Erat illud ignis caeruleus, illa lux nitens caerulea. Nesciebam quid vocaretur, sed illum stellam caeruleam amavi, illum stellam caeruleam odi, nec desinere potui eam intueri, sensus mihi excitans multos, qui foetebant…
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A dream... I was asking papa a weird question—wait, he wasn't papa, he wasn't my father, he wasn't Lunavayne... but why did I call him papa? Who was he, and why did I ask him such a weird question? Was it because at that time, I was too engrossed in those reincarnation novels... wait, what time...?
"sigh..."
He heaved a tired sigh as he rubbed the mucus from his eyes. My head hurts, I'm tired... such thoughts were occupying his head while his mother, Clara, was dragging him into the dressing room.
"mama..."
"What is it, Lapu?"
"Isn't it too early to get ready for school...?" he asked his mother, who was helping him unbutton his pajamas in order to get him dressed and ready.
"Well, today is a special day."
"So no school?"
"Yes, Lapu, no school. We're going to attend a national celebration."
"Celebration...?"
"Yes... it is a celebration for the first millennia of the Third Era."
"...?"
"Were you not paying attention in class? Both of the last two eras ended drastically before reaching a thousand years.. It's been two months since we entered the millennia, and nothing bad happened... the king ordered a ball for it.."
Too much for my sleepy brain to get... Lapsus complained about the little lecture he received at the break of dawn.
"What is it, Lapu...? You look lost," Clara asked with worried eyes.
"Nothing..." he shook his head in denial.
"Mama, where is Qian Qian...?"
"Oh, little Qian Qian went back to her homeland... We decided to give her a little vacation for her hard work."
"I see..."
"Hm... what is it, Lapu...? Do you not like your mama helping you dress?" It was a playful, teasing tone—a tone fitting for a mother.
"No, no... mama is okay."
"Ahh... I get it."
"You get what...?"
"Nothing... it's just..."
"I am just what...?"
"Nothing... after all..."
"After all what?"
"Nothing... you're just at that age... sigh..."
"No, this is not nothing... what age!!?" Lapsus started panicking, fearing that his mother might have wandered too far.
"You're getting embarrassed by your own mother... really, they do grow fast..." With a lament, Clara shook her head.
So, this is what she meant... no, what else would she think?
"Lapu..."
"...!!"
It was sudden and uncalled for... Clara opened her arms wide and brought Lapsus into her embrace. Lapsus was confused as to why... many possible reasons went through his mind—even the reason of no reason was possible, for he knew his mother loved him and needed no reason to hug him..
And for me... what do I think of her? Do I love her...? he asked, and he had no answer.
"I know you are confused..."
She knows...?
It was a voice that conveyed nothing but warmth and ease... a soothing voice truly fit for a caring mother such as Clara, a voice that sent Lapsus aback.
Mama...? For a second, a picture of a woman flashed through his eyes—a woman who wasn't his mother, who wasn't Clara—but he saw her in that woman. They weren't the same, but for a second, Lapsus saw them as the same.
"Mama..." It was a weird feeling. For a moment, he forgot about the suffocating scent that always haunted him and was immersed in a scene he never thought about deeply—a fragrance that played with the strings of his heart.
"Shh... Lapu, mama is here..."
"Papa..."
"I know... you don't understand, and I can't explain... I just want you to know, for this moment, that we love you. He loves you and cares about you."
He does...? Lunavayne—papa does...? But why is he acting this way...? Why does he keep refusing me...? Hurting me...?
Many doubts that he couldn't filter, he couldn't get rid of... he hated them. He wanted to deny them, but they were only getting worse with time—more intense, to the point he could no longer refute them.
"Say, Lapu..." After pouring all her strength into one big hug, Clara let go of Lapsus for just a moment before asking with a bright, playful face,"What day is it today...?"
"30th of February..."
"Hm... this day feels a little special... does it not ring a bell for you...?"
A bell...? Special... o—
"It's my birthday."
"Correct. We'll have a little birthday party after we get back from the ball."
"Really...?"
"Of course. Has mama ever lied to you? It's yours and Luna's special day—it must be celebrated."
--------
"sigh...""What is it, Clara..?""Nothing..."
Shaking her head briefly, Clara sighed again, dragging Lunavayne to ask her furthermore."It is not nothing, there has to be something."
Walking through a never-ending corridor, Lunavayne couldn't help but feel something off with his dear wife.Even though she was trying to tell him otherwise, he wouldn't brush it off easily.
"It's just that I'm feeling a little bit nostalgic... It's been years since the last time I walked in our palace."
A palace..? Lapsus thought as he walked a couple of steps behind his parents alongside Luna.So this is how they look like..? They feel grand... Lapsus couldn't take his eyes off the ornaments.
It really was a place in every sense the word light refers to—a royal one overall. The many paintings depicting what were most likely previous royalties, the wooden floor that with each echoing step kept proving its high quality, and most of all, the many maids and butlers going in and out of the uncountable rooms.
"Weren't you the one who wanted to live outside it..? I thought you hated it."
You're telling me we could've been living here!!? Lapsus was shocked when that idea crossed his mind. We were robbed of the luxury we deserve..? Not that he wasn't living in luxury himself, but one was more luxurious than the other.
"You know I wouldn't leave the house I grew up in for no reason."
So it wasn't simple...?
"After that little dispute with big brother, I started despising everything related to him... But now..."
Seeing the gloomy expression taking over her beautiful features, Lunavayne couldn't help but bring his wife, Clara, closer to him.
"Well, no need to feel hesitant... He is not only a king; he is your big brother.. I'm sure he has the same feelings."
As he finished his words, their steps finally came to a halt. They had reached their desired room—no, it was an office.
You could tell that it was the king's office from the small nameplate, but the little carved writing 'Papa' was a selling point.
Was it that guy Alexandre..? Lapsus thought about the perpetrator, but there was no point in doing so; he just brushed it off.
"...?"
Clara, although hesitant, reached her hand to the handle and tried to open it—only for it to be opened from the inside.
"Ohh..."
Someone was coming out of the office, and it wasn't the king.. It was a short old man; nothing was recognizable about him except for the fiery orange mustache hanging over his lips..From the little hair he had on his head, it was obviously dyed.
"Sir Irisia..."
"Oh, what a surprise... didn't expect to see you here, Lunav..." It was a heartfelt smile he showed.
"And please, no need for honorifics... you can just call me John."
"I prefer not to." Lunavayne declined the little proposal and tried to push John Irisia out of the way, since he was blocking the road.
"...?" But John Irisia's grip refused to let go of Lunavayne. Looking at him with a smile, John declared,
"I highly doubt the king would accept any visitors... also, I wanna have a little chit-chat with you, if you don't mind.. Is this what the kids call it nowadays—chit-chat?"
"Lunav...?" Clara turned to her husband.
"It's okay. Take the kids with you."
Hearing him, Clara grabbed both of the twins by the hand and stormed into the office room.
"Hey, I said the king—"
"No need to be this worried. It's just a small family reunion between the royalties. Us commonfolk can't interrupt them... can we?"
"Tsk..." Just after the office door was closed, with a click of his tongue, John Irisia shook off Lunavayne. It was a violent act of disgust, as he wasted no time pulling out his handkerchief and rubbing the hand that had touched Lunavayne.
"Don't put me on the same ground as you... darn peasant."
"Hm, that's really weird..."
"What...?"
"You, out of all people, go around and throw words like those... I thought you promised the public to get rid of the peerage system, ain't I right, Mister Prime Minister?"
"Ha..." It was a mocking scoff that came from the deepest parts of John Irisia's heart.
"A noble is a noble and a peasant is a peasant.. It always has been and it always will be.."
"Who decided that?"
"What are you saying? It is Ana who decides.. And since this system has lasted almost 3 millennia, what else can we say except that Ana has chosen this system."
"I hate people like you... Ana never spoke about classes.. She only explained the consequences of being a bad person—as the valiant interpreted, it's a karma that hits in the next life.. I don't think Ana would allow such a system."
"Ha... are you denying what the cardinals interpreted? Who do you think you are? You're nothing but a peasant, and you dare use the Testament against me—against us... wait, ha—hahaha." A scoff cut his words, turning into laughter upon realizing.
"Is this about your little stupid interview on the radio? What are you...? Drawing yourself as the tragic hero?"
"I never declared myself a hero."
"You don't have to when your pitiful actions scream it... Say, what would those people you're trying to save think of you if they knew you were messing with their faith? If they knew you were trying to give your own thoughts about what we've believed for many millennia?"
"I'm not messing... I'm just trying to interpret it my own way.. Never did the valiant speak against such acts."
"You're saying that the many intellectual prodigies we've had through thousands of years are all wrong, and a single peasant like you is right? Ha." He scoffed as usual; his scoffs were filled with saliva as he couldn't control his little fat body like any human being.
"I never explicitly wronged or denied their work... I'm saying they may have missed something."
"Quit with it, you—"
Suddenly, the words stopped. They both felt a strong arm embrace their shoulders from behind.
"He quits with what?" Aurel, with a sharp tone, asked.
"Aurel, I didn't see you coming—" His words were cut again by Aurel.
"That is 'Your Highness' for you."
"What are you talking about, Aurel—"
"I said that is 'Your Highness' for you, Sir Irisia." It was a cold and sharp gaze that made John Irisia's knees quiver.
"What kind of joke is this...?"
"It's no joke.. It's true that you won the previous elections... but doesn't it feel weird?"
"Weird...?"
"Like too many coincidences.. But since we were only young children—me and Clara—the old system forced your win."
"Even so, a win is a win, Aurel."
"Sir Irisia, although I lost the elections, that doesn't strip me of my position as royalty.. Also, this is no peasant—he is the husband of my dear little sister, an indispensable part of the royal family.. Commonfolk are commonfolk, whether they are a noble or not, a prime minister or not... Watch your language."
"I will excuse myself, your highness..." John Irisia didn't know what to say; leaving was his only option, as if the cat had bitten his tongue. After a couple of seconds, he shook off Aurel's hand respectfully and walked away.
-----
"And with this, we have nothing to do but praise and thank the gods... thank the lady, Iris... thank the lord, Tempest"
With that, John Irisia, who stood at the podium, took a couple of steps forward and lifted his hand into a fist before praising the Lady — Iris, goddess of flames and iron will.
Half of the audience followed him, while the others acted differently. They lifted their right hands wide open before striking their palms against their chests with enough force to make a clapping sound, but not hurt themselves — three consecutive times. They each whispered their prayers and finished their praises.
"Start..."
With a small gesture from the Prime Minister, drums started playing.
"Due to some circumstances, we won't have the king present — but who cares? Dance elegantly."
At the end of those words, strong trumpets played before a quiet and comforting melody began. Each noble took a partner, and each of them danced to the rhythm of their preferred waltz.
"How did it go...?"
Among the nobles were Lunavayne and Clara, who were forced to the center of the hall for the high and symbolic status they held.
"Well, I guess..."
"Your face is saying something else to me."
"I am... it's just..."
"Just what?"
"My brother... he looks exhausted."
"Exhausted? How so?"
"He was quick to apologize and make up with me, even though I was the one in the wrong."
"That's not that weird."
"It is — at least for him. He believed in no halfway when it came to dealing with disputes."
"I see... was that all you noticed?"
"Not really. The way he speaks, the way he drinks and eats... it felt like he's forcing himself into it."
"What about the children? How was he with them?"
"He was too sweet, and happy. He felt like a grandfather more than an uncle to them. He even gave them some candy and slipped two ten-pound notes to each of them."
"Ten pounds? The average worker's salary is twelve! That's too generous, isn't it?"
"I know, but don't worry... I tricked them into exchanging it for a quarter. The old trick Mom used on me — iron is heavier than paper, thus more valuable."
"Yeah... haha... I didn't have a parent, so I don't really know how to feel about that."
"Oh, I didn't mean to—"
"Come on, it's okay... Say, we've been married for how many years?"
"Sigh... I know you lost count. It's been twelve years."
"Hehe... twelve years. A lot and nothing happened at the same time — it feels weird."
"Yeah... who would've thought that? Me, married and a twin..."
"Time really changes us... who would've thought a filthy thief would have such kids?"
With heavy eyes, Lunavayne spared them a glance — Lapsus and Luna, who were now sharing a dance since there weren't many other kids at the ball.
They're still young, maybe...
"Oh!" For a brief second, his focus on the dance was lost; he almost tripped, so he decided to leave those thoughts aside and focus on the moment — at least for now.
"Sigh..." Feeling the little quarter in his hand, Lapsus couldn't help but sigh — sigh in defeat.
How could I fall for such a trick... the oldest one in the book... why?
"Watch your steps, Lapu."
"Oh, sorry..."
Although I'm trying, it's Luna who's leading the dance... am I really that insignificant compared to her...?
"Lapu, are you mad at me?"
"No..."
Mad? If anything, it would be envy...
"Why would you think so?"
"You're not talking to me like you used to."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're not laughing with me like usual."
I'm not...?
"You're not asking me weird questions like usual."
I'm not...?
"You're not helping me like usual."
I'm not...?
"You're not asking about my day, you're not telling me what to do, you're not asking me how you look, you're not asking me to stop fighting, you're not... you're not... you're not... you're not even looking at me like you used to!"
Me... not looking at her...?
"Your eyes keep avoiding mine... why?"
"I'm not avoiding your eyes, sister..."
"You're not even calling me by name! Is this some sort of punishment? Tell me what I did wrong!"
What she did wrong? Nothing... she did nothing wrong... how can she, when she's the smartest, the strongest, the most loved... even by Papa. He spends most of his time with her.
How can I not be jealous, envious? She's the one who got it all — she was the chosen, even by the wyrms, the source of power — while I'm just there, nothing special about me... how can I not be...
"Tell me, Lapu... you've always apologized when you were wrong."
How can I not be...
"Tell me, Lapu... you've always protected me from danger, even though I'm the older one."
How can I not be...
"Tell me, Lapu... is it that burning scar? Are you mad because I'm the reason?"
How can I not be mad...? It's my right, isn't it...
"Luna..."
"Lapu?"
Luna was shocked.. Lapsus suddenly stopped moving and held his steps still, interrupting the dance. Then he grabbed her face gently and called her name softly — his eyes, for the first time in a long while, locking with her emeralds.
"Luna, I've realized something..."
His voice was gentle, like his hands caressing her young cheeks.
"I have always hated you."
"What...?"
"I was really indifferent about you... but for some reason, I started hating you."
"What are you saying, Lapu...?"
"I don't know if you can understand me, but it's really suffocating for me to say this..."
The smell... it's getting thicker and thicker. Is it because I'm hurting her...? But why am I doing this...? Even though I know it's wrong...
He stared at her — her tears running over his hands — and before he knew it, he hugged her.
"I'm sorry, that was a lie... I don't really hate you."
He brought her into an embrace and tried to comfort her.
"Really?"
"Yes, I'm not—"
Before he could finish his words, Lapsus froze as he realized some kid was staring at him.
Why is he so close...?
Eyes like burning flames, fiery orange hair as bright as the sun, and a smile that brought hope and peace.
"Assyrem Irisia. And I must say — such a wonderful spectacle."
"Lapu...?"
Lapsus let go of Luna and tried to understand what this little kid was about, but the kid left no time. He quickly bent on one knee and offered his hand to Luna, whose tears had yet to dry.
"Tell me, my lady... is this young lad hurting you?"
"Lapu, is he your friend?"
"Never seen him before..."
"Having such a troublesome love story at a young age is really painful... but maybe this boyfriend isn't the one for you. Wanna give me a chance?"
"We're siblings."
"Even so, hurting a beautiful girl like her is unforgivable. No brother should—"
"Hey... Lapu, he's scaring me."
"I'll just ignore him.."
"Wow... this is just unbelievable — ignoring the chosen one, the hero of this era, the second coming of the valiant!"
"Lapu, wait for me..."
-------
"Don't worry, we'll be there by sunset." Holding Luna's hand, Aurel declared.
"Keep her safe."
"Come on, darling... this is her uncle — nothing to worry about," Lunavayne tried to ease Clara's worry.
"I know, but... something feels off today." She couldn't shake that weird feeling in her chest.
"Hehe... you're just worried. And as for Lapu—" moving his gaze toward Lapsus, who stood there holding his head, Aurel asked,
"He said his head is hurting. He won't be able to stay long."
What is wrong with my head suddenly...? This migraine...
"Is that so? Even though big brother requested you both... he'll be disappointed." patting his head, Aurel asked Lapsus,
"I'm sorry.. "
"No, it's okay.. Just make sure you're fine before tonight's party.."
"Umm..." With a little smile, Lapsus nodded
"Lapu... are you okay?" With guilt all over her face, Luna asked.
Why is she showing such an expression...? Is she pitying me...? Am I that pitiful—no, what am I thinking? This migraine is driving me crazy... I can't think straight
"Luna, hold this..."
Walking closer to her, Lapsus took off the bandage from his left arm, revealing his burning scar, and handed it to her.
"...?"
"Like I said, you're not the reason I was burnt. It's my own fault — something I willingly did.."
"But Lapu..."
"No, never think that way. Keep it for me and bring it back later tonight. At least you won't be lonely — a little of me will be with you."
"Lapu... what does this mean?"
Luna was confused, and Lapsus realized he had made a little mistake... This kind of act was not only a bad omen, but also felt extremely weird if done between siblings..
"Well, nothing... it's just that my arm needs a little air—"
"Sir Lunav, the carriage is ready."
"Thanks, Dave."
Really, thank you Dave... Lapsus couldn't be happier — he was finally getting out of the awkward situation he had just created...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what happened.. ------------------------------------ this migraine.. ---- it won't stop.. ----
my ears... I can't hear... a reverberating sharp sound stabbed his ears... his body is heavy, something is over him— no, holding him down, it was hands— hands he doesn't know to whom they belong, his vision is blurry
my head... the migraine is getting worse...
as he struggled to breathe amid the dust, lapsus forced himself away from the hand holding him
"..?" before he knew it, the air cleared, his hearing and vision were back and the headache disappeared, but—
"Dave..?"
he had no time to celebrate those little wins, as he finally understood the situation, the hands holding him were Dave's... he wasn't holding him down out of any malice but just to save him— the blood... not just blood, but it was clearly visible, dave was no longer moving for he no longer could
"dave..." lapsus tried shaking him, hitting him, hoping dave would wake and move, but it was defying the reality in front of him... the wreckage had hammered dave's body, penetrated him, leaving no chance of staying alive
what is happening!? what is happening!? what is happening!?
lapsus forced himself to stand, move, and try to understand, and that didn't take him long as by just turning around, just by staring behind his back, he found out what was happening as it was as clear as day
"mama..?"
his father, lunavayne, was on his knees staring, shocked, unable to move... his mouth open, trying to utter any words, but the spectacle in front of him was frightening enough, shocking enough to make a grown man like him like this
it wasn't lunavayne whom lapsus's eyes were fixed on, but his mother... the situation he found his mother in just made all his cognitive abilities stop... his mind went blank, his body refused moving as he didn't know what to do, what to think... he just sat there and watched it unfold in front of him
"cough... say, darling..."
coughing blood, a hand piercing her chest, yanking her heart out...
"would we meet in the next life again..."
with such weak words Clara uttered, she gathered her remaining force and opened her mouth widely before biting them, biting the person who caused such a situation... a bite strong enough to make them bleed, a small bite in their right shoulder
they were covered in an all-black veil that concealed their identity, their gender, their age... Clara, and as a farewell act of defense, bit them, and with that bite... the princess of Eirenthal kingdom, the little sister of Aurel and Alexandre, the wife of Lunavayne and the mother of Lapsus and Luna.. Clara Siderus breathed her last breath
"Clara..." finally a faint word came out of Lunavayne, a tear ran down his cheek, but he knew this was no time to grieve his loss... he quickly stood up
"you... fucker!!"
through gritted teeth, Lunavayne started walking heavy steps towards the perpetrator, the killer of his own wife... his emerald eyes flashed black, a lightning rod emerged from his hand with one single intent, and it was to show them hell. however—
"what...?"
something was wrong, Lunavayne's nose bled, his eyes were once again emerald and the rod disappeared, and with a great headache, his steps came to a halt as he watched that person forcefully grab his dead wife by the hair and throw her aside
"I .. can't .. use my power..."