging to each other.
There was no clean blue sky, just the grey smoke of nearby factories.
There were no open spaces, just routes filled with tents.
There was no fresh air, just the suffocating stench of piles of trash.
The slums…? It was the part of the city Lapsus had never come close to.
"Where is the photographer…?" Clara asked Lunavayne as she stood at the threshold of the orphanage.
"Well, Dave is a photographer."
"Really…?"
"Yes, I work as a photographer too," Dave said as he changed into an outfit suitable for his new career. He held a camera, ready to shoot.
"Mama, where are we…?" Luna asked.
"Well, as members of the royal family, we have a duty to perform, so we will visit this little orphanage," Clara explained briefly.
"Mama… am I a princess?"
"Yes, you are… now let me hold you." Clara lifted Luna, though she struggled a little since Luna no longer had the petite build she once did. Eventually, she managed and faced the camera.
Lunavayne stood beside her, and Lapsus stood next to her as well, trying to avoid being too close to his father—without realizing at all that he might regret it.
"And smile…" And the photo was taken.
"Clara, I am feeling a little stiff. I'll take a walk around here."
"Wait, where is the press…?"
"Dave will take care of this."
"Really…?"
"I also work as a journalist," Dave said.
"I see…" With an awkward laugh, Clara glanced at Dave's new attire.
"Well, I will be going."
"Take care… and please don't be reckless."
"Hehe… I am no longer the same old guy, Clara." It was a small laugh, but for Clara, it was gut-wrenching. Her face turned gloomy, she bit her lips, but she didn't want him to see her that way. So she smiled and tried to brush it off.
"Lapu… come with me."
"…?" Lapsus was confused as to why his father would ask him to walk with him, but he quickly started following.
They walked for a couple of minutes. Nothing but silence prevailed between them.
"…."
This is awkward… Lapsus thought as he walked slowly behind his father's steps. By now, they had taken multiple detours, wandering deeper into the alleys.
"You know, walking here is really nostalgic." It was Lunavayne who broke the silence.
"Um…" Lapsus gave Lunavayne a little nod. Seeing that his son was listening with open ears, Lunavayne felt comfortable to continue.
"You remember that little orphanage we were at earlier? I was actually raised there alongside my little brother. His name was Jonas."
"You had a little brother, Papa?" Lapsus was shocked to learn his father was an orphan, but even more shocked that he had siblings.
papa had never mentioned his brother before—not even to Luna.
"Oh yes, I had. We were both raised here, in the slums of our great kingdom, Eirenthal… hehe." His tone was sarcastic, and Lapsus picked up on it.
"We used to walk here… steal some money there, bread there… we were little rascals."
"Is that so…?" Lapsus laughed and started getting comfortable. The way he is right now, I can smell it.
"Yes, we were. But we had a dream… we shared a goal."
"What was it, Papa?"
"We wanted to get out. To live better. But… but…" Suddenly Lunavayne lost the trail of his words. His breath became heavy, and he clutched his head as if a severe migraine had struck him.
"Papa…?" Lapsus tried to grab his hand, but Lunavayne shook him off as if swatting a mosquito away. Lapsus froze, confused.
Why…? He wanted to ask, but before he could, something interrupted.
"…?" A boy in tattered clothes bumped into him. He was running and collided with Lapsus, the impact strong enough to make them both fall.
"Sorry…"
A boy…? Both of them fell on their butts and faced each other. Lapsus didn't think much of it at first and tried to brush it off, but when his eyes locked with the boy's, he couldn't help but stare.
He is beautiful… Lapsus couldn't help but think so. The boy wasn't beautiful in the sense of a handsome man—he was beautiful the way a woman would be.
But something bothered him. Something other than the boy's beauty. The boy was staring at him, petrified, frightened—as if he had seen someone dead. As if he had seen a ghost.
"Are you alright…?" Lapsus tried to approach, offering his hand to help him up.
"…" But the boy didn't move. He neither accepted nor refused the hand. He just left it hanging before forcing himself to open his lips.
"Wha… no… this…" No coherent words came out, no proper sentence—only panic.
"Something wrong…" muttering under his breath, the boy stood up and ran away.
Lapsus watched him but didn't move. He didn't care—it was just a random accident. Nothing much of it. More importantly, I am here on a picnic with my father. I should ask him about his doings… But when he turned to face him, he found his father staring. His gaze pierced him.
"Check your pockets," Lunavayne said. And when Lapsus did—…? My little wallet… it's gone.
"That kid stole it. It was when he bumped into you. An old trick, but it works. Follow him."
"But I don't know where he went…"
"I know. Follow me."
Lunavayne walked briskly, his steps fast-paced. Lapsus followed, weaving through alleys that nobody dared to enter.
Until they reached a narrow alley where even sunlight didn't reach.
"I used to come here whenever I stole a wallet," Lunavayne said, finally slowing down.
"There he is. Go take your wallet back." He pointed at the boy from earlier, who stood with his back to them.
"I will go and ask him to—" Lapsus's words were cut short.
"No. Fight him."
"What…?" Lapsus was taken aback.
"He won't give it back to you. You have to fight him."
"But…"
"There is no but. Either you fight him or lose your little wallet forever." His tone carried no emotion.
Lapsus didn't know what to do, how to act. So he just followed his father's words. He ran and threw a punch at the boy's back—and succeeded in landing it.
It had been nearly three years since Lapsus learned of his obesity. He had trained hard, cut food, and lost a significant amount of weight, something he was proud of. But still—
"Argh…" He still lacked experience.
"What is it with you…" The boy wasn't bothered by Lapsus's frail punch. He grabbed his hand, twisted, and with the aid of his hip, threw Lapsus down, his back slamming against the ground.
"Give me… my wallet," Lapsus tried to stand, but the boy jumped on him, pinning him down.
"Who…" a punch "are…" a punch "you…" a punch
He hammered Lapsus with non-stop punches, one after another, each heavier than the last.
I am in pain, but why is it that his punches feel justified? They feel heavy. My nose is broken, but for some reason everything seems wrong and right at the same time. It feels off… I don't want to lose, I hate it. But this scent is throwing me aside… that fragrance lingering around his punches, lingering around him… the smell of oleander…?
----
"You lost…" After the fight ended—even though the outcome was decided from the start—Lunavayne waited until the boy had had enough and walked away. He approached Lapsus, who was struggling to stand up, yet he didn't help him.
"Um…" Lapsus, trying to stop his nosebleed, nodded. His face was full of bruises, but at least he could stand on his feet.
"Tell me, Lapu… do you get it now?"
"What…?" Lunavayne bent to his knees to bring himself to the same level as Lapsus. He grabbed him by the shoulders and continued:
"You felt it, right? It was an outright injustice. He took your wallet by force, and even though you were in the right, nobody stood for you. That's just wrong. Stealing your wallet is wrong. Beating you to a pulp is wrong. I hated it. I didn't want to watch it. I wanted to help—but I needed you to feel it, to experience it. The injustice this world has—that power always wins. The one holding immense strength is considered more right than others…"
It was a flood of words that only confused Lapsus further. He was just confused, lost in his father's speech. Lunavayne kept spouting words with eyes that looked hopeless to say the least—eyes that screamed in pain.
"That is why you should understand it. Tell me you would do the same as me. Tell me you would work hard to change it, just like I did—for the world, for this country, for the kids that are suffering, for Jonas…"
"Papa, I… I don't understand…"
He couldn't. What was his father trying to say? Why was he treating him this way? He felt scared. Even though his mental age was still a question he didn't know the answer to, in this moment Lapsus was immersed in his current age. He was just a 9-year-old kid who couldn't comprehend the picture his father was trying to draw.
"What do you mean…" In a pathetic voice, Lunavayne asked—pleaded—and lost control of his hands. His grip tightened on Lapsus's shoulders, hard enough that the boy couldn't move. Strong enough that it felt like his bones might break. Lunavayne didn't care.
"Why… why can't you understand? Are you mocking me? Are you calling me idealistic? I just want to find the truth, to change the kingdom for the better… Say it, Lapu…"
"…"
"Lapu… Lapu… Lapsus!!!"
"It… hurts…" Lapsus tried. He tried to tell his father about the pain in his shoulders, the pain in his heart, the pain of not understanding.
"It hurts…? Hehe." Lunavayne let go of his son's shoulders with a little laugh—a laugh that didn't sound genuine. It was sarcastic, as if he had given up on something.
"Let's go back, Lapu…"
"Umm…"
They walked out of the alley.
"Say, Lapu… Qian Qian told me. Want to know more about it? The way to bend the world…"
With a smile, Lunavayne asked Lapsus. Lapsus couldn't believe it. Does he mean… magic?
And he didn't hesitate to agree.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes…"
"Well, don't be too excited… haha."