*Aria*
"You look so beautiful when you smile " he whispered, his breath too close to my ear.
I flinched as his fingers traced the line of my jaw. His touch was gentle. Too gentle, yet it made feel scared.
"Dad, stop," I say, the words barely audible.
I try to push him off, but he holds me closer.
His grip tightens "Shh baby, don't be like that. You know you want this."
I kept trying to move, but my body wouldn't respond. I felt trapped. His face blurred above me, but I could see the hungry look in his eyes. His hands kept moving.
I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out.
My voice was muffled.
Silenced.
I wake up gasping for air, my heart beating fast. Darkness suffocated me and my sheets clung to my sweat-soaked skin. I sit up, trying not to think too much, though that never helped. 'It was just another one of nightmares.'
I check the alarm clock on my nightstand. 6:00 AM. My flight to Moscow was in a few hours, and I had less than forty minutes to get ready.
Today was supposed to be a new beginning.
It was not an escape. Just a change I needed.
I toss off the covers and get out of bed, my feet barely making a sound on the wooden floor. I padded over to the window and pulled back the curtain, letting the faint light in.The sky was just starting to clear up, still a bit foggy with no sun out yet.
A new day, full of possibilities.
I get dressed in the outfit I'd picked out the night before, everything simple. Then head over to the kitchen to make coffee,the rich aroma filling the small space. I use that little time checking my flight documents, making sure everything was in order. I take a deep breath, feeling very certain about the whole thing.
A new country. A new life, I guess.
I glance around my apartment, taking in the familiar sight one last time. The worn carpet, the mismatched furniture, the old TV,the large mirror, bookshelves filled with stories I used to escape into. Pieces of life I didn't know how say goodbye to. I would miss this place in some odd way. But I wasn't staying. That much I was sure of it.
I grab my things and head out.
****************************
The taxi ride to the airport was mostly in a blur. The girl at the front desk tap-tapped her keyboard and printed off my boarding pass. After tagging my bags, she handed everything back. "Your bags are checked all the way to Moscow but you'll have a stop in Istanbul for four hours." "Please make your way through immigration, and proceed to the departure lounge. You board at nine-thirty." Navigating the check-in process was surprisingly easier than I thought .People were everywhere, rushing, talking, but I felt oddly calm amidst the noise.
Soon, the announcement came over the loudspeaker "Flight 602 to Moscow is now boarding."
I find my seat by the window and as the plane takes off, I quickly reach for my belt and pull it to the longest length, sometimes the seat belts on a plane are a struggle.
Everything I'd known, gone in a blink.
I didn't cry.
I didn't even feel sad.
I closed my eyes,letting the weight of everything settle.
I wasn't running. Not really. I was just... letting go.Of everything that had shaped me. Burned me. Left marks on parts of me I'd rather forget.
The hardest part wasn't leaving. It was not knowing who I was without everything I'd survived.
***********************
3:05 AM, Moscow Russia
Cold, dry air hits me as soon as I step out.
It was different from the warmth I was used to in Colombia, with the temperature somewhere in the high sixties. With my winter boots and a fleece sweater, I still feel like I'm freezing to death.
It's pitch-black outside, the headlights from our car and the street lamp our only source of illumination.
A man dressed in a grey uniform greets me with a nod "Rostov University?" he asks, already knowing the answer.
"Yes that's right"
He nods and loads my luggage into the car "Welcome to Russia, Miss...?"
"Aria"
Not the name I was given. But the one I chose.
He doesn't say anything after that. The rest of the ride continues in silence, and I peer curiously through the darkness trying to discern our location . Nothing much was visible. It looked grey and unfamiliar, beautiful... in a bleak kind of way.
We pull up to a dorm building. He hands me a key card "Room 302. Elevator's down the hall."
On the third floor, I find room 302. My fingers hover over the door handle for a second before I finally pushed it open.
The living room was bigger than I'd expected.
There's a comfy couch at the far end, a couple of bean bags, and a TV on a bookshelf leaning against the wall. Posters cover half of the paintings. Band names I didn't recognise, quotes scribbled in Russian. It smelled clean, lived-in.
It felt like normal.
A girl gets up from the couch, smoothening her dress. Her brown is pulled into a messy bun and she looks friendly.
She walks over with a smile, and looks at me like she already knew who I was.
Or thought she did.
"Hey,you must be the new girl", she says, in her smooth russian accent. "I'm Anastasia and this is Lena." She looks up from her laptop immediately, her dark hair falling across her face "Hey", she says softly, her eyes looking curious, before she returns her attention to the screen.
I drop my bag near the entrance with a soft thud. My voice comes out quieter than I meant, it felt strange, almost like I was unsure of it "I'm Aria."
"Come, I'll show you around." Anastasia points towards a short passage "We've got separate bedrooms, but we share the kitchen and the bathroom. We've also got a shared closet."
I nod, "Thanks"
The weight of everything catches up to me at once. I hadn't slept for over eighteen hours. No one here knew what I came from, and I wasn't about to tell them anything.
This wasn't home. Not yet.
But it wasn't where I came from either.
Maybe I'd find something here–peace, freedom. Or maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I'll just get through the days and pretend that was enough.
For now,it was.
I didn't need a perfect life.
Just one that didn't hurt to wake up in.